The Pregnancy Chat Thread!

fro9etb8j5qsl2

If you wanted, you could always stop taking your pill but still use contraception around your fertile time, just to get you and your body used to NOT taking the pill. Then, eventually, when the idea isn't so daunting, you could stop using contraception altogether. Stopping your pill is a big step when you think about the huge consequences it can ultimately have on your life but if you break it down into smaller steps it seems less frightening

Suucee

Congrats MS, new lil baba for J. and another April one at that.

Sadderday I was also afraid I wouldn't conceive. My sister had problems conceiving and a lot of my aunts also never had kids.
I had had my appendix out which caused problems after and needed a second op on my bowel and an ovarian cyst removed.

We had be talking about starting our family before all this so once I got the all clear from surgeons I came off the pill. Had been on it about 8 years.
Had 1 normal period and then conceived. after I had her I went back on the pill until she was 13 months, then decided it was time for no 2 and again off the pill had a period and conceived.

I was working Parttime and OH full time. we rent have bills and even a loan but there would never be a right time. I now no longer work and OH still working full time. Once there;s enough to keep us fed and warm my 2 baba's are all that matters.

Best of luck what ever you decide.

comongethappy

Sadderday wrote: »

Thanks,

Just another question.... I'm am absolutely freaked, I have it in my head that I won't be able to concieve. I've never been able to see myself pregnant but of course we would both love to have a family.

Did anyone else have that fear ? I think i'm too afraid to try incase I can't!

My hubby and I had been ttc for about 5 months. Prior to that, I hadn't been on birth control and had been more or less using the rhythm method for 5 years. However, in the last year, we had been quite lax and were surprised that nothing had happened. We had one last massive holiday, then started actively trying. I was getting very stressed when it wasn't working (it took my mom 5 yrs to concieve my brother and I, with plenty of chemical pregnancies in between). However, had a lot coming up in Nov and Dec, so we gave up trying. Lo and behold, once I gave up and stop worrying it happened. Try not to stress too much, and just see what happens once you both decide you're ready for the journey

Ms2011

Suucee wrote: »

Congrats MS, new lil baba for J. and another April one at that.

Thanks, I'm actually due 2 days before J turns 3 so stressing a little that I might miss his birthday but sure we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Sadderday

Thank you everyone!,

I thought I was an oddball having the fear!

Penny Dreadful

Sadderday wrote: »

Thank you everyone!,

I thought I was an oddball having the fear!

It's a perfectly reasonable fear to have. I'm 31 weeks pregnant now and it too 12 months of ttc for us.
I'd been on the pill since I was 19/20 and started ttc in 35(and a half).
It took ages for the hormones to leave my system and I was also going through a very stressful time at work which I do think affected things to a degree. After 6 months ttc I started some acupuncture to help. If nothing else it eased the work stress somewhat.
I'd also gone to the doctor to have my bloods checked and my husband had a semen analysis test done. Both of those came back fine and then a month later we hit the jackpot.

If you're not 100% ready to start actively ttc now you can prepare your body for pregnancy even now- take your folic acid, stop smoking if you do, build some exercise into your day and things like that.
Some things you'll never have done but they really don't matter- we had hoped to have sold our house and moved to a bigger one and all that kind of stuff but it didn't work out that way but I'd never swap where I am in my life now for a different house and no pregnancy.

cbyrd

Ms2011 wrote: »

Thanks, I'm actually due 2 days before J turns 3 so stressing a little that I might miss his birthday but sure we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Congratulations Ms2011 !! Might have a great birthday present for J My best friend had her first on Aug 28th, a month early.. he's now almost 7... she had her second on August 28th ... 2 days late.. she's almost 2.. what are the odds!! :eek:

Sadderday, there's no worse fear than thinking you can't have children, I had those fears for years aswell before I was in a relationship. I could never see myself with children and though I always wanted them I convinced myself i would never have them, I was 24 when I got pregnant with my 1st, I'm 40 and 25 weeks pregnant with my 5th.. There is no right time to have a baby. Even trying to mentally prepare yourself doesn't really work cos all you see is how much they'll cost and how will i manage with work and bills and in the end it's easier to put it off! Once it's what you both want why wait?

