Scared

LegacyUser

I did a silly, stupid, childish thing without realising what consequences it might have; without realising how accurate i must have been, and how completely scared I am now.

Me and this girl are in the same flat. We're not dating or anything but I care about her alot.
Anywho, shes in her bed covers, Im sitting on her lap and her friends on the end of the bed and we're all chatting away. So we had been tickling eachother and all that.
But me and her friend had to go back to classes she said "get outta here so i can play with myself " so without giving it any thought I react to the statement by going to tickle her.... yeah.

Now, shes pissed at me. Dhe tried to kill me, and now she doesnt want to see me, and now shes gone and went back home for the rest of the week. She just said all men are the same, and youre no different.

I care for her, and while I didnt mean for it to turn out this way, it has. And now I dont know what to do with myself. I cant even focus on my work; I have to try and stop from shaking and leaking tears. And im absolutely scared.

I need help.

Mullah

Is there another meaning to the word tickle I don't get?

Can't see cause and effect at work here otherwise.

Fwaggle

Mullah wrote: »

Is there another meaning to the word tickle I don't get?

Can't see cause and effect at work here otherwise.

Yeah, WTF?!

LegacyUser

Yeah, I can't understand why tickling her one minute was okay but the not the next. Are u telling us the full story?

AngryBadger

If I'm understanding this at all, (and I'm not sure I am?) you "dropped the hand" to some degree?

I can understand her getting pissed off to some extent. But at the same time you were sitting in her lap and she made a sexual comment?

Seems to me like a classic example of blurring the lines in the whole male/female friend/more than friends thing.

You say you care about her a lot, does that mean you're attracted to her? If it does well dropping the hand was fairly stupid.

At the same time I've never understodd men/women trying to blur the lines like this, you're sitting in her lap and she announces she wants to play with herself, you're a guy, how did she think you'd respond?

I'd apoligse if you haven't done so, and then I'd leave it be.

Of course this is all assuming you did in fact drop the hand...

P.S> WHy are you SCARED exactly? It's not like she's going to give you cooties.

Miss Fluff

Tickle her where exactly?

event

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

so without giving it any thought I react to the statement by going to tickle her.... yeah.

im guessing that what he meant here is "tickle her down there"

*Page*

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

I Dhe tried to kill me,

how did she try to kill you?

LegacyUser

your assumptions about where she was tickled are correct.

look, its a longish story but the facts are lain out in the original post. We've kissed before but she made it clear she didnt want a relationship right now.

Im not trying to get at her for sex. Im a 20 year old virgin; and she isnt. Ive never been in a relationship and shes been in a handful. So far I've been fairly content taking things at a crawl: its not just a race to the finish - in fact the thought scares me because I feel entirely inadequate/inexperienced but thats a wholly different topic altogether. I hope this explains the blurring line between friends.

Im scared because im worried she might move out, and any friendship or affection we shared would be over. and Im scared that her view of me is going to be forever tainted by one 3 second lapse.

and the left hemisphere of my brain says: "well **** - shes twisted my balls a couple times" I didnt even gather the gravity of the situation until an hour later. Before that it was all still just friends playing around with friends.

LegacyUser

(she tried to kill me with a 7 inch throwing knife - and gave me 20 seconds to get outta there)

l3LoWnA

Firstly are you male/female?!?

Secondly, if you feel she deserves an apology then apologise. Don't be scared of this girl! She obviously acted like a complete prick-tease (if you're a lad!) Firstly, by letting you sit on her lap when she was under her bed-covers and THEN by saying she wanted to play with herself! Like come on!! I'm a single lady and if a friend of mine was on my bed tickling me and I decided to tell them I felt like playing with myself I would be half-heartedly hoping they'd help me along in some way!

You were not out of order (in my opinion) Although, how far did you take it?! When she reacted bad what did you do?!

Who does she thnk she is? What did she expect you to do? Grrrr if a girls horny and wants to say it out loud after a tickling session with a mate, let her expect someone to jump at the chance to help her out - it was almost an invitation - otherwise she should have kept her mouth shut instead of giving you the wrong idea!!!

