New thread: Now with 80% less saturated fat

Duggy747

Anyone else find these poxy "400000% less" ads irritating? Does anybody actually feel guilty in the manner of: "Oh God!! I shouldn't have ate that Malteaser, now my ankles are going to swell and boils will appear on my face spewing hot pus over Mr. / Mrs. Right just as I'm about to give them a kiss!" instead of "Oh God!! I shouldn't have ate that, I'm going to regret that in the morning!!"??

I.S.T.

"New and Improved" is the worst. If it's improved how can it be new, if it's new how can it be improved?????

Ruu_Old

0g Trans fat! It has been on Pringles and other crisps for a while now. We have lost our way.

smashey

Cover everything in good old lard.

Duggy747

Is it just me or have the old crisp favourites lost their taste? Burger Bites have a "Now Baked!" stamp on them and they're not nice anymore, Monster Munch I'm sorry to see go, I bloody loved them!

AlmightyCushion

What about the "as seen on tv" sticker. I've seen some well established brands (can't remember them now) use this recently enough. I could understand years ago when tv was still kinda new but nowadays what's the point. Wow you can afford an ad on tv socan some german guy trying to sell me the golden hits of the seventies.

Ruu_Old

Duggy747 wrote:

Is it just me or have the old crisp favourites lost their taste? Burger Bites have a "Now Baked!" stamp on them and they're not nice anymore, Monster Munch I'm sorry to see go, I bloody loved them!

Some other company are making Monster Munch (is it Walkers now?) for a while now and changed everything, bastards! :mad:

whiskeyman

IrishSpeedTraps wrote:

"New and Improved" is the worst. If it's improved how can it be new, if it's new how can it be improved?????

'New & Improved!'

And to think, all this time I've been eating 'old and inferior'...

Duggy747

Some other company are making Monster Munch (is it Walkers now?) for a while now and changed everything, bastards!

Yea it's Gary Linnekar and his Walker buddies! I'll start bombing embassys if anyone touches Tayto Waffles or Hunky Dory's Buffalos with their health bonanza!!

AlmightyCushion

Ruu wrote:

Some other company are making Monster Munch (is it Walkers now?) for a while now and changed everything, bastards! :mad:

I think they're called mighty munch or something. God I used to love the old monster munch. They were full of artery clogging goodness.

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

Yea it's Gary Linnekar and his Walker buddies! I'll start bombing embassys if anyone touches Tayto Waffles or Hunky Dory's Buffalos with their health bonanza!!

There is the hunky dory lite ranch. The salt and vinegar doesn't resemble the taste of the normal salt and vinegar hunky dory's. They taste more like cardboard.

Archeron

Somebody in our office bought a bag of low fat sugar. Is that even possible?

Duggy747

Archeron wrote:

Somebody in our office bought a bag of low fat sugar. Is that even possible?

WTF? There's fat in sugar?

Ruu_Old

There is that artificial sweetner called Splenda.

Degsy

There's somey poxy bottled water that claims to have "15 times more oxygen" or something..wtf?Thats great if you're filling your goldfish bowl with the stuff but you cant absorb oxygen by drinking it!

cornbb

Worst of all is when they claim to measure an increase/decrease in something that is not measurable. "You're skin will look 20% more radiant!!" I feel sorry for the fcuking idiots who fall for this stuff.

Pherekydes

Duggy747 wrote:

WTF? There's fat in sugar?

No. Sugar is pure carbohydrate. As you obviously knew, anyway.

smashey

"As seen on TV"? Great. I saw a nuclear submarine on TV once and now I want one.

ruprect

New & improved- cheaper ingredients, improved our profits.

As seen on TV- thats why it costs so much, the fancy ads that YOU pay for- think of the price of vile beers

Washing powders have been out for decades, and get "now even more cleaning power" every few months, at this stage it should only take a few grains of powder to wash an army camps worth of muddy clothes.

