Do you perform oral sex

LegacyUser

Ive always thought it completly normal to give and recieve oral sex as part of normal forplay. I havent been with a girl who thought differently since i was in my teens. However my present girlfriend (with her since july) finds the idea of giving or even receiving it disgusting. I wouldnt ever pressure someone into doing something they dont want to but as i really like this girl should i be prepared not to enjoy it again or is there hope shell change her mind in the future. im 26 and shes 24. So how many people dont like to give or receive it and more to the point how many changed their mind on the issue at a similar age to her?

milod

Yes it's completely normal. However, some people, for all sorts of reasons, don't agree. Those reasons are usually things like god delusions, OCDs around cleanliness, and a general lack of imagination. I'm not saying dump her just because she won't do oral, but it's generally a bad sign...

LegacyUser

i say dump her...ya cant go out with a bird who doesnt give head...nuh uh..BIG NO NO!

Pigletlover

Has she had some sort of experience in the past that has put her off? While you should never force someone into doing something they're not comfortable with, maybe you should suggest it to her some night after a couple of drinks(not too many though in case she feels you're taking advantage), she might be a bit more relaxed and willing to give it a go. You may have already tried this but offer to go down on her just to see if she likes it, tell her if she doesn't all she has to do is say and you'll stop. With an open mind she'll probably actually find that she enjoys it, and if so then I'm sure she'll want you to too

PeakOutput

i knew girls who would give but not receive who would recieve but not give and who would do neither it takes all sorts.

my last girlfriend just seemed to find cocks really unattractive and while she would do it every now and again knowing she wasnt into it made it kinda pointless for me. she never liked recieving either but iv a feeling this is because she thought it would be expected of her to give after/during which wouldnt of been the case.

i defo would not dump her over it but it is one thing on the list of things that might add up to breaking up.

MagicMarker

milod wrote: »

Yes it's completely normal. However, some people, for all sorts of reasons, don't agree. Those reasons are usually things like god delusions, OCDs around cleanliness, and a general lack of imagination. I'm not saying dump her just because she won't do oral, but it's generally a bad sign...

WTF are shíting on about?

OP, it's perfectly normal for someone to find it unattractive, just like it's normal for someone to find it a huge turn on!! If she doesn't want or like it, then you need to decide now if she's worth the sacrifice.

estebancambias

Some sack of worthless flesh...what is the turn on?

It is perfectly normal to find something like that disgusting. Does it have a personality? Does it look good? Answer no. A face looks good.

Oral is more to do with wanting to pleasure your partner than liking to suck cock or lick pussy.
Its a very intimate act, I'd suggest to the OP's girlfriend to think about what it does for him than whether or not his penis is attractive/clean enough to put in her mouth. Its sounds immature IMO.

estebancambias

I find it immature that someone would want to suck someones penis. Seriously it really comes across as taboo.

PeakOutput

coolsmileygirl wrote: »

Its sounds immature IMO.

so you would put this in your mouth no problem?

NSFW
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Smegma_Penis02.jpg
NSFW

of course it has to do with cleanliness etc and it is immature to think it dosnt. my ex even said to me once she would consider going to a psychiatrist/psychologist if she thought it would get her over her issue with it as she wanted to please me. some people just have a mental block about it and no amount of guilt tripping by saying "well think about me and how it will make me feel" will work.

as i said already if i didnt think the girl was enjoying what they were doing i wouldnt let it happen regardless of how much i enjoyed it. and yes i have been with girls who ****in loved giving head and yes it was amazing but it does not a relationship make either

boardinwork

My ex never once (in 3 years) let me go down on her. It did my head in but i still got head so wasnt too bad. Think she was just paranoid of smelling or something? Id be the type of person to brush my teeth in the morning right before id kiss whoever is beside me and wouldnt touch them until im minty fresh. I really find the smell of bad breath a turn off. Maybe your gf thinks if she smells you'll be less attracted to her and vice-versa? Go take a bath together

PeakOutput

I do see where your coming from but I do somehow think the OP's girlf doesn't have an issue about his knob cheese and just the act of oral in general:D

Immature of you to bring that kind of immagery into this tbh as well, A certain level of basic cleanliness was meant to be implied.

PeakOutput wrote: »

so you would put this in your mouth no problem?

NSFW
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Smegma_Penis02.jpg
NSFW

of course it has to do with cleanliness etc and it is immature to think it dosnt. my ex even said to me once she would consider going to a psychiatrist/psychologist if she thought it would get her over her issue with it as she wanted to please me. some people just have a mental block about it and no amount of guilt tripping by saying "well think about me and how it will make me feel" will work.

as i said already if i didnt think the girl was enjoying what they were doing i wouldnt let it happen regardless of how much i enjoyed it. and yes i have been with girls who ****in loved giving head and yes it was amazing but it does not a relationship make either

boardinwork

Will everyone stop calling each other immature. Its so childish

True

Lux23

I was with one bloke when I was 22 who wouldn't go down on a girl and he was a right selfish prat. I always thinks its a bad sign.