[edit - sorry I've re-read - you ARE a guy!!! And the absolute CHEEK of her to say all men are the same - she's obviously such a prick-tease that she's only ever attracted w*nkers and then she does her slutty thing with you, who, on the other hand genuinely cares for her and she tars you with the same brush because of her own stupidity!! Try not to let her get to you, as I said, if you feel you should apologise then do but I think SHE should be the one apologising for giving YOU the wrong idea!!! If you didn't care so much she' be crawling back into your friendly arms!!! Believe me!!!]

Overheal

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

She just said all men are the same, and youre no different.

clearly a dude.

pretty-in-pink

I'm gonna ask, like the others above- what do you mean by tickling? If you tried something on, and she doesn't fancy you- then that would be why she is pissed.

She proabbaly just said it jokingly, not thinking her mate would react like that- chances are she would say it to a girl too.

What parts of the story are we missing? Why are you scared? Crying?

Overheal

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

I did a silly, stupid, childish thing without realising what consequences it might have; without realising how accurate i must have been, and how completely scared I am now.

Me and this girl are in the same flat. We're not dating or anything but I care about her alot.
Anywho, shes in her bed covers, Im sitting on her lap and her friends on the end of the bed and we're all chatting away. So we had been tickling eachother and all that.
But me and her friend had to go back to classes she said "get outta here so i can play with myself " so without giving it any thought I react to the statement by going to tickle her.... yeah.

Now, shes pissed at me. Dhe tried to kill me, and now she doesnt want to see me, and now shes gone and went back home for the rest of the week. She just said all men are the same, and youre no different.

I care for her, and while I didnt mean for it to turn out this way, it has. And now I dont know what to do with myself. I cant even focus on my work; I have to try and stop from shaking and leaking tears. And im absolutely scared.

I need help.

cmon, its fairly obvious whats gone on here. And its also fairly obvious she isnt taking it well, Pink. Its tuesday: she goes home for the rest of the week.... think about it. I might agree with you if it were at the weekend or something - but who disappears mid week if they arent upset?

sorry, OP, I cant think of any advice to give you: and i hope im making accurate assumptions at least.

l3LoWnA

pretty-in-pink wrote: »

What parts of the story are we missing? Why are you scared? Crying?

Yeah! I suppose I was jumping the gun putting all the blame on this girl! OP, what did you do to the girl for her to react so badly? Did you just "try" to "tickle" her or is there more to it? If it was as you said, and you just tried and she stopped you then I still stand by my original post!

Are you crying because what you've done is so bad or that you might lose her friendship?!

You didn't rape this girl so I dont see why you should be so scared!!

And how the hell did she try to kill you? Maybe her friend who was there is adding a little fuel to the fire - who knows.....girls can be so b*tchy!

pretty-in-pink

Overheal wrote: »

cmon, its fairly obvious whats gone on here. And its also fairly obvious she isnt taking it well, Pink. Its tuesday: she goes home for the rest of the week.... think about it. I might agree with you if it were at the weekend or something - but who disappears mid week if they arent upset?

sorry, OP, I cant think of any advice to give you: and i hope im making accurate assumptions at least.

We don't know what he did, we do know she was very upset over it. We also know he feels badly now. I picked that "...yeah" up as being, "yeah I'm an idiot" as opposed to refering to a body part.

How did she try to kill him? Figuratively? Literally? We need to OP to elaborate- clearly a lot of the story is missing

matt-dublin

i think when he says he went to tickle her again, i think he tried to tickle "somewhere else"? op we need more info!

*Page*

we need the op to reply.

pretty-in-pink

OP, having read your replies.....well, I just dunno. You were out of line, though hardly worthy of a kinife-throwing event. She over-reacted. Have you been in contact with her? There may be more going on behind the scenes then you know.

*Page*

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

(she tried to kill me with a 7 inch throwing knife - and gave me 20 seconds to get outta there)

you dont need that in your life op.


tell her your sorry but to get over herself. she gave you mixed signals you reacted badly. so call it quits

LegacyUser

I spoke with her before she left.

At first we spoke when i got back to college and we chatted online for a little bit. This is when she painted me with the same brush as any other guy, and its also when i reaffirmed my feelings for her. She told me it was pointless trying to talk to her because she was pissed off and was going home for a few days.

Then I saw her before she left. She seemed calm and just said shed be alright and shes just going home for a few days [again] and that she was gonna be pissed for a while. I could think of nothing else but to look her in the eyes (those wonderful eyes!) and reaffirm for her in the flesh i meant everything i said [online]. This was as she was going out the door.

