Stupid things you thought as a child, what was the stupidest thing you thought?

zaadee

Well, my friend and I were having a conversation the other day & somehow it lead to all the weird/crazy and stupid things we done as a child.

When i was young, i was really scared of the dark..espescially times when i needed to go toilet at night. I use to think that a witch would come out and grab my ass.


What stupid things did you guys think??

Dragan

That when i walked i turned the world rather than moving along the face of it.

I was only 5.

Owen

I was convinced that the energy in a batter left both the positive and negative terminals of a battery, and generated electricity by colliding against each other. Boy did I feel like an idiot when I discovered the truth!

Jigsaw

Because of old black and white films I used to think that the real world used to be black and white until one day it became colour.

I subsequently found out that this was not the case.

abelard

Jigsaw wrote:

Because of old black and white films I used to think that the real world used to be black and white until one day it became colour.

I subsequently found out that this was not the case.

Exactly what I was going to post

smithy1981

I used to think that turning the steering wheel made the car move. The faster you did it the faster the car went.

Extreme-LoopZ

When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say "a river"


I think that's very poetic for a 4 year old!;)

Rowley Birkin QC

I used to think that the readybrek man would jump out of the box if my mam made me said breakfast porridge. Still a little dissapointed really.

rororoyourboat

i remember being shocked to my core on learning that my mother's name was not "Mammy".

Ruu_Old

That me (and other children) were born under cabbages. :eek:

mikemac

You often hear about court cases on TV, and they say Mr. Justice Mahan or Mr. Justice Carney for example.
I thought you couldn’t be a judge unless your first name was Justice.

Also, we had to read as Gaelige in school and if you made no mistakes you got a gold star sticker.
If you ever watch Nuacht, they separate the scrolling text with stars. So I thought the presenter must be realy good at Irish as they weren’t making any mistakes.

Jigsaw

Jigsaw wrote:

Because of old black and white films I used to think that the real world used to be black and white until one day it became colour.

I subsequently found out that this was not the case.

Same

Bubs101

Aged 7 I said sex was gay because it was with girls.

Oh the shame

Love2love

The news was always on in my house and when they would say they found a body, I use to think that it was just a torso with no arms or legs.I don't know why!

captainautumn

I used to think that there were only two countries in the world, Ireland and England, as these were the only two countries shown on the weather forecast maps at the time.

From watching Grand Prix racing on the tele, I was sure that if any car veered off the road and on to grass it was sure to burst into flames. Boy was I scared when Daddy lit a cigarette whilst driving!!!

After watching a western and seeing the credits roll I was sure that the........................that joined the actor the character played represented the amount of bullets that the character fired in the film.

bluto63

That when people died in movies, they died in real life

Arathorn

When I heard that wearing a condom stops a woman getting pregnant in the school yard, I assumed it was some kind of chain a man wore around his neck :eek:

Wertz

Up until about the age of 7 or 8 I had a theory that only the parts of the world around me that I could see/hear/feel/sense existed and that everywhere else was kind of suspended when I wasn't there to witness it (sort of like the "if a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?" philosophical thing)....things like phones and TV shot some holes in my thesis on that one, but I held onto the idea for as long as I could plausibly deny the truth...

JIZZLORD

i thought bbc was irish and was confused with all the english accents and such,
the logic was that it was bbc northern ireland i was watching

Smellyirishman

That there was a big dude up in the sky controlling all of our lives.

I thought Dublin and Ireland were the same thing.

Anto McC

My cousin always used to say that if you feed bread with butter on it to pigeons,they turn into seagulls.

Earthhorse

Jigsaw wrote:

Because of old black and white films I used to think that the real world used to be black and white until one day it became colour.

I subsequently found out that this was not the case.

This, and that people on TV paid to be on TV so they could be famous and this was how the channels made their money.

00112984

Dragan wrote:

That when i walked i turned the world rather than moving along the face of it.

I was only 5.

Wow- you were a very deep 5 year old!

I used to believe that I my Dad bought me in the local shop for a pound. I was a cute baby for sale on the shelf and he didn't like leaving me there on my own. He brought me home and my Mom was mad at him because the pound she had given him was to buy milk
My Dad was always a great storyteller.

Mushy

I used to think that if I somehow broke the tv screen, I'd be in the same place as to where the people were reading the news, as in right beside them. Oh the disappointment of ever watching tv now!

blah

I also believed that the world was B+W before 1960, although I always imagined the world of cavemen or dinosaurs in colour.

My Dad told me that when someone got killed in a movie it wasn't blood, it was just tomato ketchup, so I believed that was exactly what they used. He also told me that the priest was literally God. Reminds me of this guy.

I also assumed that because my uncle and cousin lived with my grandmother (my uncle's mother) that my grandmother must be my cousin's mother (ew).

I believed that when I was going up the stairs, the devil would burst in the door and shoot me in the back, that's why I always needed to get up to the landing as fast as possible.

Mr. CooL ICE

smithy1981 wrote:

I used to think that turning the steering wheel made the car move. The faster you did it the faster the car went.

Join the club!

I used to think that houses grew in the ground just like trees (i was 4)

I also thought that condoms were for pissing into, cos i couldn't find another reason where one would put it on oneself in that place (i was about 9 - shameful).

AlmightyCushion

LordChessington wrote:

I also thought that condoms were for pissing into, cos i couldn't find another reason where one would put it on oneself in that place (i was about 9 - shameful).

