Where are all the attractive single guys in their 30ies?

shabaz

Jesus I feel so down, recently broken up with bf well its 4 months this week.
I spent the whole day on my own yesterday Sunday, I could have gone to family, but i even couldnt be bothered to do that. So spent the whole day alone depressed thinking of whats the point and how lonely i am, and am i ever going to meet someone, is this going to be it for me, and I dont know if i can do it for too long...the lonelyness, the sadness, i am keeping myself busy during the week its them Sundays when everyone else are with their husbands/boyfriends an i am alone. I really dont feel optimistic for my future, I am a good looking girl with good sense of humour but when i see all the other good looking girls and they are still single and im thinking we are all just going to be on our own, why I dont know, where are all the attrative men who also have just broken up...all i can find is the 25-27yr olds, which is nice but not going to have a relationship with them, im in my 30ies but look alot younger...am very doubtfull for the future...finding happiness.

MayMay

Online dating Shabaz, seriously, there's some good ones out there.

smashey

Cheer up. I was 35 when I met my now wife.

Lux23

Married. Although I did meet a guy the other night who was 37, he was handsome, nice body, great job who was single. Although he seemed more interest in girls of my age. Maybe try internet dating, there seems to be more older men doing that.

ShawnRaven

First off, don't try so hard. If you reek of desperation you'll be a walking target to be taken for a ride straight away.

And secondly, you're only in your 30s, not 50s! So you're nowhere near running out of time. Hook up with some friends, head out on some nights out and let the rest run it's course. Seriously.

VR!

biko

Try online dating as suggested above

King of Kings

shabaz - i'm here actually.

CraggyIslander

I'd be one of those 30something single guys Am usually very happy in my own skin, but its the time of year that brings anyone down a bit (even me)..... the short dark and cold days, not to mention that xmus lark

I'd second the online dating thing and can recommend plentyoffish.com (its free) Had me some cracking dates from there (plus a few nightmare ones :eek:)

Vorsprung

Speed dating or Online Dating!

Magic Pips

shabaz wrote: »

all i can find is the 25-27yr olds, which is nice but not going to have a relationship with them...am very doubtfull for the future...

Why discount these people? purely because of age? You are doing both them and yourself a diservice

Saruman

Have heard Tag rugby is the way to go
I spent years being single, married now for the last few years.. so i will not be single in my 30's. I would say by their 30's, the majority of men are settled down and either married, or in long term relationships.
So you need to find the minority who are in between Good luck in your search.

Sephiroth_dude

im right here baby ;-)

wildgazelle

im, here and waiting,38 single,good looking:)

ShawnRaven

I can see this getting locked quick sharp.
VR!

Clare Bear

Just goes to show that there's plenty out there though doesn't it! Relax Shabaz, there's plenty of single men in their 30's out there, go out and have fun, your time will come and for now just enjoy yourself. Chill

gurramok

Too right Clare Bear. I have 3 bloke mates, all in early 30's and are single.

Plenty of fish in the sea for a single woman to find!

How Strange

Clare Bear.... Just goes to show that there's plenty out there though doesn't it! Relax Shabaz, there's plenty of single men in their 30's out there, go out and have fun, your time will come and for now just enjoy yourself. Chill

Clare Bear, I see from your post there is a reference to 81 so I'm assuming that is your dob so you are 26. When you get past 30, find yourself single with most men of that age gone off the social scene then you can tell yourself to chill, there's plenty out there. That is a bit too simplistic.

IMO, the OP is finding herself in a new and strange situation.

The fact is people in their 30's don't socialise like they did when in their 20's. I know I don't, I've slowed down a bit and started to take better care of myself and my body which I abused quite regularly with alcohol during my
20's. Of course there are men out there (probably a lot more than the OP thinks), alot may be coming out of relationships like the OP but you don't bump into them quite as easily as you did at 25.

OP, I read your posts before and after your breakup. It's an awful situation to find yourself in after a longterm relationship and I think most of us ladies in our 30's think 'there but for the grace of god etc etc'. I know if it were me in your situation I would be thinking exactly the same thing.

I'd say look into different options for socialising - there are lots of quirky and fun groups out there i.e. try a drumming group. Maybe thats not your scene but something along those lines. That way you are broadening your horizons and doing stuff that you wouldn't normally do.

