Good looking - but can't get laid

LegacyUser

Hi. I'm a 27 year old guy. I'm a nice person, quiet and gentle with a good personality plus a good sense of humour. I'm good looking with a good physique and would be considered a 9 out of 10 in the looks department. I don't mean to sound boastful. I don't really have close freinds but mostly I enjoy my own company. The problem is I have absolutley no sexual activity in my life. I am so depressed by this. I guess women are attracted to me as I do get my fair share of looks. But this is usually on the street, bus or whatever. When I do go to a pub or a club I never have any luck with women but not from the want of trying. I am shy and I think this comes across so women are put off and seem to prefer the alpha male sort of guys. I know looks aren't everything, but as regards using your looks to get laid I think they're wasted on me. There's a big emotional unfulfilled void in my life now. I am desperate at this stage and I don't want to resort to paying an escort for company. Any women I am interested in are all involved. Any suggestions or advice? I'd like to particularly here a female point of view. Thanks

Knockoff Nige

Are you generally trying to hook up with someone of your equal in the looks department? If so, then aim lower. For your first time, she doesnt have to be a 9 out of 10. People will tell you to just relax and stop over trying. But, I say go out and get some and get rid of this pressure. Whoever it is. Sure, dont go and pay a prostitute but you dont have to pay to get laid. Noone does.

Mr. Incognito

why on't you ask your female mates to set you up with someone. Everyone loves playing cupid.

ferdi

desperate wrote: »

There's a big emotional unfulfilled void in my life now. I am desperate at this stage and I don't want to resort to paying an escort for company.

you are trying to fill an emotional void in your life by getting laid casually by strangers and even possibly getting a hooker?

LegacyUser

ferdi wrote: »

you are trying to fill an emotional void in your life by getting laid casually by strangers and even possibly getting a hooker?

Well no, it's a lack of intimacy I suppose. Normal human desires

Latchy

Well giving the amount of ugly guys (not so goodloooking ) with lovley women it's true , you dont have to have the looks or the body to get laid .

xabi

Maybe you arent as good looking as you think!

LegacyUser

I'm in a similar situation as the OP. The friends thing is really an issue. Women are so much easier to meet if you do it through friends. It can be hard work doing it up cold and you really need to be very confident in yourself to pull it off.

So you really need the character to match the looks.

Latchy

Quote Maybe you are not as good looking as you think !

Maybe he isin't ? Somtimes you have to ask yourself ' are these posts for real ?

projectmayhem

desperate wrote: »

I don't mean to sound boastful.

well you do. i'd go as far as to say your ego is up in the clouds. get rid of that, relax a bit and maybe talk to women for the conversation and company rather then the idea of getting "laid".

biko

It's not all about looks. It's also about being fun guy to be around and being confident and a bit cheeky.

Latchy

Just wondering if i posted somthing similer like the OP and said ' Hi , i am coming to Dublin soon and wish to get laid , however i dont want to go with a prostitute ,what response might i get .....Curious ?

Rob_l

Rule number one of meeting women

I enjoy my own company.

But this is usually on the street, bus or whatever.

1/ meet women, you cant expect to meet women if you have few opportunites to meet with them in social contexts.

but not from the want of trying.

2/ stop trying start doing, by that I mean stop trying so hard to get goals and rather just begin to enjoy yourself(doing), dont set out to score women just set out to have a funt ime with them. In doing this you will firstly feel more relaxed and secondly they will be more relaxed around you ebcause your not trrying to force something to happen.

Spoony2

Paying for sex aint going to help you , and trying well good likes a tryer personally if you do ti and stop being so desperate women pick up on that And dont pay for sex i mean how tempting as it might sound its still paying for sex and aint going to make you feel better just chill out....

and stop being desperate, women can sence that .....

