Forgot my keys...

AARRRGH

The only time in the history of the world my flatmate isn't at home watching TV happens to be today. Unfortunately I've forgotten my keys so I'm locked out of my gaff.

The Vodafone network is down (Dublin City Centre) so I can't ring her to see where she is/when she'll be home.

It's bloody freezing out.

I'm in the Internet cafe across the road wondering wtf am I going to do. I'm supposed to be at home studying for an exam on Tuesday.

Maybe she won't come home tonight and I'll end up sleeping rough? I don't want to become a rentboy.

In the old days I would've just called around to a friends house, but I'm expecting Vodafone to come back online any minute. They've been down for an hour. Surely they'll be back online soon?

What do you do when you forget your keys? Wait for someone to come home or just give in and go somewhere else?

Karoma

Find a payphone..? or is she with Yodafone (too)?

AARRRGH

She's vodafone too...

Cool_CM

Go to the cinema and when you come out the network will be back up and your flatmate might be back? Either that or the world may be about to end and you've wasted the last 2 hours of your life....

admiralofthefleet

could you check her usual hangouts? places where she might socialise after work?

Doctor DooM

I'd go somewhere else. Whats the exam in? Can you get resources off of the net?

AARRRGH

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

could you check her usual hangouts? places where she might socialise after work?

She doesn't leave the flat. The extremely odd time she does, it's to the Dragon or the George (she's a lesbian.) I think I'm looking vulnerable so the gays might try to take advantage of me...

jameshayes

Hire a locksmith if you have the money?

AARRRGH

SDooM wrote: »

Can you get resources off of the net?

Good idea! Didn't think of that. It's IT stuff so there should be loads of material.

jameshayes

dublindude wrote: »

I think I'm looking vunerable so the gays might try to take advantage of me...

:eek:

Karoma

dublindude wrote: »

I think I'm looking vunerable so the gays might try to take advantage of me...

Meh. You'll have a place to 'sleep'...

Sierra Oscar

Ask the guy behind the counter in the net cafe if you could perhaps use the phone? Its a matter of urgency...;)

admiralofthefleet

dublindude wrote: »

I think I'm looking vunerable so the gays might try to take advantage of me...

they wont, gay bars are just the same as any other bar, go check to see if she is there.

AARRRGH

So many helpful posts I'm impressed. Thanks everyone!

Overheal

well last year i went to bed after a night out, tucked in cozy.

Next thing I know im banging on my own door to get in, standing in nothing but my boxers. So no: no key. And no way in. My room mate chose that night to sleep over at his girlfriend's :rolleyes: fortunately the neighbours took pity on me after staring at me through their peephole for 10 minutes figuring out what to do with me....

Good times were had by all. ask a neighbour to crash at their place.

Karoma

Oh crap! you're right.
Sorry.

GO SLEEP WITH YORE MA!!1! IF SHE'S NOT ALREADY SHAGGIN' SOMEWAN!1

Karoma

Overheal wrote: »

well last year i went to bed after a night out, tucked in cozy.

Next thing I know im banging on my own door to get in, standing in nothing but my boxers. So no: no key. And no way in. My room mate chose that night to sleep over at his girlfriend's :rolleyes: fortunately the neighbours took pity on me after staring at me through their peephole for 10 minutes figuring out what to do with me....

Good times were had by all. ask a neighbour to crash at their place.

Porntential!
Did they take advantage of you? Were they gay? That's what gays do: they take advantage of you when you're at your most vulnerable. FACT!

AARRRGH

I was actually joking when I said that Karoma, just in case that wasn't obvious...

Archeron

Paint yourself and your clothes bright silver and stand perfectly still outside the door of a pub. If you're good enough, you'll earn enough money to spend the night in a B&B. Remember to only move to tip your hat when someone gives you cash.

jameshayes

This should be made a sticky - great resource about getting locked out and gays

Karoma

dublindude wrote: »

I was actually joking when I said that Karoma, just in case that wasn't obvious...

ORLY?! Wow... um, wow. Woah! my face and arse are red now... oh, dear.

Duh. So was I.

AlmightyCushion

Just use a brick.

Ghost Train

if she had a www.twitter.com page it might say where she is

Jackz

Licking the vag of(f) some other chic no doubt.

L1011

dublindude wrote: »

I think I'm looking vulnerable so the gays might try to take advantage of me...

Are you wearing Abercrombie and Fitch? Might do so then, otherwise probably not.

Terry

dublindude wrote: »

The only time in the history of the world my flatmate isn't at home watching TV happens to be today. Unfortunately I've forgotten my keys so I'm locked out of my gaff.

The Vodafone network is down (Dublin City Centre) so I can't ring her to see where she is/when she'll be home.

It's bloody freezing out.

I'm in the Internet cafe across the road wondering wtf am I going to do. I'm supposed to be at home studying for an exam on Tuesday.

Maybe she won't come home tonight and I'll end up sleeping rough? I don't want to become a rentboy.

In the old days I would've just called around to a friends house, but I'm expecting Vodafone to come back online any minute. They've been down for an hour. Surely they'll be back online soon?

What do you do when you forget your keys? Wait for someone to come home or just give in and go somewhere else?

Unlucky.

Cool_CM

So what did you do in the end?

Terry

Cool_CM wrote: »

So what did you do in the end?

He took it.

Cool_CM

Terry wrote: »

He took it.

Which option, the brick or the gay bar?

Dave!

If all else fayles, then just stay in a hostel.

Karoma

DaveMcG wrote: »

If all else fayles, then just stay in a hostel.

Home of teh gays?! ARE YOU MAD?!