Clare Bear

I'm just saying that she shouldn't sit in and be depressed, that's not going to do her any help. She should get out there and enjoy life and like you say, try new things. I completely sympathise with her and her situation, she sounds very lonely but I think this thread points out that there's many single men out there in their 30's and she's not alone in her situation.

padser

To be honest your problem really is that attractive single guys in their 20's tend to end up not single in their 30's. And unattractive guys in their 20's are kinda unlikely to turn into attractive guys when they hit 30.

Thus, as has already been said, you are looking for the minority. (Alternitively of course you could comprimise on either the 'Singleness' 'Attractiveness' or '30'ness)

Gemini Sister

padser wrote: »

To be honest your problem really is that attractive single guys in their 20's tend to end up not single in their 30's. And unattractive guys in their 20's are kinda unlikely to turn into attractive guys when they hit 30.

Thus, as has already been said, you are looking for the minority. (Alternitively of course you could comprimise on either the 'Singleness' 'Attractiveness' or '30'ness)

Yeah its an ever decreasing pool... or is it? This whole settling down business happens in waves. I know a few hot guys that were settled at 29 and let loose again at 34. I also know some men who didn't hit their stride til their thirties. I'd almost goes so far as to say the less attractive ones settle younger (glad of what they had)...

OP, yes there are fewer guys around but those that are have a massive freakout at 38 (the same kind we hit at 30). I know quite a few broody attractive single men in their late thirties. As someone else said, you just have to look harder to find them.

Personally I hated speed dating, but my friend met her fiancee there. Likewise, I find internet dating a waste of time (you can't tell if you've chemistry) but my other friend met her boyfriend there. I swear by gigs (guys are into music) or well chosen bars. Travelling also.

And keep an open mind. I wouldn't be posting here today if my 35yr old mother had turned her nose up at my 27yr old father.

Keep the faith

Wibbs

Gemini Sister wrote: »

Yeah its an ever decreasing pool... or is it? This whole settling down business happens in waves. I know a few hot guys that were settled at 29 and let loose again at 34. I also know some men who didn't hit their stride til their thirties. I'd almost goes so far as to say the less attractive ones settle younger (glad of what they had)...

Well speaking as a guy in his late 30's..... I know a few out there still single. Some serious mutants that it may be plain to understand why they're single, but there are one's who are good guys. Most have been through a least one big relationship that went south so they know what's what. They're also looking for a partner and they can have difficulty too. I will say it is easier to find women for a guy than the other way around though. There are less of us it seems. I do know more single women in their 30's than the other way around.

Again with some it's all too obvious why they are single, but with most it's not. I will say this and bear in mind it's only a small sample, but with women I've met in their 30's there are some that are very obvious in their near desperation to be in a relationship(not just in their 30's either). There's the feeling of "if this works I want to settle down quick". That will put many men off even if they want that too as they like to think they've some part in that decision process.

And keep an open mind. I wouldn't be posting here today if my 35yr old mother had turned her nose up at my 27yr old father.

Good point

Keep the faith

Even better point.

Wibbs

PS To give you some idea, I know a woman who got dumped on her 39 birthday(classy), by her partner of 5 years for a 25 year old clone of her. Big mess. I was really worried about her. I'm not the violent type, but I'm glad I never saw this guy at the time. Fast forward 3 years and she's met a guy that is a really great bloke. Gentleman is the best way to describe him and he loves her to a degree that is a pleasure to see. He asked her to marry him a week ago.

MayMay

Wibbs wrote: »

PS To give you some idea, I know a woman who got dumped on her 39 birthday(classy), by her partner of 5 years for a 25 year old clone of her. Big mess. I was really worried about her. I'm not the violent type, but I'm glad I never saw this guy at the time. Fast forward 3 years and she's met a guy that is a really great bloke. Gentleman is the best way to describe him and he loves her to a degree that is a pleasure to see. He asked her to marry him a week ago.

That's great!!:D

Nevyn

Boards.ie is not a dating site, any more posts by users pimping themselves will get themselves banned.

irelandsown

It gets harder the older you get. I'm a 30yr old single male but I find it very hard to meet anyone in pubs or nightclubs. In the pub, everyone is in their own little groups and in nightclubs i feel about 10 years older than everyone else and it is impossible to have a conversation. As suggested earlier, tag rugby has a great social side and I've also got involved with some volunteer work which is a good way of meeting people.

