Unrequited Love - sucks!

Rosso

Like, how do u ppl deal with this!? Its so incapacitating. Its like cancer, eating you from inside. You can't concentrate on your work, your life. You've no appettite. Food becomes tasteless. Hobbies becomes boring. I wish there is a button you can press that removes all feelings, so that I can see her as nothing but a friend. There are times I cannot wait for us to go our separate ways (we work together now but not for long), so that I dont have to see her beautiful face, her perfect smile, her light blue eyes. Sigh, short rant over. I need a whiskey!

Dudess

What makes you so sure she has no interest in you?

Jesus Wept

Rosso wrote:

Like, how do u ppl deal with this!? Its so incapacitating. Its like cancer, eating you from inside.

No, it's not.

Find a better way to express it.

Rosso

Dudess wrote:

What makes you so sure she has no interest in you?

Working with each other for a few months. We get along well..flirt abit with each other sometimes. Thing is I've recently, well, maybe over the past month or so, developed strong feelings for her and I've hinted that to her a few times and since then, our relationship has sort of gone 'cold', so to speak. Our relationship as become more..formal. We used to hang out a lot, just the two of us, but now everything has become a group event. We used to go out for movies, just the 2 of us but now half the office is invited. I just felt so foolish to believe that there could be something in it in the first place but in the end I think I just misled myself.

Rosso

The-Rigger wrote:

No, it's not.

Find a better way to express it.

apologies if that expression is insensitive to others.

biko

Maybe you could give an rundown of how it started and what makes you think it's not going to work?

But yeah, it does suck to have a crushed crush.

Gobán Saor

Been there, done that, worn the t-shirt. More than once. It ain't nice. You're right - it sucks! It hurts like hell. You obsess. Bargain. Plead. Fantasize. Do deals with God. The devil. Anything. You can't imagine a happy life without her. Hell, you don't even WANT a happy life without her.

OK, here's the hard bit. You may not even want to hear this but it's true. Time heals all wounds. It was not "meant" to be. You WILL get over her. Not quickly, not easily but it DOES happen. Helps if you meet somebody else. (Beware of looking for a "replica" of your lost love - you need to relate to somebody new in her own right, not as a substitute for your recent gf.) When you do form a happy new relationship you will look back, perhaps with wistfulness, fondness even, possibly anger(?) but best of all - you won't really look back that much, you'll look forward instead. Chin up - I know what it's like and there is life after unrequited love:)

Rosso

biko wrote:

Maybe you could give an rundown of how it started and what makes you think it's not going to work?

But yeah, it does suck to have a crushed crush.

Well we started working with each other a few months back. Funny thing is I couldn't stand her the first few weeks. Couldn't wait for it to be over. But as we got to know each other she became some one I would become very comfortable with, which is something very rare for me. I'm not a ppl person at all, and admittedly, never comfortable around ppl, esp girls. But with her its different, I feel at home, able to express myself freely. We seem to be in the same wave-length. She laughs at my jokes (nobody ever does that lol). She would flirt a bit sometimes and sometimes I would think she'd be dropping hints that she likes me (which now in retrospect, i think i'm just reading too much into things). Lately I've hinted back that I like her..and thats when trouble struck lol.

caesar

Gob&#225 wrote: »

Been there, done that, worn the t-shirt. More than once. It ain't nice. You're right - it sucks! It hurts like hell. You obsess. Bargain. Plead. Fantasize. Do deals with God. The devil. Anything. You can't imagine a happy life without her. Hell, you don't even WANT a happy life without her.

+1:o

biko

Rosso, you probably got classed "Friend" and when you wanted more she backed out. It's not unusual unfortunately.
Do you know if she has someone? Someone serious?
You can either try to go back to just friends, or let her know you want more and then stay away/let her make the next move. Once you've planted the idea of more than friends things may change.