Rob_l

biko wrote: »

It's not all about looks. It's also about being fun guy to be around and being confident and a bit cheeky.

women liek cocky cheeky men who are happy with who they are

men like slappers end of:D

syberspud

Most of this has been said but it really is quite simple. It's all about the banter man, you have to be fun and light hearted when approaching women in pubs and clubs. I mean if yer not getting the craic on a nite out, what the hell are you like on a monday morning? Once you're in a conversation you're lucky because if you're as hot as you claim, it's pretty much cruise control, some mild flirting and smiling should get you a kiss and a number but don't be serious and ffs, drop the desperation. It will sink even the greatest Casanova. Don't even think the word. You are not desperate. You are cool. Good luck.

UnderPantsMan

The amount of ugly guys i know getting laid constantly..

The world just isn't fair?!

BoozyBabe

desperate wrote: »

Hi. I'm a 27 year old guy. I'm good looking with a good physique and would be considered a 9 out of 10 in the looks department....... as regards using your looks to get laid I think they're wasted on me.

Are you sure you're shy & not coming across as someone who thinks he's gorgeous?

Because, other than that, I can't see any reason why you can't get a woman.

Who do you go out with? Are you on your own? A guy walking around a bar talent spotting on his own would make most girls run tbh.

I'm not trying to be nasty or anything, so please fill me in on what a night out consists of. Who's there, where you go, what you do etc.

di11on

Well... if you're good looking - maybe internet dating would work?

I'm not sure how things work in that world, but given your situation, it sounds like it might be an option worth considering.

Bree

Hi desperate,

Im in the same situation but I am a girl.

Do you give the impression that your are just out for one thing??? Cos this can put some girls off you know.

Riesen_Meal

Timmyman wrote: »

So you really need the character to match the looks.

You dont need the looks to match the character though.....

tbh

desperate wrote: »

Hi. I'm a 27 year old guy. I'm a nice person, quiet and gentle with a good personality plus a good sense of humour. I'm good looking with a good physique and would be considered a 9 out of 10 in the looks department. I don't mean to sound boastful. I don't really have close freinds but mostly I enjoy my own company. The problem is I have absolutley no sexual activity in my life. I am so depressed by this. I guess women are attracted to me as I do get my fair share of looks. But this is usually on the street, bus or whatever. When I do go to a pub or a club I never have any luck with women but not from the want of trying. I am shy and I think this comes across so women are put off and seem to prefer the alpha male sort of guys. I know looks aren't everything, but as regards using your looks to get laid I think they're wasted on me. There's a big emotional unfulfilled void in my life now. I am desperate at this stage and I don't want to resort to paying an escort for company. Any women I am interested in are all involved. Any suggestions or advice? I'd like to particularly here a female point of view. Thanks

read the title of this thread, and check your username. You're pretty much admitting that all you want is sex, and you don't really care how or where you get it. You're not interested in meeting women, you're interested in scoring them. Hint: Lots of ladies don't really like that. "Wow, this guy is so needy and desperate, I just know he'll be worth it!"

Marksie

latchyco wrote: »

Just wondering if i posted somthing similer like the OP and said ' Hi , i am coming to Dublin soon and wish to get laid , however i dont want to go with a prostitute ,what response might i get .....Curious ?

It would be "banned" from me .

Which is an opportune time to state that PI isnt a dating service. So PM and get a room and dont clutter this thread folks

Rob_l

Rob_l wrote: »

women liek cocky cheeky men who are happy with who they are

I disagree, there is nothing more knee trembling than a gorgeous silent type.
Us Ladies are imagnitive creatures, and less you put out there, the more we fill in the gaps, and the more fantastic and imminenty bedable you are.


Perhaps your no good at playing it cool or perhpas you have mastered the art of being/appearing interested in other people.

Moonbaby

I'm in the same situation but I know what the problem is. Quite simply I spend too much time alone and am too afraid to step outside the box. That and low self esteem too. But I'd also agree that women are easier to meet through friends.

Moonbaby wrote: »

I disagree, there is nothing more knee trembling than a gorgeous silent type.
Us Ladies are imagnitive creatures, and less you put out there, the more we fill in the gaps, and the more fantastic and imminenty bedable you are.

Not sure I'm gorgeous but I'm certainly the silent type. At least at the beginning.

Latchy

=Marksie;54187208]It would be "banned" from me .

