Farting in public

mise_me_fein

Do you do it? and do you care if you stink a place out?

I hold them in at work if at all possible but at home I don't really care.

It can be quite funny(usually for men ya sure). It's just gas.

Have you ever gambled and lost?

ScumLord

I never try and hold them in but I would try and be sneaky about letting it go. The problem is they tend to be loud ones so trying to sneak them out just means I'm prolonging the sound.

*Page*

never in public not even at home... i feel thats anyother use for the bathroom...

prendy

try not to let them go at work
but outside that there free to explore the world.
theres a cetain pride in stinking out a public place!

mise_me_fein

Yeah pride fair enough, but have you ever gambled and lost?

syklops

*Page* wrote: »

never in public not even at home... i feel thats anyother use for the bathroom...

If i had to use the bathroom everytime I had to let one rip, I would spend the day in there.

The Hill Billy

I make feeble token attempts at work to hold them in. BY & large these attempts are unsuccessful.

star-pants

Would do my best not to fart in public/work/around friends etc..(leave the room or go to the bathroom if possible / hold it in)
Even at home - I'd walk out of the room etc..
Unlike my younger sister...:rolleyes:

*Page*

i'm only ever effected once a month...

mucker23

HA! just farted there in work, luckily everyone is in a meeting, but usually someone walks in just when ya dont want them to

mucker23

follow the old saying "better out then in"

geuro

I often go up to the video shop or the supermarket with my housemate. I get a great satisfaction out of standing next to him and letting off a good loud fart and then ducking down behind a shelf or an aisle or something. Aprat from times like these, i try to keep the public farts quiet as i can.

Mossy Monk

Sure. All the time. But I try to keep it as quiet as possible and say to the person next to me "you smelly bastard" or such like.

Saint_Mel

Yep, I've let out the odd "one cheek sneak" in work. Can be quite embarrassing
if there’s a bit more of a guff to it than expected ... or if you tilt yourself over
a bit too much and slip off the chair :eek:

Cant release much at home, girlfriend can detect a chuff, no matter how silent
and odorless, from another floor, never mind room!

Although if someone else lets rip theres nothing better than shouting over
"you wont get that out in a cold wash"

SpitfireIV

mise_me_fein wrote: »

Do you do it? and do you care if you stink a place out?

I hold them in at work if at all possible but at home I don't really care.

It can be quite funny(usually for men ya sure). It's just gas.

Have you ever gambled and lost?

A little thing called 'manners', sure, its a natural thing and has to be done, but keep it in, or go somewhere else and do it. That phrase 'better out than in' as an excuse to fart in the presence of others really REALLY bugs me, but hey, if those around you find the sound, and smell of a fart is hillarious then what have you got to lose.

Who me?

I try hold them in public and let rip when I'm not.

Kold

Was out in a club last night and one of the lads let one rip. He thought it was hilarious much to the disgust of everyone else. I took this as my cue to empty myself of gas and let him take the blame.

mise_me_fein

mucker23 wrote: »

follow the old saying "better out then in"

You can't hold what you haven't got in your hands

Cormster

I know some people I worked with followed the "better out than in" and "it ain't paying rent" school of thought. I try to make to the jacks before letting loose.

FlutterinBantam

Worst case I came upon was when I was at Hanover airport,this big stout German was flanked by two elegant ladies in a crowded departure gate looking at one of the CCTV flight details monitors hanging form the ceiling.

I was just behind him when without yes, aye, or maybe he blew out the most unmerciful rasper which almost rocked the walls of the gaff.
Fcuker never even gave the slightest acknowledgment of the deed and the ladies never batted a fcukin eyelid even though the whole place was stopped in its tracks.

then he carried on as if NOTHING happened:eek:

Fcukin amazing.

leninbenjamin

think i was in sixth class. we used be in one of those old prefab things that in winter freeze open so you never have windows open. and for some unknown reason there was a shower of junior infants in there. anywho i let a silent one rip. it stank the whole place up so much the teacher kept asking the 5 year olds if they crapped their pants for the next half hour, I could hardly contain myself every time she asked, one of my proudest moments.

azezil

I let 'em rip any time any where, my office in work is usually ripe with the stench of fecal matter soaked expulsions from my neither regions, makes my eyes water sometimes!