5uspect

Just try the backdoor...

faceman

Before boards.ie was invented i used to climb in a window.




(...............of someone's else gaff)

Setun

Hast he no mates?

the_syco

Erm, DublinDude, if you're still reading this: your phone may have no access to the network, but her's may have.

Fad

5uspect wrote: »

Just try the backdoor...

Fajitas!

I got locked out while drunk last night.

Found myself a nice couch at a party to sleep on.

Terry

the_syco wrote: »

Erm, DublinDude, if you're still reading this: your phone may have no access to the network, but her's may have.

I can't believe that chick you are with is dublindude's girlfriend.
You suck.























Kudos to you.

floydmoon1

This week in Pick Me Up:

Man turns gay after losing keys:

A local dublin man tells of how he turned gay after losing his keys:

Dublindude:
Well I came home to my flat last friday evening and noticed i had lost my keys.It was a cold night and my lesbian flatmate wasnt there to let me in.I decided to go across the road to an internet cafe and tell everyone on boards.ie of my conundrum.After a number of suggestions to look for my friend in the local gay bar I decided to face my fears.When I first walked into the bar my fear turned to amazement and excitement.I began to become curious of this lifestyle.I asked the barman had he seen my friend ,he said no but offered me a drink due to my situation.We got talking and he seemed to be a nice guy.Soon it was closing time and he walked home with me.My friend still wasnt their so he offered me a place to stay.Reluctantly i said yes.The rest you might say is history.

randylonghorn

You missed the bit about how the barman volunteered to search his pockets for the missing keys ... >_>

Off-topic, but yeah:

One morning I threw on a random pair of pants and walked out of this place I was living in. Got outside to realise I had left my keys in my other pants. It was one of those doors that locks as soon as you close it. Glancing through the window I could see where the pants were. The window was open so I managed to find a hose and a clothes hanger. Bent the hanger, stuck in the hose, threw it through the window. A few attempts later and it hooked on to the belt. Dragged it closer to the window and then ... the hanger fell off!

Had moved it closer to the window so found a hoover, stuck the hose part through the window, caught the pants when the hoover was turned on, and brought my pants in that way, thus letting me back inside.

Long winded story, yeah, but im quite pleased with it. Alternatively, I could've used a rock to smash the lock. But where's the imagination?

thefinalstage

Deleted User wrote: »

Off-topic, but yeah:

One morning I threw on a random pair of pants and walked out of this place I was living in. Got outside to realise I had left my keys in my other pants. It was one of those doors that locks as soon as you close it. Glancing through the window I could see where the pants were. The window was open so I managed to find a hose and a clothes hanger. Bent the hanger, stuck in the hose, threw it through the window. A few attempts later and it hooked on to the belt. Dragged it closer to the window and then ... the hanger fell off!

Had moved it closer to the window so found a hoover, stuck the hose part through the window, caught the pants when the hoover was turned on, and brought my pants in that way, thus letting me back inside.

Long winded story, yeah, but im quite pleased with it. Alternatively, I could've used a rock to smash the lock. But where's the imagination?

Or frozen it with your freeze breath!

thelastangryman

thelastangryman wrote: »

Or frozen it with your freeze breath!

Shuusssh! Nobody is meant to know!

thefinalstage

Deleted User wrote: »

Shuusssh! Nobody is meant to know!

I though all Galway people had that power? I mean thats the where the last of the Kryptonians landed after their planet blew up. Thats why Galway had broadband first.

thelastangryman

thelastangryman wrote: »

I though all Galway people had that power? I mean thats the where the last of the Kryptonians landed after their planet blew up. Thats why Galway had broadband first.

Damnit. Where did I put my mind-eraser ray gun

You do not know any of this stuff... nnnnn ... we do not have powers ... nnnn ...

Don't know if Jedi mind-tricks work on the internet ...

thefinalstage

Deleted User wrote: »

Damnit. Where did I put my mind-eraser ray gun

You do not know any of this stuff... nnnnn ... we do not have powers ... nnnn ...

Don't know if Jedi mind-tricks work on the internet ...

Its public knowledge now I'm afraid. Now come and save us from the U.S. already!

AARRRGH

Managed to track down the GF, so I got to spend the night in a warm bed.

Back home now (she has keys) and yes, the keys are lying on my bed.

Does anyone else have this problem? I normally bring three items out with me - wallet, keys, phone. If I'm bringing out an extra item, for example, a bag, I normally forget one of the three items.

It's like I'm a changing room, only allowed three items...

A-Trak

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Just use a brick.

A housemate of mine once took this option.

After a night on the sauce, losing his keys and banging on the door and calling the rest of us for an hour, (we had also been on said sauce hence no answer,) he figured the cost of replacing an entire patio door would be cheaper then a hotel room.
So the brick became an imprompteau key to the patio door.

When asked the next morning why he didn't smash one of the tiny panes of glass on the front door and simply open the door as opposed to picking the biggest and vastly more expensive bit of glass his response was of course STFU.

AARRRGH

Same with a friend of mine. He had picked up two girls and when he got home noticed he didn't have his keys. Smashed the window and opened the door. Literally 5 seconds later his brother arrives home.

Heheh.

Overheal

Karoma wrote: »

Porntential!
Did they take advantage of you? Were they gay? That's what gays do: they take advantage of you when you're at your most vulnerable. FACT!

porntacular

no it was one of my friends and his gf. I was very drunk and comfortable enough laughing about my situation. She went and asked me if I was gay :rolleyes: but at the time I took some resentment to that and a couple days later at a house party I was asking her about why she was in social care, asked if she was abused as a child or something and apparently I really struck a nerve that bitch hates my guts now... live and learn.