Sexual Harrassment in the Workplace

LegacyUser

Basically there is a guy of a higher position in my job, and he basically finds it hard to keep eye contact with any girl in the office. Those who I've talked to about it feel extremely uncomfortable. If you were to have a five minute conversation with him, you can expect about thirty seconds direct eye contact and the rest will be directed to your chest. He has made one remark that I know of to a fellow worker, something completely inappropriate in front of at least 3 people. He has brushed another girls hand for no reason, he was having a conversation with someone beside her and her hand was on her pc mouse. I feel extremely uncomfortable around him, but he has been in the company a lot longer than I have, and is held in high regard. If I were to go further with this, I dont even know who I would go to about it. Is this sexual harrasment? What should I do?

ELLIEJ

When you see him staring at your chest click your fingers in his line of vision and say 'my eyes are up here' so you can let him know you can see what he is at. I would also tell him he is making you uncomfortable and you are going to start to note any indicents which make you feel like that. Other than that, at this stage, take a written note of each incident.

Its not your problem what he has dont to others and he has done nothing as yet except make you uncomfortable..... Slimeball.

biko

This is harassment. Start noting down incidents as suggested.
If you would go further with this later you will need time, place, what happened etc. And witnesses.

Jack Bauer999

biko wrote:

This is harassment. Start noting down incidents as suggested.
If you would go further with this later you will need time, place, what happened etc. And witnesses.

I'm sorry but this sounds ridiculous to me,
Unless there more info the op is not telling then the facts outlined meannoting.

1) The guy could just be uncomfortable talking to females and look at the ground, Does he actually stare at your chest for 4 mins solid!

2) You haven't said what inappropriate comment was so ill presume it was
something along the lines of "Jasus lisa looks hot today"
If that's the case then im going to be bringing about 5 females in my office
for sexual harassment because of comments made about me.:)
Its called human nature, everybody in the world have made an inappropriate comment In front of their work mates, females included!

3) Could he not have brushed her hand by accident when he was talking
to the other person and not looking what he was doing!! I brush by females every day in work, be it in the corridor, when talking etc so does this make me a harasser also!

Sounds to me like you just don’t like the guy and are trying to find thing's to hang him on.

Unless you have better examples
then you havent a case.

Miss Fluff

Whattodo456 wrote:

Is this sexual harrasment?QUOTE]

No.

biko

A bit more wiki info for you below. If you want you can also contact HR at your company and ask how you should proceed.

Sexual harassment can occur in a variety of circumstances:
* The harasser can be anyone, such as a supervisor, a client, a co-worker, a teacher or professor, a student, a friend, or a stranger.
* The victim does not have to be the person directly harassed but can be anyone who finds the behaviour offensive and is affected by it.
* While adverse effects on the victim are common, this does not have to be the case for the behaviour to be unlawful.
* The victim can be male or female. The harasser can be male or female.
* The harasser does not have to be of the opposite sex.
* The harasser may be completely unaware that his or her behaviour is offensive or constitutes sexual harassment or may be completely unaware that his or her actions could be unlawful.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Nevyn

The Act defines sexual harassment as any form of unwanted verbal, non-verbal or physical contact of a sexual nature.

"Any unwanted conduct" includes spoken words, gestures or the production and display of written words, pictures and other material. This includes offensive gestures or facial expressions, unwelcome and offensive calendars, screen-savers, e-mails and any other offensive material.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/employment/equality-in-work/employment-equality/sexual_harassment_at_work

How to apply

If you wish to make a complaint about sexual harassment, you should begin by making it very clear to the person concerned that you find his or her behaviour, conduct, material, etc., unacceptable and offensive. If you find this uncomfortable or too difficult to do, you should seek support (or for an initial approach to be made on your behalf) by a sympathetic friend or colleague, a designated person at work or a trade union representative. Very often, an informal approach like this will resolve the issue.

