Would you leave a toddler asleep in a car?

abi2007

Hi All,
I just wanted to ask this question as of a recent event that happened.
anyway about two weeks ago myself and my mam took my little girl to our local retail pk. When we finished shopping I had started putting my little one into her car seat I noticed a little girl about 1 1/2 fast asleep in the car beside us. I said it to my mam and we decided to wait till some returned to the car. after about ten mins nobody came my mam at this stage was paniking thinking that the parent my have forgotten the child so she decided to ring the guards. it was about 15mins after that that the lady returned to her car with another child with her. my mam confronted the lady and said to her that she really shouldn't leave the child unattended. the women was really smart and commented 'should i not?' in a really smart tone. my mam tried to explain to her especially with recent events (madeline) that anything chould happen but the lady really couldn't see what she did wrong and was annoyed with my mam for calling the guards. she ask my mam to ring the guards and tell them that everything was ok but my mam decided to wait and spoke to the guards when they came. she gave them the reg and they said they'd follow it up. I really hope they do, might teach this lady a valuble lesson.

siochain

:mad: Absolutely disgraceful.

Not just the recent events, there are the physical and mental health aspects.

Was one of the windows partially down to allow air in? Imagine how distraught the child would be if the woke up alone in a car park with no one around.

Shocking …..

G&T

Something similar happened in a car park near me.
I passed a car,with a sleeping child alone on my way into pick up a few thing's,took me 10min's.
When I came out the child was still asleep and alone.
I waited 10 more min's watching the child but then I had to go,
I was very tempted to leave a note on the car but didn't,
It was a warm day and the window's were all up and the car could not be seen from the shop.
I didn't know what to do!
I wonder what the guard's will do in this case?

abi2007

no all windows were up. We weren't sure to leave or not but i just couldn't go, we rang the guards because i wouldn't have been able to wait much longer and if we did go we'd never forgive ourselves if we heard later that day that something did happen and we did nothing.

Trinity

No way on earth.

Now this may be an urban legend, but i am almost certain i heard of a case where a man left his newborn in the car, forgot about the baby in the back and went to work, and the baby died. ??

Someone in after hours posted similar last year where a mother regularly left her kids in the car and went to the gym or sunbeds in the gym or something.

WOuld love to know what happened there too as the OP called the guards as well i believe.

undecided

The same happened me about a year ago a child around eight months was left sleeping in the car. was only waking as I returned to mine the child cried and cried window was closed and was quite hot. waited about 20 mins trying to distract the child to no avail then called security who went through the same proceedure for a further 30mins with the child still frantically crying! Then called the gaurds I got sick of waiting and broke the passenger window and opened the back door and took the child out & gave the child a bottle of my own child.

around 15 min later the mother arrived soon after ther gaurds arrived and the bitch tried to prosecute me for breaking her window! Gaurds said there would be futher action against her took my name but never heard anymore of it !

siochain

undecided wrote:

The same happened me about a year ago a child around eight months was left sleeping in the car. was only waking as I returned to mine the child cried and cried window was closed and was quite hot. waited about 20 mins trying to distract the child to no avail then called security who went through the same proceedure for a further 30mins with the child still frantically crying! Then called the gaurds I got sick of waiting and broke the passenger window and opened the back door and took the child out & gave the child a bottle of my own child.

around 15 min later the mother arrived soon after ther gaurds arrived and the bitch tried to prosecute me for breaking her window! Gaurds said there would be futher action against her took my name but never heard anymore of it !

that makes me sick to be honest, no wonder society is in such a state with this type of neglect and example been shown by parents.

RIRI

These are shocking stories lads, surely this is neglect? There have been plenty of occasions where my little lad falls alseep in the car when we're going somewhere, I don't like to wake him so I stay in the car with him so he can have his nap safely. It's disgraceful carry on to leave them alone like that. I wonder what the guards can do though?

Trinity

Its sickening. There are people crying out for children who cannot have them.

Mothers lose children everyday to illness. Our kids are not safe from sick paedos etc. If we dont protect them who will.

littlebug

I'm gobsmacked! Awful stories. Wasn't a man prosecuted recently for leaving his baby alone somewhere (?) while he went off drinking (can't remember the details:o ). Surely the same would apply in these cases?

loyatemu

Trinity1 wrote:

Its sickening. There are people crying out for children who cannot have them.

Mothers lose children everyday to illness. Our kids are not safe from sick paedos etc. If we dont protect them who will.

eh? in reality kids are not in any major danger from sick paedos.

But there's still no excuse for leaving a kid alone in a car like that - I've seen it a few times myself though, so theres obviously a fair amount of parent who see no problem with it.

