God sued over pestilence and terror

Celticfire

WASHINGTON (AFP) - A court in Nebraska is being asked to cast judgement on the ultimate judge -- God.


State lawmaker Ernie Chambers filed a lawsuit Friday against the Almighty -- acknowledging he/she goes by numerous aliases -- for causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues" and other alliterative catastrophes.

The suit, Chambers vs God, asks the court for a "permanent injunction ordering defendant (God) to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terrorist threats" which affect innumerable persons, including Chambers's constituents.

It asserts that God is "the admitted perpetrator" of such acts and said that God's omnipresence gives the local Douglas County District Court jurisdiction in the suit, adding that God's omniscience eliminates the need to issue a formal notice of the lawsuit.

Chambers told local media he filed the suit to make a point about frivolous lawsuits frequently seen in US courts, citing a recent one against a judge.

He asked the court to award him an unspecified summary judgment against God, or, in the alternative, issue a permanent injunction against God engaging in the damaging acts cited in the filing.

Neither God nor his/her spokespersons could be contacted for comment.

I'm surprised it hasn't been tried already ...

mikemac

I don't know much about Nebraska but if he tried this in Mississippi or other states in the deep south, he'd be lynched. True god-fearing folk in those states

estebancambias

Where theAtheists at? Morons...I'm suprised there not jumping of the bandwagon, with their crappy attempt at witt, about how religous belief is the cause of our 'bad world'....screw you, it's wannabe 'free-minded' people like you who are the problem.

digitally-yours

USA will soon launch a Nuclear strike against god

preemptive strike !

Rb

digitally-yours wrote:

USA will soon launch a Nuclear strike against god

preemptive strike !

Lol
I can see it now, the USA launching nukes straight up into the sky, followed by an "Oh f*ck" that could be heard around the world.

Terry

Celticfire wrote:

I'm surprised it hasn't been tried already ...

I love the alliteration (or is it assonance? I can never remember which is which).

I think I've seen tihs somewhere before too, or something similar.

Winters

You can't sue someone who does not exist.

*sigh*

Terry

Shh. The churches have deep pockets.

"Reverand preachyboy told me it was an act of god".

Pay up, Preachyboy.

johnnyskeleton

Winters wrote:

You can't sue someone who does not exist.

Douglas Adams wrote:

'I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.' "'But,' says Man, 'the Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments you don't. QED.' "'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't though of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

.

Dave!

estebancambias wrote:

Where theAtheists at? Morons...I'm suprised there not jumping of the bandwagon, with their crappy attempt at witt, about how religous belief is the cause of our 'bad world'....screw you, it's wannabe 'free-minded' people like you who are the problem.

Yeah those damn atheists with their crappy attempt at wit and wannabe free minds! You're my hero este!

Jesus Wept

estebancambias wrote:

Where theAtheists at? Morons...I'm suprised there not jumping of the bandwagon, with their crappy attempt at witt, about how religous belief is the cause of our 'bad world'....screw you, it's wannabe 'free-minded' people like you who are the problem.

Damn those free minded bástards with their independent thoughts!

DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING.


P.S

There is no god/s.

delta_bravo

God would appoint Johnny Cochrane as his defence lawyer and the lawyer with the blue eyebrows in the simpsons. Case closed

Jesus Wept

delta_bravo wrote:

God would appoint Johnny Cochrane as his defence lawyer and the lawyer with the blue eyebrows in the simpsons. Case closed

Would god play the omnipotent card?

Dord

estebancambias wrote:

Where theAtheists at? Morons...I'm suprised there not jumping of the bandwagon, with their crappy attempt at witt, about how religous belief is the cause of our 'bad world'....screw you, it's wannabe 'free-minded' people like you who are the problem.

What the hell do you have against Atheists??!!? :mad:

Any thread with a hint of religion and you jump on Atheism! It's starting to piss me off. :mad:

Jesus Wept

joe robot wrote:

What the hell do you have against Atheists??!!? :mad:

Any thread with a hint of religion and you jump on Atheism! It's starting to piss me off. :mad:

Clearly anyone who doesn't believe in a supreme being creating everything in 6 days (Chillin on the 7th), and a heavenly place to go to filled with gumdrops and fluffy things 24/7 is naive.

Winters

Any adult with imaginary friends who live in the sky is a bit naive tbh..

Sam Vimes

estebancambias wrote:

Where theAtheists at? Morons...I'm suprised there not jumping of the bandwagon, with their crappy attempt at witt, about how religous belief is the cause of our 'bad world'....screw you, it's wannabe 'free-minded' people like you who are the problem.

indeed, and the people who blow themselves up because they think they'll go to an imaginary paradise are the very essence of all that is good in the world

Jesus Wept

Commander Vimes wrote:

indeed, and the people who blow themselves up because they think they'll go to an imaginary paradise are the very essence of all that is good in the world

How many people have blown things up in the name of Atheism??