She didnt really meet my eyes the same way we usually do and just said "I know. Ok, I have to go."

She looked like she had already made up her mind.

Seraphina

*Page* wrote: »

you dont need that in your life op.


tell her your sorry but to get over herself. she gave you mixed signals you reacted badly. so call it quits

mixed signals??? are you ****ing joking me???

i would consider that totally in your face come and get me signals! ffs

OP she's a prick tease. sitting on her lap, tickling, then telling you she's going to play with herself, and all men are the same??? of course any normal red blooded male is gonna react the same way when you say **** like that! what a moron.

its her problem for not being clearer about the non sexual nature of the relationship.

Nerin

sorry,but when he said she twisted my balls a few times...is it literal? lol
if so,then she shudnt have gone so nuts over it. ive mostly female friends n most of us are all touchy feely,when we get a ll drunk we end up doin silly thing s too,but we dont throw knives at eachother.

no to lay somethin out,how long have u known this girl,cuz maybe theres somethin in her past to make her act this way,i dont wanna say it outright.
but when i was with a irl a while back,we were friends,then hooked up,an and were uber close,but sometimes her "past" wud mess up our moments. maybe its the same with this girl. who knows.

i dont fully agree with her being a cocktease,i need more evidence for hat assumption,but ive friends who are like that, oh im horny,love some cock rite now hahaha etc etc (ive weird frends) and it is not an open invite.

Rb

Damage is done, just forget about her and move on in life.

Anyway, anyone who threatens you with a knife isn't your friend. She's clearly a nutcase that you should erase from your life.

StormWarrior

Sounds to me like the OP isn't telling the full story. Whatever you did, it must have been bad and uninvited for her to throw a knife at you, and for you to be so scared now. What really happened?

StormWarrior

And someone letting a mate tickle them and saying they are in the mood is not an invite., especially when she has told him to go away so she can "play with herself." Doesn't sound like an invite to me. Whatever you did was obviously bad enough for her to threaten you with a knife and then do a disappearing act.

magick

v blurry info here, But for whats its worth, it looks like u badly misunderstood what she was intending , but her reaction is just as bad.

I think maybe the 2 of ye should have a sit down and talk and try and be friends again, not worth runing something good over something so silly

Overheal

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

I spoke with her before she left.

At first we spoke when i got back to college and we chatted online for a little bit. This is when she painted me with the same brush as any other guy, and its also when i reaffirmed my feelings for her. She told me it was pointless trying to talk to her because she was pissed off and was going home for a few days.

Then I saw her before she left. She seemed calm and just said shed be alright and shes just going home for a few days [again] and that she was gonna be pissed for a while. I could think of nothing else but to look her in the eyes (those wonderful eyes!) and reaffirm for her in the flesh i meant everything i said [online]. This was as she was going out the door.

She didnt really meet my eyes the same way we usually do and just said "I know. Ok, I have to go."

She looked like she had already made up her mind.

.....well, ****. could you be reading her wrong cos youre worried? she probably feels a level of trust has been shattered.

this knife tho... if you didnt realise till later how bad she took it, in what way was she with the knife??

Bottle_of_Smoke

Please tell me she was wearing underwear at the very least?

l3LoWnA wrote: »

Firstly are you male/female?!?

Secondly, if you feel she deserves an apology then apologise. Don't be scared of this girl! She obviously acted like a complete prick-tease (if you're a lad!) Firstly, by letting you sit on her lap when she was under her bed-covers and THEN by saying she wanted to play with herself! Like come on!! I'm a single lady and if a friend of mine was on my bed tickling me and I decided to tell them I felt like playing with myself I would be half-heartedly hoping they'd help me along in some way!

You were not out of order (in my opinion) Although, how far did you take it?! When she reacted bad what did you do?!

Who does she thnk she is? What did she expect you to do? Grrrr if a girls horny and wants to say it out loud after a tickling session with a mate, let her expect someone to jump at the chance to help her out - it was almost an invitation - otherwise she should have kept her mouth shut instead of giving you the wrong idea!!!