Trinity

loyatemu wrote:

eh? in reality kids are not in any major danger from sick paedos.

But there's still no excuse for leaving a kid alone in a car like that - I've seen it a few times myself though, so theres obviously a fair amount of parent who see no problem with it.

In reality sexual abuse is rampant. In reality sick paedosn are fathers, uncles, family members, not your typical put it up on the internet or join a cult type of paedo.

In reality there are people on this board that were abused. By family members, trusted people in society.

In reality the police just broke up an international paedo ring with Irish people amongst them.

In reality an Irish scout leader was in the front of the herald yesterday, a married man about to be charged with child abuse or similar. In reality, if we open our eyes we can see exactly what goes on around the world.

It may not knock on your door and hopefully we may never encounter it but its out there. Sometimes closer than we think.

I was talking about the dangers these days, and referring to deliberately putting your own child in danger when you do your best to protect them from strangers or in some sad cases someone we know!

There is no point being too paranoid but there is nothing wrong with being vigilant or careful.

abi2007

Trinity,
I agree nothing wrong with being too careful. A lot of accidents with kids usually happen when they are not being watched properly. Things like kids fallin over balconies or gettin run over by cars. when i here stories like that i think to myself... well who was watching them?

Spud83

This may be urban myth but I once heard that you are leagally aloud to break a car window if an animal has been enclosed in the car without any air being let in. I cant find any links relating to this though so it is probably false.

If this is true though surely the same must be allowed for babies.

Trinity

abi2007 wrote:

Trinity,
I agree nothing wrong with being too careful. A lot of accidents with kids usually happen when they are not being watched properly. Things like kids fallin over balconies or gettin run over by cars. when i here stories like that i think to myself... well who was watching them?

I am of course talking worst case scenario and being dramatic but it does happen unfortunately just look at Madeliene McCann. Probably are good parents, but who knows. But I bet in their wildest dreams they wouldnt have imagined that what happened would happen when they made the decision to leave her unattended. And they have to live with that decision for the rest of their lives.

Hopefully none of us will ever have to deal with anything like that.

G&T

What would you say to the parent of the child when they returned,
I hate confrontation,is there anything that can be said to encourage them not to do it again but not have them scream at you?

littlebug

Trinity1 wrote:

Its sickening. There are people crying out for children who cannot have them.

Mothers lose children everyday to illness. Our kids are not safe from sick paedos etc. If we dont protect them who will.

Horrible though it is Trinity is right. I've had an incident where my daughter, then aged 3, was the subject of attention of man who, unknown to me, was a convicted paedophile. Thankfully someone who knew his history spotted what was going on and "escorted him from the premises" with a warning not to come back and never to look at our child again. I know that's off the original topic but the point is that you just cannot leave little kids alone and unprotected.

littlebug

G&T wrote:

What would you say to the parent of the child when they returned,
I hate confrontation,is there anything that can be said to encourage them not to do it again but not have them scream at you?

To be honest I wouldn't give a rats if they screamed at me if just maybe they'd have the cop on not to do it again and put their child in danger of injury, death, accident, kidnap etc etc....

G&T

littlebug wrote:

To be honest I wouldn't give a rats if they screamed at me if just maybe they'd have the cop on not to do it again and put their child in danger of injury, death, accident, kidnap etc etc....

I alway's have at least one of my kid's with me when im out so I wouldn't want to get involved on a screaming match because it would upset them.

esmeralda

Quote:
Originally Posted by littlebug
To be honest I wouldn't give a rats if they screamed at me if just maybe they'd have the cop on not to do it again and put their child in danger of injury, death, accident, kidnap etc etc....

I alway's have at least one of my kid's with me when im out so I wouldn't want to get involved on a screaming match because it would upset them.[/

You're both right, but there is something else to take into account. The kind of person who thinks it's perfectly OK to leave a toddler alone in a car is also the kind of person who will berate/scream at anyone who tries to point out the wrongs, dangers of that or any other inane action they perform (probably plenty). Not only will they scream at you it will not occur to them in their wildest dreams that they have done something terrible - you may as well try to explain the finer points of rocket science to them... in short you have had a very nasty experience for nothing, and for them it's like water off a duck's back - screaming matches and nasty retorts are a way of life for them. I think the OP did the best thing in calling the guards - even if they didn't arrive as promptly as they should have -but I think that I would call the guards and then go or observe from a distance just in case, - it's the guards' responsibility and you had done your bit by calling.

heyjude

I came across an even more disturbing situation earlier this year. I was going into the local post office and was a bit suspicious that there was a Mercedes parked outside with the engine left running, as I got closer I noticed a young child/toddler in a seat in the back, with nobody else in the car.