Which is an opportune time to state that PI isnt a dating service. So PM and get a room and dont clutter this thread folks

I was thinking that OP is hoping that will happen ie , he will get random pms and get to date one or sevaral ladies who are perhaps curious ?

abbie

try speed dating. see the speed dating thread in personal

panda100

Moonbaby wrote: »

I disagree, there is nothing more knee trembling than a gorgeous silent type.
Us Ladies are imagnitive creatures, and less you put out there, the more we fill in the gaps, and the more fantastic and imminenty bedable you are.
.

Ooooh I second this.Id take a mysterious,shy handsome stranger anytime over a cocky,confident hansdome stranger.
Maybe your just going to the wrong places to meet the type of girl you want to meet?

p.s please come to the board beers

ruskin

OP Im in a similar situation to you. Im a nice, shy fairly good looking guy and have never had any luck in clubs etc. with girls. I have friends who would not be described as handsome, and they have seem to have all the luck. Attracting the interest of a girl has nothing to do with looks im convinced; its all about confidence and character.

Cheeky_gal

OP, I'm afraid i'm gonna have to see a pic in order to voice an opinion in this....:p

Marksie

Cheeky_gal: On topic. This is not a dating site or anything remotely resembling it. Take it to PM, get a room.

Thats a warning. You are just back from a week for a similar offence. It will be a month next time

Cheeky_gal

Marksie wrote: »

Cheeky_gal: On topic. This is not a dating site or anything remotely resembling it. Take it to PM, get a room.

Thats a warning. You are just back from a week for a similar offence. It will be a month next time

Apologies Marksie, my bad

Max_Damage

Marksie wrote: »

Cheeky_gal: On topic. This is not a dating site or anything remotely resembling it. Take it to PM, get a room.

Thats a warning. You are just back from a week for a similar offence. It will be a month next time

Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?

dudara

Max_Damage Consider yourself warned. If you have a problem with a mod, discuss it in a PM or take it to the feedback forum.

dudara

celestial

Marksie wrote: »

Cheeky_gal: On topic. This is not a dating site or anything remotely resembling it. Take it to PM, get a room.

Thats a warning. You are just back from a week for a similar offence. It will be a month next time

Hi Marksie - you're not for real are you? If you are, then someone has a problem..! Cheeky_gal, you had no need to apologise - the world and his wife realised and took for granted that you were joking with some light humour, relieving the situation!

marksie, if you're going to reply with a stern comment, please also stand up for yourself and advise the board in what way her post violated the terms/charter - I am new here and believed free speech (with the exception of abusive, offensive posts) was permissible here on a not too-PC board - thanks a lot.

celestial

OP - I am sort of in the same situation i guess, i dont have major problems meeting women in social settings but i dont ever really meet someone id like to go out with or who i'd fancy enough to go out with...in general i find that the girls i really fancy are always taken....agggh!

we prob need to know more: how confident are you generally? do you find talking to women easy? would you not strike up conversations with friends of friends while out in the pub? if you are somewhat less than confident that could be an issue...

Dudess

celestial wrote: »

I am new here

Indeed you certainly are. What was the point of that post? You're only going to be advised to take it to personal messaging or the Feedback forum. If you have a problem with a mod, you don't discuss it on the thread. This is a serious forum and going off-topic is not appreciated. As for Marksie not explaining himself, there is a charter which should answer all your questions.
OP, I also think quieter guys are really attractive. Maybe you're going for the wrong type of girl - the type who prefers a louder, cockier male?
But you also seem too sensitive to just dick around. Wouldn't you prefer a relationship?

vorbis

Firstly, OP you're not as good looking as you think. For a guy, 9 out of 10 would suggest you're well built and have model like features. You would stand out from every other guy in a bar. You would be getting some action purely based on your looks.

