Microsoft Airsoft Guns Vs Linux Airsoft Guns

CrazyRabbit

I was bored, so made this up during the morning. I really need to start doing some actual work here!

If Microsoft made Airsoft guns.

• Each gun would be advertised for 3 years as the greatest thing since sliced bread. When you got it, it would fire at 0.1 joules.
• It would only be compatible with 7mm bb's made by Microsoft.
• Every so often it would beep and give you a verbal error saying "Target not found. Press trigger to continue"
• The Large 8.4v 3800mAH battery would last 10 mins before being fully drained.
• The gun would always remain the property of Microsoft. You would merely be buying a license to use it.
• The average price of their guns would be €2000 for the standard version, €2500 for the 'Pro' version that has a hop-up, and €3000 for the corporate version, with the extra €500 cost due to the extra printing cost in using the word 'corporate' on the packaging.
• When the gun breaks, you can ring their tech support for €39.99 per min and they will tell you to disconnect/reconnect the battery.
• Before using the gun, you would have to register it with Microsoft, otherwise it will stop working after 3 months.
• If you add more than 3 upgrades, you would need to buy a 2nd licence since technically it is now a new gun according to Microsoft.
• Every 10 mins instead of shooting bb's, a rolled up advertisement would shoot pop-up out of the barrel on a piece of paper.
• When Microsoft create a new version of an airsoft gun, they will release a 'patch' for your current gun. A day later, your current gun will begin to fail at random for no reason. Time for an upgrade...
• The manual that came with your gun would be technically accurate but completely useless.
• 3rd party hardware upgrades/addons would never work perfectly since they were created using only partial reference schematics of the gun provided by Microsoft.
• When you take the gun into your hands, you have to wait 3 mins before you can use it.
• A game of solitaire would be included free-of-charge so you have something to do when the gun is not working properly.
• When you buy the gun, you only actually get the gearbox & motor. The stock, barrel, receiver, trigger, handgrips and sights would be 3rd party addons that you buy separately.
• You could only fire 1 bb at a time since the gun can't load & fire at the same time.
• Every time you stop using the gun for 3 mins or more, a star field screensaver would appear in the scope sights, and you would have to enter a password to get rid of it.
• The gun would come with a free firewall net that lets every bb fired at you hit, yet stops half your shots from reaching the enemy.
• The gun come with a choice of paintjobs, with the following designs available: Flowers, iceberg, crystals, stonehenge & the Microsoft logo design.
• Every few days the enemy will gain complete control of your gun using a virus and use it to shoot your entire team.
• Accepting bb's from another player will infect your gun with a trojan.
• You would have to return the gun to Microsoft every 5 days for preventative maintenance using the Airsoft Update Service.
• The gun would keep a record of everyone you fired it at. The police can then use this information against you at a later date to prove that one illegal thing that you accidentally did 5 years ago.
• A new model would only be released every 5-6 years.
• Microsoft would buy all the other airsoft manufacturers they could, and sue the rest.
• Each gun would come with keys for Ctrl, Alt, & Delete ( thanks to CroppyBoy1798 for this one)


If the Linux community made Airsoft Guns.

• There would be 500 versions of each model, but basically they are all the same.
• They would come with no manuals, and it would take months to figure out how to use all the controls.
• Only 1% of airsofters would buy their guns.
• Only nerds would actually be able to use their guns.
• The guns would be free...sort of, well most of them anyway.
• The guns would not work with standard bb's, especially the ones made by Microsoft.
• The guns would not have a hopup since it's patented by Microsoft and they don't like competition.
• Their guns would have tons of really cool features that you don't actually use, or are impractical to use.
• The guns would fire 2 bb's for every 1 bb that you loaded as they are very efficient.
• The gun would be able to fire 20 bb's per sec, reload, and make you a cup of coffee at the same time.
• Each gun would belong to everyone.
• You could add attachments that made it look and function like a Microsoft gun about 75% of the time.
• Every gun would have a penguin shaped trademark logo on it.
• You could find 100's of really cool, but expensive attachments only to find that none are compatible with your gun.
• Then you find that there are 1000's of better attachments available for free that are compatible.
• They would have made most of the really big powerful guns.
• The gun would arrive in parts, and you'd have to figure out how to put it together on your own.
• Tech support consists of asking that nerdy looking guy in the corner if he knows how to fix the problem.

kdouglas

nice man, i like it

Every gun would have a penguin shaped trademark logo on it.

gonna go look for one of these now

padmundo

Nerd!

CrazyRabbit

padmundo wrote:

Nerd!

So my t-shirt says.

Fallschirmjager

hahahaha..actually i like it...

i particularly like
A game of solitaire would be included free-of-charge so you have something to do when the gun is not working properly

and the linux one

The gun would arrive in parts, and you'd have to figure out how to put it together on your own.

liamo333

Do you have to plug it into a socket like a PC or would it be like a laptop? This question is for both for both guns.

CrazyRabbit

liamo333 wrote:

Do you have to plug it into a socket like a PC or would it be like a laptop? This question is for both for both guns.

Microsoft:
Only when you want to target someone.

Linux:
Only when you want to adapt the gun to shoot multiple people at once.

o1s1n

...so I take it you're a Linux user then?

