Goodbye

DonJose

Last night I dreamt of lush green fields,
of apple trees dancing in the wind,
cotton clouds filled the open sky,
you smiled, a twinkle in your eye.

Today the fields are barren and bare,
the trees are naked, the fruits not there,
the skies turned grey, the clouds don't part,
your grave is fresh, you took my heart.

supertramp

I liked that a lot.

The description of it, it's simplicity and it's length. Very good

KIVES

Agree - a nice bit of poetry with some tangible feeling, unlike a lot of poetry today which is basically prose dressed up as eclectic verse...ie...'I saw a car, with engine splutter - And I coughing,like a wild man, in need of truce...blah,blah'...
'Goodbye' proves you don't need pretension - heart and brevity will do nicely

gillyfromlyre

Not bad don, loved the opening verse more than the 2nd simply because it was really pleasant, no frills or mystique but surreal at the same time

gillyfromlyre

KIVES wrote: »

Agree - a nice bit of poetry with some tangible feeling, unlike a lot of poetry today which is basically prose dressed up as eclectic verse...ie...'I saw a car, with engine splutter - And I coughing,like a wild man, in need of truce...blah,blah'...
'Goodbye' proves you don't need pretension - heart and brevity will do nicely

that car poem sounds rough, nearly made me bring up phlegm, doesnt sound the least bit healthy, from intonation and subject matter

joe_dunne

Very good, no messing about.

Almost as if you can't dwell on the subject matter for too long.

Joe