how to make new friends

LegacyUser

well it's saturday night and i'm in watching tv like every other saturday night. i moved to dublin for work and i just haven't been able to make friends here. i go home most weekends cause there's nothing for me to do up here but it's a 4 hour journey so going home every weekend can be a bit tiring after a long week. i work in a small place where everyone is much older. i just want some advice on how to meet new people. i'm 26 and very friendly and good fun to be around (i think!)...i'm not really in to sports or have any sort of interests that would involve meeting people.....just wondering if there's any websites out there that have social meet ups in pubs etc. that's what i want mainly, just to be able to go out for a few drinks on a saturday night with some fun people. are there any sites like this? like dating sites except just for friends? thanks in advance.

Latchy

Sorry to hear of your situation , you sound very lonley .It cant be much fun stuck in on saturday nights ,living in a big city with few if any friends .
I dont know about dating sites in Dublin , i dont live there anymore but perhaps and hopefully you might find like minded people on here living in Dublin ? Hope it comes good for you ,If you ever feel like a chat anytime feel free to pm me ......

SuperSean11

im thinking clubs anything youd like to try ???

mikemac

Not sure about dating sites OP but you can be sure there of thousands of culchies in your situation tonight as well
Check out speed dating though, it's good craic and a great laugh.
Usually held on week nights though.
Yes, I know you want to make friends and not neccesarily date people.

It's a pity you aren't into sports as some GAA/soccer clubs have bars.
Seriously is there any sport you're into? My gym (Westwood Clontarf) has a bar and there are always members nights and also specific member nights for the clubs, tennis/climbing/swimming, etc/

The guys in the Dublin forum were talking about a Luas and a Dart pub crawl. Sounds like a genius idea. Maybe see if these things are guided by some travel rep and even if it's done on informal basis you might be able to tag along.

I've never been to a boards beers but they seem like good craic too

tSubh Dearg

Do you sing? Would you consider joining a choir? They are very sociable groups and you really get to know a large group of people that you would never normally meet. (I realise with this post and my other one it must sound like I'm recruiting, but I'm not, I've just found that choirs are very sociable things to be in)

Also, this website regularly organises nights out. Just check out the events forum under Sys. There's going to be a fancy dress halloween beers and I bet there'll be at least one other meet up before that one.

New people are always welcome to come along and once again you get to meet people you never normally would.

dame

I had the same situation when I was working in Cork. I'm afraid the only thing to do is get out there. Start smiling and talking to every neighbour you meet (especially ones of a similar age and especially girls (fellas might think you're trying to chat them up or stalking them or something)), introduce yourself, tell them you're new to the place, ask them what there is to do around, do they know any good spots to go of a Saturday night etc. Ask them do they fancy coming in for a cup of coffee/tea. Just generally be nice and friendly and people will start to reciprocate and before you know it you'll have made one or two friends who'll be popping in and out, asking you to join them on nights out etc. You'd be surprised how many of your neighbours might even feel a bit lonely and not know many people themselves. Someone has to be brave and make the first move. Best of luck!

SuperSean11

tSubh Dearg wrote:

Do you sing? Would you consider joining a choir? .

Just what i was thinking

Titan123

Im sorry to hear that I know that this city can be tough even if you have lived here your whole life, I have spent my saturdays alone alot

Overheal

tSubh Dearg wrote:

Do you sing? Would you consider joining a choir? They are very sociable groups and you really get to know a large group of people that you would never normally meet. (I realise with this post and my other one it must sound like I'm recruiting, but I'm not, I've just found that choirs are very sociable things to be in)

Also, this website regularly organises nights out. Just check out the events forum under Sys. There's going to be a fancy dress halloween beers and I bet there'll be at least one other meet up before that one.

New people are always welcome to come along and once again you get to meet people you never normally would.

What, is it recruitment night or something?:p

In any new place I would start with your local'est pub and branch out soon after. Like has already been said, you should be outward with people you meet; even if its just the person working at the newsagents where you buy your cigarettes and your milk.

But when you start in that pub look out for community events

sjaakie

hi.. adult education classes just started this week on loads of school in and around Dublin.. you can still enroll for classes. Lots of things to do, lots of singles taking classes.. dont know which part of town you live in, if you live in north / west ... Hartstown community school, coolmine etc. just google it.

gl.. and if you want to chat, feel free to pm me.. i know how loneliness feels

Maynooth

You're looking for social sites....have you tried another friend. com? I think that's more than a dating site, you can look for friends on there too.

odarallo

Hey,

I dont think going to a club alone with the intention of makeing friends is a good idea. Because in my experience all you get is perverts looking for one thing. Have you made any friends from work? What kinda work do you do. Most big companies have a social club and they do odd things now and again. But this can help you make some new friends in the work place to go out with on weekends.