Zzippy

estebancambias wrote: »

I find it immature that someone would want to suck someones penis. Seriously it really comes across as taboo.

Are you still here? :rolleyes:

To OP: yes some people have a thing about oral sex and can't/wont do it. I've always felt it was a normal part of lovemaking with a partner, and don't think I could stay with someone who didn't feel the same - the sex wouldn't be half as fulfilling. And of course - if you don't give, you don't deserve to receive. Its a two-way thing!

boardinwork

Oral sex is class!

monkeyfudge

A girl I was in a relationship with for some time was very self conscious when it came to oral sex and she'd never let me go down on her... it was pretty fustrating all right... but I have been with other girls who are the same. So it is fairly common.

finkaboutit555

estebancambias wrote: »

Some sack of worthless flesh...what is the turn on?

It is perfectly normal to find something like that disgusting. Does it have a personality? Does it look good? Answer no. A face looks good.

It might not have personality.... But it does have a mind of it own from time to time!!!!

boardinwork

I dont think my man is disgusting and i dont think girls front bums are either! :rolleyes:

boardinwork

My man - as in my pecker

LegacyUser

its not a hygiene problem and ive tried taking a bath together while both being merry. She just thinks its disgusting. I dont love going down on a girl but i do love to turn them on so in a way i enjoy it but shes against that too even if shes plastered. Has anyone been like that and then changed their mind. I dont bring it up much as while its something i miss i think shes great otherwise and i wouldnt like to come accross like i was pressuring her. its not a deal breaker but still, if theres anyone who had their mind changed id love to know how.

JuliusCaesar

boardinwork wrote: »

front bums

no wonder people don't want to lick it!

Wibbs

Actually I certainly think a woman's genitals look really beautiful and are a major turn on. I know a lot of women feel the same about men's. Maybe not beautiful, but certainly a turn on.

If I'm honest I would have a problem with a partner who wasn't as sexual as me and into oral, giving and receiving. Been there and it was one of the reasons for the split in that particular relationship. Sexual imbalance even if everything else is good, is a major strain, at least for me and I can only speak for myself.

I think you have to talk about this with her. If she's not comfortable with it in the end, there's little you can do but live with it. That's good if you can, but it may get frustrating for you. Some people, men and women are just not as sexual as others. Sometimes you only find that out down the line too. Hard one. Your girlfriend may meet a guy down the road who is similar to her, I know my ex did. Or they meet someone who brings out that latent sexuality in them. That can happen too. A lot of men talk a good talk, but there are enough out there that aren't that sexual especially after the initial lust buzz has worn off. As I say it's a difficult situation for you.

Ickle Magoo

I guess it's the age old adage that one man's normal is another man's weird & another man's boring. We all get turned on & off my different things, some are shared by a lot of people, some by less but we all have the right to refuse to participate in any act that makes us feel uncomfortable or we find disgusting.

I do think it's worth exploring her rationale, tho. There are lots of sexual taboos out there, especially if someones parents and/or upbringing was particularly conservative. She could have had a bad experience or it could be a phobia...

If she is adamant she won't partake, you have to decide what you like more, the oral or your girl. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

My boyfriend has never gone down on me. I've given him oral a few times, its really not something I enjoy giving but I wanted to please him so I gave it a go. But when he never did the same in return I stopped. I'm not saying I gave just to receive but there has to be some give and take.

I did talk to him about it and in his previous relationship he only went down on his gf once and didn't like it, so he never did it again. Yet he received it for all this time, and its as if he expects it of me.

OP its definitely something that needs to be addressed. You're right in not pressuring her but I dont know what you can do to change her mind, aside from baths/showers beforehand. Maybe she'll become more curious in time but who knows. You'll just have to decide how important this issue is, and if you love her enough to go without.

Victor

OK folks, cop on or I'll start banning.

monkeyfudge

Unreggie1 wrote: »

I did talk to him about it and in his previous relationship he only went down on his gf once and didn't like it, so he never did it again.

I've always found there to be a big difference in taste between women... Some women just don't taste that great at all... he really should give you a go to see what he thinks.

star-pants

Victor wrote: »

OK folks, cop on or I'll start banning.

Thank you!
I think all this talk of 'dump her' 'she's immature' etc is awful. I was going to go unreg as I tend not to discuss personal issues of this nature, but after some of the responses I said feck it.

Right, me personally, thought the idea was most gross, both giving and receiving.. I just.. I can't explain it, it just never appealed to me. Wanting to put something that someone went to the toilet with in my mouth ... not on the top of my list.(Aware this sounds childish but I'm still learning about physical relationships, as might the OPs gf)
I got asked, and I politely refused, explaining I wasn't comfortable with it. I felt awful saying no, but I won't be forced into doing anything I'm not comfy with. I've not received as I politely declined this also, partially because I felt it unfair as I would not be returning the favour.