Sometimes, an informal approach is not enough to resolve the issue and in situations where the sexual harassment continues, you may need to consider making a formal complaint. Your employer's policy on sexual harassment should clearly set out what will happen when a formal complaint is made, how the complaint will be investigated and who will carry out the investigation, taking into account issues of confidentiality and the rights of both parties.

If you feel that your complaint about sexual harassment has not been dealt with properly by your employer, you can bring your case to the Equality Tribunal.

The Equality Authority has a general remit to promote equality and can give advice and, in some cases, legal assistance if you wish to bring a claim of sexual harassment.

Complaints under the Employment Equality Act must be brought within 6 months of the last act of harassment. This time limit can be increased to 12 months if 'reasonable cause' for the delay can be shown.

Boston

So you complain and then you will be asked what he has done to you, to which you'll reply saying you don't like the way he looks at you. Then you'll be asked if you've mentioned to him that you didn't like the way he looked at you. There is no point in talking about what other has happened to other girls, you cannot make a complaint like this by proxy. If you mention the other girls you have to be sure they will back you, from the sounds of things they won't.

Ishindar

looking at your facts its a rediculous accusation. what stands out here is instead of contributing in a posative way to the atmosphre in your office u are looking to create problems and a negative atmosphere. i recommend u think about what u contribute in social situations

sam34

Totally OTT in my opinion

dodgyme

I cant really see what he has done yet to you. He is either a bit of a slime, and if so he wouldnt be held in high regard as you suggest he is or he is socially inept and really doing nothing wrong. I think best thing to do is ask a male colleague (an objective one) whats your mans story so to say (he will have the inside track). They will know if he is a real slime or not. My missus often asks me about male behaviour (she works in a male office) and I tell her when she has a point and when she needs to relax the cats. In often cases she will call the situation wrongly in my opinion whilst in others she would think something as irrelevant and I would tell her the opposite. Without having an example onhand, i think fellas reading will know what I mean.

Drift

I think dodgyme is exactly right. It could very well be social ineptness or extreme shyness but there is a small possibility it is sexual harrassment. Do you have any male colleagues who you can ask about him? Like dodgy says guys who know him even moderately well will probably be able to tell you straight off whether its just plain awkwardness or if its more.

6th

Boston wrote:

So you complain and then you will be asked what he has done to you, to which you'll reply saying you don't like the way he looks at you. Then you'll be asked if you've mentioned to him that you didn't like the way he looked at you. There is no point in talking about what other has happened to other girls, you cannot make a complaint like this by proxy. If you mention the other girls you have to be sure they will back you, from the sounds of things they won't.

Damn, I agree with Boston .... <goes to check if the sky is falling>

marie_85

It doesn't sound like sexual harassment based on what you describe. A guy I used to work with was the same, he'd tend to stare at your chest when talking to you. I was a bit uncomfortable until someone pointed out to me that he did the same to everyone, including the guys. It was simply a bit of a nervous habit, the way some people tend to stare over your shoulder or at your chin when they're talking to you. Because really, it is very difficult to have a five minute conversation with someone and maintain direct eye contact the whole time.

dudara

We can't answer your question for you, simply because we don't know enough. What you described could be sexual harassment, or it could as easily be nervousness on this individual's part.

Read all the links that we've provided, and think over it some more.

LegacyUser

OTT bull****...from info at hand...absolute bull****.

LegacyUser

One thing that has always struck me about Women in a given workplace and what they considered a "Slimeball" was the relative attractiveness of the Man - if he was unappealing in appearance he was harassing them, if he was handsome he was flirting with them. Even if the behavior was the exact same the response varied depending on the appearance. I'm no talking about overt sexual harassment here -just the low level "he's a slimeball" or "he's really nice" commentary from the Women - amazing how people perceive the other persons actions based on looks.
I remember a critique on one of the Womens magazines (cosmo I think) where an article on getting a Man in your workplace suggesting bending down on front of him in a tight skirt. No mention made of what happens if a different man sees this and comments on it etc. I think there can be a serious double standard here.
I agree with the general consensus here though, at worst a sad individual with issues. SH is a very very serious accusation and should only be wheeled out when absolutely necessary, otherwise it damages the process.

milod

It seems that apart from hearsay, the only thing you're hanging the entire case on is that you suspect he might be looking at your chest. So are you sure? or is it a case of shyness/inability to maintain eye contact?