As I entered the post office, a woman passed me in the doorway and got into the car and drove off.

I was amazed, leaving a young kid like that in the car alone was bad enough, but leaving the engine running :eek:

Sometimes you wonder whether the wrong people have children !

run_Forrest_run

heyjude wrote:

I came across an even more disturbing situation earlier this year. I was going into the local post office and was a bit suspicious that there was a Mercedes parked outside with the engine left running, as I got closer I noticed a young child/toddler in a seat in the back, with nobody else in the car.

As I entered the post office, a woman passed me in the doorway and got into the car and drove off.

I was amazed, leaving a young kid like that in the car alone was bad enough, but leaving the engine running :eek:

Sometimes you wonder whether the wrong people have children !

I am annoyed to hear this...a typical selfish lazy yummy mummy in her merc not giving a sh*t about her child. Any fool can have a child but it takes a bit of work and common sense to be a decent parent. I would love to confront these people and I wouldn't care if they got snotty with me. They would be the first to start an all out scene if their kid was snatched or anything. The poor kids.

deisemum

I may have posted similar here or else on another site about 1-2 years ago. I went to a supermarket 10 miles from me and parked in the carpark. I was listening to something funny on the radio so took my time getting out of my car and putting the 2 toddlers that I mind into the seats in the shopping trolley.

All this time (about 10 - 15 mins) I noticed a baby, I reckon 8 - 10 months old asleep in the car beside me. It was a sunny day with the sun shining in on top of the baby.

I went into the supermarket to the customer service desk but had to wait about 5 mins for my turn. All this time I was keeping an eye on the car to see if the parent had returned. I raised my concerns with the woman who called for a security guard. She got him to go out and wait by the car and the customer service woman called out the registration number and for the owner to come to customer service.

I was coming through the check out about 45 mins later. The customer service woman came over to me to let me know that the parents never came to the customer service desk but had continued shopping. When they went to their car the customer service woman joined the security guard and said they knew the baby had been left alone in the car for at least an hour and pointed out the dangers.

THe two parents were together. Once they put the shopping in the boot they left the baby and went to the local coffee shop. Talk about brass necks. At this the customer service woman called the Gardai, the Garda station is alongside the car park. The customer service woman told me the gardai had a look in the car window at the baby and then went to speak with the parents who said the baby was ok. The gardai did absolutely nothing and condoned it. I've looked after the children of a garda in the past and I don't think I'd get away with abandoning their children.

I took my time putting my shopping in the boot, strapping in the two children and then waited until the parents came back 15 minutes later.

I was very upset by the whole thing, so were some of the supermarket staff. I was there for 1 hour and 40 mins approx and that baby was left sleeping unattended by it's parents for the whole time. When I got home I phoned my local social worker (someone I know) for advice. She was appalled but said that they couldn't do anything unless the Gardai contacted them. I told her I had the car registration number so she advised me to phone the Gardai and report what I witnessed.

I phoned the Garda station and the garda that answered tried to fob me off and that 2 of her colleagues had looked into it and that the baby was ok. I asked her if she thought it would be ok for me as a childminder to abandon any child I was minding for at least 1 hour 40 mins in a car. In the end she took the car registration number but I didn't hear anymore so don't know what happened. I very much doubt the gardai did anything because I had to practically force her to take the registration number.

When I was speaking to the social worker she told me that only the day before this incident the gardai from my local station (different from the one above) reported a woman to them, she'd left her baby in it's buggy outside a small shop while she nipped in to get something. That woman wasn't more than 2 minutes gone but it just so happened that a garda was passing and spotted the baby unattended so the gardai reported the mother to social services.

I was absolutely disgusted by those parents and it played on my mind for a few days. You need a licence for a dog yet some parents are so neglectful of their children.

maryjane1

wow i hadnt realised how common this was. i was in a supermarket once and there was a toddler about 2- 3 years old strapped into the front seat of a car fast asleep. i informed the security guard and he went to wait by the car. how can these people do this!

BoozyBabe

I would, & I wouldn't tbh.

In a car park, or somewhere public like that, not a chance.
1st of all, what if someone crashed into the car.
What if someone broke into the car.
What if the child wakened up screeching
I'm not close by to keep a close eye.
Can't keep doors windows open etc, for good ventilation.
In that circumstance, absolutely NOT!!!!