Since you're not, then you need to deflate that ego a bit. Are you coming off too nice when you talk to women? Whats the typical outcome when you try to chat up a girl? Do you get a number, a kiss or the convo just fizzles out? What works for me is to be as direct as possible. A sweeping generalization but most irish women would expect a guy to make a move (in a busy bar / club) within say 20 minutes. If you haven't tried to kiss her within that time, she'll likely be puzzled.
Thats not a rule but more a guideline. The main point though is that you have to try to make a move and be willing to fail several times at first!

celestial

vorbis wrote: »

Firstly, OP you're not as good looking as you think. For a guy, 9 out of 10 would suggest you're well built and have model like features. You would stand out from every other guy in a bar. You would be getting some action purely based on your looks.

Not necessarily. He could be someone who is very good-looking but maybe lacking in confidence, which is far more of a turn-off than not being physically attractive, i.e. women find confident men who are more like a 3 or 4 or 5 very attractive simply because they have great confidence/character/personality, whereas the reverse situation isn't true (unless you're a pretty superficial woman with no real personality yourself).

Cheeky_gal

celestial wrote: »

Hi Marksie - you're not for real are you? If you are, then someone has a problem..! Cheeky_gal, you had no need to apologise - the world and his wife realised and took for granted that you were joking with some light humour, relieving the situation!

marksie, if you're going to reply with a stern comment, please also stand up for yourself and advise the board in what way her post violated the terms/charter - I am new here and believed free speech (with the exception of abusive, offensive posts) was permissible here on a not too-PC board - thanks a lot.

Cheers...was actually thinking the same tbh but ya gotta shut them up...lol

Oh no...:rolleyes:

Marksie

Cheeky_gal: You were already on a warning.

Banned: off topic posting

How Strange

OP, I'd say you are more a 6 or 7 out of 10 because I don't know any guy or girl who is a 9 out of 10 who doesn't get the girl/guy.

Really I'd say you have a bit of an atitude and rather than being shy you are more standoffish because you aren't interested in girls who are less than a 9.
From your post, you don't seem so shy and are definitely aware of your physical attributes.

From a female point of view, I would say you could be less goodlooking than you think and desperate to have a girl friend and that could be all very off putting to women.

vorbis

celestial wrote: »

Not necessarily. He could be someone who is very good-looking but maybe lacking in confidence, which is far more of a turn-off than not being physically attractive, i.e. women find confident men who are more like a 3 or 4 or 5 very attractive simply because they have great confidence/character/personality, whereas the reverse situation isn't true (unless you're a pretty superficial woman with no real personality yourself).

I presume we're talking scoring on a night out? Looks play a big part in this! When it comes to longer relationships personality does become more of an issue. A very good looking guy will have some sexual activity in his life (unlike the OP). There are plenty of women around who are up for scoring with someone attractive on a night out. This seems never to have happened to the OP so I doubt he is as attractive as he thinks he is.

OP, you also claim to try a lot, I thought the same thing when I was doing bad with women. In reality though, what I thought of trying was just saying hello to maybe 3 women in a night and perhaps talking to them for 5 minutes. I was afraid to try harder in order to protect my own ego (as in I can't be that bad with women) The harsh truth is though that this is one area of your life that will only improve with continuous trial and error.

Knockoff Nige

How Strange wrote: »

OP, I'd say you are more a 6 or 7 out of 10 because I don't know any guy or girl who is a 9 out of 10 who doesn't get the girl/guy.

Really I'd say you have a bit of an atitude and rather than being shy you are more standoffish because you aren't interested in girls who are less than a 9.
From your post, you don't seem so shy and are definitely aware of your physical attributes.

From a female point of view, I would say you could be less goodlooking than you think and desperate to have a girl friend and that could be all very off putting to women.

Yeah I'd agree here. I think usually there is something quirky about a person that some people dont spot but others do. Even when you ook in the mirror you might not realise that your head is a weird shape or your nose is bigger than you 'nose' it to be (see what I did there). It might eb the way you walk or the way you pose. Might even be the way you shy away like a schoolgirl when a girl makes eye contact with you. Its all about how your image is seen by other people, not by how you see yourself.

Also, who would be a 9 out of 10? Clooney? Pitt? Eddie Hobbs? I have no idea.

panda100

celestial wrote: »

Not necessarily. He could be someone who is very good-looking but maybe lacking in confidence, which is far more of a turn-off than not being physically attractive, i.e. women find confident men who are more like a 3 or 4 or 5 very attractive simply because they have great confidence/character/personality, whereas the reverse situation isn't true (unless you're a pretty superficial woman with no real personality yourself).