[edit - sorry I've re-read - you ARE a guy!!! And the absolute CHEEK of her to say all men are the same - she's obviously such a prick-tease that she's only ever attracted w*nkers and then she does her slutty thing with you, who, on the other hand genuinely cares for her and she tars you with the same brush because of her own stupidity!! Try not to let her get to you, as I said, if you feel you should apologise then do but I think SHE should be the one apologising for giving YOU the wrong idea!!! If you didn't care so much she' be crawling back into your friendly arms!!! Believe me!!!]

Seraphina wrote:

mixed signals??? are you ****ing joking me???

i would consider that totally in your face come and get me signals! ffs

OP she's a prick tease. sitting on her lap, tickling, then telling you she's going to play with herself, and all men are the same??? of course any normal red blooded male is gonna react the same way when you say **** like that! what a moron.

its her problem for not being clearer about the non sexual nature of the relationship.

I'm a guy & I whole-heartedly disagree. You do not touch a girl down there when she makes a joke about playing with herself. I can't believe you think this is acceptable.

I think the OP knows this & fair play to him for spelling it out so honestly in the first post.

Prick-tease coments are also nonsense. Echoes a rapist justifying the act because she was wearing a short skirt. I'm comparing the argument made not the OP with a rapist.

STUPIDIDIOT wrote:

and the left hemisphere of my brain says: "well **** - shes twisted my balls a couple times" I didnt even gather the gravity of the situation until an hour later. Before that it was all still just friends playing around with friends.

It's different for girls. When I was in school girls went through phases of grabbing the guys asses/balls in a joking/flirting manner but it was very rarely reciprocated. The only way I can explain is imagine a gay man who's physically stronger than you feeling your crotch.

There's another aspect too, you did it in front of her friend. Might make her feel like she's coming across as slutty if she tolerates it. This could actually explain the reaction a lot.

You come across as a genuine/sensitive type & she possibly sees you as someone she can trust(and also just as a friend I'm afraid). Perhaps this is why she was so hurt.

I think you need to send her a text explaining how you realise how stupid it was of you, how you can understand how offended she was & that it was just a moment of madness that you're really upset about.

I genuinely believe you believe that too. If she still moves out she's being unreasonable. Needless to say you wait for her to make the first move in future. Regardless of how flirty she's being.

LegacyUser

Let me explain about the knife. When it happened she gave me till the count of 20 to leave the room while she was holding this knife - so I just considered it playful. I left anyway. But there was nothing in her behavior at the time [before the online conversation] that suggested how upset she really was.

It's different for girls. When I was in school girls went through phases of grabbing the guys asses/balls in a joking/flirting manner but it was very rarely reciprocated. The only way I can explain is imagine a gay man who's physically stronger than you feeling your crotch.

There's another aspect too, you did it in front of her friend. Might make her feel like she's coming across as slutty if she tolerates it. This could actually explain the reaction a lot.

You come across as a genuine/sensitive type & she possibly sees you as someone she can trust(and also just as a friend I'm afraid). Perhaps this is why she was so hurt.

I think you need to send her a text explaining how you realise how stupid it was of you, how you can understand how offended she was & that it was just a moment of madness that you're really upset about.

I genuinely believe you believe that too. If she still moves out she's being unreasonable. Needless to say you wait for her to make the first move in future. Regardless of how flirty she's being.

Thanks, Bottle. Thats the single most enlightening post yet.

Another thing too is, that the friend next to me is a long time friend of hers. While she never liked him at all, hes still a red blooded male too. so youre right it may have a lot to do with it. Theyre best friends.

Ive been in an exhausted sleep since the afternoon and I woke up thinking the exact same trust issue. Its made me physically ill: that she'll be unable to forgive me; that our bridges are going to burn.
But do I deserve any better? In 3 seconds, I managed to rip apart the line between friends; between even more than friends if it ever had been anything more than that.

I wouldnt consider it a moment of madness or of .... molest. None of it excuses the facts; but she was fully clothed and she was under her own blanket and quilt from the stomach up. I didnt reach around the covers! i just went obliquely straight there expecting her to flinch or do something - but no. Thats not an excuse. but its driving me to madness. How the **** could I have listened to that impulse that "oh, it's just yet another tickle attack". What really happened, was a Violation.

Would it really be so unreasonable of her to leave.

curiousxxx1

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

Would it really be so unreasonable of her to leave.

Yes it would be, guessing you have apologised to her by now. If she does leave then that's definitely OTT and also may be because she has feelings for you too... IMO i think that's the whole reason for her going home. She thinks she might like you and the situation is complicated!

