How to get him

Lorrs33

There's a guy in my college who I want to ask out, but I've been turned down in the past so my confidence is a bit low. I've never spoken to him, except to say thank you for holding the door open for me, I just see him around. I was thinking of making friendly conversation first, but how would I approach the situation? Bearing in mind he's constantly listening to his iPod when he's alone.

muboop1

just go up and talk! ders no specific way! just give it a go! worst case scenario u decide u dont like him! who cares!

Knockoff Nige

I often wonder why girls have a problem approaching guys as they will always get a better response than the vice versa. Basically, make it obvious you are interested. Generally, guys respond well to this. Not as often the case the other way around.

From my own perspective, I'm always very flattered when a girl (whether I fancy her or not) is interested in me (hey I maybe gorgeous but its still flattering lol). Basically, if you feel you have a chance, you definitely do. Go up, make constant eye contact while talking to him an enquire about his weekend plans. Some guys are stupid and wont pickup on that but trust me, they are just stupid.

Ruu_Old

Try to be yourself, introduce yourself, find out what he does in college, etc and see how things go from there. Good luck.

panda100

In my honest optinion and through years of abundant experinece asking a guy out never works........unless your really really subtle about it.Id try and sit beside him in one of your lectures and ask him a question about the course and then just start chatting to him from there. I wouldnt hold out much hope though after this conversation.Genreally If a guy hasnt tried to initate some sort of contact he's not that intrested.

Knockoff Nige

panda100 wrote:

In my honest optinion and through years of abundant experinece asking a guy out never works........unless your really really subtle about it.Id try and sit beside him in one of your lectures and ask him a question about the course and then just start chatting to him from there. I wouldnt hold out much hope though after this conversation.Genreally If a guy hasnt tried to initate some sort of contact he's not that intrested.

I dont agree. Of course just going up to a guy and asking him out is a no no, as it is the other way around. But if you flirt and keep eye contact while making it obvious your free at the weekend, he's either ask you out or get scared. If the latter happens he's obviously very inexperienced and might need you to work harder on it (if you're still interested)

But I do admire panda100 for effort. I'm pro-girls asking guys out.

panda100

Knockoff Nige wrote:

But if you flirt and keep eye contact while making it obvious your free at the weekend, he's either ask you out or get scared.
.

Guys arent stupid.If your going to stand there flicking your hair,looking into his eyes and flirting while asking him what his plans are for the weekend most guys will cop onto the fact that your asking them out.In my expereinece and in most of my friends, guys in general dont like this and I speak from a lot,a lot of experience of doing this before.
If you really want something to happen with this guy then you'll just have to wait for him to notice you and if he doesnt notice you then he obviously didnt feel anything for you or fancy you to begin with.

Talliesin

"Hello" is always a good start.

Knockoff Nige

panda100 wrote:

Guys arent stupid.If your going to stand there flicking your hair,looking into his eyes and flirting while asking him what his plans are for the weekend most guys will cop onto the fact that your asking them out.In my expereinece and in most of my friends, guys in general dont like this and I speak from a lot,a lot of experience of doing this before.
If you really want something to happen with this guy then you'll just have to wait for him to notice you and if he doesnt notice you then he obviously didnt feel anything for you or fancy you to begin with.

No,sorry, I really really disagree with this. Girls have the same opportunity to ask a guy out as the other way around (in fact moreso). When I said flirt I didnt mean say that you are mad for it and he is it. lol. (that would actually work). What I really mean is to portray yourself as interested, not sex mad.

Overheal

I know when Im cranking music and walking and wearing sunglasses in ****ty weather and toting socks and sandals (yeah - im weird ) what works is to just walk up, wave, smile, slow down...

Then I take off the fake ears and have a listen to what you have to say because at that point sure why the hell not: you've made a decent attempt to say howrya!

