Really bad lines

badbrian

I vaguely remember some really desperate lines from A Few Good Men but there can't be many worse than Patrick Swayze in Road House (it was on sometime last week) where he refuses a local anaesthetic in the hospital with the unforgettable "Pain don't hurt" !?!?

faceman

now now now, i wont have anyone dissin "roadhouse"!!! That movie is a classic!

lets not also forget the other immortal lines such as:

*Nobody ever wins a fight*
*I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead*

Theboinkmaster

really desperate lines from A Few Good Men?!?!

I think not - great film. Sure, if you repeat them out of context some may seem silly but that's the same with any film

If you want clunky dialogue look no further than the star wars prequels

monkey tennis

From Passenger 57:

Always bet on black!

Wacker

Roadhouse is ludicrous. Remember when one of the goons says to Sam Elliot's character something like: "Are you here to fight?" His response is "Well I sure ain't here to show you my d*ck." What the hell kind of answer is that?

Also, during the climactic fight scene, the villian comes out with the terror inspiring "I used to f*ck guys like you in prison".

I know that if a guy were to say that to me, I'd give up straight away. Let him take the girl or whatever. I'm not messing with a dude like that.

Wacker

Wacker wrote:

Roadhouse is ludicrous. Remember when one of the goons says to Sam Elliot's character something like: "Are you here to fight?" His response is "Well I sure ain't here to show you my d*ck." What the hell kind of answer is that?

An honest one.

Don't knock the Swayze. Road House is a true 80s classic. Hopefully Red dawn is as good, I finially got around to buying it earlier today.

Magic Eight Ball

Wacker wrote:

Roadhouse is ludicrous. Remember when one of the goons says to Sam Elliot's character something like: "Are you here to fight?" His response is "Well I sure ain't here to show you my d*ck." What the hell kind of answer is that?

LOL classic..

BigWilly

http://screwattack.com/Flash%20HTML/ANN/TMNT3movie2.html

"Who did you expect? The Adam's Family?"

Retr0gamer

From Titanic:

'The water is freezing and there's not enough boats'.

Kate Winslet is one of the best actresses arround today and even she couldn't make that sound convincing. I felt sorry for her doing that film.It did forward her career but selling her body on the street would be less embarassing than some of the lines she had to say.

Dodge

Ì know it was in the original film and it has since become a well known phrase but Jack Black's delivery of "It was beauty that killed the best" in the King Kong remake was awful.

Shryke

'I'll always be with you, in here' *point to heart* or some other variant. Tends to crop up all over the place. Horrible and painful.

rizzla

"Is it raining? I hadn't noticed!" - Four Weddings and a Funeral. Never even seen the movie but saw that scene and it is woeful.

mike65

I’m not leaving you!”

“You have to go on without me!"

Any adventure with romantic leads or buddy-buddy pairing.

Mike.

Fuzzy_Dunlop

Doom!-"If they were so smart, then why are they so dead?"

DaBreno

"You had me at Hello" I got sick in my mouth the first time.

"You complete me" I soiled my pants at that one.

When I think about it, that was a messy scene....

menoscemo

Theboinkmaster wrote:

really desperate lines from A Few Good Men?!?!

I think not - great film. Sure, if you repeat them out of context some may seem silly but that's the same with any film

If you want clunky dialogue look no further than the star wars prequels

No I agree, I saw one courtroom scene with Demi Moore going on about 'the brave men guarding that wall (guantanamo) so that we can all sleep safe at night' made me want to throw a brick through the tv.

"They sucked his brains out". Michael Ironside in Starship Troopers, it always makes me cringe. Its the way he says it, even in a film like Starship Troopers it sounds awfully out of place and incredibly cheesy.

Pigman II

Theboinkmaster wrote:

r

If you want clunky dialogue look no further than the star wars prequels

I'm a total SW apologist and have to mention that one aspect a lot of people miss about those movies is that the dialogue iis deliberately clunky in order to emulate the movie serials of the 30's and 40's - the format on which SW is based

However! That said tho even 5 years on I can't get overthis line from Anakin : "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything's soft... and smooth..."

:eek:

irishthump

I think the award has to bo to Steven Seagal in Under Siege 2.

After beating the sh*t out of onw of the bad guys in the galley of the train he delivers this corker....

"Nobody beats me in the kitchen!"

I mean jeeeZUS!!!!

Call Me Jimmy

irishthump wrote:

I think the award has to bo to Steven Seagal in Under Siege 2.

After beating the sh*t out of onw of the bad guys in the galley of the train he delivers this corker....

"Nobody beats me in the kitchen!"