Rosso

biko wrote:

Rosso, you probably got classed "Friend" and when you wanted more she backed out. It's not unusual unfortunately.
Do you know if she has someone? Someone serious?
You can either try to go back to just friends, or let her know you want more and then stay away/let her make the next move. Once you've planted the idea of more than friends things may change.

She's single at the moment. I know that for sure. It would be difficult to go back to be friends but I can try. But to be honest I cannot wait for us to go our separate ways! I think I have hinted that I'd want more but I think the reaction I got is what drove me to despair in the first place

Rosso

biko wrote:

Rosso, you probably got classed "Friend" and when you wanted more she backed out. It's not unusual unfortunately.
Do you know if she has someone? Someone serious?
You can either try to go back to just friends, or let her know you want more and then stay away/let her make the next move. Once you've planted the idea of more than friends things may change.

and WHY DO I KEEP BEING CLASSED AS 'FRIEND' BY WOMEN ?? Always me! I gotta stop being nice to them i think:P

Dalfiatach

Rosso wrote:

and WHY DO I KEEP BEING CLASSED AS 'FRIEND' BY WOMEN ?? Always me! I gotta stop being nice to them i think:P

Hey, look on the bright side, if you keep ending up in the friend bucket it means you actually are a decent person and not an asshole

Fear not. With patience and skill, it is possible to move from the friend bucket to the Shagmeister A-list in a woman's mind. I've managed it a few times myself. Once it took me a whole 5 years, but it was worth it in the end The trick appears to lie in pretending you aren't interested in that way even if you spend half your time fantasising about Friend X.

Be the cool drinking buddy, the sounding board, the guy she feels comfortable going for a random beer and talking ****e for an hour with. Occasionally and with infinite casual cool make references to other women you've been seeing (real or imaginary) to make sure you don't end up in the "Gay" bucket. There's no way out of that one LOL.

Sometimes, in the bizarro parallel universe of the female mind, this will eventually transform you in her conversations with her friends from "God no he's just a friend" to "OMG he's so cool why doesn't he fancy me, am I fat and ugly". And then yer in.

Not sure if you have any hope in this particular case, but as a tip for the future....coming across as needy and slighty desperate and/or infatuated is a major turnoff for the wimminfolk of Ireland.

star-pants

Gob&#225 wrote: »

Been there, done that, worn the t-shirt. More than once. It ain't nice. You're right - it sucks! It hurts like hell. You obsess. Bargain. Plead. Fantasize. Do deals with God. The devil. Anything. You can't imagine a happy life without her. Hell, you don't even WANT a happy life without her.

precisely... its a horrible rut to try and crawl out of...
but i've been assured it's possible... Hope so..

Rosso

Dalfiatach wrote:

Hey, look on the bright side, if you keep ending up in the friend bucket it means you actually are a decent person and not an asshole

Fear not. With patience and skill, it is possible to move from the friend bucket to the Shagmeister A-list in a woman's mind. I've managed it a few times myself. Once it took me a whole 5 years, but it was worth it in the end The trick appears to lie in pretending you aren't interested in that way even if you spend half your time fantasising about Friend X.

Be the cool drinking buddy, the sounding board, the guy she feels comfortable going for a random beer and talking ****e for an hour with. Occasionally and with infinite casual cool make references to other women you've been seeing (real or imaginary) to make sure you don't end up in the "Gay" bucket. There's no way out of that one LOL.

Sometimes, in the bizarro parallel universe of the female mind, this will eventually transform you in her conversations with her friends from "God no he's just a friend" to "OMG he's so cool why doesn't he fancy me, am I fat and ugly". And then yer in.

Not sure if you have any hope in this particular case, but as a tip for the future....coming across as needy and slighty desperate and/or infatuated is a major turnoff for the wimminfolk of Ireland.