What I would do is find something like a House Party or what not that you could invite him to: just say 'ya theres this house party bla bla bla bring your friends if you want its gonna be fun'

If you want to give him a better nudge, ask him what he drinks and say that you already have that a little stocked but you could always use some more - then run off to the offy to buy a moderate supply

thats your game plan! Go with it! Set! 22! Blue 22! Hut Hut!

but yeah seriously with that framework all you need is not to get nervous or anything and speak eau naturale.

panda100

Knockoff Nige wrote:

Girls have the same opportunity to ask a guy out as the other way around (in fact moreso). .

On paper I agree with you it sounds great and in this day and age a girl should be able to ask a guy out.Im just saying that in my experience and in most of my friends it doesnt work.
So to save yourself a lot of heartache and frustrating converstaions with him just wait till he notices you first and initiates the conversation.

Orizio

panda100 wrote:

On paper I agree with you it sounds great and in this day and age a girl should be able to ask a guy out.Im just saying that in my experience and in most of my friends it doesnt work.
So to save yourself a lot of heartache and frustrating converstaions with him just wait till he notices you first and initiates the conversation.

Which of course may not ever happen.Maybe he is too shy to start a conversation?

I wouls suggest either befriending one of his friends, or better simply talk directly to him yourself. Don't simply ask him out straight, talk to him for a bit and get to know him.But you should be pro-active and initiate the first conversation.

Honestly the guy who doesn't like a good looking girl coming up and talking to him simply doesn't exist.

Overheal

Cant we all realise that starting the conversation is the only battle? -_-

Just get him to a social spot, and start asking a few opener questions. It really ought to unfold of its own accord after that.

Miss Fluff

Put a note in his hand next time he's on his iPod saying:

Hey there, was hoping to be able to tell you my number but you are always on your iPod;) Here it is anyway 12345678, maybe we could meet for a drink some evening?, OP

Edit: I did something like that a few months ago, the guy was sitting beside his girlfriend:eek: However, they were really nice and had a good laugh about it so it is an ice-breaker, why not eh?;)

DonkeyStyle \o/

panda100 wrote:

Guys arent stupid.If your going to stand there flicking your hair,looking into his eyes and flirting while asking him what his plans are for the weekend most guys will cop onto the fact that your asking them out.

I beg to differ... having been (on more than one occasion) the gobshíte standing there on the receiving end of such a pickup, nodding and chatting away before going ".... well.... see ya" at the end of it all... I can say with some authority that some of us are that tuned-out.
Try harder tbh

ciotog

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote:

I beg to differ... having been (on more than one occasion) the gobshíte standing there on the receiving end of such a pickup, nodding and chatting away before going ".... well.... see ya" at the end of it all... I can say with some authority that some of us are that tuned-out.
Try harder tbh

Have to agree with you there, some of us need a bit more of a direct nudge than subtlety

Overheal

if we need more than a few nudges (like I said) then he might not be interested in that way?

Knockoff Nige

Overheal wrote:

if we need more than a few nudges (like I said) then he might not be interested in that way?

Not necessarily. I think guys are often stupid in these situations. However, even if he is not, he might just be trying to be overly cautious and not go 'yep, great, I'll go out with you' when in fact the girl is just asking whats his plans for the weekend.

Zambia

Decent blokes help girls find something he is good at and ask can he help you in that area.

No -one state the obivous:rolleyes:

John Mason

panda100 wrote:

Guys arent stupid.If your going to stand there flicking your hair,looking into his eyes and flirting while asking him what his plans are for the weekend most guys will cop onto the fact that your asking them out..

you dont know a lot of men do you? unless you turn around and sayl to a bloke hey you, i like the look of you, do you want go for many beersm they are not going to have a clue you like them and to honest even at that some of them dont get it

ciotog

irishbird wrote:

you dont know a lot of men do you? unless you turn around and sayl to a bloke hey you, i like the look of you, do you want go for many beersm they are not going to have a clue you like them and to honest even at that some of them dont get it

Ah, now you're just being vindictive You had me at 'many beers'.

newestUser

panda100 wrote:

On paper I agree with you it sounds great and in this day and age a girl should be able to ask a guy out.Im just saying that in my experience and in most of my friends it doesnt work.
So to save yourself a lot of heartache and frustrating converstaions with him just wait till he notices you first and initiates the conversation.