If not have you tried any clubs that might be of interest to you. Like a dance club thats on during week and you can then go out weekends with them etc. I have never had problems with makeing friends the problem is keeping them But if you plan on meeting someone from a social network from the internet PLEASE be very carefull. Im sure i dont need to warn ya!

Hope everything works out for ya if u want any help just msg moi.

Ciao /beijos

Nailz

Titan123 wrote:

Im sorry to hear that I know that this city can be tough even if you have lived here your whole life, I have spent my saturdays alone alot

Hey... do you two feel like meeting up ?

MayMay

Don't you have to pay for that Brightlights thing?

Kazbah

Volunteer one evening a week for a homeless charity and you will meet lots of other people.

pretty-in-pink

tSubh Dearg wrote:

Do you sing? Would you consider joining a choir? They are very sociable groups and you really get to know a large group of people that you would never normally meet. (I realise with this post and my other one it must sound like I'm recruiting, but I'm not, I've just found that choirs are very sociable things to be in)

Also, this website regularly organises nights out. Just check out the events forum under Sys. There's going to be a fancy dress halloween beers and I bet there'll be at least one other meet up before that one.

New people are always welcome to come along and once again you get to meet people you never normally would.

you bet right.

Check the events forum OP

MayMay

newfriends4u.com might be worth a try?

biko

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends
http://www.makefriendsonline.com/
http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html
http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671723650

Star Lord

As Pretty-in-Pink said come along to one of the boards meetups! We're all quite a friendly bunch, and you'll probably finding yourself getting quite friendly with some of us, at which point you'll be invited along to other nights out etc!

If you're nervous about going to a group meeting like that, but would like to go, feel free to PM me, I'm more than willing to meet up beforehand so you might feel a little more comfortable before going on to meet up with the rest of them!

I know this works, because I was in exactly the same situation as you, where I had nothing to do in Dublin and no-one to just hang around with for a long time. Now I'm loving it here!

How Strange

lonely lady... i'm 26 and very friendly and good fun to be around (i think!)...i'm not really in to sports or have any sort of interests that would involve meeting people.....just wondering if there's any websites out there that have social meet ups in pubs etc. that's what i want mainly, just to be able to go out for a few drinks on a saturday night with some fun people. are there any sites like this? like dating sites except just for friends? thanks in advance.

OP, the suggestion to go to the next boards night out seems to be a good one.

You said you wanted to meet people that you could go out for a few drinks on a Saturday night with but I think this is probably a little unrealistic. IMO, Saturday night is reserved for family and friends for most people. Maybe I'm wrong and thats just me.

You seem very closed off to the idea of sports or hobbies and are only considering websites. Why is this?

There have been lots of great suggestions - join a choir, volunteer, take an evening course. IMHO, you are in a new city and you don't have any life here. You have no friends, no interests, nothing to do except go to work. You need to put down some roots in Dublin and start to make it feel like your home. If you are dead against sports and hobbies then consider volunteering for a charity. You will meet people along the way that you have something in common with.

What you need is to meet people on a deeper level than superficially for a few drinks on a Saturday night. You seem genuinely lonely and meeting via a website for a drink or two won't resolve the loneliness. The only way to do this is to make a life for yourself in Dublin. Start doing things in the evening, whatever it is, broaden your horizons a little and very soon you will start to make friends but proper genuine friends who share the same interests as you.

james123

Have the exact same problem living in citywest same age and everything give me a PM if you come up with any ideas

panda100

Isnt there a boards beers on Halloween?

Porkpie

Guys,

I've noticed alot of similar threads on this site regarding loneliness and difficulties making friends. I've made my best friends through school and work, I think it's the same for alot of people. There comes a time, though, when friends settle down/get married/move abroad and you're left with fewer buddies than you once had.

I'm in my mid 20's now and I find that it definitely gets harder to make new friends as you get older. I only have a couple of really close friends that I don't get to see as often as I like.

OP, I feel your pain I was abroad before in Switzerland where I knew nobody. I spent over a year with no real close friends. My social calendar isn't exactly full at the moment either.