I mean jeeeZUS!!!!

"I'm just a cook". The cheesiest delivery of a line that I've seen.

Dont be at yourself

Forget Roadhouse, Point Break is the undisputed king of corny lines:

Bodhi: Little hand says it's time to rock and roll.

Ben Harp: You're a real blue flame special, aren't you, son? Young, dumb and full of come, I know. What I don't know is how you got assigned here. Guess we must just have ourselves an asshole shortage, huh?
Johnny Utah: [quietly] Not so far.

Pappas: 22 years. Man, L.A. has changed a lot during that time. The air got dirty and the sex got clean.

And loads more...

kaimera

Steven Seagal..worst line ever

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=6kPqI1VivAI

MySelf56

Blue Wire or Red Wire

faceman

c'mon guys, i cant believe no one has mentioned some of arnie's classics!

Whats da matter Hopper? CIA got you pushing too many pencils?

Gauge

I love Sin City but some of the lines are cheesy and badly delivered:

'You got a bum tickuuuur'- Christ Michael Madsen, that was awful.

'I tied those knots! That's my speciality!' Haha, that line just sounded so unconvincing and forced.

Dodge

Gauge wrote:

I love Sin City but some of the lines are cheesy and badly delivered

Deliberately so I thought.

Wacker

I loved Sin City, but Michael Madsen's performance in it was so pathetic that he should have to burn his screen actor's guild card (ten points to anyone who can tell me what movie I'm paraphrasing there). He made no effort whatsoever.
I really don't like Michael Madsen at all.

Slutmonkey57b

Pigman II wrote:

I'm a total SW apologist and have to mention that one aspect a lot of people miss about those movies is that the dialogue iis deliberately clunky in order to emulate the movie serials of the 30's and 40's - the format on which SW is based

You're giving Lucas Far, Far, Far, Faaaar too much credit there. There's nothing "deliberate" about the crapness of Star Wars films - they're just really really fu.cking terrible, that's all there is to it. He's an appalling writer. He's a hack of a director. Star Wars fandom is all, ultimately, based on lightsabre sounds. That's fine as far as it goes but let's not pretend there's anything more to the series than that. Little boys going "whummmmmm" and pretending to fight with light swords.

jackdaw

Most lines between NAtalie Portman and Hayden Christenson in the Star Wars
ep II and III films ...


terrible...

jackdaw

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

You're giving Lucas Far, Far, Far, Faaaar too much credit there. There's nothing "deliberate" about the crapness of Star Wars films - they're just really really fu.cking terrible, that's all there is to it. He's an appalling writer. He's a hack of a director. Star Wars fandom is all, ultimately, based on lightsabre sounds. That's fine as far as it goes but let's not pretend there's anything more to the series than that. Little boys going "whummmmmm" and pretending to fight with light swords.

Come on !!
the dialogue is terrible .. but its a fantastic story !!!

shane86

monkey tennis wrote: »

From Passenger 57:

Always bet on black!

First one i thought of as i clicked on the thread How Snipes could deliver it with a straight face I dont know (unless it was improvised, and he begged fr it to be cut but they refused)

Unless Im imagining it the cringiest one is from one of the Roger Moore Bonds (cant recall which). He is skiing his way down a mountain with machine gun toting KGB or whoever in persuit. His zig zaggy moves on the descent confuse the lads, and one accidentally skis over a huge bump and lands in a snow thresher where is he cut to pieces and shot out of the exit pipe. Bond quips

"Wow....he had some guts!" :eek:

Its so bad im not even sure if it was in the film and i dreamt it, im sure it was though.

conzy

Every Nicholas Cage line ever...

"Put the bunny back in the box!"

Gauge

No I believe the best Nicholas Cage line ever is:

'OH GOD NOT THE BEES NOOOO THEY'RE IN MY EYES BLAAAGGGHARBHGDDUYW'

kevmy

kaimera wrote: »

Steven Seagal..worst line ever

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=6kPqI1VivAI

Agree but then Segal has sooooo many bad lines it's hard to pick just one

Dont be at yourself

I love that Segal youtube clip. It's his completely dead-pan facial expression that does it. (though in fairness, that's seemingly his only facial expression...)

humanji

faceman wrote: »

c'mon guys, i cant believe no one has mentioned some of arnie's classics!

Whats da matter Hopper? CIA got you pushing too many pencils?

Ahh, I think every line he says in Commando fits into this category:

"Don't disturd my friend. He's dead tired."
"Remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied."
"Let off some steam Bennet!"
etc
etc

kaimera

kevmy wrote: »

Agree but then Segal has sooooo many bad lines it's hard to pick just one

NekkidBibleMan wrote: »

I love that Segal youtube clip. It's his completely dead-pan facial expression that does it. (though in fairness, that's seemingly his only facial expression...)

