Pointless questions you ask yourself for no apparent reason

BlitzKrieg

So at work yesterday (or was it the day before? meh) and I get one of thos random thoughts in my head. A query of the most pointless sort. But your mind asks them anyway.


I now have two really stupid questions stuck in my head.


1. If I was to take into account every bit of pork ham sausage and every other pig based product I have eaten in my lifetime, How many average sized pigs have I eaten in my lifetime? (I think the answer is close to 66)


2. If Sky one and E4 were to on the same day go back to the first episode of both the simpsons and Friends and play both series out fully (excluding new simpsons episodes) who would finish first? (I assumed at first Friends, but E4 only show 2 episodes a day, while Sky one shows close to 6 if not more episodes of simpsons a day.)


So what are those stupid questions and query's that pop into your head?

Mahatma coat

Like why did I open this thread

Seriously tho that pork one is a good question, given the amount of actual pork in sausages I'd say its a lot lss than 66 pigs, however we'll need to know the variables,

how old are you
on average how much Pork/Ham/Bacon product do you consume in week (outline please)
would you count smokeybacon crisps , does black pudding *o*** as itcontains pig blood (which I believe to be an integral part of any Pig)

Actualy - damm you and your silly questions you've got me going now!

half a pig (Hanging weight 78 Lbs) Gives

---

----
13 Pork chops 1" - total of 23 pork chops, 7 packs of 2 + 3 packs of 3
3 Spare Ribs - Ask for my mother's recipe if you need one
9 Hamburger/Sausage ground meat in 1 lb packages
15 Fresh Ham - easily brined or sent for smoking
8 Fresh Bacon Slab - brine & slice or send for smoking
10 Shoulder Roast
4 Butt Pork Roast
5 Stew Bones - good for dogs if you don't make soup or stew
8 Fat - you can render this or feed it to dogs or chickens

---

----

http://sugarmtnfarm.com/blog/uploaded_images/PorkCutsChart-723007.jpg
handy graphic.

Again God Damm you and your planting of strange questions in my head, now I'm tryin to wirk out how much I eat

monkeyfudge

Reminds me of the episode of Robot Chicken where the guy goes to heaven and his given the book of his life and he becomes obsessed with asking how much poop he's done in his life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UlXWDoam2A

gucci

monkeyfudge wrote:

Reminds me of the episode of Robot Chicken where the guy goes to heaven and his given the book of his life and he becomes obsessed with asking how much poop he's done in his life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UlXWDoam2A

hahaha 2.7 miles!! quality link!

c - 13

This ones been the cause of pub arguments with over a year now -
If a horse and a dolphin were to compete in a race over a one mile stretch, the horse on a grass bank and the dolphin in a canal beside the bank (assuming that the canal is large enough to accomadate the dolphins movements easily and that the grass bank is completely flat and both are free of obstructions). Which would be the fastest ?

Theres plenty more, ill post if I think of any.

I'm backing the dolphin BTW

Mahatma coat

I'd back the horse if it was a Steeplechase

FlutterinBantam

I dropped a load the size of a Hippo's leg in Kiely's of Donnybrook last Tuesday.

Where would it be now????

Off the coast of Lambay?

Down in Ringsend?

Still in the treatment centre?

Still in the pipes on the way to the sludge farm?

I always wonder where it all goes

who is responsible for scrapping the very dead/flat animals from the side of the m50
there has been a hedgehog and some kind of fox/cat theres near the toll for a while now

Duggy747

Why does petrol be deadly and smell so lovely at the same time?

How long would your nails grow if you never cut them in your life (Say 80 years.)

How litres of sweat comes out of ya.

Bah, bloody thread has got me pondering now!!

pclancy

A thought popped into my head last night whilst sitting in the sitting room with my female flatmate..."is it weird being in bed with blokes when their legs are so hairy?". She just said no and we went back to our laptops. Weird.

Cormic

What does blue taste like - I always wondered that one.

Also what are blind peoples dreams like.

L31mr0d

lol... on the way to work every morning I pass through this unused carpark and theres this used condom on the ground beside the kerb that I have to step over everyday, nobody comes here to sweep the road, the car parks surrounded by trees and walls so there is little wind and not many people walk through here, so how long will it take for this condom to rot into non existence before I don't have to step over it anymore. Its been there for 4 months now.

Also, where do all the fallen leaves go? Its not like one day you see a load of leaf dust flying around, one day they are brown and crusty, the next day they are just gone.