Do you wear clothing that reveals cleavage etc? Most, if not all, guys will look at a woman's breasts, especially if there's an open blouse/low cut top etc, but some aren't good at doing it unnoticed (including me!), so I play it safe and keep eyes above chin level...

And before everyone showers me with indignant responses, I'm simply stating a fact, not justifying it or condoning it.

IMO you'd need something more to build a case here and as Boston says you definitely can't take offence by proxy - your colleagues must join with you in making a complaint. You also need to take a look at the context of his alleged inappropriate remark - did you witness it? what was the background? is there a level of banter already in existence?

I have working relationships with many females - in some cases I wouldn't even dare make favourable comments on a new hairdo. With others there's an existing two-way banter where they'll feel comfortable enough to tell me my jeans show off my package very well etc.

It's a complex situation that is often very context sensitive, so if I were you I would be very careful in how you approach this when discussing it with colleagues - if the guy is held in high regard, you may end up being singled out as the aggressor with him as an innocent victim of slander.

If you feel you have enough of a case to proceed, make sure you stick to the facts (and the guidelines as outlined by Thaedydal). What ever you do, don't openly discuss the case with colleagues as this would quite rightly give the subject cause to counter claim harrassment of different sort.

Tha Gopher

Jack Bauer999 wrote:

2) You haven't said what inappropriate comment was so ill presume it was
something along the lines of "Jasus lisa looks hot today"
If that's the case then im going to be bringing about 5 females in my office
for sexual harassment because of comments made about me.:)
Its called human nature, everybody in the world have made an inappropriate comment In front of their work mates, females included!

You just wanted to boast didnt ya I agree, this is a feckin over reaction I think. He takes a glance or two at some chests? HES A DUDE. Looking at chest and arse is as non-thinking and automated as breathing and blinking. Women like a glance at lds too, they just dont make it as obvious as we do some times. If I tell a colleague I fancy that I like what she has done with her hair, is that complimentary or harassing? When me and a colleague I fancy the arse off were having a jokey argument re the temperature (I wanted the air con on, she didnt, she hates it) she said I should take my clothes off if it bothered me that much. Do I have a case for a tribunal?

In fact, maybe Ill make a deal with her. Ask her to make sexualised comments to me infront of others every 10 minutes until I "crack". When I get my 100K tribunal payout for emotional damage Ill give her half of it, everyones a winner

Nevyn

OK this is a pretty sensative topic and sexual harrasshment cases are about the impact on the reciving end in the workplace.

If I was dealing with a working with someone and out of a 5 mins 'face to face' meeting or interaction s/he spent 4 mins 30 secons looking at my bust I would be not happy about it and would call them on it as it is dismissive and in a work place demeaning as they are not showing the interaction the the person any respect or professional courtesy.

If my work atire was inapporpiate or distracting I would expect my manager or hr to let me know what was and was not acceptible not to be oggled.

Now I would be the type of person to call them on it right away to thier face and direct thier eyes up wards and tolerate such behaviour even in someone who was above me in the chain of command and if it peristed push it up the chain of command and talk about it with my manager.

Such things can be handled sometimes with out a conforntation,
ie an updating email about the companies policy on appropiate behaviour in the work place, or a workshop or refreshed on the topic.

The thing is the policy and the proceedure and indeed the law are there to protect everyone and that include those who feel too intimidated to say
'Oi , eyes up here the info is not printed on my tits/crotch/ass.' esp as it is something which should not be needed in a work enviroment.

neon_glows

****e im really worried now, im wondering do i do this myself without knowing, iv had to ask 3 friends if i do, lol, luckily they all say i dont do that though, phew!

dame

I haven't read all the replies but it seems to me that you've blown this out of proportion. Firstly, he may just be shy so eye contact is hard for him. Or, maybe you are difficult to deal with and intimidate him a bit, so again eye contact may be difficult for him.