I'm still not convinced.

I've ended up going out with girls before who'd done the asking out. I don't think it's a blanket rule that guys will never go out with a girl who asks them out, maybe you were just unlucky.

Most people will get turned down more often than not anyway.

Zambia

irishbird wrote:

you dont know a lot of men do you? unless you turn around and sayl to a bloke hey you, i like the look of you, do you want go for many beersm they are not going to have a clue you like them and to honest even at that some of them dont get it

Sigh this is true , lord help us we are just not that bright:o

newestUser

irishbird wrote:

you dont know a lot of men do you? unless you turn around and sayl to a bloke hey you, i like the look of you, do you want go for many beersm they are not going to have a clue you like them and to honest even at that some of them dont get it

This is true. Girls do lots of things to indicate they're interested in guys that go straight over blokes heads. Guys are *dumb* when it comes to picking up on signals, we're not used to it, and we tend to assume that most gestures are innocent, because 9 times out of 10 they are.

Jumpy

panda100 wrote:

Guys arent stupid.If your going to stand there flicking your hair,looking into his eyes and flirting while asking him what his plans are for the weekend most guys will cop onto the fact that your asking them out.In my expereinece and in most of my friends, guys in general dont like this and I speak from a lot,a lot of experience of doing this before.
If you really want something to happen with this guy then you'll just have to wait for him to notice you and if he doesnt notice you then he obviously didnt feel anything for you or fancy you to begin with.

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

This is so wrong. We are blind to hints, even if we were wearing hint-goggles, they do nothing (heh, see what I did there).

I am the blindest of the blind when it comes to this.

Vegeta

panda100 wrote:

If you really want something to happen with this guy then you'll just have to wait for him to notice you and if he doesnt notice you then he obviously didnt feel anything for you or fancy you to begin with.

panda, I mean no offense by this as I think you're not far wrong but just a bit misguided, but this is very bad advice.

I would love if a girl asked me out. I would instantly turn bright red and become very shy but I would be totally flattered.

If single and a girl i liked asked me out it would be a definite yes.

Wouldn't the world be a much better place if people who liked each other could just come out and bloody say it

Overheal

Jumpy wrote:

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

This is so wrong. We are blind to hints, even if we were wearing hint-goggles, they do nothing (heh, see what I did there).

I am the blindest of the blind when it comes to this.

Ze Goggles... ZEY DO NOSZING!

:rolleyes:

what signals are we talking about here? turning you left foot 3/4 to the right? fixing your hair? pulling a piece of paper out of you back pocket? Signalling a curve ball to the Catcher?



I also recommend direct eye contact. Very helpful.

Drift

A few points:

1. Men can't read signals .... no ifs, buts, maybes or anything else. No amount of what you see as subtle signalling or hinting will get a guy to ask you out because he won't see these signals. If you want a date with him ask him out.

2. Men like when a girl asks them out, its an ego boost to know someone fancies you.

3. The answer may not always be yes. At a young age men realise that women will more often refuse their advances than accept them. For girls this is not a lesson they HAVE to learn because it's socially acceptable for them never to ask anyone out. I think sometimes when girls ask a guy out and he says no they make the general assumption that guys don't want to be asked out by girls. It could be that this guy just doesn't fancy you. Its no biggie, onwards to the next one. If all of us guys made that assumption the first time a girl said no to us the human race would be in BIG trouble due to lack of baby making activity .