Rb

Seriously, stop dragging it out any longer. It will never be the same again, just stop kidding yourself and move on, find another girl etc.

Don't stress yourself over it, just put the blame on her in your mind and don't contact her again.

MagicMarker

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

Let me explain about the knife. When it happened she gave me till the count of 20 to leave the room while she was holding this knife - so I just considered it playful. I left anyway. But there was nothing in her behavior at the time [before the online conversation] that suggested how upset she really was.



Thanks, Bottle. Thats the single most enlightening post yet.

Another thing too is, that the friend next to me is a long time friend of hers. While she never liked him at all, hes still a red blooded male too. so youre right it may have a lot to do with it. Theyre best friends.

Ive been in an exhausted sleep since the afternoon and I woke up thinking the exact same trust issue. Its made me physically ill: that she'll be unable to forgive me; that our bridges are going to burn.
But do I deserve any better? In 3 seconds, I managed to rip apart the line between friends; between even more than friends if it ever had been anything more than that.

I wouldnt consider it a moment of madness or of .... molest. None of it excuses the facts; but she was fully clothed and she was under her own blanket and quilt from the stomach up. I didnt reach around the covers! i just went obliquely straight there expecting her to flinch or do something - but no. Thats not an excuse. but its driving me to madness. How the **** could I have listened to that impulse that "oh, it's just yet another tickle attack". What really happened, was a Violation.

Would it really be so unreasonable of her to leave.

If what you say here is true, then she completely over reacted. You should grow a pair and tell her you were only messing and for her to cop the **** on. If it were me i would just explain it was a misunderstanding on my part and no harm was meant. For her to pull a knife on you is totally out of line.

Rb

curiousxxx1 wrote: »

Yes it would be, guessing you have apologised to her by now. If she does leave then that's definitely OTT and also may be because she has feelings for you too... IMO i think that's the whole reason for her going home. She thinks she might like you and the situation is complicated!

Come on now, don't give him hopes or ideas about it.

leninbenjamin

is she really worth all this anxiety?

the ball's in her court now anyway, seems like you've done as much as you can your end. if she comes around in the end, grand. if not not, well you've learned a lesson here but it's not worth getting overly stressed over.

sh*t happens, people make mistakes.

and to be perfectly honest... if the knife thing wasn't in jest i personally would be keeping well away from her and frankly wouldn't even be bothered if she never talked to me again. she doesn't sound like a stable person...

LegacyUser

Is it possible that this girl has some sort of history that nobody knows about, perhaps abused in the past? Maybe OPs sudden "tickling" brought back some memories....?

Overheal

oh shut up rb_ie.

Its not triage here: oh well that ones ****ed move onto the next one! seriously.

People are people. They arent fruit to be half eaten and tossed away. If you care about someone and youre afraid of losing them you know damn well youd be the first one in line with a peverbial defribilator.

theres not much more you can do for now, Idiot (my you gave yourself a nice name.. though you may well deserve it). She left; so no brainer: she needs as much space as she can get. dont go and chase her along with texts and emails. If anything she needs time to think and reflect. If shes any judge of character (and you yourself are of as good character as you make yourself out to be) then you should have nothing to worry about.

But you may well and truly have to prepare for the worst case. So in a way, this may be your very first breakup... its going to hurt. a lot. But I couldn't begin telling you how to prepare for that. You can't, really.

You've done what you can, and Im afraid the worst may be yet to come. Maybe the only preparing you can do right now is to go and clear your planner for the week: get all your **** outta the way - when she gets back theres a frighteningly healthy chance you'll end up hiding in your room with a bottle of whiskey and a borrowed throwing knife (if youre the emo type) for a couple of days. :-/

Beruthiel

Overheal wrote: »

oh shut up rb_ie.

I'll not be having that sort of talk in this forum thanks.
B

*Page*

Seraphina wrote: »

mixed signals??? are you ****ing joking me???

I wasnt there i cant say if it was full on in his face or if he took it that way. she could have been directing it to her other friend in the room at the time or maybe just ripping her friend.

i dont know. what i do know is that she said (a. he recated and she flipped. obvious that it was mixed up on someones side of things...


I dont want to jump to conclutions as i dont know both sides.


