What next for Tesco?

r3nu4l

So at the moment Tesco in England are offering the following services:

Groceries
Petrol
Tesco Direct (similar to Amazon)
Tesco Jersey (similar to Play)
Phone & Broadband
Gas & Electricity
Mortgages
Savings
Credit cards
Insurance
Loans
Breakdown Assist
Tesco Mobile (phones)
Tesco Contact lenses
Tesco Diet Club
Tesco Nutri Club
Tesco Travel Club
Tesco Legal Store

As you can see they are involved in a lot but how much further can they go? The only avenues I see left open to them are satellite/cable TV communications services, an Airline service (Tesco Value or Tesco Finest Airlines...which would you use?), Train services or Tesco cars.

I don't see any of these as unfeasible for a corporate giant like Tesco but will they actually delve into these areas?

/I'd love some serious business discussion on this but can't see an appropriate forum so I guess I'll have to settle for whatever I can get from AH answers...

Dub13

Maybe Lap dances,I would like a lap dance while Mrs Dub13 is doing the shopping.

ntlbell

lap dancing clubs.....

At last something usefull to buy with them stupid points.

dub that is scary...we thinks da same.....very worried.

grumpytrousers

that's silly...where would you swipe your loyalty card...

ntlbell

grumpytrousers wrote:

that's silly...where would you swipe your loyalty card...

same place ye test if the pie is warm...

Tar.Aldarion

Tesco computers/hardware.

Dub13

ntlbell wrote:

dub that is scary...we thinks da same.....very worried.

What do they say about great men thinking alike...;)

ntlbell

Dub13 wrote:

What do they say about great men thinking alike...;)

that they only ever think about one thing?

AlmightyCushion

Tesco funerals. I'm telling ya, some day we'll all be burried in a big white box with blue stripes and Tesco Value Coffin wriitten on the top.

John Mason

they could do tesco birth, marriages and deaths - and you would get a discount if you went with all three - actually, i think i might try and pitch that idea to them

gucci

clearly they are going to enter government next.
something like 1 in every 4 pounds spent a day in england is spent in a tesco

r3nu4l

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Tesco computers/hardware.

I can see this happening actually and they are in a better position to do this than any of my other suggestions!

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Tesco funerals.

Maybe! Not sure about the Value coffin but I could see them providing a funeral service. The only thing that would stop them would be public perception of that move as it is a very sensitive area.

Irishbird wrote:

they could do tesco birth, marriages and deaths - and you would get a discount if you went with all three - actually, i think i might try and pitch that idea to them

Tesco weddings? That is a big possibility, a wedding list from Tesco direct followed by cut price dresses (already on sale at ASDA) and honeymoon travel club deals... feasible indeed.

ruprect

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e292/piggott23/tescovalue.jpg

AlmightyCushion

The tesco computers thing could actually work. I remember reading before that they have already started releasing tesco branded software. They already sell those iQon computers. They would probably just slap a tesco sticker on these and leave the building and the support of these to iQon.

source

ruprect wrote:

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e292/piggott23/tescovalue.jpg

WHY WHY WHY did i click on that link????:eek: :eek: :eek:

ROCKMAN

i would' nt mind tesco's having a go at running our health service who know's they may do it better ( I KNOW THAT WOULD NOT BE HARD )

AlmightyCushion

I think they are launching a mobile phone service piggybacking on the o2 network here in Ireland in the summer. A dsl broadband service wouldn't be that hard to do so that could be another service they could offer here with relative ease.

Tar.Aldarion

they should try to go and make agood cheap bb in Ireland.

dulpit

ruprect wrote:

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e292/piggott23/tescovalue.jpg

:mad: My eyes! My eyes! :mad:


On topic, we talked about this in college last year, we decided that between them, Tesco & Google are taking over the world... They should merge and then they could do anything...

Setun

r3nu4l wrote:

/I'd love some serious business discussion on this but can't see an appropriate forum so I guess I'll have to settle for whatever I can get from AH answers...

Dub13 wrote:

Maybe Lap dances,I would like a lap dance while Mrs Dub13 is doing the shopping.

grumpytrousers wrote:

that's silly...where would you swipe your loyalty card...

Dub13

r3nu4l wrote:

/I'd love some serious business discussion on this but can't see an appropriate forum so I guess I'll have to settle for whatever I can get from AH answers...

You should have posted this in the Business Management forum then,leave After Hours to the simple people.We are simple but happy,you cant buy happiness.

Gran Hermano

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Tesco computers/hardware.

They've moved into software already
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/5396488.stm

Tar.Aldarion

It's why I didn't say s/w

Duggy747

You can buy coffins now, beside the toiletries:

Tar.Aldarion

Tesco value star wars
http://www.davidbreslin.f2s.com/silly/for_B3ta_tesco_value_droid.jpg
Tesco value bride
http://mcr.stcatz.ox.ac.uk/pmwiki/uploads/Members.BadTasteEntz05/Tesco%20Value%20Bride.jpg
Tesco brand in the doghouse
http://www.geocities.com/juliemorganmp/tescovalentine.jpg
Tesco brand motivational poster
http://uploads.omega.org.uk/Tesco-Value-Motivational-Poster.png

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

You can buy coffins now, beside the toiletries:

http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/5280/coffinyo9.jpg

No they had to take them off the barcodes wouldn't scan through properly Working hard I see Duggy.

