do you pay or does she or half?????

cork1

wat do people think? on a first date should d guy pay for everything or should the girl or should everything b split in half????

biko

How is this an issue for you personally????
OT, pay every other time usually with my gf. Sometimes split.

Edited to add more question marks.

mike65

If you intend a long term relationship................split! (you don't want her thinking you're a soft touch!)

Mike.

marie_85

Who asked out whom? And where are you going?

Usually, if I'm on a first date, I'll let the guy pay for dinner, I'll pay for the movie and we'll split the drinks etc. If we're just going for drinks, I'll let him buy the first two rounds, then I'll buy every other round after that.

Latchy

I hate meaness in a man ......and so do most wimin ,

you aint paying baby if ya go out with me on a date ,thats for sure ..........no i insist :cool:

BrandonBlock

I think you should pay on the 1st date, its not gonna break the bank.. 1 date. If things go well and you start going out regularly then split.

Latchy

Jesus just buy the gal a drink will ya , she might not fancy ya , but she will always remember ya for your kindness ........:p

Cheeky_gal

Cant believe OP you're asking this....OBVIOUSLY YOU pay.....can't imagine how long your dates have lasted with that been an issue....:p

Though the girl should ALWAYS offer....:D

BaZmO*

cork1 wrote:

wat do people think? on a first date should d guy pay for everything or should the girl or should everything b split in half????

When you meet this girl marry her, she's definitely a keeper.

Personally, when I'm on a date I'd offer to pay but if she doesn't at least offer to pay for a drink you pretty much know where you stand.

Latchy

Quote Cheeky_gal Cant believe OP you're asking this....OBVIOUSLY YOU pay.....can't imagine how long your dates have lasted with that been an issue....:p

Though the girl should ALWAYS offer....:D

My sentiments exactly Cheeky -gal , so tell us ........what are ya having ?

K-9

marie_85 wrote:

Who asked out whom? And where are you going?

That's a good rule of thumb!

marie_85 wrote:

Usually, if I'm on a first date, I'll let the guy pay for dinner, I'll pay for the movie and we'll split the drinks etc. If we're just going for drinks, I'll let him buy the first two rounds, then I'll buy every other round after that.

Why the first two?

mike65 wrote:

If you intend a long term relationship................split! (you don't want her thinking you're a soft touch!)

Agree generally.Though I don't split a dinner bill. Let her pay the next time! Too stingey looking! Actually I'd pay most of the time for dinner, but expect to be treated myself now and again.

Hate stingey women!

Cheeky_gal

latchyco wrote:

My sentiments exactly Cheeky -gal , so tell us ........what are ya having ?

ha, smirnoff ice or vodka tonic...I'll let you choose...:p

If we're goin all out tho bottle of the finest sancerre...;)

Expensive night....

K-9

Cheeky_gal wrote:

If we're goin all out tho bottle of the finest sancerre...;)

Ah, a girl who knows quality when she sees it!

Latchy

Cheeky_gal]ha, smirnoff ice or vodka tonic...I'll let you choose...:p

If we're goin all out tho bottle of the finest sancerre...;)

Expensive night....

Dont ya worry honey ......it's all taken care of hup (does his elvis curling lips expression ) se ya soon babe ............:cool:

The Sweeper

Oh get a goddamned room would ya?

If I ask someone out, I'm paying.

If they ask me out, I'll offer, but I expect them to offer too.

Esel

Not a PI!

marie_85

Seanies32 wrote:

Why the first two?

I don't know. I suppose because it's usually the case that they've asked me out and so while I want to pay my share, I still like to feel like I'm being treated. I'd never accept more than two drinks in a row from a guy though.

Strokesfan

If it's a meal I think the guy should automatically pay, even doing so sneakily "on a trip to the toilet" as a really kind gesture (esp. if you like the girl) - otherwise wait for the bill and see if she offers.

I myself, as a girl, would be happy to see the guy was willing to pay and then squabble for a half hour trying to give him my half - I always paid my way in relationships!

If it's drinks, you should definately buy the first drink, maybe the even the second one and slip in a cheeky joke about it being her round...

Wibbs

First date, man pays regardless if it's dinner. If it's a movie/theatre etc then whoever asks the other out pays(though even here as a man I would pay). If it's just drinks then play it by ear.

Money in couples can be a tough one. Breaks up a lot of long termers.

I will say I've been out with far too many women who think their money is their money and my money is "ours". I've been pleasantly surprised too, but more rarely. A general warning sign further into a relationship is when you loan her money and you see no sign of it coming back, you then ask for it back and she gets the hump. If this happens regularly drop her. You'll always be mr wallet and woe betide you if you fall on hard times.

For women I would say avoid cheap men. There's enough of them about. I've seen female mates of mine with serious freeloaders. Also avoid men who are financially clueless. This does not mean only go for rich guys, as they can be equally financially clueless. Basically you want a guy who understands finances and can handle a situation where he may be broke for a while, or can handle getting a windfall without blowing it on stupidities.

Actually both paragraphs are inter changeable for either gender.