So if you like a guy, ask him out. If he says no you've lost nothing. If he says yes you've got a date. If you never ask him out and try "hinting" there's a big chance he won't have a clue you like him and an even bigger chance he'll never ask you out.

sobriquet

newestUser wrote:

This is true. Girls do lots of things to indicate they're interested in guys that go straight over blokes heads. Guys are *dumb* when it comes to picking up on signals, we're not used to it, and we tend to assume that most gestures are innocent, because 9 times out of 10 they are.

There's an important truth here. In many cases blokes will be oblivious to the hints that are being doled out because we're simply not picking them up, but when we do tune in, we're also picking up all the other signals that might mean something negative, or more likely nothing at all.

So if one set of signals means nothing, maybe the 'interested' signals do too. Classic example is the playing with hair thing, great, she's interested. But oh noes, she has her arms folded, what does that mean? One is positive, the other negative, maybe they cancel out? Maybe it's just her, she's flirty by nature and treats everyone like that? Wait, she's gone off to her mates, where do I stand now?

Point being, signals are pretty much useless if there's any noise in the channel at all. Similarly, I've heard women complain about giving off 'obvious' hints and not being picked up. Clue: hints are hints because they're not obvious. If they were obvious, they wouldn't be hints.

panda100 wrote:

guys will cop onto the fact that your asking them out.

From my own experience, which friends have echoed, this isn't always the case. I have and other blokes I know have had the experience of chatting to a girl, getting all the good signals; and then doing something about it only to be rebuffed. (Bonus points if she gets huffy about how, God, you can't just be nice to blokes, sheesh.) Most blokes with a little experience will have come across stuff like this, and it colours later encounters. Way it goes really.

Come to think of it:

panda100 wrote:

there flicking your hair,looking into his eyes and flirting while asking him what his plans are for the weekend

Is that being asked out? Holy ****, I've been asked out loads then. Or maybe women who are flirty by nature are just idling inquiring about what's on in town. (And yes, I've found this out the hard way.) Unless you're extending your intended date a specific invitation to something, it's not asking out. I'm guilty of this myself though, I'd say we all are. Extend an open invitiation to something or other, hope they turn up and that it progresses organically from there. Not worked much for me personally. Ah crap, there went my lunchbreak.

ciotog

Lorrs33 wrote:

but how would I approach the situation? Bearing in mind he's constantly listening to his iPod when he's alone.

If he's quite into his music you could use that as an ice-breaker. Have you overheard any of the music he listens to? There's always to the cheesey 'hey you like so-and-so as well'. Anything which gets a few words exchanged is a start.

Mr. Incognito

Have you learned nothing from the Diet Coke ads.

ASK HIM OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

marie_85

Sheesh. How about something simple like smiling at him and asking him if he has the time. (Make sure you're NOT wearing a watch when you ask him this) Then casually start a conversation with him, even saying something simple like 'Oh thank god, I thought I was going to be late for English etc etc' and let this lead into a conversation.

Would have to agree that it's not always a great idea for a girl to ask a guy out. I know it's old fashioned, and some girls today can get away with it, but for me personally, it doesn't work. And stop generalising guys, some of them do pick up on hints.

Knockoff Nige

marie_85 wrote:

Sheesh. How about something simple like smiling at him and asking him if he has the time. (Make sure you're NOT wearing a watch when you ask him this) Then casually start a conversation with him, even saying something simple like 'Oh thank god, I thought I was going to be late for English etc etc' and let this lead into a conversation.

Would have to agree that it's not always a great idea for a girl to ask a guy out. I know it's old fashioned, and some girls today can get away with it, but for me personally, it doesn't work. And stop generalising guys, some of them do pick up on hints.

Actually, all guys pick up on hints but mostly only when their mates are getting the hints from a girl. Its not as obvious for some reason when its 1 on 1.

Also, saying 'let this lead into a conversation' works if you know how to lead it lead into a conversation. Saying 'i thought I was going to be late for english' does not spark up a conversation. It just makes it sound like 'i'm in a hurry, stop holding me up'.

stcatherine

Is there like a refectory at college, where he might go for a snack or drink at break, you could try sitting near him (this always worked for me and my buddy too)

Ignore all that other stuff about "if hes interested he'll come to you" and "if he hasn't noticed you by now he won't" .... they sound like the types of things only bitter people say !