OP~

You seem very upset about this, i think you need to take a deep breath and think about it. She's probably more embarrassed than hurt. She might be feeling bad about how she reacted.

best thing to do is leave her alone, dont proclaim your feelings for her, calm down and let the water under the bridge.

when she gets back she might just want to forget about everything.

If she doesn want to move out let her, dont get all upset.

That could have been the last of a long list of things to happen to her and you got thr brunt.
But I do think you were out of line but then again I think she was too, i'm not one for telling two lads that are about to leave the room that i'm going to go play with myself so maybe i'm being harsh.


Anyway, just do your best to clam down before she gets back.

Seraphina

ok, obviously i wasn't there, but in my book, thats total come on behaviour.

but then i suppose most people are more naturally touchy feely and flirty than me, so i guess my opinion doesn't really count for much.

all i know is if that was me, i would not behave like that with a male friend unless i wanted it to be more than that.

she's obviously different, but she still over reacted. she'll calm down and probably forget about it if you apologise and promise it wont happen again. I'd say you should steer clearly of the playful tickling for a while tho.

Canis Lupus

I just wish the OP could clearly and consisely state the problem. As it is I'm not sure if tickling means playing chess or carving an ice sculpture with a toothpick. I hope english isn't your chosen subject in college.

Caryatnid

I don't really understand what the girl's problem is and why the OP is so upset.

From what I've read, I understand:

He was sitting on her lap, he was tickling her.
She told them to get out so she could masturbate.
He didn't, but tickled her between her legs although her clothes and duvet was between his hand and her. How can you tickle someone through a duvet?

OP are you sure this is not a huge overreaction on her part, and your part? Granted, you shouldn't've done it, but all these tears and so are are uncalled for.

Meanwhile the girl has made it clear she's not interested in you. You need to understand that and seperate your friend-feelings from fancying-feelings for her.

togster

Shes a drama queen. Get rid.

l3LoWnA

She's being a complete drama queen and you've already apologised so let her calm down and possibly then she'll realise how stupidly she's acted.

OP - STOP BEING UPSET about all of this!!!! You have done nothing wrong. Ok, so maybe you overstepped the mark a bit, but if you two are friends, all that should do is make things awkward for a few days!!! Come on!!! Why did she feel she had to go home?!? And what is the story with her throwing a KNIFE at you?!? Did you stay in her room for the whole 20 seconds as she counted after she'd told you to leave?!? FFS, maybe you'd be better off if she DID move out! She sounds very unstable!!! Are you so upset because of what you've done or is it really because you're worried you'll lose her!?

She decided to blurt out to TWO male friends, WHILE SHE WAS IN BED, AFTER one had just been tickling her that she wanted to play with herself (ie. "I'm horny") And then she flips the lid and f8cks off home and makes YOU feel like crrap because you gestured towards giving her a helping hand. She's your friend, she said she was horny and she had no problem in letting you sit on her lap and tickle her two seconds before?!? You are not wrong for believing it was an invitation, as I've said prevoiusly. I'm a girl, and I wouldn't say that to a lad IN my bedroom, who had just been tickling me, unless I was hoping for something more....Yet, you are accused or violating her!?!? I know you may feel you have OP, and she feels you have, but in all honesty, this has been blown WAYYYY out of proportion by both of you!!!

I think someone may have hit the nail on the head above, when they said that it may be all because of the other friend who was present.....she doesn't want him to think she'd put up with that!! YET....she thinks it's ok to tell you both to leave so she can play with herself!!!???!!!

Prick-tease!! And drama Queen!! You're better than that OP! Go and fnd yourself a real woman! You've done all you can OP, don't go crawling to her anymore now, live your life, try and forget about it all and she'll be back!

AngryBadger

Seraphina wrote: »

ok, obviously i wasn't there, but in my book, thats total come on behaviour.

+1

Carrigart Exile

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

(she tried to kill me with a 7 inch throwing knife - and gave me 20 seconds to get outta there)

Then hope she does indeed move out; that is completely uncalled for

Sleepy

What did you think was gonna happen when she was there with a friend? Spit roast her on the bed? Something tells me you've been watching too much porn...

She sees you as a friend, has made it clear to you already and while you're clearly mooning about after her she's getting more and more frustrated about it. Get any ideas of being with this girl out of your head and go get laid.

