first ****

The Bollox

this seems to be the trend these days, so at what age did you have your first **** or fingerbang?

I was a late bloomer at 17!

Dudess

Oh God, about nine or ten I'd say :eek:

Tha Gopher

During a 10 o clock-ish Channel 4 showing of a dirty old English flick from the 80s called Rita Sue and Bob too (about some oul cnut who takes the babysitters up the moors for a riding now and again)

Must have been 11 odd

Didnt have another til i met yore mas, etc etc.

Glad we got that out of the way early.

Plug

Before it gets closed, yeah!

Dudess

Hilarious film! Those two girls are rough as a badger's arse! Nothing erotic about it whatsoever though, so strange choice of material...

Plug

The Bollox wrote:

this seems to be the trend these days, so at what age did you have your first **** or fingerbang?

I was a late bloomer at 17!

Is that how you got your user name?

WellyJ

Think I was around 11 or 12,

Nothing came out though,

Times were great back then, no messy clean up

admiralofthefleet

11, i was watching the cook, the thief, his wife and her lover on c4, all i remember is this weird feeling in my knees....

The Bollox

Plug wrote:

Is that how you got your user name?

I dunno, ask YORE MA! she's the one who gave me the name

Mossy Monk

12 maybe. Don't know for sure.

Tha Gopher

Dudess wrote:

Hilarious film! Those two girls are rough as a badger's arse! Nothing erotic about it whatsoever though, so strange choice of material...

meh, id have rode the black haired one. And theres their bad bitch accents.

flanzer

13...My Pamela Anderson poster got destroyed

GhostInTheRuins

I'm fairly sure I was 16 (might have been 15). Ah, I remember it well.

Actually, I kept a running count of how many I did for a while at the beginning. haha, I guess the count just got too high to keep track of eventually.

Plug

The Bollox wrote:

I dunno, ask YORE MA! she's the one who gave me the name

Oh yeah?
Well YORE MA gave me my first ****:p

The Bollox

D.T. Jesus wrote:

Actually, I kept a running count of how many I did for a while at the beginning. haha, I guess the count just got too high to keep track of eventually.

ha ha. I know that feeling. halfway through my first I was thinking "what the f*ck am I doing here?"

The Bollox

Plug wrote:

Oh yeah?
Well YORE MA gave me my first ****:p

that's not a ****, it's a handjob :rolleyes:

admiralofthefleet

is that film rita sue and bob too the one with rick mayal?. the one with those two mingers?

Tha Gopher

Id keep an old tracker top that was too out of style to be worn outside as my "crackin jacket", effectively something to wear when it was too freezing to be sitting by the PC/Television X freeview with both yer cacks and shirt off. I wonder how much the IVF clinic would pay for it :eek:

Giblet

Tha Gopher wrote:

During a 10 o clock-ish Channel 4 showing of a dirty old English flick from the 80s called Rita Sue and Bob too (about some oul cnut who takes the babysitters up the moors for a riding now and again)

Must have been 11 odd

Didnt have another til i met yore mas, etc etc.

Glad we got that out of the way early.

HAHAHA, that film was on recently. I remember it was on the first time too.

Dudess

Well they're probably pretty but they're just so rough-looking, and eighties hair and make-up never made anyone look good.
The guy looks like Rik Mayall, but it's not him.

lemansky

12.......some movie on chanel four. It was fairly dodgy and cheap, no famous names so I can't remember. but there was a rather tasty scene with two lesbians so I felt happy and things progressed from there.

Tha Gopher

Giblet wrote:

HAHAHA, that film was on recently. I remember it was on the first time too.

LOL During one of them locked "first time" chats two of my mates were shocked to find we all shared that one film as the dawn of a lifetime of fappage. That film has corrupted the children of Ireland more than their Eminems, 60 Cents, bang bang dancey drug music and that awful Manson chap combined.

lemansky wrote:

12.......some movie on chanel four. It was fairly dodgy and cheap, no famous names so I can't remember. but there was a rather tasty scene with two lesbians so I felt happy and things progressed from there.

Until we got skydigital i had this warped idea that lesbian sex was all women who looked like/wanted to be men.

God bless the Adult Channel freeview for bestowing one of lifes most beautiful sights drunk, good looking straight women doing a doublw adaptor job.

rain on

9. Another of those 'what in bejaysus am I at?' experiences.

Terry

11, I think.
That day changed my life forever.

Dudess

lemansky wrote:

12.......some movie on chanel four. It was fairly dodgy and cheap, no famous names so I can't remember. but there was a rather tasty scene with two lesbians so I felt happy and things progressed from there.

Was that during the days when Channel 4 used the "red triangle" symbol?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_triangle_%28Channel_4%29

admiralofthefleet wrote:

i was watching the cook, the thief, his wife and her lover on c4

Yeah, that'd do it.

Channel 4... again! Look what that filthy paragon of smut has done to all those who entered adolescence post Channel 4 launch!

qwertplaywert

Like a week before me 10th birthday-Was in the bath, pulling my skin in different places to examine was the pain the same in each, when I got to that special place......the day my bath tube lost its inocence-had to go online the next day to find out what I'd done!

admiralofthefleet

wrote:

The Bollox, I know that feeling.

thats not a pun, right?