Pinkfoot

Cormic wrote:

What does blue taste like - I always wondered that one.

Also what are blind peoples dreams like.

Oooh...you've got me wondering about the blind peoples dreams!

Dun laoire

How many times have you blinked since you were born. The answer is there you just have to find it.

blahhh

do we all see colours the same.....or is my blue someone else's orange or something...?

What language do deaf people think in? .....sign language?

Can I one day keep my eyes open while sneezing?

boneless

What would the coyote do if he actually caught Roadrunner???

Duggy747

Are gay guys turned on by their own willy?

Seriously though that blind dream one is good.

Whats the point of using a dishwasher when you have to rinse the dishes first before you put them in, you've them almost clean by then.

Who came up with the bright idea of: "The next thing that comes out of that chicken's ass I'm gonna eat it!"

or :"I'll drink that white stuff that comes out of one of the cow's 6 willies!"

c - 13

Do some of the bigger budget porn movie scripts have the sex scene dialogue written into them or do they just go -
Person 1 : Blah Blah
** Raunchy Sex Scene **
Person 2 : Blah

Linford

I once worked out when I would be 1 billion seconds old... 31 years and 7 months (can't remember the exact days hours and minutes)

Red Hand

"Remember your conception?"

Mrs_Doyle

If it takes a man a week to walk a fortnight, how many apples are in a barrel of grapes?

gurramok

FlutterinBantam wrote:

I dropped a load the size of a Hippo's leg in Kiely's of Donnybrook last Tuesday.

How about having that dump maybe 200 years ago.

It makes one wonder would we be comfy havin craps in the middle of a forest with nothing to wipe your arse except the nearest and biggest leaf or with your own hand? :eek:

AlmightyCushion

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote:

"Remember your conception?"

Yeah it wasn't great.

gurramok

Who put us here on earth?

Other than God as an answer, who created earth, who created the universe?

Where did the universe come from, via God?...or who created God then?

To sum up, how da fluk did we end up here on this planet and not a different planet?

Steve_o

If you had x-ray glasses and could see through anything, would you then technically see through everything and actually see nothing???

AlmightyCushion

What'll I have for lunch?

Steve_o

AlmightyCushion wrote:

What'll I have for lunch?

....a barrel of grapes:rolleyes:

Duggy747

Flash, can he be so fast that he could catch up to himself?

monkeyfudge

boneless wrote:

What would the coyote do if he actually caught Roadrunner???

Sodomise him.

boneless

monkeyfudge wrote:

Sodomise him.

It makes sense I suppose... sexy little beast, those long lashes get me too.

knird evol

2 questions answered ..........
the corpo have a dead animal section. its someones job to scrape dead
animals off the road. prob each local authority something similar.
people born blind dream but with no visuals, just other senses. People that
have become blind can dream and see stuff in dreams.

1. Can the colour blind see rainbows
2. why do snooze alarms go off every nine minutes

tampopo

Every evening on the 6.1 news they say "and next, more stories from our reporters and correspondants from around the country"

What's the difference between a reporter and a correspondant?

Red Hand

I think a correspondent lives in a place, whereas a reporter roves. Bah!

imeatingchips

what colour is a black man's dandruff??

well, just so happens i saw some on a fellas shoulder on the train this morn so i know the ans

Jesus Wept

gurramok wrote:

Who put us here on earth?

Other than God as an answer, who created earth, who created the universe?

Where did the universe come from, via God?...or who created God then?

To sum up, how da fluk did we end up here on this planet and not a different planet?

God created the earth and universe in 7 days, uptil that point, he was just chillin'

:rolleyes:

Pompey Magnus

Here's one that has been worrying me:

If a scientist was to create an exact doppleganger of myself when I am asleep, who has exactly the same memories that I have up to the point of his creation, and put both of us in a room and wake us up, how could I be sure that I was actually the real me, and not in fact the doppleganger of the real me which is actually him, with his memories in my brain?

Jesus Wept

Depeche_Mode wrote:

Here's one that has been worrying me:

If a scientist was to create an exact doppleganger of myself when I am asleep, who has exactly the same memories that I have up to the point of his creation, and put both of us in a room and wake us up, how could I be sure that I was actually the real me, and not in fact the doppleganger of the real me which is actually him, with his memories in my brain?

I woudn't worry too much about it

weemcd

do animals dream?

Ive often thought how many whole chickens id have went through in my life (just cos i eat chicken way more than anything else.)

Do guide dogs think their owners are just stupid?