Life is far too short not to have the balls to ask a guy out plain and simple. If he's a nice decent guy he will either say

Yeah that'd be great
Sorry I'm not interested
Sorry I have a girlfriend but I'm flattered

if he runs away scared or comes out with some offensive crap you wouldn't really want to date him anyway would you ?

Seeing as he's always listening to his iPod why not just ask what he's listening to, this has worked for me in the past too, but only because we were both into the same music !

Oh and asking him out and being rejected is not that bad either because now your on his radar and suddenly he starts seeing you everywhere and before you know it .. he's asking you out !! (been there done that too )

panda100

Vegeta wrote:

I would love if a girl asked me out. I would instantly turn bright red and become very shy but I would be totally flattered.
If single and a girl i liked asked me out it would be a definite yes.

Of course you would as would anyone.Its extremely flattering being asked out of course!However,i note the words in your sentence'If a girl I liked'. The op's crush object has seen the op,if he liked her he would have tried to get chatting to her or smiled or made some sort of move to show he liked her or wanted to get to know her a bit more. The fact that he has given no signals means that more than likely he's not that into her.
Undoubtely the majority of guys like a bit of a chase and a bit of excitment at the beginning of a new relationship.By asking him out your taking all of that away from the guy.
Im just speaking from my own expereience.Every relationship where Ive asked the guy out or made the first move has always ended in tears.You will always have that doubt that he didnt notice you first and he didnt make the effort to ask you out.
If you just want a bit of fun then yeah ask the guy out but If you'd like something long term with this guy then in the long run its best to wait till he notices you.

Knockoff Nige

panda100 wrote:

Of course you would as would anyone.Its extremely flattering being asked out of course!However,i note the words in your sentence'If a girl I liked'. The op's crush object has seen the op,if he liked her he would have tried to get chatting to her or smiled or made some sort of move to show he liked her or wanted to get to know her a bit more. The fact that he has given no signals means that more than likely he's not that into her.
Undoubtely the majority of guys like a bit of a chase and a bit of excitment at the beginning of a new relationship.By asking him out your taking all of that away from the guy.
Im just speaking from my own expereience.Every relationship where Ive asked the guy out or made the first move has always ended in tears.You will always have that doubt that he didnt notice you first and he didnt make the effort to ask you out.
If you just want a bit of fun then yeah ask the guy out but If you'd like something long term with this guy then in the long run its best to wait till he notices you.

Well, no offence to you but I think you're being incredibly naive. Guys dont just smile and flirt with every good looking girl they see. In fact, I rarely give off signs. I make a move when I've researched the situation , ie, is she single etc.

I dont think you've got a very high opinion about guys though because you said 'If you just want a bit of fun then yeah ask the guy out but If you'd like something long term with this guy then in the long run its best to wait till he notices you.' Guys react probably the same way girls to do being asked out.

panda100

marie_85 wrote:

. And stop generalising guys, some of them do pick up on hints.

Id say 99% do.Guys are not stupid neandethrals.They watch sex and the city etc most of them have read cosmo at least once in their lives, They know how girls work. I dont buy for a second that If a girl was playing with her hair,giving out positive body signals,asking what he was doing for the wknd etc that a guy wouldnt pick up on it.
Or perhaps guys really are that simple and stupid

Mountjoy Mugger

panda100 wrote:

Id say 99% do.Guys are not stupid neandethrals.They watch sex and the city etc most of them have read cosmo at least once in their lives, They know how girls work.