Its truly the best way of keeping people away from the IT department! ^_^

AngryBadger

mise_me_fein wrote: »

I hold them in at work if at all possible but at home I don't really care.

It can be quite funny(usually for men ya sure).

+1

Holding farts in is uncomfortable!

BoB the 7th

I drive for a living and can't fart in the car. I hv been able to control the urge to let them rip. But as soon as i'm home. I walk up 2 the wife kiss her on the cheek and turn around quickly and let rippp.;) She is the worst though. If she was downstairs she'd come upstairs to me 2 & come in to fart and piss herself laughing then walk off... Isn't marriage grand.:D

FlutterinBantam

Some good retorts when someone blows out a rasper...

"..And now over to the newsroom"

"jaysus!..a bit more choke and you'd have got her started"

"Better out than yer eye,and the hole won't be half as sore"

" I'll name that tune in one"

johnnyrotten

If you don't fart you will explode

EdgarAllenPoo

I hold them in in public, once after a night of particularly nasty curry I had to hold them in all day and I swear I fractured a rib, it felt like I was sucking them up and that time I did it so much I actually got chest pains.

The other day I was standing in a queue and a guy ahead of me wearing headphones let rip. He had to have near **** himself but I think he may have thought it was an SBD because he couldn't hear it because of the headphones because he didn't react. An old woman beside me started gagging.

TPD

SBD is Silent But Deadly right? I always used to call them Silent But Violent, the rhyme has a much nicer ring to it.

Toto Wolfcastle

I think it's so funny when you're in a queue or something an next thing this smell drifts towards you. The person in front of you does not react at all even though it was clearly him/her. Seriously, these people need a biology lesson....it goes out the back, so maybe try not to do it when there is someone behind you!!

It wasn't so funny though when I was in work one day and I was hanging stock on a low counter behind a huge woman queueing at the tills. Yup, she pretty much hit the bulls eye with that one.

Gaz

When you gotta go , you gotta go. Ive even farted loudly during sex ... wasnt appreciated though

Jesus Wept

star-pants wrote: »

Would do my best not to fart in public/work/around friends etc..(leave the room or go to the bathroom if possible / hold it in)
Even at home - I'd walk out of the room etc..
Unlike my younger sister...:rolleyes:

hold on, hold on, girls don't fart.

//leaves thread for good.

Mike...

I am and will always be Loud and Proud....

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

not only do I enjoy a good fart, but I take pride in completing a particularly difficult ****e.

Gaz

Mordeth wrote: »

not only do I enjoy a good fart, but I take pride in completing a particularly difficult ****e.

Even more so when in a cubicle and you have to hold onto the walls , loud farts , plenty of grunts followed by splashes .... then go "what the fuk is that ?"

MarkR

Farting in a crowd is the way to go. You're like a ninja, nobody knows it's you.

Ninja_scrotum

You can't beat a good slippery shower-fart.

I'd fart in public if I'm with a bunch o mates so as to hide my identity from the general public. I would'nt fart in work because it's a big clothes shop where a lot of the customers are roides.

Also if myself and mates are chillin around the house we'd let rip whenever we can and have a bit of a laugh.

Sometimes my brother rings me up just to fart into my ear.

I remember one night I drank a bottle of buckfast, a nagon of JD and about 5 pints of guiness. Was letting rip some huge explosive farts most of the night and next day. Eventually I went for a shower and lo and behold my lovely grey jocks were stained dark red orangey brown.

Another time mself and my now ex gf were in bed most of the day together. This was after another heavy night on the guiness and whatnot. For about 5 hours I was holding in fart after fart and the pain was getting worse and worse. She eventually went off to the shop to get milk so I sprang out of bed, and since I knew this was going to be one of the biggest farts ever made by myself, I whipped out the phone and started to record. It did end up being the biggest fart I ever made. About 5 seconds in it stops and you think "phew that was huge..." then it starts up again for another few spluttery seconds.

I instantly sent it on to a few mates who I knew would appreciate a good fart.

Schlemm

Burping is acceptable among my fellow peers but farting is a bit out there.
I let one rip in the library in college there one day. It was a fart of despair due to a number of circumstances (exam timetable namely, this is UCD) and all the D4 heads in the vicinity must've heard it. Couldn't care less tho!