However, I was with a great guy (another boyfriend), he asked, I explained, he understood. He did hint at times and at one point I thought "what the hey, I'll try it, if I don't like it, at least he can see I've tried". so I did... and I didn't like it, but he did. So as with relationships, you sometimes compromise. Not saying I enjoy it, but I don't dislike it as much as I used to.

Don't pressure her, she may come around to the idea, like I did. You could hint at it maybe. If I had been pressured I would have point blank refused. It doesn't make her a bad person, it's new territory to her and believe me there's a lot of pressure when it's your first (or subsequent) time, there's no manual and the last thing you want to do is disappoint the person you care about.

sillymoo2007

Quote:
Originally Posted by boardinwork
front bums


no wonder some men cant find it ......:D:p;)

gcgirl

I love oral sex! i think we just have a taboo when it comes to it ! feeling a guy go from soft to hard in your mouth is a major turn on! as for receiving i love it if theres one thing my ex did right he could make me cum in a minuite!

estebancambias

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

You cannot be serious!!!!!

Le Rack

Oral is fantasic, I love teh cock and love giving head, cuz, well any guy I've been with loves head, so I love seeing how much he's enjoying what I'm doing, only once or twice have I enjoyed getting it. Granted a couple of years ago my opinions were all very different, first time I went down on a guy I hated it, didn't think he liked it, didn't think I was any good, but it got better! Before that I was slightly oppossed to it, just didn't find it all that appealing at all. Getting head I was always self conscious about, no matter how clean I may have been I always felt like, he's putting his mouth THERE, euw! But apparently a lot of men enjoy the tastes and smells of a woman! :rolleyes:

The whole hygeine matter, frankly you can usually tell when you're within inches of it, and it can be avoided so to speak...

OP just give your gf time, and no matter how much you enjoy it, if you like her enough you'll go without it, and vice versa, if she likes you enough she'll want to do what makes you happy, what you enjoy so she'll do it when she's ready and comfortable to. If however it ends up being the sort of thing that could put a strain on your relationship, then some thinking and talking should prob be done...:(

LegacyUser

ask her why she doesn't like it and see if its an issue she'll ever be able to over come
it might be an ocd issue (cleanliness), she might of had a bad experience of cheesey cock, maybe your cock is cheesey, maybe you have one of them smells you just cant smell off yourself,
have you ever made her cum?
try sticking your fingers in her mouth as you're penetrating her like a cock, does she dig it?
or hell shes just not that into you

the dee

I used to be really self conscious about letting men down there. I was worried I'd smell bad, or taste bad or whatever. I think my first boyfriend said it tasted bad once, maybe that put me off.

I'm 23 now, met my current boyfriend a year ago and trusted him instantly. He genuinely wants to please me so I'm perfectly comfortable with it now. Never had a problem with giving, only receiving.

milod

Well it looks like a smallish percentage of people have hangups about oral sex, while most others don't fall for this supposed 'taboo' that one poster mentions.

OP, assuming that you've catered for all the usual barriers to oral sex, hygiene issues, the icky mess, embarrassment, etc, if she still refuses then only you can decide if you can do without one of the more enjoyable aspects of intimacy.

I still maintain it's a bad sign for the future - personally I found the anti-oral posters in this thread a little scary and would recommend psychosexual therapy. It's amazing how words like gross, toilet, immature, worthless flesh, and so on creep into what should be a normal healthy intimate sexual act...

These descriptions from posters who plead that an abhorrence of oral sex is normal, are a little too strident, and reveal more about their hang-ups than they realise IMHO

Thundercracker

Oral Sex is always great fun

Star Lord

milod wrote: »

These descriptions from posters who plead that an abhorrence of oral sex is normal, are a little too strident, and reveal more about their hang-ups than they realise IMHO

Seconded.


But also, people who do have issues with giving/receiving should not be pressured in any way.

I know I was scared going down on a lady for the first time, but the reactions that it elicited and how good I was able to make them feel spurred me on and I love to do it now!

gandalf

star-pants wrote: »

Thank you!
I think all this talk of 'dump her' 'she's immature' etc is awful. I was going to go unreg as I tend not to discuss personal issues of this nature, but after some of the responses I said feck it.

Agreed I think its disgraceful as well.

Sex is about two adults consenting trying to give each other pleasure. Its not about forcing people to do things they don't want to so you can tick a list. Personally I have no issues in showing the woman I am with how I feel about her anyway possible. I will not do anything she doesn't like and I would not expect her to do anything she finds distasteful.

Wibbs

gandalf wrote: »

I will not do anything she doesn't like and I would not expect her to do anything she finds distasteful.