I'm in the friends bucket of many girls! I mean, since my best friend got surgically attached to his fiance all my closest friends have been girls. I swear ppl who dont know me must think I'm the girls best 'gay friend' ! I've been that 'guy i can talk to about anything and pour my heart out to' for many years and I'm sick of it.
I know I'm a nice person. EVERYBODY tells me that! My friends tells me that ppl tells them that. Look up the word nice in the dictionary and you see my name! Yet its the thoughtless bastards who treats women like accessories are the ones they desire the most!

patrickolee

Rosso wrote:

and WHY DO I KEEP BEING CLASSED AS 'FRIEND' BY WOMEN ??

Are you ugly? Be honest with yourself.

Better not to try and be friends with this girl, it'll just wreck your head.

niavie

personally speaking it hurts a lot more when things go stale with the nice guy than the jackass you know is going to let you down...:rolleyes:

Rosso

patrickolee wrote:

Are you ugly? Be honest with yourself.

Better not to try and be friends with this girl, it'll just wreck your head.

Definitely not! My mother thinks I'm the best looking guy in the world..!

Agree about the being friends thing. When we stop working together contact should just stop!

biko

I have had to tell female friends to stop telling me about their bf trouble "I'm sorry Sandra but that's what your girlfriends are for. Now let's go get hammered".

A friend knew this girl that he didn't really fancy much but they got on and so on. One night we were all out and suddenly she goes to him "You're such a nice friend". He looks her up and down and answers "I don't see you as a friend, I see you as a woman!". It worked! True story!

milkerman

Yep, women like some non threatening male company as friends, but not as sexual partners.
You have probably blown it already with this girl, live with it.
Cool off on mixing with her and find other company.
Next time you meet someone you simply ask her out on a date, that sets the tone for the rest of the relationship (if any)
I found after meeting someone and checking them out, flowers delivered to the victim in her workplace was an effective ice breaker (most of the time) and didnt fall into the 'gay friend' category.
Unrequited love sucks, but you will get over her. Her loss.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

K-9

Rosso wrote:

. She laughs at my jokes (nobody ever does that lol). She would flirt a bit sometimes and sometimes I would think she'd be dropping hints that she likes me (which now in retrospect, i think i'm just reading too much into things). Lately I've hinted back that I like her..and thats when trouble struck lol.

Never tell a girl you like her until you have to. Reverse the dating psychology.....you be the challenge. Women love drama and not knowing.... the will he/won't he thing!

Women will laugh and flirt! Does it mean she's into you? No. She probably just likes a flirt, don't we all?

biko wrote:

Rosso, you probably got classed "Friend" and when you wanted more she backed out. It's not unusual unfortunately.
Do you know if she has someone? Someone serious?
You can either try to go back to just friends, or let her know you want more and then stay away/let her make the next move. Once you've planted the idea of more than friends things may change

I would ignore or make yourself scarce, then let it be known that you've gone out with other girls. Women want what they can't have, they wonder what's that fella got? Why is she having fun around him and I'm not? Women are more competitive than men in many ways.

dalfiatach wrote:

The trick appears to lie in pretending you aren't interested in that way even if you spend half your time fantasising about Friend X.

Be the cool drinking buddy, the sounding board, the guy she feels comfortable going for a random beer and talking ****e for an hour with. Occasionally and with infinite casual cool make references to other women you've been seeing (real or imaginary) to make sure you don't end up in the "Gay" bucket. There's no way out of that one LOL.

Sometimes, in the bizarro parallel universe of the female mind, this will eventually transform you in her conversations with her friends from "God no he's just a friend" to "OMG he's so cool why doesn't he fancy me, am I fat and ugly". And then yer in.

Chick mind - you're interested and keen - what's wrong with him, why is so interested? He only wants one thing or its boring I have him already, no challenge or no drama. What do I have to do to show that I deserve him? Nothing.

Be a challenge and not interested, "why isn't he interested?, I'll show him"

It's not being a b******. More if you want to date me fine, if not well I've got other things to do, nice meeting you, bye.....Cue, woman in your bed.

Go out, get on with your life and chat up other girls. If she comes back, hurray, if she doesn't well you'll have met plenty of other girls.

heavyhorse

Mate I reckon you should cool off a bit, it's a bit intense, I know some people are pretty hardcore when they like someone but give yourself a break - it's only a bird.