Have you actually seen this "hand brushing" incident or is it just idle office gossip? Cos if you're about to go complaining over a bit of gossip there's a good chance you'll end up looking very silly.

Did you ever consider that maybe your style of dressing is inappropriate for the work place? Perhaps the manager is afraid to tell you or all of the women to wear smarter or less revealing outfits, but is afraid to in case it comes across as discrimation or harassment.

Have you tried telling this man to talk to your face not your chest? He might not even realise he is doing it or that it makes you uncomfortable.

If there's more to this then you might want to talk to HR and start taking notes of the details of whatever happens, but for now it seems like you might be reading too much into this.

King of Kings

Bob424 wrote:

One thing that has always struck me about Women in a given workplace and what they considered a "Slimeball" was the relative attractiveness of the Man - if he was unappealing in appearance he was harassing them, if he was handsome he was flirting with them. Even if the behavior was the exact same the response varied depending on the appearance.

i work in a big organisation with a variety of slimeballs and it's amazing how to ugly, overweight ones are "creepy" but the hot ones are tolerated and even encouraged.


back to the OP. I think if you have an issue with the guy that's bothering you that much you should bring it to his attention rather than making a official complaint. I'll save you all a ton of grief.
My own opinion is that you are over reacting . He probably doesn't mean to offend you at all.
various posters have supplied possible reasons for his behaviouir. I have been in his position a few times and tbh it was kinda subconscious - i didn't realise i was doing it a the time.

luckat

He's obviously got himself a reputation for treating women as eye candy.

One woman can't deal with this. If you find it too unpleasant to put up with it, perhaps you might get together all the women in the office, and go to talk to him - not in any way jokingly; not in any way bullyingly; not in any way angrily. Just be professional, and be brief.

Tell the guy that you're professionals working together, and you don't appreciate his staring at your breasts and his inappropriate touching.

He'll deny it and bluster; don't argue, just say "Thank you for your courtesy about this, it's good to have the problem solved - we wanted to talk to you rather than going to [his boss]," and leave.

This should solve it, if he has any sense.

The only worry is that if some women feel more strongly than others about this, the ones who don't feel strongly may be afraid to do this for fear it will hurt their careers. And the ones who feel *very* strongly may not be able to contain their anger.

You don't want to turn it into a row; you want to keep it quiet and professional.

LegacyUser

Tha Gopher wrote:

When me and a colleague I fancy the arse off were having a jokey argument re the temperature (I wanted the air con on, she didnt, she hates it) she said I should take my clothes off if it bothered me that much. Do I have a case for a tribunal?

What you may consider a jokey argument, someone else wouldn't.
In that instance you wouldnt take offence. However, if you did take offence and said so it would be a first instance... it is an affront to dignity.
If it happened again then you would have recourse to the HR policies. Not a tribunal.
http://www.finance.irlgov.ie/documents/equality/APWENov05.pdf

Your employer MUST have policies in place and adhere to them. They are liable otherwise.

It has happened where someone has been offered a piece of fruit, they have said no. It was offered again and it was subsequently used as evidence of harrassment.

Similarly you do not have to be addressing the person directly, you could be talking to someone else, what you said is overheard and then taklen offence to it can be used.
Further, if out on a saturday and you come across someone you work with in the pub and say something, then if they take offense you will face it in work on monday as it is how you are going to make them feel in the workplace which will be the issue.

As for eye contact, too much is staring and an offence.

As for tribunal..no, retraining and mediation the first step.

Bottom line: Go in do your work, do not engage in anything that may subsequently be deemed as dodgy.
Go home.

Boston

luckat wrote:

He's obviously got himself a reputation for treating women as eye candy.