"Low fat muffins"- 95% sugar, no room for fat,
"Milk is only 4% fat"- yeah but you drink it by the half kilo.

cooperguy

The ones I like (well hate really) are the products that claim they have only 0.00006% fat but they are filled with suger which is converted directly into fat if it isnt used as energy straight away!!

And of coarse there is the 0% suger products that are filled with artificial sweeteners that are twice as bad for you but are still marketed as healthier

And of coarse the pointless low fat milk that drops the fat content of milk from 3% to 2% or 1.5% its such a small drop its pointless unless your drinking cartons of the stuff everyday. Just give up the chocolate cake instead!!!!

Miguel_Sanchez

'New Improved Recipe - Original Flavour'

First off - Improved Recipe just means that they've figured out how to make it with cheaper ingredients.

And if they have a new recipe - how can it still be original flavour?

And 'original flavour' normally just means - MSG MSG MSG!!!!!

zuutroy

cornbb wrote:

Worst of all is when they claim to measure an increase/decrease in something that is not measurable. "You're skin will look 20% more radiant!!" I feel sorry for the fcuking idiots who fall for this stuff.

Ha...exactly what I was gonna post....What exactly is the SI unit of fabulousness?

aidan_walsh

zuutroy wrote:

What exactly is the SI unit of fabulousness?

1 Minogue.

simu

Yeah, I hate those x% less/more things. They're nearly all misleading. I pity the fools who rely on ads for their knowledge of good nutrition. No wonder people are having weight problems!

The worst is the ones for kids that go on and on about say, containing calcium and neglect to mention that eating something that's coated in sugar and chocolate is not exactly a nutritious breakfast.

Or the kids' ads that address "mums" or say "mums know that blah blah blah". What about the fathers? Do they not get a say? Do they think the mothers are total skivvies doing all the child-rearing? :mad:

rant over

KTRIC

And what the f*ck does "Thorten" mean ??

I wish these f*ckers would stop making up words to sell the same face cream year in year out.

Oh and while I'm on the subject that DNAge cream, how the f*ck can a cream change your DNA ???

AlmightyCushion

AlmightyCushion wrote:

What about the "as seen on tv" sticker. I've seen some well established brands (can't remember them now) use this recently enough. I could understand years ago when tv was still kinda new but nowadays what's the point. Wow you can afford an ad on tv socan some german guy trying to sell me the golden hits of the seventies.

Not too sure if we can mention products, a mod can edit..

Staire! As seen on the Late Late TV show

... what? 10 years ago?

byte

Deleted User wrote:

Not too sure if we can mention products, a mod can edit..

Staire! As seen on the Late Late TV show

... what? 10 years ago?

Ah, but you'll be delira with your Stira!

KTRIC

KTRIC wrote:

And what the f*ck does "Thorten" mean ??

I wish these f*ckers would stop making up words to sell the same face cream year in year out.

Oh and while I'm on the subject that DNAge cream, how the f*ck can a cream change your DNA ???

Note how they all say "APPEARS to reduce wrinkles"

KTRIC

I made a bloody fool of myself when i went into a Skoda dealer the other day and asked for that car thats made out of cake

Pure false advertising, the bastards :mad:

Jesus Wept

10% BIGGER BAG

...but what about the fcúking contents!?

simu

The-Rigger wrote:

10% BIGGER BAG

...but what about the fcúking contents!?

Think of all the extra air you're getting, ingrate!

Jesus Wept

simu wrote:

Think of all the extra air you're getting, ingrate!

Only if it's the type with 10 times the oxygen!!

BrandonBlock

You know what is ironic and funny, those drinks/foods etc advertised with "No sugar" and "No added sugar" that taste really sweet are loaded with aspartame and saccharin, which are a lot more dangerous than sugar.

nesf

children..

simu

The-Rigger wrote:

Only if it's the type with 10 times the oxygen!!