But, say you're driving home from town, the baby falls asleep on the journey.
You arrive home & park the car at the kitchen window.
In that instance, I'd have no problem leaving the child in the car.
I'd put the windows down a bit & peak at the child every few minutes to see if they've wakened.
Better that than move them & waken them, thus disrupting their sleep.
But that's the ONLY time I'd do it. & still wouldn't if I lived in a housing estate or somewhere like that.

metrovelvet

95% of women wouldn't leave a handbag in a car. Is this question for real?

BoozyBabe

metrovelvet wrote:

95% of women wouldn't leave a handbag in a car. Is this question for real?

Haven't you walked passed parked cars & seen toddlers sleeping in them before?
If not, I don't know where you've been!!!
It's an all to often sighting unfortunately.
I think it should be a child neglection offence.

metrovelvet

BoozyBabe wrote:

Haven't you walked passed parked cars & seen toddlers sleeping in them before?
If not, I don't know where you've been!!!
It's an all to often sighting unfortunately.
I think it should be a child neglection offence.

No. I haven't seen it, EVER.

siochain

metrovelvet wrote:

No. I haven't seen it, EVER.

never seen it either,

Orion

That is disgraceful. And I'm pretty sure illegal too. There is no way a baby should be left unattended for any period of time. You did right to call the guards - at the very least they will have to get social services involved - not that I've great faith in them either but the shock might prevent these parents from doing it again.

deisemum

BoozyBabe wrote:

Haven't you walked passed parked cars & seen toddlers sleeping in them before?
If not, I don't know where you've been!!!
It's an all to often sighting unfortunately.
I think it should be a child neglection offence.

I've seen numerous babies and toddlers left on their own asleep in cars and it is a fairly common occurance. I know of one woman who used to meet her friends at a local leisure centre for a swim etc and leave her twins asleep in her van instead of putting them in the creche provided.

prospect

The only time I would leave my little one in the car is when I am paying for diesel. This is because it only takes a minute, and I can see the car at all times.

That said, I usually leave the window slightly open (rear drivers side, she is rear passenger side), and obviously have the car locked.

Gillie

Its up there with the bástards who don't put seatbelts on children. Especially Toddlers!

dame

How about leaving a child of three loose in an unlocked car (not in a car seat), while you walk away and around a corner to leave back a trolley? Have seen that done believe it or not. It was hardly even two mins but two mins could be long enough for a child to wander out in front of a car or anything.

Nevyn

Ever seen a child in a run away trolley ?
I have seen it twice so far, the parent was packing the shoopping out of the trolly and into the car with the toddler in the trolly and when enough weight was gone from the trolley it started to roll due to the slope of the carpark.
Each time I got to the troilly just before it hit a car and as the parent turned back around.

People are just not mindful enough.

Crea

My husband worked in a company where one the guys had a child of about 5. He would work days and the wife (a nurse!) worked evenings. She would drop the child to him at 3.45pm. Then the child would be left in his car until he finished work which was around 5.30 or 6. I used to pick up my hubby at 5.30 and the child would by lying accross the back window of the car bored off his head. If he needed anything he could let himself out, walk accross the car park and go into the company and get his dad:eek:
One day someone reached into the car, opened the door and stole a phone. The child was really upset but it didn't stop the parents from leaving him there everyday.

loyatemu

dame wrote:

How about leaving a child of three loose in an unlocked car (not in a car seat), while you walk away and around a corner to leave back a trolley? Have seen that done believe it or not. It was hardly even two mins but two mins could be long enough for a child to wander out in front of a car or anything.

most cars have child-locks on the back doors (ie they can't be opened from the inside). whether people use them or not, I don't know.

Deadevil129

Reading this has reminded me of something I saw when I was a child. I must have been about 4 or 5 and I was sitting in my parents office waiting for my Mum to finish work. I looked out the window and saw a boy I went to school with sitting in a car that was stopped in the middle of the road. So I point to the car, "look mummy it's David!". So my mother who hadn't the faintest idea who Richard was comes over to have a look and realised that there's flames coming out of the front of the car. We go down to ourside the building to look closer at the car and see now that not only have the flames gotten considerably larger but David's mother is running in circles around the car trying to tell everyone around how much the car's worth while her son sits, still strapped into the back of the car.

flyz

loyatemu wrote:

most cars have child-locks on the back doors (ie they can't be opened from the inside). whether people use them or not, I don't know.

That's not much good if the child is unrestrained in an empty car and can get out the front doors.