One woman can't deal with this. If you find it too unpleasant to put up with it, perhaps you might get together all the women in the office, and go to talk to him - not in any way jokingly; not in any way bullyingly; not in any way angrily. Just be professional, and be brief.

All the women in the office go to this guy, how is that not bullying and agressive. You know there is a question here of how these women react to other male attention of a similiar nature. If no ones told him that it's inappropriate for him to be doing this, and other guys do it, then it is hugely unfair to single him out.

layke

You'd have to think of the repercussions of your actions as well. If one of the girls in work filed a harassment suite against one of the guys in here I would seriously have problems working/speaking with that person in fear that they'll sting me up next.

Nevyn

You should not have layke if your conduct in the work place is proper.

Evil Phil

Thaedydal wrote:

You should not have layke if your conduct in the work place is proper.

True. I work in a lot of offices as I'm freelance, the majority of guys I've worked with would fully support a female collegue in this situation.

pickarooney

As for eye contact, too much is staring and an offence.

What are the exact legal minimum and maximum percentages for visual contact with eyes, other body parts and the floor/ceiling? Just so I know where I stand.

Marksie

pickarooney wrote:

What are the exact legal minimum and maximum percentages for visual contact with eyes, other body parts and the floor/ceiling? Just so I know where I stand.

The only one i have heard of as company policy is the 7 second rule.

up to 7 seconds is ok, over and its staring.


it is such a difficult one though as i dont think there are set legal limits.


As Hrpolicy said though, your company MUST legally have policies in place, they must also have made sure you have read them and made them proactive.

If they do not they are liable. Though to be honest HR are perhaps the worst people to be doing HR. They haven't got a clue in the most part

Jumpy

luckat wrote:

He's obviously got himself a reputation for treating women as eye candy.

One woman can't deal with this. If you find it too unpleasant to put up with it, perhaps you might get together all the women in the office, and go to talk to him - not in any way jokingly; not in any way bullyingly; not in any way angrily. Just be professional, and be brief.

Tell the guy that you're professionals working together, and you don't appreciate his staring at your breasts and his inappropriate touching.

He'll deny it and bluster; don't argue, just say "Thank you for your courtesy about this, it's good to have the problem solved - we wanted to talk to you rather than going to [his boss]," and leave.

This should solve it, if he has any sense.

The only worry is that if some women feel more strongly than others about this, the ones who don't feel strongly may be afraid to do this for fear it will hurt their careers. And the ones who feel *very* strongly may not be able to contain their anger.

You don't want to turn it into a row; you want to keep it quiet and professional.

That is far more harassment than him inappropriately staring.

By the way... unless it is serious misconduct, taking a harassment case against someone is a serious CLM.

Marksie

Jumpy wrote:

By the way... unless it is serious misconduct, taking a harassment case against someone is a serious CLM.

Usually its informal first, unless the HR are completely incompetent.

Jumpy

Still goes on record no?

Marksie

Jumpy wrote:

Still goes on record no?

Check with your works policy. But the idea of informal resolution is just that.

estar

thats not really sexual harassment - it sounds like someone who
doesnt like making eye contact

lots of people make inappropriate comments - if it was just a once off
let it go

as for the mouse thing - i often had to guide peoples mice in work
when showing them things - i would always warn them in advance or
ask them

this man has a lack of manners

sexual harassment is using your job to get sexual favours,
discriminating against people because of gender or sexual orientation
or actively making repeated comments of a sexual nature against someone

you would be a very foolish person to bring this matter up without
a very complete log dating over a year -

the workplace is full of individuals and personalities and
to be honest unless this person becomes much more obvious there
is nothing you can do for now.

learn how to deal with odd people is my opinion and be careful that you
are not victimising someone based on gossip or an overactive imagination

apologies if that last statement was harsh.......

Moss

Way OTT to be talking about sexual harassment. The guy may just be shy, or may not realise what he is doing. Could you not just say, without being too confrontational, 'do you mind not staring?'. Only if someone kept this behaviour up after being told its a problem could it be called sexual harassment. Creating a big issue out of nothing, IMO.