Sam Vimes

joe robot wrote:

What the hell do you have against Atheists??!!? :mad:

Any thread with a hint of religion and you jump on Atheism! It's starting to piss me off. :mad:

he's one of those people who hates people who have differing opinions to him.

indough

I don't agree with him in the least, but your ridiculing of religion in the same thread as his post is to a small degree proving his point. I wouldn't bother, I don't think anyone was taking his post seriously.

Sam Vimes

The-Rigger wrote:

How many people have blown things up in the name of Atheism??

none that i'm aware of. lack of belief in something isn't really something people generally blow themselves up for.

unless perhaps someone got really upset when he found out santa doesn't exist?

Sam Vimes

indough wrote:

I don't agree with him in the least, but your ridiculing of religion in the same thread as his post is to a small degree proving his point. I wouldn't bother, I don't think anyone was taking his post seriously.

he called atheists morons, said "screw you" and that we are the problem with the world and gave nothing to back up his claims*. I gave a clear example which proves him wrong. very different things

*of course he couldn't because the only religious belief with any form of evidence to back it up is atheism. If you can call lack of religious belief a religious belief

edit: and i don't see how i proved his point at all. his point was that we are the problem with the world. how did my post prove that or anyones for that matter?

indough

Actually I was referring to his bit about jokes.

Commander Vimes wrote:

edit: and i don't see how i proved his point at all. his point was that we are the problem with the world. how did my post prove that or anyones for that matter?

That wasn't the only point he made

Sam Vimes

indough wrote:

Actually I was referring to his bit about jokes.

ah i see. i wasn't ridiculing religion, i was ridiculing him for thinking that lack of belief in religion causes more problems than belief in said when it clearly doesn't

indough

I think honestly though that you did one to achieve the other. Doesn't bother me either way, just didn't want to see it turn into an anti-religious joke thread as that would have validated his point somewhat

Sam Vimes

indough wrote:

I think honestly though that you did one to achieve the other. Doesn't bother me either way, just didn't want to see it turn into an anti-religious joke thread as that would have validated his point somewhat

it was unfortunate that i had to ridicule religion to prove him wrong. I would have much rather not but it seemed to be the only way. i felt it was more important to prove the "cause of all the world's problems" part wrong than the jokes part. needless to say, he was wrong.

estebancambias, can you tell me why you think that atheism causes more problems for the world than religion? i can't think of any instances where it has caused problems, yet i just have to turn on the news, on any station, at any time, to find religion causing problems

indough

Suppression of religion by atheists has caused some problems, tbh. Look at what is happening to the practitioners of Falun Gong(sp?) in China, for example. Still FAR outweighed by problems arising from religion though.

Dennis the Stone

As David Brent said: "Go free... Jesus.."

I am a non-practicing Catholic.. I think that these frivolous law suits don't really achieve anything apart from wasting time, which is annoying, as every legal system in the world is already majorly overloaded

Sam Vimes

indough wrote:

Suppression of religion by atheists has caused some problems, tbh. Look at what is happening to the practitioners of Falun Gong(sp?) in China, for example. Still FAR outweighed by problems arising from religion though.

that would really be more of communism or a totalitarian government causing problems rather than atheism itself. if the chinese government was religious then Falun Gong would probably still have the same problem

Dord

indough wrote:

Suppression of religion by atheists has caused some problems, tbh. Look at what is happening to the practitioners of Falun Gong(sp?) in China, for example. Still FAR outweighed by problems arising from religion though.

I don't think that the discussion is about suppression of religion by atheists, he just seems to have a hating for atheists. I'm atheist but I don't feel the need to give out to people or swear at them because of their religious views, its their choice....like its mine. I don't understand why others can't be this way.


As for the actual OP's post, I found it funny. Sounds like the kind of thing you expect to have at the end of the news, the lighthearted piece. Needs more cute puppies in it for that though.

indough

I'm not too sure about that man, but of course that's just my opinion

Dord

Yep

indough

joe robot wrote:

I don't think that the discussion is about suppression of religion by atheists, he just seems to have a hating for atheists. I'm atheist but I don't feel the need to give out to people or swear at them because of their religious views, its their choice....like its mine. I don't understand why others can't be this way.

When I said suppression of religion, in regards to that particular case I was being quite generous.

Dord

I know what goes on there, I think it has more to do with how the country is run. But I don't beleive all Atheist should be tarnished with the same brush. The same goes for Catholics, Muslims and all else.

indough

You can't really separate atheism from what they're doing though, it's their atheist policy which is the reason behind their actions, ie atheism can't be separated from the banning of religion, at least the way i'm think of it anyways. I am open to your views of how it can be though

Of course not all atheists should be tarnished with the same brush, but weren't some people tarring all Christians, Muslims etc with the same brush by pointing out the actions of some of their believers?

Sinfonia

digitally-yours wrote:

USA will soon launch a Nuclear strike against god

preemptive strike !

They did that in South Park, trying to kill Saddam Hussein who was building a weapons factory in heaven:D

Wossack

the judge is gonna take a dim view on God not turning up for his own hearing

Terry

estebancambias wrote:

Where theAtheists at? Morons...I'm suprised there not jumping of the bandwagon, with their crappy attempt at witt, about how religous belief is the cause of our 'bad world'....screw you, it's wannabe 'free-minded' people like you who are the problem.