Girl should always offer (and mean it) to split, but if he insists I won't object too much. But after that, I would insist on splitting. If not on the night, then he pays one night out and I'd pay another.

Wibbs

As a PS, I will say if the man pays a lot of the time(while giving the woman the option of paying), then it does work more in the mans favour in keeping her interest, all things being equal. Of course, this is at the very early part of the relationship, before it goes official. Even with equality etc, the "man the provider" lark obviously does still hold weight, especially in the early stages.

Women in general put more store in a potential mate's ability to "look after" her and provide security for her. Far more than a man. Very few men ever think of the financial security a women would provide for them. Generally the only time a man would even think along those lines is when the woman earns more than him. That can twist the knickers of insecure men in a big way.

Aoife9

marie_85 wrote:

Who asked out whom? And where are you going?

Usually, if I'm on a first date, I'll let the guy pay for dinner, I'll pay for the movie and we'll split the drinks etc. If we're just going for drinks, I'll let him buy the first two rounds, then I'll buy every other round after that.

I'd agree with this (except the first two rounds bit) it is a very fair way of splitting the cost.;)

Bored-Stupid

I agree that especially in cinema situations that the guy should pay on the first date but after that that maybe the fella pay for the tickets and the girls get the grub!

I went out with a girl who fell out with me because I wouldnt let her pay.Ended up she would never let me put my hand in my pocket! (she is single guys so if you want the number....;) )

But as previously stated you will know the sorta person your getting involved in when you see how stingy/loose they are with their dough and the effort to spend it!

jellie

Strokesfan wrote:

doing so sneakily "on a trip to the toilet" as a really kind gesture (esp. if you like the girl)

My bf did something similar on our 1st proper date & paid the bill before id even realised. i like to pay my way & definitely would have tried to pay half, but i thought it was sweet that hed gone ahead & done it. cant even explain why really..

Its a nice gesture in general to pay on the 1st date, but the girl should at least be offering to pay for SOMETHING, eg. if you go for dinner & then a few drinks, if the man insists on paying the dinner the girl should definitely be buying some of the drinks.

Fanny Cradock

Ah, here... It's only €50. Make a good impression and buy her the meal.

Agent Smith

Fanny Cradock wrote:

Ah, here... It's only €50. Make a good impression and buy her the meal.

Agreed

Cheeky_gal

bluewolf wrote:

Girl should always offer (and mean it) to split

Wouldn't it be funny tho if she offered (knowing he wasn't going to accept it) but he ACTUALLY turns around n goes "yea bril" n she has no money....haha ah bless!

Seanies32 wrote:

Ah, a girl who knows quality when she sees it!

Always......always....;)

Cheeky_gal

Cheeky_gal wrote:

Wouldn't it be funny tho if she offered (knowing he wasn't going to accept it) but he ACTUALLY turns around n goes "yea bril" n she has no money....haha ah bless!

Why on earth would she go out with no money? That's just daft.

Carsinian Thau

Depends on what she thinks really.
I tried to pay for taxis, drinks etc. once and when I refused an offer to split it almost caused an arguement.

Just play it by ear is my advice.
Also, shouldn't this really be more of an "After Hours" discussion?

sjaakie

come on people!!!! its 2007.. not 1907...

you each pay half offcourse.. also.. the girl/woman should insist that she pays half, if she doesnt do so you know what kind of girl she is and trouble awaits.

Doodee

depends.

When i was previously involved I used to pay on occasion and then on the other times she would.

Depends on weither you feel like treating her or visa versa. never got this paying halves malarky (unless it was for groceries) as I pay for pints for my friends and they will pay pints to me too.

Mind you, I do recall one occasion where I paid for a Taxi home for my GF of the time and received a kick in the bollox with a pair of Newrocks for my effort.

Dalfiatach

bluewolf wrote:

Girl should always offer (and mean it) to split, but if he insists I won't object too much. But after that, I would insist on splitting. If not on the night, then he pays one night out and I'd pay another.

There are sane women still out there lads...fair play to ya bluewolf!

I don't get the whole paying thing and the arguments it causes. It seems like an anachronistic hangover from Victorian times when women were supposed to be helpless swooning females and only men had jobs and could own property and vote.

Yis wanted equal rights girls. Yis wanted to be able to work and have real careers and get paid equally. But it's still the man's responsibility to pay for everything? Please. Ye can't have yer cake and eat it.

On a first date I'd insist, especially if I asked her out, even though I'm aware that's a hangover of older times as well...but if a relationship develops after that and the girl shows no willingness to actually put her hand in her pocket, then I'm outta there. I'm looking for a strong independent partner, not a little princess.

Cheeky_gal

Dalfiatach wrote:

On a first date I'd insist, especially if I asked her out, even though I'm aware that's a hangover of older times as well...but if a relationship develops after that and the girl shows no willingness to actually put her hand in her pocket, then I'm outta there. I'm looking for a strong independent partner, not a little princess.

I agree! No cash, no bash! Eeeeh....yea...:D

K-9

bluewolf wrote:

Why on earth would she go out with no money? That's just daft.

She may have got so used to the man spoiling her, the offer is made knowing full well he'll pay. Would be great to see that, hilarious!;)

dalfiatach wrote:

There are sane women still out there lads...fair play to ya bluewolf!