Gaspode

Hey, there's no option in the poll for '****? Me? sure I'd never do that!'

Dudess

qwertplaywert wrote:

Like a week before me 10th birthday-Was in the bath, pulling my skin in different places to examine was the pain the same in each, when I got to that special place......the day my bath tube lost its inocence-had to go online the next day to find out what I'd done!

Online when you were 10?!! What age are you?

lemansky

Dudess wrote:

Was that during the days when Channel 4 used the "red triangle" symbol?

I have absolutely no idea tbh. If that was around 7 years ago or so it might well have had the red triangle! I didn't see the film from the beginning it was one of those "ooh I'm allowed to stay up late" nights, so I was flicking around (the channels;) ) and I just stumbled across the film. There was a bit of violence in it so I stuck with it and then the life changing scene arrived:D

Dudess

Oh so you're 19. Well then you weren't even born for the "red triangle" period on Channel 4. Dammit, why does Boards have to make me feel so old?!

eoin5

I was 13 I think, I'm 23 now. Maybe I should have some sort of 10yr anniversary or something

lemansky

eoin5 wrote:

Maybe I should have some sort of 10yr anniversary or something

Keep the details of the celebration to youreslf:)



Dudess just think of it as more real world experience. You've experienced more of life than I have as a mere 19 year old!

Dudess

Twentieth anniversary only round the corner for me

Thanks lemansky, I like your style. And at 29, apparently there's still several years before I reach my sexual prime - woohoo! (apparently you've passed yours... I'm sorry)

admiralofthefleet

may i point out that it is perfectly ok for the female members of boards to give their stories.....

The_B_Man

man, cant believe 10 is the lowest option on this poll!! i was too young to remember my first one!

The Bollox

deswalsh wrote:

Hey, there's no option in the poll for '****? Me? sure I'd never do that!'

that's because anyone who says that is a dirty filthy liar!

doonothing

the year charlie's angels came out

*googles*

2000

so i was 11 or 12... oh cameron...

Niamho!

qwertplaywert wrote:

Like a week before me 10th birthday-Was in the bath, pulling my skin in different places to examine was the pain the same in each, when I got to that special place......the day my bath tube lost its inocence-had to go online the next day to find out what I'd done!

Hahaha. I wondered that actually..... after ya do it do ya think you're after doin something Really weird to yourself to make that stuff come out...something you shouldnt have? Hahahahaha.

Niamho!

I'm gettin outta here i'm well freaked. My nephew is nearly 11 and he's NEVER gonna do that!! lol. thats the first sign of Moody Teenager. he's never gonna turn into a Moody Teenager!!!

Dudess

admiralofthefleet wrote:

may i point out that it is perfectly ok for the female members of boards to give their stories.....

Ahem...

The_B_Man

Niamho! wrote:

I'm gettin outta here i'm well freaked. My nephew is nearly 11 and he's NEVER gonna do that!! lol. thats the first sign of Moody Teenager. he's never gonna turn into a Moody Teenager!!!

:eek: are u one of those hot aunties btw? aunties are HAWT!!!



/me runs off and organises a family reunion...

lemansky

Niamho! wrote:

I'm gettin outta here i'm well freaked. My nephew is nearly 11 and he's NEVER gonna do that!! lol. thats the first sign of Moody Teenager. he's never gonna turn into a Moody Teenager!!!

So you're assuming that he hasn't already;)

Gaspode

The Bollox wrote:

that's because anyone who says that is a dirty filthy liar!

Yup, thats me.

Niamho!

lemansky wrote:

So you're assuming that he hasn't already;)

Of course he hasn't!! he never will either. Aw my little Chap.... ya big Sicko. hehehe.

lemansky

Eleven year olds these days though Niamho! Innocence is long gone:D

Tha Gopher

These days? We had vague, bizarre notions of sex and all when we were seven. You hear this and that on Eastenders and Coronation Street, you practice your reading on the Sunday tabloid your dad buys, you pick it up eventually (male relatives 2 years older are a mine of largely false info, but info nonetheless)

Kinetic^

The Bollox wrote:

this seems to be the trend these days, so at what age did you have your first **** or fingerbang?

I was a late bloomer at 17!

17? GTFO would ya!! Ya must have been walking around with elephant balls with all the built up load in them!!!!!

crosstownk

Jaysus - I can't remember - it was so long ago. But somewhere between 12 and 14 I reckon.

lemansky

Tha Gopher wrote:

These days? We had vague, bizarre notions of sex and all when we were seven. You hear this and that on Eastenders and Coronation Street, you practice your reading on the Sunday tabloid your dad buys, you pick it up eventually (male relatives 2 years older are a mine of largely false info, but info nonetheless)

true!It's only been píssing time since I was 11 (8 years) but already I've forgotten about these things and actually how much you know by then!

randylonghorn

Just shy of 12 ... just woke up already doing it, discovered why about 20 seconds later!

No films involved that I can remember, though I had been horseriding earlier that evening ...

The Bollox wrote:

I was a late bloomer at 17!

Jeez, Marts, I reckon that's about 3,500 golden moments missed, even by my standards ... that's kinda sad, dude.