If you hold in your farts your gut starts gurgling so I'd rather let them out.

chipclub

In private I will let rip with gusto anywhere. In public I will still let them out but only in a silent and controlled manner. Any fart can be made silent or roaring if you have the muscle control! Smell is a different thing completely though. I'll drop them everywhere and take great please wallowing in the rich aroma.

Somnus

BoB the 7th wrote: »

I walk up 2 the wife kiss her on the cheek and turn around quickly and let rippp.;) She is the worst though. If she was downstairs she'd come upstairs to me 2 & come in to fart and piss herself laughing then walk off... Isn't marriage grand.:D

I have no problem letting them go in public. If its quiet, like in school I'd still go ahead. Would try to keep them quiet though.

My girlfriend and I are like that too Great to have the freedom and comfort. Not having to worry what she'll think if I let one rip.

demanufactured

I remember standing in the qeue in woodies one time , there was a mother and child standing behind me , now the night before i'd had a loada pints and chipper on the way home , well i let out the most unmerciful ripper , i think everyone could hear it.

The little lad looked around goin "mammy what was that" , followed by , "eeewwww mammy whats that smell?"""
i LOL'd to myself

Bryan1

Gwad I love this place already!!!

Yes I fart in public but not in a crowded place. So there

Ktb

The Al Lad

I hold my friends down and fart on there faces

There's nothing more sneaky

Oh yea and I fart on my moth's face as well

... and my little brothers

and sisters

ceidefields

I in the "let rip at home but keep silent when out and about" school. BUT I have a hilarious work fart story. Had just started a new job at Computer Associates and there was one person who was a bit of a technical genius. So I'm in his office every five minutes pickin his brains. Well he must have let rip the MOST disgusting fart right before I walked in. I start asking a question which trails off into silence as I stand there and fight for breath. Meanwhile he's turning redder and redder in his chair. After two minutes I just ran out of the office!

MagicMarker

I was in a Bar in NYC in January.. For the week preceeding this i lived off chinese food and beer. This night in particular was quite nasty. Silent but deadly, people actually left the vacinity within minutes.

admiralofthefleet

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Some good retorts when someone blows out a rasper...

"..And now over to the newsroom"

"jaysus!..a bit more choke and you'd have got her started"

"Better out than yer eye,and the hole won't be half as sore"

" I'll name that tune in one"

'speak up caller, you're through'

'how much'

'our survey says'

on topic, i do it all the time, did it this morning at a packed bus stop, it was just silent hot air but it was rank

Ninja_scrotum

Is anybody here on some sort of high protein workout diet??

My friend goes through tubs abd tubs of that MAXIMUSCLE high protein stuff, and the farts that they cause really are the worst i've ever smelled. They are so dense and liquid like, and more than likely EXTREMELY flammable. Maybe he could power Ireland eco style.

highlydebased

If I THINK its not going to be really loud, I'd fart away. Some lads in school this year go around lettin off regularly. In fact they pause, fart, and walk on. Quite funny tho.

I remember being at Mass once and this old fecker let off this big huge one....disgustin! Everyone turned to stare lololol

Ninja_scrotum

Neon-Circles wrote: »

I remember being at Mass once and this old fecker let off this big huge one....disgustin! Everyone turned to stare lololol

I've always wanted to fart in mass!! A real ripper that would reasonate perfectly off those aged benches, then echo all around the church. Only problem is I don't go to mass....

MooseJam

Every time im on a lift I try my hardest to squeeze one out, usually I'm successful

highlydebased

Ninja_scrotum wrote: »

I've always wanted to fart in mass!! A real ripper that would reasonate perfectly off those aged benches, then echo all around the church. Only problem is I don't go to mass....

lololol. I wouldnt have taken so much notice of this incident.....just the ignorance of the guy like....praying away and *FAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT!!*

Me and my younger brother were pissing ourselves laughing at it.....lol

BrianD3

When I was in school I used to let the most horrendous SBD garlic and onion farts. I'm laughing thinking about it now. The best ones were done in honours maths class - we had a tiny classroom as there weren't many taking that subject so any noxious gases released would be smelt by everyone. Once one person farted someone else would then try to better it. There was a lot of competition for title of King Farter in our school. It was a mixed school and some of the girls seemed to be impressed by the farting males