Rosso

Thanks for the advice guys. Think the general concencus here is to cool things off and thats what I'll do. Thing is its her b'day coming up. Should I just pretend I forgot ? .

star-pants

Rosso wrote:

Thanks for the advice guys. Think the general concencus here is to cool things off and thats what I'll do. Thing is its her b'day coming up. Should I just pretend I forgot ? .

dont forget the birthday!!! sorry.. my birthday was recent enough & a couple of ppl forgot & I ended up feeling crap
Perhaps dont be like wishing it at a min past midnight, but don't forget it either!!

K-9

Rosso wrote:

Thanks for the advice guys. Think the general concencus here is to cool things off and thats what I'll do. Thing is its her b'day coming up. Should I just pretend I forgot ? .

No, that's what good friends do. Maybe forget it and when its brought up in work take her for a drink or two after. You're trying to get this girl out of your head. Next thing it will be what would she like for her present and worrying about it.

Rosso

Seanies32 wrote:

No, that's what good friends do. Maybe forget it and when its brought up in work take her for a drink or two after. You're trying to get this girl out of your head. Next thing it will be what would she like for her present and worrying about it.

Too late! Got her something already! Knew she liked it but couldn't get it in the shops here so I ordered it from abroad. Will give it to her anyway and leave it at that.

SarahSassy

Rosso wrote:

Too late! Got her something already! Knew she liked it but couldn't get it in the shops here so I ordered it from abroad. Will give it to her anyway and leave it at that.

No way. You are acting way too keen for a 'friend'. Your actions would spook me as its over the top for a simple friendship birthday present. My suggestion would be to buy her lunch / drink for her birthday and leave it at that. Anything else is overdoing it.

Rosso

SarahSassy wrote:

No way. You are acting way too keen for a 'friend'. Your actions would spook me as its over the top for a simple friendship birthday present. My suggestion would be to buy her lunch / drink for her birthday and leave it at that. Anything else is overdoing it.

well its only a book though..does it still count as OTT? I mean, its not something she wants but couldn't get. Its a book about something she likes but its not in print for sometime..she probably doen'ts know it exist. She'd only think I picked it up from Eason's or something

SarahSassy

Hmmmm, I would still leave it but you know the situation....

I think if she knows you went out of your way to buy her something you are putting yourself further in the 'friend who wants to be more' situation.

K-9

Rosso wrote:

Too late! Got her something already! Knew she liked it but couldn't get it in the shops here so I ordered it from abroad. Will give it to her anyway and leave it at that.

OMG, Seriously no. If you have learnt anything from this thread do not give it to her (whereas we are giving hints on how to ). You ordered it abroad after not getting it in the shops! Way too much effort. If you want to see her as a gf then thats being way too bothered about her.

Going to that extent shows you are thinking about her too much and she will know it.

NextSteps

Agreed. Buy her a drink instead.

py2006

OP, Do NOT give her that gift!!

I spent 2 years in a similar situation as you. I eventually became this pathetic mess and ended up being used and treated like a doormat. I was pathetic around her and I wasn't being a real man.

Looking back now I can see this is a huge turn off. There was no challenge for her. She took advantage of my feelings and used me. Yes she flirted and get a kick out of the reaction.

Don't go down that line you will end up being really angry with yourself. Avoid socialising with her as much.

Hot-Totty

Ok, its horrible.

Really and trully it is.

But remember it is only a feeling and feelings come and go and so will this.

Imagine a year down the line, when she is wrecking your head, or you want to go out and she has a freak attack at you.

Things will turn to friendship in the end.

So with this in thought, your form of mental medicine, imagine you have already had the relationship and now you can move on.

Whatever is for you won't pass you by.

Althought the saying is a crutch, maybe use it for a while.

You are not supposed to be everyones cup of tea, if we were, then I suppose we would all be having or*gies.