D'uh? Are you for real????????

stcatherine

panda100 wrote:

The fact that he has given no signals means that more than likely he's not that into her.
Undoubtely the majority of guys like a bit of a chase and a bit of excitment at the beginning of a new relationship.By asking him out your taking all of that away from the guy.
Im just speaking from my own expereience.Every relationship where Ive asked the guy out or made the first move has always ended in tears.You will always have that doubt that he didnt notice you first and he didnt make the effort to ask you out.

On the flip side thou hun, I flirted like crazy with a guy I was into, first at a party then in the pub the following weekend. In the end I had to ask him outright if he'd go out for a drink with me ....... we've been married 5 years now (it's our 7 year anni this weekend) and I never regret it for a minute that I asked him. Some guys just don't get the signals and you have to ask them outright !

If you have doubts because you asked him, that's a self esteem issue and nothing to do with who asked whom out !

LegacyUser

Drift wrote:

A few points:

1. Men can't read signals .... no ifs, buts, maybes or anything else. No amount of what you see as subtle signalling or hinting will get a guy to ask you out because he won't see these signals. If you want a date with him ask him out.

2. Men like when a girl asks them out, its an ego boost to know someone fancies you.

3. The answer may not always be yes. At a young age men realise that women will more often refuse their advances than accept them. For girls this is not a lesson they HAVE to learn because it's socially acceptable for them never to ask anyone out. I think sometimes when girls ask a guy out and he says no they make the general assumption that guys don't want to be asked out by girls. It could be that this guy just doesn't fancy you. Its no biggie, onwards to the next one. If all of us guys made that assumption the first time a girl said no to us the human race would be in BIG trouble due to lack of baby making activity .

So if you like a guy, ask him out. If he says no you've lost nothing. If he says yes you've got a date. If you never ask him out and try "hinting" there's a big chance he won't have a clue you like him and an even bigger chance he'll never ask you out.

If all this is true...I have a phonecall I should make to a certain guy! Maybe he's not getting my hints afterall
Drift...if he says no shame on you lol

panda100

Mountjoy Mugger wrote:

D'uh? Are you for real????????

Yes I know I sound like a bad rules book.Im completly for womens lib and up until I realised It just doesnt work I always asked guys out or made the first move. Im just giving my two cents so that the op might take heed and be a bit cautitous.Just dont be too full on with some of the suggestions here like asking what he's doing this weekend.Its just far to obvious.

Id like to be proved wrong though,how many of the boardies in long term relationships were asked out by their girlfriend?would be intresting to know

panda100

stcatherine wrote:

On the flip side thou hun, I flirted like crazy with a guy I was into, first at a party then in the pub the following weekend. In the end I had to ask him outright if he'd go out for a drink with me ....... we've been married 5 years now (it's our 7 year anni this weekend) and I never regret it for a minute that I asked him. Some guys just don't get the signals and you have to ask them outright !!

Ah there is hope

Knockoff Nige

panda100 wrote:

Yes I know I sound like a bad rules book.Im completly for womens lib and up until I realised It just doesnt work I always asked guys out or made the first move. Im just giving my two cents so that the op might take heed and be a bit cautitous.Just dont be too full on with some of the suggestions here like asking what he's doing this weekend.Its just far to obvious.

Id like to be proved wrong though,how many of the boardies in long term relationships were asked out by their girlfriend?would be intresting to know

Why does she need to be cautious? Whats she got to lose? As for being obvious, I think thats the point all guys on here have been trying to say. Be obvious, be very obvious.

panda100

Knockoff Nige wrote:

Why does she need to be cautious? Whats she got to lose? .

Her pride.Its not nice being knocked back by a guy,especially one you like.

dudara

panda100 wrote:

Her pride.Its not nice being knocked back by a guy,especially one you like.

Ah panda100, I think that you're being a bit harsh here, just a wee bit.

To the OP, nothing ventured, nothing gained. If we went through life cushioning ourselves against every possible hurt and pain, then we'd learn nothing.

Remember that men can be very oblivious to subtle signals. Good luck.

Mountjoy Mugger

Panda100 wrote:

Her pride.Its not nice being knocked back by a guy,especially one you like.