Everyone has been picking on this post, but you should all listen to this guy.
He's a christian and christianity teaches a few good things.

My personal favourite is "Judge not lest ye be judged yourselves".

indough

Terry wrote:

Everyone has been picking on this post, but you should all listen to this guy.
He's a christian and christianity teaches a few good things.

My personal favourite is "Judge not lest ye be judged yourselves".

True, good point

Dont be at yourself

Sounds like somebody's been watching the Billy Connolly film The Man Who Sued God...

Jesus Wept

Terry wrote:

Everyone has been picking on this post, but you should all listen to this guy.
He's a christian and christianity teaches a few good things.

My personal favourite is "Judge not lest ye be judged yourselves".

He didn't learn it though.

estebancambias

You people take me literally, do I think Atheists are morons? Hell no. Do I think Atheism is responsible for the evils in the world? No, but to blame Christianity or any other religion behind evil that exists, is completely stupid.
As I have always said, people seem to have this vendetta against Christianity. It's like bad journalism, they(Atheists) pick out all the bad stuff, and refuse to mention the good stuff, and if you mention someone like Mother Theresa, they end up making some ****ty joke, which is not funny at all.

Jesus Wept

estebancambias wrote:

You people take me literally, do I think Atheists are morons? Hell no. Do I think Atheism is responsible for the evils in the world? No, but to blame Christianity or any other religion behind evil that exists, is completely stupid.
As I have always said, people seem to have this vendetta against Christianity. It's like bad journalism, they(Atheists) pick out all the bad stuff, and refuse to mention the good stuff, and if you mention someone like Mother Theresa, they end up making some ****ty joke, which is not funny at all.

Your misguided opinion might hold more credence if you had waited for some Atheists to say something negative in the thread about Christianity instead of your preemptive strike, ranting including calling them morons.

Mahatma coat

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0268437/

funnyish Australian Movie about the same topic, Stars the BigYin

humanji

estebancambias wrote:

You people take me literally, do I think Atheists are morons? Hell no.

Don't you?

Ah, the results so far, indicate what I have always thought, Atheists are nothing more than mindless drones, who do not possess the ability to think 'outside the box' so they use the views of retarded scientists to form their beliefs.

You're own comments seem to indicate otherwise.

I love drunken rants. Where would AH be without them?

Sam Vimes

let me get this straight. you think that following the same beliefs as everyone in the area is thinking outside the box while studying the topic and choosing a different religious path to all those around you is being a mindless drone. riiighht

regardless of which is true, theism or atheism, having the same beliefs as everyone in the immediate area cannot in any way be seen as more free thinking than having different beliefs to everyone else

and you think that believing something spoken by learned men who studied the topic experimentally and can produce evidence of their findings is moronic, while believing what a 2000 year old book says about the laws of physics being broken with no evidence whatsoever is intelligent?

indough wrote:

Of course not all atheists should be tarnished with the same brush, but weren't some people tarring all Christians, Muslims etc with the same brush by pointing out the actions of some of their believers?

ah but you can argue with an atheist extremist through logic, a theist extremist can only be convinced by what is written in his particular flavour of holy book. the opinions of people who don't believe in his book are immediately discounted.

Wacker

estebancambias wrote:

You people take me literally, do I think Atheists are morons? Hell no.

He is using the "I was only being sarcastic" reply of his. It's one of his few default replies.

As far the original post, if it helps dispell the antiquated notion that the likes of tornadoes and pestilences are 'acts of God', then I'm all for it. Otherwise, it is just a waste of time.

MrJoeSoap

estebancambias wrote:

they(Atheists) pick out all the bad stuff, and refuse to mention the good stuff.

I am assuming you are Roman Catholic or Protestant, correct? Do you think you would be the same religion if raised in downtown Baghdad to Shia Muslim parents?

I think you are the one ruling out the "good stuff" in Atheism. Like scientific proof and logic.

Caco

OMG (:D) God replied!!!

estebancambias

I am Roman Catholic, but I am always questioning my faith. No I would not be Catholic if I had Muslim parents, but let me reverse that would you be Atheist if you were from Baghdad?

Oh and I would go as far as to say, Atheists thrive on being a minority. This statement needs no backup, it is an observation which I feel has some merit.

Dave!

estebancambias wrote:

I am Roman Catholic, but I am always questioning my faith. No I would not be Catholic if I had Muslim parents, but let me reverse that would you be Atheist if you were from Baghdad?

Oh and I would go as far as to say, Atheists thrive on being a minority. This statement needs no backup, it is an observation which I feel has some merit.

Do you realise that Ireland is vastly Catholic? Just as Iraq is vastly Muslim?

So why would it make a difference which you're in, if you're not going to adhere to any faith?

I feel that your second statement has NO merit. Perhaps if you provide some backup, it might be taken seriously.