Duggy747

you bet your ass I am, I see you are too?

I heard they were stopping them cuz they were made of cheap paper and the deceased would rip through the bottom of the coffin

AlmightyCushion

Actually they're just the empty box off a fridge with a Tesco sticker slapped on the top.

Duggy747

Why those diabolical.............

Couldn't be worse than the Tesco Value white pudding I bought before, the slices litterly melted into a big gloop in my george foreman AND developed a weird and very sticky layer on top...............so yeah, don't buy their pudding.

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

Why those diabolical.............

That's why I told ya not to bury your mother in that but you didn't listen.

Duggy747 wrote:

...

Couldn't be worse than the Tesco Value white pudding I bought before, the slices litterly melted into a big gloop in my george foreman AND developed a weird and very sticky layer on top...............so yeah, don't buy their pudding.

And remember the ham that's made from a cow

Duggy747

Duuuuurrrrrppp!!!!
Remember those value burgers you told me to get.....all 30 of em'? They looked and smelled like reformed poo..........needless to say I still ate most of em'!

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

Duuuuurrrrrppp!!!!
Remember those value burgers you told me to get.....all 30 of em'? They looked and smelled like reformed poo..........needless to say I still ate most of em'!

I didn't tell you to get them. I simply informed you that there price per burger was alot lower than all other burgers and hence offered better value.......then they turned out to be as you so elegantly refer to as reformed poo so they turned out to be worse value but at least you at them all. i'm surprised you didn't need a tesco value coffin after devouring those bad boys.

Hanley

Anybody else thnik Tesco are pretty much modelling themselves exactly like Wal-Mart in the states?? (perhaps with less of an emphasis on the extreme cost cutting)

r3nu4l

Dub13 wrote:

You should have posted this in the Business Management forum then,leave After Hours to the simple people.We are simple but happy,you cant buy happiness.

It's not really business management material though, judging by other threads in there.

I forgot about Tesco software!!.

Tesco have moved into the the US market, I think that they will position themselves as a step above Wal-Mart (similar to the positioning against Wal-mart owned ASDA in the UK). Probably a similar strategy for growth but I also suspect that they will treat employees a bit better!

Their positioning and strategy in the UK and Ireland is very aggressive and imo they do model themselves in a similar way to Wal-Mart.

aidan_walsh

I would say Tesco Television, but we already have TV3.

Dub13

aidan_walsh wrote:

I would say Tesco Television, but we already have TV3.

LOL....:)

r3nu4l

aidan_walsh wrote:

I would say Tesco Television, but we already have TV3.

ITV-lite tbh

Archeron

Tesco brand religion. Tescoism, or bargainology.

Duggy747

Tesco Value Dance music; Tiesco!!

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

Tesco Value Dance music; Tiesco!!

Ah how did I not think of that. Damn you duggy. Tesco Value college - the Sligo IT

Ruu_Old

Tesco Autos*-collect 30 tokens!:eek:


*some assembly required

I heard about Tesco starting up in the US alright. They will have to be careful trying to compete with Walmart. Sears tried to be smart and go in that direction but got knocked back down. I have noticed a few Aldis as well around but not sure how long they have been here.

aidan_walsh

Tesco Value Nation - Tesco purchase Sealand and run it as their own small country/last stop convenience store.

AlmightyCushion

aidan_walsh wrote:

Tesco Value Nation - Tesco purchase Sealand and run it as their own small country/last stop convenience store.

That's a brilliant idea.

dame

Tesco birthing pools and Tesco Value coffins.

Anima

Tesco Value Dance music; Tiesco!!

Genius, sir

Dave

Are we not already operating on a tesco value public transport system?

Blush_01

If we were would we be paying the price we do? Don't be silly Dave.;)

whassupp2

soon there will be tesco branded money

lemansky

Tattoos and piercings......done while you take out an insurance policy on your newly acquired Tesco value yacht of course

Capt'n Midnight

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Tesco funerals. I'm telling ya, some day we'll all be burried in a big white box with blue stripes and Tesco Value Coffin wriitten on the top.

well in the UK the co-op do them already

http://www.coop.co.uk/

Our full range of Funeral Services,
including funeral bonds, caskets, flowers and headstones plus pet funerals.

http://www.undertakers.uk.com/

And in the UK many tesco's have a singles night - they don't charge for it.

but they make money at the other end http://www.tescolegalstore.com/divorce_and_separation.asp

Do-it-Yourself
Our DIY kits provide all the background information, help guides and blank forms you'll need to handle important legal issues confidently.

Separation & Divorce Kit £14.99

AlmightyCushion

Do-it-Yourself
Our DIY kits provide all the background information, help guides and blank forms you'll need to handle important legal issues confidently.

Separation & Divorce Kit £14.99

Now I've seen everything. Fact is stranger than fiction.