Ishindar wrote:

looking at your facts its a rediculous accusation. what stands out here is instead of contributing in a positive way to the atmosphere in your office you are looking to create problems and a negative atmosphere. I recommend youu think about what you contribute in social situations

Well said, I agree

r3nu4l

My cousin has Aspergers syndrome, as a result he finds it extremely difficult to make eye contact with anyone. Most of his time talking to people is spent talking at their cehst areas, despite years of coaching by behavioural psychologists.

Aspergers sufferers also have a habit of making inappropriate comments without realising why they are inappropriate.

When my cousin found out my friend was German he proceeded to describe Nazi experiments on Jews in WWII. To him this was not insensitive and certainly on-topic as the girl was German and he was talking about German history. He was incapable of interpreting the expression on her face as one of revulsion and disbelief. The only expressions he fully understands are 'happy smile' and 'crying face'.

Some Aspergers sufferers disike or are uncomfortable with physical contact, others do not understand the concept of personal space and have no problem holding your hand to guide it when you are holding a mouse.

Aspergers sufferers tend to be highly intelligent and many are very high-ranking in their companies but are known as 'not a people person'.

Everything the original poster has described could easily be put down to Aspergers as well as sexual harassment. In fact the thread title could easily be changed to "Aspergers in the workplace".

I'm not saying this guy has Aspergers but it is obvious that there is not yet enough to go on to claim sexual harrassment.

Marksie

r3nu4l wrote:

go on to claim sexual harrassment.

Here is the irish LEGAL definition.

HARASSMENT, SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND BULLYING

1. What are harassment, sexual harassment and bullying

1.1 This section defines harassment, sexual harassment and bullying. Bullying is a term used to describe certain forms of unacceptable behaviour in the workplace. Harassment and sexual harassment are defined in the Employment Equality Act, 1998 and carry certain legal consequences.

Bullying
1.2 Bullying can be defined as offensive, abusive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, or abuse of power conducted by an individual or group against others, which makes the recipient feel upset, threatened, humiliated or vulnerable, which undermines their self-confidence and which may cause them to suffer stress. Bullying is behaviour which is generally persistent, systematic and ongoing.

Harassment
1.3 Section 32 of the Employment Equality Act, 1998 defines harassment. Harassment is defined as any act or conduct including:-

spoken words

gestures

the production, display or circulation of written words, pictures or other material

which is unwelcome and could reasonably be regarded as offensive, humiliating or intimidating. The Employment Equality Act, 1998 prohibits harassment by reference to particular characteristics flowing from difference in relation to marital status, family status, sexual orientation, religion, age, disability, race or membership of the Traveller community. Harassment may be by a client, customer or business contact of an employer in addition to other staff members. It also provides that different treatment of a person in the workplace or in the course of employment, because of harassment constitutes discrimination.


Sexual Harassment
1.4 Section 23 of the Employment Equality Act, 1998 defines sexual harassment for the first time in Irish law. Sexual harassment is defined as including all unwelcome and sexually, or otherwise on gender ground, offensive, humiliating or intimidating actions involving acts of physical intimacy, spoken words, gestures, or the production, display or circulation of written material or pictures, or requests for sexual favours. Sexual harassment may be by a client, customer or business contact of an employer in addition to other staff members. The Employment Equality Act also provides that different treatment of a person in the workplace or in the course of employment, because of sexual harassment, whether in the workplace, in the course of employment or outside the workplace, constitutes discrimination on the gender ground.



What you must understand is this.

It does not matter what YOU think constitutes the above.

If the person BRINGING the allegation feels like the above. Then it is considered to be so.

It is quite possible that the above is occurring, and the person doing it DOES NOT REALISE they are doing it.

Interstingly, if i had written this mail all in capital letters. It would be considered shouting and therefore bullying.