Been single for over a year now and I agree with the OP that Sundays are the hardest. Was dyin to go out for lunch yesterday but the thoughts of sitting there eating on my own, put me off.

Hang in there OP, apparently there is someone for everyone. :rolleyes:

I just wish she'd hurry up.

Nevyn

Well adverts.ie has a personal ad section I would suggest those singletons that are looking to start dating please use it.

Spoony2

shabaz wrote: »

Jesus I feel so down, recently broken up with bf well its 4 months this week.
I spent the whole day on my own yesterday Sunday, I could have gone to family, but i even couldnt be bothered to do that. So spent the whole day alone depressed thinking of whats the point and how lonely i am, and am i ever going to meet someone, is this going to be it for me, and I dont know if i can do it for too long...the lonelyness, the sadness, i am keeping myself busy during the week its them Sundays when everyone else are with their husbands/boyfriends an i am alone. I really dont feel optimistic for my future, I am a good looking girl with good sense of humour but when i see all the other good looking girls and they are still single and im thinking we are all just going to be on our own, why I dont know, where are all the attrative men who also have just broken up...all i can find is the 25-27yr olds, which is nice but not going to have a relationship with them, im in my 30ies but look alot younger...am very doubtfull for the future...finding happiness.

you could of gone to your famillys but you did'nt you should of done it would of kept your mind closed about the depresssing thoughts and kept you busy.

Try takeign up some new hobbie's....

and above all if your in your 30s why not date a younger man as far as I knwo majority of my mates only want older women so you ladys are in demand and the other thing is maybe you need to date some younger guys to get the essence of fun back into your life ......

I mean haveing a few date's with some younger guys will Ideally set you up for what you are lookign in a man and ya never know you might just find your ideal partner in an age group you dont take that serously.

irelandsown

Thaedydal wrote: »

Well adverts.ie has a personal ad section I would suggest those singletons that are looking to start dating please use it.

I wasn't placing an ad. Just giving an opinion.

LegacyUser

After a lot of heart break in my 20s I just gave up to be honest. I'm now in my mid-30s and its not that I'm not lonely from time to time - but well I was just never all the lucky in love - so just accepted it as being the way of things. Now its not that I wouldn't love to meet someone - and I know if I did my perspective on things would likely change, but as things stand its pretty heard to have that vision - definitely set in my ways now.

Been single a pretty long time now too - so out of touch I'd probably be a pretty awful date anyway. Best not to rock the boat really.

ergo

Interesting thread this one

my heart goes out to you OP, 4 months on is still very early days in a relationship break-up and those Sundays are tough too, I can remember it well from a tough break up I had quite a while back now. How long were ye going out anyway?

as regards the actual topic, I do think more and more people are trying to extend their 20's (and putting off settling down etc) until well into their 30's. There was an article about this in the Irish Times a few weeks back, can't find the link to it though. It is true though that our behaviour changes as we get older and opportunities to meet people become a little less unless you make a bigger effort

based on my own circle of friends (who are all 29 or just turning 30 around now) it would seem that at least half are completely not settled down at all. And that is both male and female! We all went through college, are professional intelligent people (and ranging from average (or above) looking to highly attractive, not a "mutant" in sight...!)

as Wibbs mentioned, I think at this point in our lives, well for me anyway, we've had one (or more) serious relationship that hasn't worked out and this makes me much less likely to go rushing into another one. In fact, am much more likely to call things off very early on 'cos at this stage I know what I'm looking for (or to be honest I know what I'm not looking for if you know what i mean). The message? well there are plenty of guys in their (early) 30's still waiting around for the right person/in denial about settling down (delete as appropriate!)

shabaz

Hi to all you sexy hot guys that replied to me...ha

Alot of good replies, but to the people who said go out there do things join new clubs and the like, yes i have done, am doing and will keep doing....and as for the going out, try keeping me in....dont have any problems there, so, it still kinda comes down to WHERE ARE BOYS, ARE YOU COMING OUT TO PLAY ha ha, as for those who said not to be put off by the age thing, been there, thats why im in this situation, younger man, with for 6yrs just couldnt handle the settling down thing, so, here i am. i have gone online, kinda afraid to put my pic on incase someone i know see's me, stupid i know, i will do it though.

Ah sure we'll see what happens....no doubt ill be posting again moaning of the same problem....

All the single good looking guys, lets get talking!!