His expression & the fact that everyone else knows bloody well what he's gonna say yet he still drags it out!

Sam Vimes

i always thought this line from the end of american beauty was terrible:

sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and....


rain doesn't f**king flow, it falls. if its flowing, its no longer rain, its a stream

missingtime

The entire script from The Good The Bad And The Dead

monkey tennis

The World is Not Enough:

"Christmas comes but once a year..."

Holy Christ. Were they that desperate for an innuendo? Surely to hell they could have come up with something better. Even worse, this line makes me think the character was only named 'Christmas' so they could make that awful, cringeworthy attempt at a pun.

Deleted User wrote: »

"They sucked his brains out". Michael Ironside in Starship Troopers, it always makes me cringe. Its the way he says it, even in a film like Starship Troopers it sounds awfully out of place and incredibly cheesy.

Ha! No way, this was one of my favourite lines of ST - it sums up the kind of movie Verhoeven was going for.

Raekwon

Armageddon has some horrible cheesy dialogue but the bit when one of the Bruce Willis' crew walks up to Liv Lyler at the end and says:

"Mam, permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I have ever met?"

..........is shockingly bad.

dantes74

i'm going to bring this thread round full circle and suggest another patrick swayze movie
in the movie dirty dancing when he comes back to the dance hall and declares "nobody puts baby in a corner"
total cheese

Bodhidharma

There is a scene in The Crow when two cops are sittin in a parked police car eating donuts and drinking coffee (what else would they be doing) when a car speeds past them at high speed. The cop says "What the crap?". I always laugh at that scene, not only is it an awful, awful line, but its said with such a lack of acting ability that its hilarious.

I know the guy was only an extra with 3 words to say but christ he said them badly.

Wacker

Bodhidharma wrote: »

There is a scene in The Crow when two cops are sittin in a parked police car eating donuts and drinking coffee (what else would they be doing) when a car speeds past them at high speed. The cop says "What the crap?". I always laugh at that scene, not only is it an awful, awful line, but its said with such a lack of acting ability that its hilarious.

I know the guy was only an extra with 3 words to say but christ he said them badly.

Like in The Matrix, when Neo snatches the random dude's phone, and the guy yells: "What the sh*t?!? That's my phone! That guy took my phone!"

Who says "What the sh*t?" No one I know. Why not just have him shout "What the hell" or something. At least people actually talk that way.

Not that I wish to deride the Matrix too much; it does feature the monologue about how humanity is a virus, which was truly brilliant.

Necronomicon

I love in Predator when one of the soldiers says to Jesse Ventura "You're bleeding!" and Ventura turns around and says, "I don't have time to bleed."

StarryBud

Wacker wrote: »

Who says "What the sh*t?" No one I know. Why not just have him shout "What the hell" or something. At least people actually talk that way.

Curiously, there isn't a single 'f' word in all of The Matrix, yet the Wachowski's original script was peppered with them. Methinks they were originally going for a PG-13.

irishthump

I'll never forget seeing a particularly awful movie called Legends of the Fall. (Long story, suffice to say it was my wife's turn to pick the movie!)

Right at the end, Brad Pitt's character gets swung around with his head inside the jaws of a huge grizzly bear. The narrator syas - "It was a good death..."

Fu*k no!!!!!

Wacker

StarryBud wrote: »

Curiously, there isn't a single 'f' word in all of The Matrix, yet the Wachowski's original script was peppered with them. Methinks they were originally going for a PG-13.

To quote Lex Luthor from Superman Returns: "WWWRRROOONNNGGG!!!" There are actually four of them. All in Marilyn Manson's Rock is Dead, played in the end credits. Yes, I am actually that pedantic, thanks for asking.

Gordon

Once Upon A Time in Mexico:
"Are you a Mexican or a Mexican't?"

faceman

and how can we forget....

Con Air:

"put the bunny back in the box"

ClarenceOveur

Bodhidharma wrote: »

There is a scene in The Crow when two cops are sittin in a parked police car eating donuts and drinking coffee (what else would they be doing) when a car speeds past them at high speed. The cop says "What the crap?". I always laugh at that scene, not only is it an awful, awful line, but its said with such a lack of acting ability that its hilarious.

I know the guy was only an extra with 3 words to say but christ he said them badly.

Yeah that was funny! He says it about 2 mins later when the guy is thrown from a building and lands on the cop car below. The two cops get out and you can hear a faint "What the crap?!"