It's ok for guys though

Knockoff Nige

panda100 wrote:

Her pride.Its not nice being knocked back by a guy,especially one you like.

Is her pride more important than being with the guy she obviously really really likes? Isnt it better to know if it could happen than to not? Pride is for schoolboys.

panda100

dudara wrote:

If we went through life cushioning ourselves against every possible hurt and pain, then we'd learn nothing.

.

Yeah but If you get too many knocks from guys you'll become bitter like me :P From now on im cushioning myself!

Knockoff Nige

panda100 wrote:

Yeah but If you get too many knocks from guys you'll become bitter like me :P From now on im cushioning myself!

Panda, maybe you in particular are doing it wrong?

newestUser

panda100 wrote:

Id say 99% do.Guys are not stupid neandethrals.They watch sex and the city etc most of them have read cosmo at least once in their lives, They know how girls work. I dont buy for a second that If a girl was playing with her hair,giving out positive body signals,asking what he was doing for the wknd etc that a guy wouldnt pick up on it.
Or perhaps guys really are that simple and stupid

Guys really are that simple and stupid.

Just because we've occasionally seen satc or read cosmo, doesn't mean we'll pick up what you consider to be glaringly obvious hints.

Example from my own experience, I was in a pub once with a girl who I eventually got together with, and who was attracted to me from the first time she met me (she told me this). We're having a few drinks, and she starts taking off her top. She was wearing this kind of tracksuit top, and underneath she's wearing a sleeveless top that's quite figure hugging, and a bit low cut. It's in no way slutty, but it clearly "shows the goods". At this stage, I recall a program I'd seen recently where people were coached on how to date, and they were observed by experts during dates. The experts would provide running commentary ("look at her body language, she's mirroring him, this is good!", "He's asking loads of questions, and he pulled the chair out for her, he's being the perfect gentleman!", you get the drift). One such event was what had just happened to me: the woman takes off an item of clothing, exposing just a little more flesh. I'm not talking about undoing another button on her blouse or anything, just taking off a cardigan. The "dating experts" explode in raptures, high five each other "Yes Yes she's showing off her body to him, she's *well* interested".

If I hadn't seen this program, I'd just have assumed the girl was warm. And I've seen this behaviour again (ie girl is interested in me, but we haven't got together, so if we're in a bar, she'll remove a cardigan, or a sweater, whatever, to show the goods more clearly). This is the kind of action that most women assume hints that they're attracted to a man, but which most men (including myself) will think is totally innocent.

Just because a man doesn't make a move on you doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive btw, he may just be shy.

Drift

panda100 wrote:

Im just speaking from my own expereience.Every relationship where Ive asked the guy out or made the first move has always ended in tears.

Well unless you're into some sort of polygamy EVERY relationship except one that you've been in has ended. As for the in tears part ... if a relationhip ends without some pain its debatable if you were fully emotionally invested in it.

Also I've NEVER read cosmo and I've seen sex in the city quite a few times and every single time I think any woman who plays silly mind games like those chicks deserves to end up alone!

panda100 wrote:

Her pride.Its not nice being knocked back by a guy,especially one you like.

Thats a bit of a double standard, have you never knocked back a guy who liked you before?

Bluey-pink wrote:

If all this is true...I have a phonecall I should make to a certain guy! Maybe he's not getting my hints afterall
Drift...if he says no shame on you lol

All you can do is give it a go bluey, two things can happen:

1. If he says yes you're sorted.
2. If he says no then you move on to the next one in the knowledge that you've saved yourself spending the next few months playing with your hair and finding out about his weekends only to have him find some other girl.

Either way you know where you stand ... unlike now!


To the OP. My advice would be to ask him what music he has on as an opener to a conversation. Have a little chat about whatever comes up (feel free to play with your hair!! :rolleyes: ) and then do the mature thing and ask him out after a few mins of conversation.