New and improved oxygen, baby! New and improved!
:eek:

Jesus Wept

simu wrote:

New and improved oxygen, baby! New and improved!
:eek:

now with 13% extra 'Oxy' bits and NO ADDED SUGAR

Black Swan

KTRIC wrote:

And what the f*ck does "Thorten" mean ??

Ingredients? Maybe it was full of Billy Bob Thorten? Is she non-fat? Ha!

Pherekydes

nesf wrote:

children..

Now with 50% more fat for the same great price!

Tar.Aldarion

Nesf sounds a bit scared.

I'll say what he meant, shut up, shut up, oh god shut up....like.

Duggy747

Take the Activia challenge!! I believe the shallow housewives on the ads who are so disgusted with their own bodies. Or listening to that ex-English cricket player who never shuts up about how great his heart is because he lives solely on Shredded Wheat! Yeah, but his shìts must be like dark matter!!

Duggy747

Take the Activia challenge!! I believe the shallow housewives on the ads who are so disgusted with their own bodies. Or listening to that ex-English cricket player who never shuts up about how great his heart is because he lives solely on Shredded Wheat!

Like it's a challenge to peel back the foil and eat...

well maybe for the people who believe those ads, simple coordination is a challenge...

Duggy747

It probably is a challenge to all the skinny bitches as their fingers break as they pull back the foil

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

Take the Activia challenge!! I believe the shallow housewives on the ads who are so disgusted with their own bodies. Or listening to that ex-English cricket player who never shuts up about how great his heart is because he lives solely on Shredded Wheat!

Did you notice though he never once states that the stuff is good for ya. He only says that it may keep your heart healthy. My sh!t may cure cancer for all I know but I don't see anyone eating it.

Duggy747

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Did you notice though he never once states that the stuff is good for ya. He only says that it may keep your heart healthy. My sh!t may cure cancer for all I know but I don't see anyone eating it.

Bleeuurgh, it's compressed bird nests. I think the squished birds are the "FREE INSIDE" job. Man, I love Coco Pops and Crunchy Nut but they're ridiculously expensive! €5 for 500g box in Tesco? Pfffft!!!

Saint_Mel

The advert that annoys me most lately is the one for All In One dishwasher tablets!

The ad goes on about how they dont want to give you 7-in-one, or 11-in-one
or even 15-in-one ... thay give All-In-One ... and then they go on to list
the 4 actual things it does!!!!!

Degsy

Or that fckun "head and shoulders" ad..'take TWO bottles into the shower?Not me!Now i can just wash...and go!' As opposed to what?Staying there all day,working out the optimum composition of an anti-dandruff combination?grrr

Slow Motion

HARVY NORMAN ! GO HARVY GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ba$tard ! hate that aussie ba$tard !:mad:

jor el

Degsy wrote:

'take TWO bottles into the shower?Not me!Now i can just wash...and go!'

Aldi shower gel, one bottle washes everything!

I love the Pantene ads though. You've got to admire a company that have somehow invented a Shineometer. How exactly do they measure the shininess of hair, and determine how more shiny it is now compared to before? I don't understand how they can describe hair as multifaceted though. In what way can hair have more aspects than being just hair?

Now if only I could get that patent on the vibrance-ometer I've just invented I could sell it to Pantene, and then I'll be sorted.

Slow Motion

jor el wrote:

Aldi shower gel, one bottle washes everything!

I love the Pantene ads though. You've got to admire a company that have somehow invented a Shineometer. How exactly do they measure the shininess of hair, and determine how more shiny it is now compared to before? I don't understand how they can describe hair as multifaceted though. In what way can hair have more aspects than being just hair?

Now if only I could get that patent on the vibrance-ometer I've just invented I could sell it to Pantene, and then I'll be sorted.

vibrance-ometer = vibrometer ?

I think it's Ann Summers you want

AlmightyCushion

Slow Motion wrote:

vibrance-ometer = vibrometer ?

I think it's Ann Summers you want