Sadderday

cbyrd wrote: »

Congratulations Ms2011 !! Might have a great birthday present for J My best friend had her first on Aug 28th, a month early.. he's now almost 7... she had her second on August 28th ... 2 days late.. she's almost 2.. what are the odds!! :eek:

Sadderday, there's no worse fear than thinking you can't have children, I had those fears for years aswell before I was in a relationship. I could never see myself with children and though I always wanted them I convinced myself i would never have them, I was 24 when I got pregnant with my 1st, I'm 40 and 25 weeks pregnant with my 5th.. There is no right time to have a baby. Even trying to mentally prepare yourself doesn't really work cos all you see is how much they'll cost and how will i manage with work and bills and in the end it's easier to put it off! Once it's what you both want why wait?

Wow, thanks a million everyone.

I never ever mentioned my big fear to anyone before, I'm surprise to hear so many of you felt the same pre baby!

Delighted for all of you that are now mams and hopefully I can join the club soon.

Everyone says to wait to have a child because we are still young and will have to sacrifice the luxuries and holidays etc etc etc.

I think though that the OH is made to be a dad, he would be wonderful and seems to really want a few. I am the same.... The way we live our lives right now is so low key... we dont go out much, alot of time watching tv together etc etc etc, I think a baby is missing in our lives to be honest and that we are both just waiting for the right time.

I'm gonna have a chat with him over the weekend. If we are in agreement to give it a go starting say, in January - I will take your advice ladies and start getting my body prepared.

It's as exciting as it is terrifying.

A big congratulations to all of you that had to hold out hope for a baby and had a wait. Delighted for you, nice news to hear!

Whispered

Sitting watching tv on a Saturday night. I'm defo pregnant!

Betsie_xr3i

Whispered wrote: »

Sitting watching tv on a Saturday night. I'm defo pregnant!

Watching TV on a Saturday night with a toddler and a new born :-D

Sligo1

Yup! Toddler in bed, baby in bed, me and OH in bed watching tv. People might think boring... But I'm thinking this is bloody lurvely!!! . First time we've chilled all day and eve

Betsie_xr3i

It's just perfect sligo wouldn't want to be anywhere else x

tishandy

Hey Ladies . Has anyone seen those baby nightdresses, that look like a babygro ,are long like a dress but button or tie at the bottom? for easy nappy changing at night? My sis got some in mothercare but they don't have any now . Cheers

Millem

tishandy wrote: »

Hey Ladies . Has anyone seen those baby nightdresses, that look like a babygro ,are long like a dress but button or tie at the bottom? for easy nappy changing at night? My sis got some in mothercare but they don't have any now . Cheers

Is it something like this ? they have them in grey and blue too
http://www.marksandspencer.ie/2-Pack-Pure-Cotton-Spotted-Star-Print-Bundlers/Parent_T781056P,en_IE,pd.html?dwvar_Parent__T781056P_color=QA&start=

Penny Dreadful

32 weeks today! Wowzers.
Had a good nights sleep last night - considering :-)
6 more weeks left to work after this one and I can't wait to be finished. Going into that place everyday is quite an endurance test these days.

tishandy

Millem wrote: »

Is it something like this ? they have them in grey and blue too
http://www.marksandspencer.ie/2-Pack-Pure-Cotton-Spotted-Star-Print-Bundlers/Parent_T781056P,en_IE,pd.html?dwvar_Parent__T781056P_color=QA&start=

Yes! Thanks so much

Millem

tishandy wrote: »

Yes! Thanks so much

If you order them online use the code NEWSLETTER5 to get €5 off an order of €35

Dolbert

Saw this today, beyond troubling.

Women's consent no longer a factor in the labour ward, says High Court

fro9etb8j5qsl2

There is definitely some info missing from that article. The judge said that the midwife was 'responding to a situation that had arisen' yet the woman claims that the labour was 'progressing normally'. They can't both be right. Seems a bit scaremongery to me.

Dolbert

I have heard enough stories about procedures and interventions being performed on labouring women without their consent to be disturbed by this. This woman did not consent to the ARM, a procedure that is specifically not recommended under NICE best practice guidelines. There are certain interventions that I don't want in labour unless absolutely necessary, and I find it terrifying that I could just be overruled in the name of the Active Labour Management that Irish maternity hospitals are so fond of. This ruling, along with the judge's comments, smacks of the 'shut up and do as you're told' attitude so many women have experienced in birthing.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

The article you quoted states:

The woman suing Kerry General claims that the midwife caring for her broke her waters without her permission after she expressly said she didn’t want them broken

Yet none of the actual news reports state this, they just say that the woman claimed the ARM was unnecessary after the fact. The midwife claims she discussed the ARM with the woman but the woman claims that the midwife said she was 'going to check on her' and then broke the waters artificially. There was obviously some breakdown in communication, which is totally unacceptable, but the site you quoted seems to be hellbent on demonising hospital practise in relation to chilbirth (I have read some of the other blogs on the site, notably 'Giving birth is a feminist issue') Luckily both mother and baby are ok after what was a traumatic experience for them both.