I don't get the whole paying thing and the arguments it causes. It seems like an anachronistic hangover from Victorian times when women were supposed to be helpless swooning females and only men had jobs and could own property and vote.

Yis wanted equal rights girls. Yis wanted to be able to work and have real careers and get paid equally. But it's still the man's responsibility to pay for everything? Please. Ye can't have yer cake and eat it.

On a first date I'd insist, especially if I asked her out, even though I'm aware that's a hangover of older times as well...but if a relationship develops after that and the girl shows no willingness to actually put her hand in her pocket, then I'm outta there. I'm looking for a strong independent partner, not a little princess.

That's exactly why women should pay their way. It's nice to be a gentleman sometimes, but if it's not appreciated, why bother?

Victor

sjaakie wrote:

come on people!!!! its 2007.. not 1907... you each pay half offcourse.. also.. the girl/woman should insist that she pays half, if she doesnt do so you know what kind of girl she is and trouble awaits.

Stop counting.

A relationship is give and take, if someone buys the cinema tickets the other should buy the munchies. If someone buys you dinner, be decent and buy them a drink after.

Seraphina

if the guy asked me out, it would be nice to be treated
however i always offer to pay and no one has ever refused.
after that it'll usually be a 'he got that so i'll get this' kind of situation

MagicMarker

I'd pay.... but i have been on dates where the girl insisted and actually wouldn't take no for an answer. I don't mind this and i am very respectful of it.

King of Kings

Cheeky_gal wrote:

Cant believe OP you're asking this....OBVIOUSLY YOU pay.....can't imagine how long your dates have lasted with that been an issue....:p

Though the girl should ALWAYS offer....:D

for real?
50/50 if your going out with the king. albeit it;s not a dead on 50/50 (i'm not talking to the cent folks) if i buy dinner - you'd better buy drinks.
i hate scabby women.

*Angel*

I like the whole idea of the guy paying on the 1st date but from there on split.

Latchy

Quote minsajackdanials - Oh get a goddamned room would ya?

Ok i buy the drinks , Cheekygirl can pay for the room ......huh !:p

FruitLover

Whoever did the asking out should pay for the first 'date' (did I just wake up in America? ). Any subsequent meet-ups, it should be split.

Still, I always make it clear that she's paying if she expects to get any later.

SingingCherry

I've always just paid if I asked him out, or expected him to pay if he asked me out. Why would you invite someone out and not expect to pay for them.

As for the person should always offer -- I think that's stupid. If they SHOULD ALWAYS offer, that means they don't necessarily mean it. They should offer if they like, but if they didn't I don't think it's a dealbreaker. I wouldn't expect a guy to offer if I asked him out. Now that I'm married, we take turns on who is treating the other.

SarahMc

Cheeky_gal wrote:

Cant believe OP you're asking this....OBVIOUSLY YOU pay.....can't imagine how long your dates have lasted with that been an issue....:p

Though the girl should ALWAYS offer....:D

Second this, rules get murky after first date, but first date etiquette is clear in most girl's minds.

JohnnyStones

you pay on the first date imo;you want to impress her right?

showing her that your a scrooge on your first date is silly, she can find that out later:D :cool:

Clare Bear

I always pay half. There's times when they say no and want to treat you for whatever reason (and I'd do the same back on certain occasions) but in general I think girls should pay half, any girl that thinks guys should pay for everything needs to be gotten rid of and fast.

Cheeky_gal

King of Kings wrote:

for real?
50/50 if your going out with the king. albeit it;s not a dead on 50/50 (i'm not talking to the cent folks) if i buy dinner - you'd better buy drinks.
i hate scabby women.

for real dude...;)

monkeyfudge

I always pay.

But then I am a very boring date, so it's the least I can do for the poor girl who has had to put up with me.

sjaakie

SarahMc wrote:

Second this, rules get murky after first date, but first date etiquette is clear in most girl's minds.

bull !!! what if the second date never comes? y end up always having first dates

King of Kings

Cheeky_gal wrote:

for real dude...;)

guess you can cross me off your list so.
(shot down before we've meet )

funnily enough I've never encountered a girl in last 18 months who expected
a freebie. They've always paid for something - resembling 50% (ish - it's not science)
then again - different strokes -and that' why some people aren't compatible.

batman2000

Cheeky_gal wrote:

Cant believe OP you're asking this....OBVIOUSLY YOU pay.....can't imagine how long your dates have lasted with that been an issue....:p

Though the girl should ALWAYS offer....:D

I also agree with Cheeky_gal....On a first date, the guy should pay for the dinner, then if ye go for a few drinks, it would be nice if she bought the first round. All going well after then split it. It's only fair........At least Cheeky_gal your down to earth and don't have silly expectations like some girls do....

estar

cork1 wrote:

wat do people think? on a first date should d guy pay for everything or should the girl or should everything b split in half????

insist on paying. she should offer. but you pay for the first and / or second date

then she should pay for every second drink in a round, or make things kind of even by cooking for you, buying cinema tickets, or making up the spend difference.