Here in NZ, there was an incident last year where a couple left their 3 month (or so) old baby in the back of a car over night while they went to a party.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

abi2007 wrote:

Hi All,
so she decided to ring the guards. it was about 15mins after that that the lady returned to her car ...............my mam decided to wait and spoke to the guards when they came.

erm... how long did it take the guards to come.
i would have thought that they would have considered this life threatening situation (i would with windows closed) and arrive ASAP,

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

deisemum wrote:

I've seen numerous babies and toddlers left on their own asleep in cars and it is a fairly common occurance. I know of one woman who used to meet her friends at a local leisure centre for a swim etc and leave her twins asleep in her van instead of putting them in the creche provided.

some people make my blood boil...that behaviour is sick...
smells of that poor Madilen McGann case.... some fcuking people:mad:

di11on

\m/_(>_<)_\m/ wrote:

some people make my blood boil...that behaviour is sick...
smells of that poor Madilen McGann case.... some fcuking people:mad:

Man, imagine waking up and you're strapped in a seat with no-one around you and no way to get out... you and I would freak... yet some people think it's ok to do this to the most vunerbale people there are and which they have the sole and ultimate responsibility of care towards.

Amazing.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

di11on wrote:

Man, imagine waking up and you're strapped in a seat with no-one around you and no way to get out... you and I would freak...

never thought of it that way....jezzzzzzzus now that is frighting.
I'm surprised some kids aren't scared for life...i suppose some poor ould devils are

Deliverance

di11on wrote:

Man, imagine waking up and you're strapped in a seat with no-one around you and no way to get out... you and I would freak... yet some people think it's ok to do this to the most vunerbale people there are and which they have the sole and ultimate responsibility of care towards.

Amazing.

I think that is a very good point. I tend to show my little girl the same respect in that sense by thinking how would I feel if that was me, and I treat her as such, little kids have a much bigger fear factor to deal with, being so helpless and emotionally underdeveloped, in my opinion.

Point in fact is bedtime I have a routine for bedtime which starts a half hour beforehand so that she knows it is coming, by the time bedtime comes she goes down easy, she puts her favourite stuffed animals to bed first and they 'fall asleep' shortly afterwards she follows and is quite happy. I think that if I just announced 'bedtime' and picked her up and dropped her into her cot and left, then she would cry herself to sleep.

I think a little time and thought makes things a whole lot easier for child and parent.
The leaving of a child in a car alone is something which is beyond me, I in all good conscience could never do it for a lot of reasons already posted by responsible parents on this thread, what were they thinking leaving a kid alone like that!!

gaeilgegrinds

Absolutely not! It infuriates me to no end! Were the parents embarrassed or did they think this was ok behaviour? Under no circumstances, totally irresponsible.

cormac_byrne

I would call the Gardai immediately. If I had concerns for the health / safety of the child I wouldn't hesitate to force entry into the car prior to their arrival.

It's perfectly legal to damage property in order to safeguard a life.
('lawful excuse' I believe it's termed)

If possible I would use a jack handle or tyre lever to force open a door rather then breaking a window (for fear of showering the baby with glass)

EcoGirl

Likewise, I witnessed this once; three children, 3, 2, and baby, in car. I rang our local guards, and waited till they came - about 10 mins, they didn't rush themselves, and didn't seem overconcerned when they got there.

But I always remember the Jamie Bolger case - a woman actually stopped the two boys iwth the crying Jamie, and questined them, and believed their answers (that they were bringing him to the police station), and let them on their way. I often think of her and how awful she will feel for the rest of her life. And I swore I would never be that woman. So I'll continue to do what I need to do, up to breaking windows if I need to (which hasn't happened yet).

It's shocking how neglectful so many parents are. Totally scary.

gaeilgegrinds

Do the Gardaí actually do anything though? Is it true Madelline's parents are being taken to court over being negligent or is that an urban myth?

gaeilgegrinds

Do the Gardaí actually do anything though? Is it true Madelline's parents are being taken to court over being negligent or is that an urban myth?

cathy01

the person who broke the window and called the Garda done the right thing.I would never leave my 4 year old alone in the car.Wake her/Him.
There are dangers everywhere, why leave our children like a red flag to a bull alone, ...
Would never happen with me.To the person who broke the window ,
WELL DONE
we need more people like you.I may be OTT, with not letting people take scean vioews of MY KIDS while in a swimming pool as I dont know who they are.Freak, over pro mother ,maybe.But I never ever take a chance.
Cathy

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

cormac_byrne wrote:

I would call the Gardai immediately.

ah but what if the child was in imminent danger, no point in calling the guards then...the child would be dead...

abi2007 wrote:

Hi All,
so she decided to ring the guards. it was about 15mins after that that the lady returned to her car ..........................but my mam decided to wait and spoke to the guards when they came.

na break the window....then call the ambulance...at least the will show up that day and they will call the guards...the boys in blue will show up for them in a hurry alright