Anyhow, appreciate the friendship and move on. There is so much out there.

Take care Mate.

GoalsGoneWild

In a similar situation myself - altho it's a bit more complicated than this one as there is a relationship of sorts. Initially, neither of us wanted exclusivity, I've recently decided that I did (after we went on a 2 week holiday together), she's not so sure so I'm getting out of it.

I've spent the best part of a week fretting and worrying about this and that's way more than I should have done. To the OP - you know what you have to do, it's just about having the mental strength to do it. Not saying it's easy - but nothing worthwhile ever is.

The way i always try to look at these things is - if it was your friend and he was in the same situation as you, what advice would you give? You'd tell him to retain whatever dignity he could and move on. If it's good enough advice to give a friend, it's good enough advice to follow yourself.

Time heals, life goes on. Good luck...

Rosso

Thanks for the advice. The pain is peaking at the moment but I know it wont be like that for long. The problem is where did I go wrong? I didn't expect to fall for her in the first place. On the contrary, I couldn't stand her at the beginning! But after 'accidentally' falling for her what can I do? Should I stop trying to be friends with women in the first place? Should I have the 'be my girlfriend or nothing' approach with all women? I used to be a believer in platonic relationships with women but sometimes you fall into problems like this which seems to make things not worth it.

py2006

Rosso wrote:

Thanks for the advice. The pain is peaking at the moment but I know it wont be like that for long. The problem is where did I go wrong? I didn't expect to fall for her in the first place. On the contrary, I couldn't stand her at the beginning! But after 'accidentally' falling for her what can I do? Should I stop trying to be friends with women in the first place? Should I have the 'be my girlfriend or nothing' approach with all women? I used to be a believer in platonic relationships with women but sometimes you fall into problems like this which seems to make things not worth it.

One of my biggest regrets from the time when I was in a similar situation was that I didn't say to this girl "Look whats the story? Do you like me or not? You carry on as if your interested and you know I am interested in you. If your not interested then your just messing with my head and the friendship ends here"

nuada

Josh Ritter has a great line for this:

"But I’d rather be the one who loves than to be loved and never even know"

Code Face

Yeah, I was madly in love with this girl for about a year. One night when we were out for a few drinks I told her how I felt (even though I promised myself I would never tell her, so I didn't ruin our friendship), and to my surprise she said she felt the same way. So we went off and had sex. It was amazing - like a dream come true. She's so hot!

AngryBadger

Look, not to be harsh but some of the advice in here is just garbage. "Treat her mean to keep her keen, no pressies, slap her twice at noon when the moon is high the night before if you want a score!"

If you've bought her a B-day present you may as well give it to her. Personally I'd be inclined to cool things off as some of the more level-headed in here have suggested. After that leave well enough alone.

the situation is that it suits her to have you as a friend she can pour her heart out to. WHic is fine for her but a disaster for you. Maybe you're a really lovely guy, but let's be honest, like all people who fall into the "friend" bracket, you're secretly hoping she'll realise what an emotional rock you are, and that maybe you're the one she's been searching for.

Stop pining after her, be civil and courteous to her, but leave it at that. The current situation is unfair to you, and maybe she realises that and hence has become somewhat distant lately.

In any case nothing is magically going to make her reciprocate.

Sorry for the harshness.

someothername

nuada wrote:

Josh Ritter has a great line for this:

"But I’d rather be the one who loves than to be loved and never even know"

i agree with this ,


give her the pressie , tell her you'd rather be more than friends and its up to her and then cool off and give her time to see if she wants to be or not.
after than there is nothing more you can do.....
if she doesnt wanna be more than friends then chalk it up to more experience. yea it sucks but if your honest you'll be able to say you learned something from it and wont make the same mistake twice???!!

really hope it works out for you lad.
best of luck

surhythms

Rosso - can I ask you, have you actually told her that you fancy her?