Dolbert

^Exactly, sure why would you be listening to those crazy feminists. That's a pretty common attitude to women who dare to be traumatised about their birth experience. 'Why are you complaining, sure weren't mother and baby fine in the end.'

I have no reason to believe the mother is lying. I personally know enough women who have had sweeps etc done with no consent whatsoever to believe her.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

I'm not minimising the trauma that the mother suffered and I'm not saying that what happened to her was right. My issue is with the article- there are definitely elements of it that are misleading. And I have no problem with feminists but the picture she paints of hospital birthing in Ireland is ridiculously far fetched (unless I have led a very sheltered life. I have never met anyone who had an experience similar to what she outlines 'can possibly happen') Pregnancy is a scary enough time for women without all this scaremongering.

Neyite

Eva Proud Voyage wrote: »

Luckily both mother and baby are ok after what was a traumatic experience for them both.

A traumatic birth can lead to PTSD and PND, neither of which I'd particularly relish when getting to grips with a newborn, breastfeeding and sleep deprivation.

Is it so wrong for us to want a birth outcome that is a little more pleasant than 'shure, its not like you died or anything'

Why cant we be given the time to let our bodies and our babies do what needs to be done instead of rushing the process because it suits nursing rosters?

Synyster Shadow

To be honest when I had my first they tried many times to break my waters it hurt like nothing I'd felt before in the end I told her to stop.. She wasn't happy but my labour was fast at only 3 hours from been told not in active labour to him been born.. With my second I told her what happened with my first and she didn't try break them and the experience was perfect.. Also on my first I Had to have placenta removed manually and because 3 women were waiting on epi I'd to lie and wait 3 hours after giving birth which hindered bonding time and it was very uncomfortable with people in and out with all on display.. Things do happen outside textbook and a lot more than people realise

My first time nightmare my second lovely least I knew better for second time

cyning

I gave birth in Kerry in both 2012 and 2014. I can tell you that there is no comparison between the two births. I had a doctor tell me in the middle of a failed induction that that was what happened when you "interfered with nature." They tried to send me home for the weekend on a Fri evening after 5 rounds of gel to restart induction on Monday morning. I refused to leave as I could not feel my little girl moving. I was a high risk pregnancy. There was very little communication. They wrote my daughters birth weight wrong in places so I HAD to top her up with formula because she lost too much weight.

This time they spoke to me not at me. They listened to me. I really do not doubt one word that mother said because the difference in the 20 months was like chalk and cheese. I don't believe a shift that big could have taken place without some event having triggered it.

Ms Tootsie

Not pregnant yet but hubby and I are hoping to start trying in the near future so I pop on here from time to time to lurk and see what the future will hopefully hold for us

So just a broody lurker for now but in the meantime I came across this lovely article talking about the positives of childbirth and I thought I would share it here: http://www.independent.ie/life/family/mothers-babies/10-positives-no-one-tells-you-about-childbirth-30477675.html

fall

That's a great article and so positive. The biggest issue for me is that hospitals try to time manage a process that should not be time managed unless there is a medical necessity. This results in things like what that woman went through. It is why I hope to stay at home for as long as possible.

Millem

fall wrote: »

That's a great article and so positive. The biggest issue for me is that hospitals try to time manage a process that should not be time managed unless there is a medical necessity. This results in things like what that woman went through. It is why I hope to stay at home for as long as possible.

I had to laugh about it saying there was no pain. I reckon the author had never been in labour! I would consider myself to have a high pain threshold and dear lord it was a form of torture. The most painful thing was the contractions that in my case lasted over 21 hours

Ms Tootsie

Ha well yes I think the pain part is total denial!

But the most of it is very positive and empowering. Although this is coming from a woman with the lowest pain threshold possible so I might be screaming a different tune when the time comes :rolleyes: