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Dumped
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04-01-2008 6:41pm#1
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When I had to end a year-long relationship and realized I wouldn't be able to pay the rent of the flat I had basically rented for the two of us, I moved within three days. That'll certainly help, the moving itself will keep your mind occupied at least. Besides that, I don't know what will help, but meeting up with him like friends is not a good idea. Either way, eat healthy, try to have enough sleep and be around warm-blooded cuddly little creatures as much as you can
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Poor thing
It's a horrible feeling.
If you're not happy with where you are living definitely move.
In the situation that you're in its good to be surrounded by people even in the evening times.
As for the boyfriend, for the moment you have to ride out the storm unfortunately.
I'm sure after the last bloke you couldn't think about being with someone else? Maybe that was this guy's function?
Don't look at this weekend as being alone and a bad thing if that is the way it pans out.. which it might not.
Fate has a funny way of sorting things out.
For this evening since you're in the house alone put on some really up beat music and convince yourself you're having a little rest. My main advice would be trying to get your head around not investing or cutting yourself up with so much feeling for a person you knew for such a short period of time. I know you said feelings are feelings, but a tiny bit of self protection is needed now.
Be hard and tough rar! 0 -
stick to your own advice, you said you wouldnt get so upset about it so try dwell on that and come out strong. Youre fairly[can i say very?] Pretty so getting back on the road wont be a problem. Best way i dealt with it was keeping VERY BUSY. Id go for coffee with friends, go out more, eat out. I even stayed around college longer.....sad.
Anyway 6 months is not too long. Stick to your hobbies 0 -
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Thank you. The not staying friends thing is going to be the hardest, I'm going to miss my buddy
But everyone has said the same thing, we can't stay friends If that many people are saying the same thing it must be true. As much as I can't bare it I can't not listen to that many people saying the same thing.
How do I do this 0 -
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eh Magic marker,
it doesnt happen everyday, it shouldldnt happen everyday
its not a fact of life either. First few days are always very hard, its an awful feeling. But why not start of 2008 fresh ?
actually go shopping, that actually works. even for men 0 -
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Hi Clare,
I have to say in my situation we are both happy now and although hard for us, we know that further down the line we will be great friends, so I'm nearing the light at end of tunnel so to speak and you will be there soon. Another thing was and forgot to say this in earlier post, don't feel sorry / silly or bad for feeling this way after 6 months, as you said not only a boyfriend but a friend and always hard to loose them. Just looked at your site, and as magooly said, that guy needs his head examined 
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It's good to get it out on here, sometimes you just can't talk to friends....especially the ones that are loved up.
Tell me about it
Anyway, Well with you moving apartment, I would normally call that a bit drastic but in the case where you weren't happy with where you were, I say this break would be a good catalyst to move, get stuff together and if you had memories of yourself and bf in that apartment even better.
As for local bars etc, Hell no, you shouldn't have to change where you want to go. I know it will be hard if you do see him chatting up other women but you would hope the guy would be sensitive enough not too (at the start anyway). Go out enjoy your time in your bars \ pub \ clubs \ cinema with your friends. Trust me, its worth it and does make you a stronger person.0 -
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It's sad but I don't want this thread to end yet I don't have anything else to say. But I know this will go down the page like the others do and people will forget about it, yet I'll still be here feeling miserable. I think I'm worse this morning than yesterday, just knowing that's that now and that part of my life is gone is killing me 0
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I know what you mean clare, but your only a young un (not young one) and there will be loads more of times a million times better than the last 6 months up in front of you. As I said you just up and your reading these posts and going through things in your head. Grab you bag and head out shopping or go for a good walk, meet friends for a coffee keep active
Hey I just realized, on bebo, that we have friend in common weird 0 -
MagicMarker wrote: »No she can't, there are rules here.
Like i said, everyone goes through it, not everyone spams a message board because of it.
My advice still applies, sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear, that's just another fact of life. That's me done on the subject.
Get over it? Great advice buddy. Keep your comments helpful or don't post at all.
Carebear, been there myself, its so horrible and i never want to go through it again either. Just remember time is your friend 0 -
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/hug + a bump for Miss C Bearmarshmallow wrote: »snap, got dumped today too
been crying for a few hrs now, my head f*cking hurts!
I'm actually surprised how much "dumping" is going on just after Christmas. I usually see alot fo couples getting together at and just after X-Mas, although Suppose you don't hear the success stories here0 -
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Clare,
Hope you're not having too ****ty a night tonight. A few little things I might add to the obvious.
Firstly, it is possible to remain friends, many people do it and many people don't. While it seems worthwhile now, however, remaining friends may not have that much worth in future. When you've shared the emotional, physical, and other highs love brings with it, amicable friendship can become boring with that same person. No possibilities. It's kinda nice, but no more. Low on the list of concerns, I'd say. He sounds like a nice guy so can't see you guys cutting contact just like that.
One thing you said really caught my attention:
"It's odd, but I was with someone for 3 and a half years and for some reason after only knowing this guy for 6 months this has hit me harder....maybe because I feel that it never really got a chance and even though it was kind of coming recently, it was still a shock."
I doubt this hit you harder because this guy means more to you than the 3 1/2 year guy. It's an impossible and pointless thing to measure anyway, I'm sure you were equally wrapped into the 3 1/2 year guy when you were with him. The above leads me to believe you probably give a whole lot to your relationships, nuturing them and cherishing more than your average Joe or Josephine might, which can be quite a draining way to be. This has probably hit you harder than the 3 1/2 year thing because it took a lot of energy for you to embark on another relationship in the first place. The fact that it hasn't gone anywhere is.... well, draining. And it never feels good. The good thing is, obviously there are lots of people out there who give as much to relationships as you do, I just think you need to meet someone with the same capacity for giving of themselves and the same ideas for a relationship as you. I could be 100 miles from where you're at with this bit, disregard if so. Just trying to help!
If it was "kind of coming recently", within 6 months, it most certainly was not meant to be the defining relationship of your life. Remember that! It never really got a chance because all the elements weren't there.
The only time I've corresponded with you before was in an old post regarding the place where, I think, you're living. I'm here a good few years and have made a lot of friends, but it's still a bit more isolated than what I'm used to and I still gets nights where I've **** all to do - I've lots of friends elsewhere or in couples, so it happens. What I'll say is, there's a great social scene here, but it's no place to be depressed, especially in "lots of fun January". Moving somewhere where there's lots going on might help kickstart a new phase and is certainly an idea, but it might cost a few bob too. Unless it's Bangkok
We all go thru what you're going through or similar, it's one of life's great piles of ****e. Stick on some great music that doesn't remind you of him, and treat yourself to every little thing you can to get your mind off it. And get outdoors with ur mp3 player switched up too loud.
Good luck.0 -
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Ok I'm going to meet my fellow heartbroken soldier from here, we're heading out for some retail therapy and food and to stalk hot boys
I am not staying in feeling sorry for myself, if anything I need to at least pretend to be happy. No more crying! I've banned it!0 -
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