Reminds me of that episode of south park.

blah

smithy1981 wrote:

I used to think that turning the steering wheel made the car move. The faster you did it the faster the car went.

How many of us were allowed to drive the car at the beach, sitting on our dads' laps and proceeded to try and turn the steering wheel left and right?

Baby4

This post has been deleted.

OctavarIan

blah wrote:

I believed that when I was going up the stairs, the devil would burst in the door and shoot me in the back, that's why I always needed to get up to the landing as fast as possible.

Hahaha, I had something similar. When going upstairs at night if the lights were off downstairs I'd sprint up as fast as I could or else a crocodile would grab my legs! Later this became a fear of looking at windows in the dark in case I saw Holy Mary looking in at me.

When the lights in my room were out and I'd be returning from the loo, I'd practically do a long jump across my room into my bed in case something grabbed me from the floor.

Also I had to check under the toilet seat for Black Widow spiders before I sat on it (that became an annoying habit, even after I was told that it couldn't happen because they didn't live in Ireland)

[edit]I also thought that my toys had feelings, and I always felt so much guilt whenever I broke any or whenever they were moved up to attic.

blah

Oh yeah, for some strange reason I thought that my arse was the front of my trousers :rolleyes:

MonkeyWrench

When I was about 5 I watched one of micheal jacksons videos where there is a beam of light coming from his head, I thought that it was actual footage of his hair catching fire..:D

oleras

blah wrote:

Oh yeah, for some strange reason I thought that my arse was the front of my trousers :rolleyes:

obviously never got a kick in the arse as a child then......;)

Zapp Brannigan

I used to think Stinger bars would make me impervious to being stung by stinger nettles. How wrong I was!

Revelation Joe

I thought that all the bands were playing live on the radio i.e The Jam packed up all their gear and then Madness came in
Because I lived in England, I thought that when a football team got relegated from Division Four (what they now call League Two), they went to play in Scotland, because that's how the results were read out.
And I thought each team got a certain number of kicks, and a free kick was the referee letting them have an extra kick.

Piste

I only learned my Mum and Dad's real names when I was three, it never occured to me that they'd be called anything other than "Mum" and "Dad".

Tragamin2k2

blah wrote:

He also told me that the priest was literally God.

I remember being about 4 or 5 and being in mass(gods house) when everyone was standing up and i was too small to see what was happening and the priest was reading something and i asked "mammy" who was talking and she said "shhh, its jesus" and i thought "oh cool i heard about him in school, and now i get to see him" but i couldent see over everyones head

johnp

Jigsaw wrote:

Because of old black and white films I used to think that the real world used to be black and white until one day it became colour.

I subsequently found out that this was not the case.

Me too.
Also that Superman was real. But I still haven't fully validated that he isn't.

Rowley Birkin QC

Also I thought that when I left a room that once the door was closed the door and everyone in there disappeared, then reappeared when I went back in there.

God complex +1

monkey tennis

Dragan wrote:

That when i walked i turned the world rather than moving along the face of it.

I was the same, except with cars. Crossroads really messed with my brain

lil'one

I used to think that someday i'd catch up in age to my big sister:)
I also asked my parents to buy those mint ferrero rocher thinking if i ate one my eyes would turn really green like the girl in the advert:)

GrumPy

I made a discovery when I was still in nappys, (not sure age, prolly 3, 4ish)

I had a hole in my bum

GenericName

Before I started school I thought the older kids learned magic spells and did 'spelling tests'.

I've probably never been more disappointed.

Kazooie

I used to think that if a man left his penis in a vagina for half an hour, the owner of said vagina would become pregnant, and if it was left in for an hour she would have twins. Hour and half for triplets etc.....

CathyMoran

I used to think that cats were female and dogs were male.

ladybirdirl

I used to wonder where they got all the cats to bury them eyes up in the road as cat's eyes

the shame:p

skelliser

i thought "L" plates on cars signified Lady drivers, cause one day my dad was shoutin "fecken women drivers" at this women driving and i saw the L plates, put two and two together, QED!!

Twinkers

I used to think that the pouring 'glass and a half of milk' picture on a dairy milk wrapper was actually golf clubs. Like two drivers with covers on....:o

cregser

bigkev49 wrote:

Also I thought that when I left a room that once the door was closed the door and everyone in there disappeared, then reappeared when I went back in there.

God complex +1

Heh. I thought that since I couldn't hear anyone elses thoughts, nobody else existed. It was only me and this show that someone was putting on for me. That was from a fairly young age (don't know when exactly) and I guess I can't really prove it wrong.

I thought Leeds football team (my Dad supported them) was a country and picked them for World Cup when playing footy on the road.
I also had that fear of looking at dark windows and having dark places behind my back.
I remember getting new runners and actually thinking they made me run alot faster.

One thing that was great was my sister thinking that 20penny coins was worth a LOT more than a £1 coin. That worked to my advantage...
I was pretty gullible though and was once convinced to ask for ice-cream of the ice cream van with no money.

tallus

My mam told me I'd get square eyes from looking at tv and I totally believed it!.

sunny2004

Kazooie wrote:

I used to think that if a man left his penis in a vagina for half an hour, the owner of said vagina would become pregnant, and if it was left in for an hour she would have twins. Hour and half for triplets etc.....

In fairness this is not that far from the truth !