So all those saying IMO it isn't waht they consider etc etc., i have some bad news... it is the person who is feeling that way not you who detremine whether it is or not

r3nu4l: in your cousins case it is a tricky one to call as there is a specific disability.
BUT an employer will have to do something. If they are aware of a situation and ignore it, they are open to bein sued... big time. (can't you jus tell i am doing employment law at the moment lol)

Tha Gopher

hrpolicy wrote:

What you may consider a jokey argument, someone else wouldn't..........Bottom line: Go in do your work, do not engage in anything that may subsequently be deemed as dodgy.
Go home.

What exactly gets you through your day in work? Hanging in a male only group where you dont discuss the physically/facially attractive things of any female co worker or celebrity?

I suppose theres always the football. And nothing else really.

seahorse

I got halfway through this thread and was just too disgusted to read any further. It's revolting to me, the amount of people who feel it is acceptable that a man should stare straight at a womans breasts for four and a half minutes out of five. What the hell are you people talking about?????

OP, if I were you I'd tell this person directly that my eyes were the two circular appendages on my face, not my chest. No, I dont think he's gone far enough for a SH charge; but I'd make it my business to let him know it wouldnt be in his interests to ever take things any further in that direction.

Boston

seahorse wrote:

I got halfway through this thread and was just too disgusted to read any further. It's revolting to me, the amount of people who feel it is acceptable that a man should stare straight at a womans breasts for four and a half minutes out of five. What the hell are you people talking about?????

Meh, low cut reveiling tops are designed to draw attention. A couple months ago I was looking through this calender some gamers had put together of female gamers dressed up in fairious styles, I must have spent a solid half hour lookign though it, out of a combination of trying to figure out which ones i recognised and the fact the conversation was boring. The females in the room constantly passed comments about how long i was looking at the semi clad females, one even went as far to inform me "their not pieces of meat". getting bent out of shape over how someone looks at you is the revolting part.

seahorse

Boston wrote:

Meh, low cut reveiling tops are designed to draw attention. A couple months ago I was looking through this calender some gamers had put together of female gamers dressed up in fairious styles, I must have spent a solid half hour lookign though it, out of a combination of trying to figure out which ones i recognised and the fact the conversation was boring. The females in the room constantly passed comments about how long i was looking at the semi clad females, one even went as far to inform me "their not pieces of meat". getting bent out of shape over how someone looks at you is the revolting part.

Where on this thread does the OP say she was wearing a "low cut revealing top"??? When a woman goes out the door to work in the morning she neither wants, needs, nor deserves that disrespectful ****. If a man was gawking at my breasts like that he'd be lucky to get past 4.5 seconds before he felt my knee in his balls.

Boston

seahorse wrote:

Where on this thread does the OP say she was wearing a "low cut revealing top"??? When a woman goes out the door to work in the morning she neither wants, needs, nor deserves that disrespectful ****. If a man was gawking at my breasts like that he'd be lucky to get past 4.5 seconds before he felt my knee in his balls.

You talk about respect but promote violence. It's not ok to "gawk" at someone ,but it's ok to attack them. Cop yourself on. Point I was making which you clearly missed, is that sometimes the attention is just what is desired.

seahorse

Boston wrote:

Point I was making which you clearly missed, is that sometimes the attention is just what is desired.

I didn’t miss your point Boston; I ignored it because it is irrelevant in the context of this thread. What we’re talking about here is unwanted sexual attention in the workplace.

When a women goes to work she is desirous of one thing only, and that is making a living. Sexual attention is only part of that package if she happens to be making that living in a brothel or a strip-club.

Boston

seahorse wrote:

I didn’t miss your point Boston; I ignored it because it is irrelevant in the context of this thread. What we’re talking about here is unwanted sexual attention in the workplace.

First off you said "It's revolting to me, the amount of people who feel it is acceptable that a man should stare straight at a womans breasts for four and a half minutes out of five."

Sometimes it's the desired affect.

When a women goes to work she is desirous of one thing only, and that is making a living. Sexual attention is only part of that package if she happens to be making that living in a brothel or a strip-club.