I agree with that sentiment, but down the line it can become very frustrating if two people are mismatched in the bedroom. It's like any mismatch, sure it can be overcome or ignored for a while, but sooner or later if there aren't changes in both sides then it can be a very big issue in practical terms.

~Rebel~

Personally I thoroughly enjoy giving and receiving oral. Find when done well, it can pleasure her much more then sex.

For 2 people who are in a relationship and really like/love each other, I would find it very strange that they wouldn't want to kiss and touch every part of their partner's body, especially when they know the pleasure it can cause them. Some of the best things about sex and playing is the total closeness, trust and genuinely wanting to please the other person. Something like this, for me, would feel like a barrier to being totally 'together' and comfortable.

Obviously this would change in the issue of one party being particularly unhygienic or something, but thats clearly not the case for the OP.

LegacyUser

I love, love, love giving my boyfriend oral, he loves giving me oral, we kiss loads after, sometimes in the middle of it. He has no problem with me kissing him after giving him head and I don't mind him kissing me either, I even suck his fingers after he's been fingering me....it's brilliant and such a turn on!!!!

Le Rack

Oral Queen wrote: »

I love, love, love giving my boyfriend oral, he loves giving me oral, we kiss loads after, sometimes in the middle of it. He has no problem with me kissing him after giving him head and I don't mind him kissing me either, I even suck his fingers after he's been fingering me....it's brilliant and such a turn on!!!!

what she said

But to whoever said to stick your fingers in her mouth while penetrating her, eh, no

NEVER EVER stick anything in a chicks mouth if you wanna keep it! Had a guy once who just got on and stuck his cock in my mouth, A. major choke hazard right there, and it'll turn ye right off.

If you wanna go from that angle, caress around her ,outh and lips first, then she'll likely start to kiss and inevitably suck your fingers, IF she's into it, which generally leads to head, but if she's not even into licking your fingers she's def not into licking your lad

estebancambias

Le Rack wrote: »

Oral is fantasic, I love teh cock and love giving head, cuz, well any guy I've been with loves head, so I love seeing how much he's enjoying what I'm doing, only once or twice have I enjoyed getting it. Granted a couple of years ago my opinions were all very different, first time I went down on a guy I hated it, didn't think he liked it, didn't think I was any good, but it got better! Before that I was slightly oppossed to it, just didn't find it all that appealing at all. Getting head I was always self conscious about, no matter how clean I may have been I always felt like, he's putting his mouth THERE, euw! But apparently a lot of men enjoy the tastes and smells of a woman! :rolleyes:

The whole hygeine matter, frankly you can usually tell when you're within inches of it, and it can be avoided so to speak...

OP just give your gf time, and no matter how much you enjoy it, if you like her enough you'll go without it, and vice versa, if she likes you enough she'll want to do what makes you happy, what you enjoy so she'll do it when she's ready and comfortable to. If however it ends up being the sort of thing that could put a strain on your relationship, then some thinking and talking should prob be done...:(

Oh my God, that is vile. I nearly got sick at the end of the first paragraph.

I think giving a blowjob should vanquish any sort of dignity a person has. Think about it please. Just use common sense. I would have to look at the mental state of someone who deems it a 'turn on' touching another persons area.

the dee

estebancambias wrote: »

Oh my God, that is vile. I nearly got sick at the end of the first paragraph.

I think giving a blowjob should vanquish any sort of dignity a person has. Think about it please. Just use common sense. I would have to look at the mental state of someone who deems it a 'turn on' touching another persons area.

So it's not a turn on to touch your partner? How do you have sex then? Or is that disgusting too?

Le Rack

he doesn't have sex. religious wee boy here. give him time.

look este, since you claim you've never done any of this stuff and never will till you're married I really don't think you get to say what is and isnt' vile. don't pass judgement until you have the experience enough to pass it.

Andy-Pandy

Oral sex is my favourite part of sex, whats the point of being naked in bed with someone if ya cant lick them and suck them and touch them in the way you want. As someone else said, id find it very hard to stay in a relationship if we were that incompatable in bed.

estebancambias

So by your logic you are telling me to try out drugs in order to judge if it is good or not?

Same with cigarettes or alcohol. Oh and I don't believe this stuff because of my religion, it is my natural instinct.

estebancambias

Andy-Pandy you obviously have no respect for your partner. Love is not physical, it is simply a deep feeling of joy. Just being with the one you love should be enough.

the dee

Ah I see. I have no problem with someone objecting to pre-marital sex on religious grounds, or any grounds, but surely sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing when you feel it's right, an expression of love and entirely natural?

Andy-Pandy

estebancambias wrote: »

So by your logic you are telling me to try out drugs in order to judge if it is good or not?.

Wouldnt tell you to do them, but i would find it hard to take you seriously if you were talking about something you had no experience in or off.