Love this phrase

Jay P

It's like the kettle callin' the pot black.


Classic, I always laugh when I hear it. Anyone else?

dlambirl

"You're as awkward as a pig in reverse"

smilingeyerish

it all went pear shaped

csm

the wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

mc nuggets

I will in me arse brilliant

Faith

dlambirl wrote: »

"You're as awkward as a pig in reverse"

Haha, I've never heard that before! It genuinely made me laugh out loud. I'm going to use it from now on!

longshanks

like a wizards sleeve

Jigsaw

On watching a footballer miss an easy chance

"He couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo"

On something that is very obvious

"It's as clear as the balls on a dog"

On a woman who is sexually prolific

"She has a fanny like a clown's pocket"

pretty-in-pink

If you fall off that wall, and break both your legs, don't come runnng to me

Rb

Jay P wrote: »

I always laugh when I hear it. Anyone else?

Nope.

2stageturbo

Mad as a bag of hammers.

WTF ?

pd101

Wake up dead

Latchy

He /she '' would go to the opening of an envelope ''

mox54

sure you wouldn't do that backwards up a hill

marcsignal

About as inconspicious, as a turd in a glacier

As useless as tits on a bull

Deaf as a post

About as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit

Pherekydes

Wojus bleedin' thread.

Fanny Wank

yer wan's rough as a sack of lego

uberwolf

Jay P wrote: »

It's like the kettle callin' the pot black.

it's like watching two kitchen implements having a pigment related argument.


laboured, but I enjoyed it.

Mr Lahey

I left her face like a painters radio.:eek:

Proxy

"There's more life in a bottle'a sh!te"

"If it was any more right it'd be wrong"

(When you're tired) "Lads, i'm cabbaged" - or - "f!cked like a saucepan"

Pj!

If there was work in bed he'd sleep on the floor...

ivanthehunter

IF -- if your aunt had ball she'd be you uncle

ivanthehunter

Go lick the sweat from the back of me sac

delta_bravo

Fair balls to ya.
Like wtf?

_blank_

I'd ate the arse of a low flying child through the bars of a cot.

You're some gowl.

Dyr

stop the bus

or

hold the phones

scruff321

ya have a face like a pair of saggy tits

monkeyfudge

Captain Cabinets, trapped in cabinets - Will he get out? Can he get out? 'Course he can! Captain Cabinets!

GBX

"that lads about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike"

"the tide wouldnt take you out"

Senna

'mad as cats pi$$'
'rough as a camels arse in a sand storm'
'face like a slapped arse'

enda_4

"stall the digger"

"she'll be the may west"

"spotty dog"

Gordon

Mad as a box of frogs.

bringitdown

S/he looks like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle ...

Dont be at yourself

I left her face like a painters radio.

That's fantastic!

I'm so hungry... I could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate.

Steven

Jay P wrote: »

It's like the kettle callin' the pot black.


Classic, I always laugh when I hear it. Anyone else?

It's the other way around; Pots are typically blacker than kettles, hence the hypocrisy.

tman

2stageturbo wrote: »

Mad as a bag of hammers.

WTF ?

Should be "mad as a bag of cats", as hammers aren't renowned for being all that mad... not even if you have a bag full of them.
"Face like a bag of hammers" could be what you were aiming for

/edit
hehe, this reminded me of the guy from Boondock Saints; "Make like a tree and **** off!"

kincsem

To reflect our lowly position
"we're only in the arse of the garden"
It doesn't make sense, but I like it.

Wossack

tman wrote: »

Should be "mad as a bag of cats", as hammers aren't renowned for being all that mad... not even if you have a bag full of them.
"Face like a bag of hammers" could be what you were aiming for

/edit
hehe, this reminded me of the guy from Boondock Saints; "Make like a tree and **** off!"

think its 'as dumb as a bag of hammers'

tbh

After a meal: "I'm as full as a fat man's bath"

DO0GLE

A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Fratton Fred

She had a body like a bag of walnuts

Shaking like a ****eing dog

All the speed of a diesel driven doughnut

cjt156

enda_4 wrote: »

"she'll be the may west"

Mae West.

Once had the following conversation;

How's the Roger Melly?
Not the Mae West, may need to run to the Gary Glitter for a Barry White.

SUNGOD

a friend of mine once told me i was " pushing the gun " im still confused

Mossy Monk

dlambirl wrote: »

"You're as awkward as a pig in reverse"

Love it. Will be using that in future.

yom 1

Dont be there till your back

You've a face like lego - its in bits

and one I only heard on monday from one of the lads who was on the beer

I was absolutely googled out of it on saturday night

RadioCity

Referring to someone who consumes a lot of booze:
"He would drink piss out of a ****ty nappy"

Referring to someone who consumes a lot of food:
"He would eat ****e if you warmed it up for him"

Spittin' hedgehogs (angry)

He would get up on a cracked plate

He/She was goin' like a barn door on a windy night...

Kazu

hed drink it of out of cow ****

azezil

"If I'd a bag full of bruised mickeys I wouldn't give her one"

tbh

that fella's so unlucky, if he fell into a barrell of tits, he'd come out sucking his thumb.

Fratton Fred

"Touching Cloth"

jor el

Jay P wrote: »

It's like the kettle callin' the pot black.

Has nobody noticed this is backwards? It should be the pot calling the kettle black.

Anyway, my favorite would be

Sweating like a priest in a primary school. It's wrong on so many levels.