I see, so a women who likes a little sexual attention is a whore now, selling her body? Cop on would yea. Some women get a kick out of being an object of desire, some don't. Some make use of any asset they have for advancement. I think someone is craving a little sexual attention of her own... :rolleyes:

davyjose

seahorse wrote:

I got halfway through this thread and was just too disgusted to read any further. It's revolting to me, the amount of people who feel it is acceptable that a man should stare straight at a womans breasts for four and a half minutes out of five. What the hell are you people talking about?????

I don't think it's acceptable, but Jesus, it's hardly indecent proposal is it? I think it's a sadder state of affairs that someone would find it easier, and more appropriate to report someone for sexual harrassment than say "Oi, don't look at my tits."

seahorse

davyjose wrote:

I don't think it's acceptable, but Jesus, it's hardly indecent proposal is it? I think it's a sadder state of affairs that someone would find it easier, and more appropriate to report someone for sexual harrassment than say "Oi, don't look at my tits."

I agree with you compleatly Davyjose; in a situation like this the OP should feel able to say: "take your eyes off my effin tits" - end of story.

seahorse

Boston wrote:

First off you said "It's revolting to me, the amount of people who feel it is acceptable that a man should stare straight at a womans breasts for four and a half minutes out of five."

Sometimes it's the desired affect.

I see. So some random male staring at your wife/mother/sister/daughers breasts for exactly 90% of the time he spoke to her would be fine by you. Would it really?? And if so, what the f**k is wrong with you???

Please remember this thread is in relation to a regular WORKING ENVIRONMENT. In THAT PARTICULAR ENVIRONMENT NO - IT'S NOT. In some other working environements yes; sometimes it is what's expected - in a stripclub or whorehouse.

Boston wrote:

..so a women who likes a little sexual attention is a whore now, selling her body? Cop on would yea. Some women get a kick out of being an object of desire, some don't.

There is a world of difference between a women receiving sexual attention in a pub or nightclub as opposed to an office working environment. If you do not understand that difference I can only hope you are a pubescent boy - indulging inappropriate sexual fantasies.

Boston wrote:

Some make use of any asset they have for advancement.

Really? And what terminology would you use to describe a women in an office environment who "made use of any asset she had for advancement"?

Boston wrote:

I think someone is craving a little sexual attention of her own... :rolleyes:

These are exactly the sort of comments that make working women on the receiving end of verbal sexual abuse sick to their stomachs. It's no surprise to see the camp to which you've made it clear you belong.

Boston

seahorse wrote:

I see. So some random male staring at your wife/mother/sister/daughers breasts for exactly 90% of the time he spoke to her would be fine by you. Would it really?? And if so, what the f**k is wrong with you???

Nah, I'd kick his head in, cause I'm a man I am, and I let violence do my talking... :rolleyes:

Please remember this thread is in relation to a regular WORKING ENVIRONMENT. In THAT PARTICULAR ENVIRONMENT NO - IT'S NOT. In some other working environements yes; sometimes it is what's expected - in a stripclub or whorehouse.

Ah so you're one of those women that calls other women whores, enough said.

There is a world of difference between a women receiving sexual attention in a pub or nightclub as opposed to an office working environment. If you do not understand that difference I can only hope you are a pubescent boy - indulging inappropriate sexual fantasies.

I've seen women using the sexual attention of males to their advantage in many situations, both social and professional. Tends to make the women extremely jealous and the men easier to work with.

Really? And what terminology would you use to describe a women in an office environment who "made use of any asset she had for advancement"?

Well I certainly wouldn't call her a whore for starters. Life can be a cut troat game. If its ok to benifit from being a woman in certain situations (Interships/Grants/other stuff solely for women) then why is it wrong to benift from having a cracking per of tits.

These are exactly the sort of comments that make working women on the receiving end of verbal sexual abuse sick to their stomachs. It's no surprise to see the camp to which you've made it clear you belong.

You don't know **** about me love.