I was in a similar situation at the beginning of the year where I was "mates" with this guy - anyway we lost touch for a while and drifted apart but then we got back in touch. Over this time I became TOTALLY obsessed with him and I mean TOTALLY. I used to spend every waking minute thinking about him and fantasising about our non existent relationship, feeling miserable, not being able to sleep , watching that movie "the holiday" over and over again, not getting asleep until 5am in the morning - it was horrendous. I had all of these feeling pent up inside me and I just couldnt tell him how I felt. Anyway I eventually go the courage 4 months ago to tell him how I felt about him. He wasnt sure at all being honest. He didnt want a "serious" full on relationship because he had one previously and it was all too much too soon. About a week later he got in touch and told me that he would like if we spent more time with each other and I swear I was like the cat that got the cream. I was jumping around my kitchen like an absolute lunatic at 12 midnite ( I remember the date he he he). Anyway we started seeing each other but it hasnt been easy but I do know that my struggles through this have made me more patient about the situation. I think the best thing I did was actually tell him how i felt about him as opposed to drowning my sorrows into a bottle of red and having sleepless nights over something that NEVER even happened. Just go for it and tell her how u feel. At least you will know for definite what she thinks of you and if she doesnt feel the same you can get on with things Hard as it is because I know rejection is a terrible thing.

Rosso

Well I haven't said 'I like you' but I think I've given her enough hints that would make things obvious !

surhythms wrote:

Rosso - can I ask you, have you actually told her that you fancy her?

I was in a similar situation at the beginning of the year where I was "mates" with this guy - anyway we lost touch for a while and drifted apart but then we got back in touch. Over this time I became TOTALLY obsessed with him and I mean TOTALLY. I used to spend every waking minute thinking about him and fantasising about our non existent relationship, feeling miserable, not being able to sleep , watching that movie "the holiday" over and over again, not getting asleep until 5am in the morning - it was horrendous. I had all of these feeling pent up inside me and I just couldnt tell him how I felt. Anyway I eventually go the courage 4 months ago to tell him how I felt about him. He wasnt sure at all being honest. He didnt want a "serious" full on relationship because he had one previously and it was all too much too soon. About a week later he got in touch and told me that he would like if we spent more time with each other and I swear I was like the cat that got the cream. I was jumping around my kitchen like an absolute lunatic at 12 midnite ( I remember the date he he he). Anyway we started seeing each other but it hasnt been easy but I do know that my struggles through this have made me more patient about the situation. I think the best thing I did was actually tell him how i felt about him as opposed to drowning my sorrows into a bottle of red and having sleepless nights over something that NEVER even happened. Just go for it and tell her how u feel. At least you will know for definite what she thinks of you and if she doesnt feel the same you can get on with things Hard as it is because I know rejection is a terrible thing.

Rosso

Not harsh at all. In fact I think you just managed to put what I think of the situation down in words! I'm trying to stop pining for her, try not to be as friendly. I know that there is no chance of it ever happening, but its not easy if you work with each other everyday,for now anyway. In a few weeks time that will change and I shall have my freedom.!

AngryBadger wrote:

Look, not to be harsh but some of the advice in here is just garbage. "Treat her mean to keep her keen, no pressies, slap her twice at noon when the moon is high the night before if you want a score!"

If you've bought her a B-day present you may as well give it to her. Personally I'd be inclined to cool things off as some of the more level-headed in here have suggested. After that leave well enough alone.

the situation is that it suits her to have you as a friend she can pour her heart out to. WHic is fine for her but a disaster for you. Maybe you're a really lovely guy, but let's be honest, like all people who fall into the "friend" bracket, you're secretly hoping she'll realise what an emotional rock you are, and that maybe you're the one she's been searching for.

Stop pining after her, be civil and courteous to her, but leave it at that. The current situation is unfair to you, and maybe she realises that and hence has become somewhat distant lately.

In any case nothing is magically going to make her reciprocate.

Sorry for the harshness.