Once again I am amazed at how little boards men know of us women. Being very good looking and shy/lacking in confidence is the ultimate turn on! Actually I would say the exact opposit of what you said celestial. While I agree that character/personality is a turn on,confidence isnt necessarilly a turn on for us ladies. I know I dont find it an attractive quality anywyas.

Knockoff Nige

panda100 wrote: »

Once again I am amazed at how little boards men know of us women. Being very good looking and shy/lacking in confidence is the ultimate turn on! Actually I would say the exact opposit of what you said celestial. While I agree that character/personality is a turn on,confidence isnt necessarilly a turn on for us ladies. I know I dont find it an attractive quality anywyas.

Perhaps, each girl is different and so 'knowing about women' is not a general thing. Going by some of yuor previousd posts I could generalise too.

celestial

panda100 wrote: »

Once again I am amazed at how little boards men know of us women. Being very good looking and shy/lacking in confidence is the ultimate turn on! Actually I would say the exact opposit of what you said celestial. While I agree that character/personality is a turn on,confidence isnt necessarilly a turn on for us ladies. I know I dont find it an attractive quality anywyas.

Panda100, are you being serious? you don't find confidence an attractive quality in men? If so, then you are probably the only woman on earth...! I can see how being shy can be attractive, but lack of confidence....??

SarahSassy

George Clooney is a 9 out of 10.....

SS

PS well actually maybe a 9.75 out of 10.....

LegacyUser

I have a similiar problem to OP.

Moonbaby wrote: »

I disagree, there is nothing more knee trembling than a gorgeous silent type.

I wish! I'm 21, tall, brown eyes, 9.6 in hot or not and get told by a few women that I could have any girl I want (except them for some reason!)but quite shy and girls certainly aren't trembling at the knee or anything. I'm not like most guys - I don't have any excuses! I genuinely don't know why girls are never interested. I've overcome my shyness to some degree in that I can go up to random strangers and have a laugh and even get kisses and numbers - but never hear from them again. Don't get much opportunity to meet girls through friends, for some reason, but when I do I'm usually quite shy in groups anyway so its difficult to be noticed. I think girls think I'm too innocent looking or something, not sure really. Sometimes I get noticeably nervous around girls as well for some reason.

Although, Moonbaby if what you say above is true about you, what you doing this weekend?hehehe

Us Ladies are imagnitive creatures, and less you put out there, the more we fill in the gaps, and the more fantastic and imminenty bedable you are.

It makes sense but I really don't think this is true. Speaking from experience and a lot of analysis of male-female relationships.

Perhaps your no good at playing it cool or perhpas you have mastered the art of being/appearing interested in other people.

Hmm, I wouldn't be the coolest person, certainly not a geek, but I can be a bit unorthodox at times; but women like a guy who can be himself, right??

I find online dating doesn't work - I get lots of interest from girls because of pictures I put and usually have a good laugh in emails and stuff, but most women are reluctant to meet up in real life for some reason. Dunno if thats just me?

panda100

celestial wrote: »

Panda100, are you being serious? you don't find confidence an attractive quality in men? If so, then you are probably the only woman on earth...! I can see how being shy can be attractive, but lack of confidence....??

Im not saying I dont like confident men,I do!But I wouldnt be turned off by a guy who was a bit shy.It would make him intriguing and mysterious and ultimatly I would want to know more about him.Theres a thin line between confidence and arrogance a line which is often overstepped.

strawberrybox

you need to have a bit more going for you than looks, you need to get with the chat, if you ask most women what they find attractive in a bloke quite a lot will say the ability to make them laugh and put them at ease,- even brad would find it hard to score id say if he just stood there like a spoon and didnt say anything! id say you probably scare a lot of women off as the prospect of going out withsome really georgous can be a bit daunting they will be thinking your going to be high maintenace and will always have to look their best when your around and cant relax and be themselves