FHM usually has about 8 of these questions every week in their pub discussions bit, they are also typical lads mag fodder.

few choice questions from last months fhm:
did th terminator have a cock?
would you rather give up meat or alcohol?
never mind the 100 sexiest (women as voted for by readers) - who'd be the 100 dirtiest?

and finally one more from weemcd, are males naturally hornier than females?

AlmightyCushion

Depeche_Mode wrote:

Here's one that has been worrying me:

If a scientist was to create an exact doppleganger of myself when I am asleep, who has exactly the same memories that I have up to the point of his creation, and put both of us in a room and wake us up, how could I be sure that I was actually the real me, and not in fact the doppleganger of the real me which is actually him, with his memories in my brain?

If he created an identical you with the exact same memories than it doesn't matter who is the real one as your actions for the rest of your lifes would be the same. So kill the other guy. Problem solved. The only problem is that he already knows you are going to kill him now.:D

L31mr0d

Could we change out perception of time so that there is exactly 100 days in a year, 100 hours in a day and 100 minutes in an hour? (i.e. it takes 100 "days" to orbit the sun, and 100 hours for the earth to complete a rotation)

That being said what year would it be now if we wheren't using the AD, BCE scale and instead counting from the beginning of the earth or the universe?

ergonomics

Are there two boardsies who hate each other on boards but get along really well in real life? It would be better if they were in love or married or something irl but depise each other on boards. Kinda like a reveresed 'You've Got Mail'.

Feral Mutant

weemcd wrote:

do animals dream?

Mammals do and I think birds do as well. That's it though.

AlmightyCushion

ergonomics wrote:

Are there two boardsies who hate each other on boards but get along really well in real life? It would be better if they were in love or married or something irl but depise each other on boards. Kinda like a reveresed 'You've Got Mail'.

Start your search in the thunderdome.

Smellyirishman

L31mr0d wrote:

Could we change out perception of time so that there is exactly 100 days in a year, 100 hours in a day and 100 minutes in an hour? (i.e. it takes 100 "days" to orbit the sun, and 100 hours for the earth to complete a rotation)

Heh, I think about that one sometimes. I say yes.

Pompey Magnus

L31mr0d wrote:

Could we change out perception of time so that there is exactly 100 days in a year, 100 hours in a day and 100 minutes in an hour? (i.e. it takes 100 "days" to orbit the sun, and 100 hours for the earth to complete a rotation)

The hours and minutes are just arbitrary values so they could be changed I guess, but the days and years have nothing to do with our preception of time so you would have to speed up the earth's orbit of the sun, or slow down its rotation around its axis, in order to make earth orbit the sun in 100 "days".

monkeyfudge

Depeche_Mode wrote:

The hours and minutes are just arbitrary values so they could be changed I guess, but the days and years have nothing to do with our preception of time so you would have to speed up the earth's orbit of the sun, or slow down its rotation around its axis, in order to make earth orbit the sun in 100 "days".

.
You'd have to change the value of an hour.

2.4 Old Hours in 1 New Hour. Then you could have ten days weeks and introduce a system of job sharing to solve unemployment... you do your job for 5 days of the week and someone else comes in and does it for the next 5 days.

Newaglish

I think if you changed the length of a day things would get very confusing re: having more than one night in a day. Other issues with that plan would involve two winters in one year and people living to 300 years old.

On the questions front:

How do I know i'm not the only real person? Does everything else cease to exist when I'm not around? Is there really someone in the next room, living their own life, in their own mind, or are they really just an illusion for me?

Smellyirishman

Newaglish wrote:

I think if you changed the length of a day things would get very confusing re: having more than one night in a day. Other issues with that plan would involve two winters in one year and people living to 300 years old.

Not quite. At the moment, you have 24 hours in a day, each of 60 minutes; that equals 1440 minutes in a day. Now, let's say an hour lasted only 14.4 minutes... you now have 100 hours in the day. Still one dusk and one dawn.

Newaglish

Smellyirishman wrote:

Not quite. At the moment, you have 24 hours in a day, each of 60 minutes; that equals 1440 minutes in a day. Now, let's say an hour lasted only 14.4 minutes... you now have 100 hours in the day. Still one dusk and one dawn.

Oooooooooo...

*stares off into space*

Yeah, that works for me!

connundrum

How many is too many?

Answer me that and you'll save me a fortune

sam34

does anyone know why there are signs up in petrol stations saying no mobile phones? what damage can they do? a friend of mine says they can give off a spark that could ignite petrol but i dont buy that one...