Knockoff Nige

Rosso wrote:

Not harsh at all. In fact I think you just managed to put what I think of the situation down in words! I'm trying to stop pining for her, try not to be as friendly. I know that there is no chance of it ever happening, but its not easy if you work with each other everyday,for now anyway. In a few weeks time that will change and I shall have my freedom.!

Dude, there is always a chance (if she's single). You have to start showing your manhood (that doesnt mean whip it out). Start posing like James Dean, let her know that you have a man tool. Talk in an assertive way and do the best trick I've ever seen on tv. In the 40 year old virgin, Steve Carrell was told to approach a girl and only ask her questions. Dont say anything. Just find out more, keep her talking about herself.

LegacyUser

'God, I know the feeling only too well. I fell for this guy a couple of years back, we were in a situation where we saw each other every day. We got on great, I never told him, or anyone else how I felt (though I'm pretty sure that people around us figured it out). I was barely able to say his name without looking away or getting fidgety. Then, circumstances changed and I rarely see him anymore, except maybe at a party or something. I try to convince myself that I'm over him, but in the days running up to a day where I know I'm going to see him, then I'm an excited, nervous wreck. Nothing else matters.

Seeing him score another girl once was like being kicked in the stomach. Being told that he was seeing someone felt like being run over by a steamroller.

I can't see us ever being close again, due to our very different circumstances. It hurts just to even think about him, the fun we had, to look at photos. So I try not to. But when I do, the feelings just resurface. Oh, and so many things remind me of him, so that doesn't help matters either.

Gah! I'm pathetic '

Knockoff Nige

Up_Too_Early wrote:

'God, I know the feeling only too well. I fell for this guy a couple of years back, we were in a situation where we saw each other every day. We got on great, I never told him, or anyone else how I felt (though I'm pretty sure that people around us figured it out). I was barely able to say his name without looking away or getting fidgety. Then, circumstances changed and I rarely see him anymore, except maybe at a party or something. I try to convince myself that I'm over him, but in the days running up to a day where I know I'm going to see him, then I'm an excited, nervous wreck. Nothing else matters.

Seeing him score another girl once was like being kicked in the stomach. Being told that he was seeing someone felt like being run over by a steamroller.

I can't see us ever being close again, due to our very different circumstances. It hurts just to even think about him, the fun we had, to look at photos. So I try not to. But when I do, the feelings just resurface. Oh, and so many things remind me of him, so that doesn't help matters either.

Gah! I'm pathetic '

I wish there were a load of girls thinking this way about me. It would rock.

Tar.Aldarion

Good luck mate, it really sucks. It consumes you.
Usually ends up ruining the friendship, did for me anyway.
You will get over it in time, you need to space yourself and try to find somebody else or you can not be friends with her.
You could turn alco like I did, but best not to.

curiousxxx1

Lads, please stop talking about us women like we are toys....
Rosso, she may like you but not want to date you-ACCEPT that and move on, there are other girls out there...
Women are the most difficult to understand, we say something and mean something else:) ... GET THE MESSAGE!!!!!!!!

Knockoff Nige

curiousxxx1 wrote:

Lads, please stop talking about us women like we are toys....
Rosso, she may like you but not want to date you-ACCEPT that and move on, there are other girls out there...
Women are the most difficult to understand, we say something and mean something else:) ... GET THE MESSAGE!!!!!!!!

WTF? Who's doing that? We are only helping a brutha out. Just because you're a female doesnt mean you know how this other girl ticks. There is a chance for hima nd as you say yourself:

'Women are the most difficult to understand, we say something and mean something else ... GET THE MESSAGE!!!!!!!!'

Evil Phil

Rosso wrote:

Well I haven't said 'I like you' but I think I've given her enough hints that would make things obvious !

Nothing says 'I like you' like saying 'I like you'. Its the only way, just be yourself and tell her you like her. Doesn't mean its going to improve the situation with her but it she doesn't feel the same way you'll know for sure and be able to move on. If she does feel the same way, happy days. And do it face to face, not by text or something like that.