LegacyUser

Caryatnid wrote: »

I don't really understand what the girl's problem is and why the OP is so upset.

From what I've read, I understand:

He was sitting on her lap, he was tickling her.
She told them to get out so she could masturbate.
He didn't, but tickled her between her legs although her clothes and duvet was between his hand and her. How can you tickle someone through a duvet?

OP are you sure this is not a huge overreaction on her part, and your part? Granted, you shouldn't've done it, but all these tears and so are are uncalled for.

Meanwhile the girl has made it clear she's not interested in you. You need to understand that and seperate your friend-feelings from fancying-feelings for her.

You have the details the more correct of everyone here. Thats pretty much what happened.

What happened afterward (immediately afterward) was more playful than anything, though she did pend up quite a bit of frustration later about it. She just loves sharp things and keeps them around she would never hurt anyone with them; which is why I wasnt threatened by the reaction: I pretty much expected it

Anyway, yeah, she blew it out of proportion: started making it out like she wanted nothing more to do with me ever, etc etc and me being a n00b, who am I to know it could just be a spur reaction? So I just assumed it was genuine. I have feelings for the girl and yeah, I got a little blurry-eyed; but nothing completely daft - I just always jump to the worst possible assumption.

Anyway she was back at the house the next day - business as usual. We were both obviously aware that we needed to speak but for various reasons I didnt get a chance to have a 1 on 1 conversation with her until tonight.

She threw the whole thing out of proportion on her end because of the last couple months: since she broke up with her 2yr BF over the summer, she was almost immediately hit on by his best friend, later by me (mid-September), then by the other friend that was in the room at some stage or another (pretty aggressively it turns out in a story Im sworn never to repeat), and by her other friend in Dublin.
So yes: the girl has been in perpetual relationships for the last 7 years so she never really learned to cope with male attention...she got accustom to having a guy next to her to beat of the pervs with a stick. Basically, I was the last good friend she had that hadnt tried to abuse/harass her, and according to her* I'm the only one she had ever reciprocated anything to**.

*Yeah; I've seen enough PI threads to know thats trouble, logically speaking...but trust is only Human. As long as I've known her she'd been incredibly honest anyway. I know most people on boards here are lying theiving bastards so I dont expect you to understand theres people (like me) that get sick inside when we lie to people on the Big Things.

**Basically of all the guys to hit on her, I was the one she really didnt know at all. We hit it off in the pub one night - crazy makeout results. Next day we have the 'i need to be single talk' but still spent the night together on a PG rated makeout slumber party funtime. That was the last time I got any real kissage. A couple weeks after that she moved out of her slumhole and rented a seperate room at mine.

So we talked that all out then. She could be a long time deciding what she wants and somehow I doubt that'll be me. She's the comfortable sort around guys (y'know the hugs the platonic cheek kisses and tickles (above the waist apparently ) all that jazz) so I somehow doubt Im anything too special but while that brings me down a little Im happy at the minute. I let her know pretty much what I said here: 'Im not about the sex; but I need the affection and the intimacy'

...in fact when I think about it: a full blown relationship? Can I handle that? Not a clue

So, we're back at the stage we were at last week: though I'd say we learned a lot more about each other. Im not going to set myself up for further upset though: we're friends.

**GODAMMIT BOARDS! Theres no advanced posting options for anonymous users! You bastards!!!**

*thanks all for your insight - regardless of whether I agreed with it or not, it would be ignorant of me not to listen to all points of view.*

togster

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

. I know most people on boards here are lying theiving bastards so I dont expect you to understand theres people (like me) that get sick inside when we lie to people on the Big Things.

.*

TBH i think ye both need psychological help of some sort then. Us being lying thieving bastards and all....:rolleyes:

Nerin

*Yeah; I've seen enough PI threads to know thats trouble, logically speaking...but trust is only Human. As long as I've known her she'd been incredibly honest anyway. I know most people on boards here are lying theiving bastards so I dont expect you to understand theres people (like me) that get sick inside when we lie to people on the Big Things.

i love it when people show such gratitude to all those who offered them help when they asked for it :rolleyes:
but what do i know,we're all lying thieves lol

meditraitor

STUPIDIDIOT wrote: »

. She just loves sharp things and keeps them around she would never hurt anyone with them;
.*

Maybe you should hope she doesnt come back,