I definitely think the boards night out thing is a great idea, I only found out about it there myself through previous messages. I'll definitely go along some night. Alternatively, try to find some common ground with people, possibly through a new hobbie/part time course/volunteer work. I've done salsa classes, public speaking classes, yoga. Okay, none of them was exactly my passion (they don't have to be!) but at least you're sharing an activity with others and being sociable, which will help.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

OP, feel free to PM me any time, I'm not a weirdo or pervert I swear! :cool:

John Mason

Hey, i feel your pain, we have all been in that situation at one point in our lives. I live close enough to the city centre, PM me if you ever need to talk - this city is a bit.ch to meet people in and i am sorry to all you Dubs but you are not a friendly bunch at all

Oh and boards beers are great fun but watch out, people keep trying to put their Tongues down your throat :-p

Star Lord

irishbird wrote:

Oh and boards beers are great fun but watch out, people keep trying to put their Tongues down your throat :-p

I beg to differ, I've been at boards beers and neither tried to put my tongue down someones throat or had someone try to put their tongue down my throat. Ya trying to put people off going to them for some reason? :eek:

Rob_l

DamoElDiablo wrote:

I beg to differ, I've been at boards beers and neither tried to put my tongue down someones throat or had someone try to put their tongue down my throat. Ya trying to put people off going to them for some reason? :eek:

I think it may have been in jest or you may just be ugly and shy

John Mason

DamoElDiablo wrote:

I beg to differ, I've been at boards beers and neither tried to put my tongue down someones throat or had someone try to put their tongue down my throat. Ya trying to put people off going to them for some reason? :eek:

i was joking (kinda), may be it was just me then :cool:

Porkpie

Sounds like fun, I'm definitely going!

newestUser

Porkpie wrote:

Guys,

I've noticed alot of similar threads on this site regarding loneliness and difficulties making friends. I've made my best friends through school and work, I think it's the same for alot of people. There comes a time, though, when friends settle down/get married/move abroad and you're left with fewer buddies than you once had.

I'm in my mid 20's now and I find that it definitely gets harder to make new friends as you get older. I only have a couple of really close friends that I don't get to see as often as I like.

OP, I feel your pain I was abroad before in Switzerland where I knew nobody. I spent over a year with no real close friends. My social calendar isn't exactly full at the moment either.

I definitely think the boards night out thing is a great idea, I only found out about it there myself through previous messages. I'll definitely go along some night. Alternatively, try to find some common ground with people, possibly through a new hobbie/part time course/volunteer work. I've done salsa classes, public speaking classes, yoga. Okay, none of them was exactly my passion (they don't have to be!) but at least you're sharing an activity with others and being sociable, which will help.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

OP, feel free to PM me any time, I'm not a weirdo or pervert I swear! :cool:

Someone in a similar situation posted something like the above recently:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055151373

I replied to that thread in order to express my opinion on the notion that you can't make friends after your mid twenties. I won't repeat myself, you can read the thread yourself (brief summary: you can make friends at any age)

Latchy

Oh and boards beers are great fun but watch out, people keep trying to put their Tongues down your throat :-p

A lot of desperate and sexually frustated people out there .......lol

Star Lord

Rob_l wrote:

I think it may have been in jest or you may just be ugly and shy

A little from column A, a little from column B...

iamlegend

Try Gumtree.ie......there are some normal people in there.

digitally-yours

I don't think you have a problem finding friends you have problem keeping them

what i mean is that you had friends in past but they are not around.

I have spend weekends alone.
some time you need to accept life as it is and then try to change it.

I am sure there are loads of people on boards who are in same circumstances as you.

Try dating websites to make friends and then who knows where it might take you.

bostonian

the net isn't my bag for meeting people- i'd much rather go take salsa lessons on singles night or something. anything "singles night" is always good craic, like the speed dating mentioned before.

what do you like to do? find a group of ppl who do anything you like and join or hang out, then just be talkative or inquisitive.

MattKid

You really do have to put yourself out there and make 'what can often seem like enormous effort' I moved over here last April and because I work from home, I don't have friends from work. I seem to get talking to tourists on nights out which doesn't help increase the social circle but it's better than standing alone for the evening. you just got to keep trying and looking for oportunities.

The dark nights are helping much either.

You're not the only one out there, chin up

fasty

I'm in the same boat at the moment. I'm 28 and most of my school
friends have settled down with girlfriends but I'm still single. I've
lost touch with my college friends and making new friends is very
tough because I'm a quiet person. Not shy, just AWFUL at small talk to
the point where it feels like this major blocking factor.

Losing touch with some of these people was my own fault. My health was
pretty poor for a while and I didn't handle it well.

I explained this to my closest friends and since, I've tried renewing
contact with them as much as possible but they have lives. Likewise I
work as a developer on a small company and everyone here is a bit
older and again, has their own lives. We're outside of Dublin city so
there isn't much openings for pints after work when you need to drive.

I'll have to look into the club and volunteer thing. I've joined the
gym but I haven't met anyone through that so far. I'm also planning on
living in a shared house so I at least have some flatmates to talk to
as opposed to reading or playing videogames when I get home from work.

Clare Bear

james123 wrote:

Have the exact same problem living in citywest same age and everything give me a PM if you come up with any ideas

Beers in the Longstone on Friday night (it's in the Events forum), come to that?