ED E

Seems like he dont like either...theres always mac...Not!

kdouglas

if your airsoft was a mac:

come with a free iMag, iBattery, iCharger and supply of iBB's

be based on linux with loads of pretty looking bits added on

only ever be used by people who like to draw pictures in targets by shooting at them

be much more expensive than both linux and microsoft airsofts

and if it broke you'd be completely f*cked



i'll get my coat....

o1s1n

kdouglas wrote:

if your airsoft was a mac:

It may look like this;



*Also gets his coat...*

CrazyRabbit

Currently running Win XP & Kororaa (Gentoo Linux variation) with super snazzy XGL 'desktop' (3d cube desktop)

They all have their strenghts and weaknesses.

Irish Trinity

microsoft are by far the best and mac christ they are the worst most of the pro grammes you need dont work!

kdouglas

ah yes, the inevitable operating system debate

In My Opinion:

macs are good, they work pretty well out of the box and they look pretty, my brother uses one for design, and for this they are very good, but most of the programmes you would really benefit from on a mac are in the €2000+ price range

windows has it's advantages, 99% of games run on windows, so if your a gamer, all good. however they are notoriously bad for viruses and spyware, require constant updating and crash regularly enough
(i've also yet to come across a windows machine which you can actually use to it's full extent less than 5 seconds after you login, normally go and make a cup of tea while im waiting)

linux: once thought to be the realm of only uber-leet geeks, it's much more user friendly these days and has had many features similar to, if not better than, vista for quite a while now. plus you have the added benefit of stability, no virusus or malware and 99% of the time it just works. oh and there is the fact that it is free (mostly) and is supported by an incredibly community of people who are infinitely more helpful than any tech support line


anyway, all this is rather off-topic (wasnt gonna bother posting it, but i've typed it now)

i'm off to repair my aeg, it keeps blue-screening on me

SpitfireIV

If Microsoft made airsoft guns:

ED E

Brilliant!:D

But wheres their windows Trademark?


Anyway, about OS's.

Nver used Linux so dunno about that. Macs Dont have any support for programs ect and software is much more exspensive(I think!)

The Trick with windos is being Carefull.
1. Dont use Windows Update. Causes major conflicts between new and old..blah blah blah Its useless.
2. On Personal(ie. not a on a buisness/school network) Try and use 1 user, 2 at most. The more you add the slower it goes. Email clients can be given paswords and I'm sure there are programs for securing folders.
3. Delete unused and keep about a Gig free at least. Also de-frag and clean up every few months. Also, dont let cookies/temporary files build Up.

Then it runs grand

o1s1n

Lethal_Bullet wrote:

Brilliant!:D


The Trick with windos is being Carefull.
1. Dont use Windows Update. Causes major conflicts between new and old..blah blah blah Its useless.
2. On Personal(ie. not a on a buisness/school network) Try and use 1 user, 2 at most. The more you add the slower it goes. Email clients can be given paswords and I'm sure there are programs for securing folders.
3. Delete unused and keep about a Gig free at least. Also de-frag and clean up every few months. Also, dont let cookies/temporary files build Up.

Then it runs grand

Not to mention disabling all possible startup programs and windows services which you can.
Disabling the XP theme and all those other stupid animations and bloat the system does need at all.
Get rid of Norton totally and replace it with some free, less system hogging software that does the exact same things.

Etc etc. I could go on but this isn't an IT forum now, is it?

ED E

No, it isnt...

But anyway...funny enough for the last few months we've een running with no Anti-Virus!:eek: My dad decided to uninstall and reinstall it but nver got round to reinstalling it! No probs though(So far), but mabey my dads machine is monitoring the modem, thus the network (got 4 Pcs plus Wii(Currently not working online) and a laptop on the Wi-fi.)

o1s1n

Lethal_Bullet wrote:

No, it isnt...

But anyway...funny enough for the last few months we've een running with no Anti-Virus!:eek: My dad decided to uninstall and reinstall it but nver got round to reinstalling it! No probs though(So far), but mabey my dads machine is monitoring the modem, thus the network (got 4 Pcs plus Wii(Currently not working online) and a laptop on the Wi-fi.)

Your dads PC is quite possibly keeping a lot out with firewalls etc, but viruses and all those other nasties can get onto your own one in many ways. Things you download etc. There are quite a few good free anti virus suites out there. Downloading and installing one should be high on your priority list. I'm giving AVG a go at the moment. Seems to be working well.

Anyway, back on topic. Comparing airsoft to..er..IT products.

CrazyRabbit

CroppyBoy1798 wrote:

If Microsoft made airsoft guns:

That sir is just brilliant. Gonna edit my OP to add that (will give you credit!)

kdouglas

Harekin

AVG is beautiful. Iv been running the Free Edition for about 3 years now and havnt been infected once.

I mean free daily updates...how could you possibly say no?!

Mark_Sc

you have too much time on your hands

Irish Trinity

DONT GET MCAFEE it is the biggest load of crap all it does is screw up and use firefox fastes internet browser around, and yes i do knwo a hell of alot about computers and if your all wondering where i got the information about airsoft guns...... i play counter strike:rolleyes:

Mark_Sc

So you only did thisto makeus all get linux.... where do i start:)

Mark_Sc

Irish Trinity wrote:

i play counter strike:rolleyes:

have you used this:
http://www.counter-strike-dl.com

I found this to make the game better, a new skin each time;)

Irish Trinity

ah a fellow striker, only prob is i'm not sure which file you put the skins in

Mark_Sc

I may be a little rusty but asuming you diddnt save it into a different path to the one you specified go to C:/Program files/steam/steam apps/YOUR USER NAME/counter-strike source/cstrike and then just unzip it there, when you unzip it it will create any folder it needs to and the skin will automatically apply. Read the read me on them all because some of them you can pick between a few different types.... good luck

CrazyRabbit

Microsoft Airsoft Guns Vs Linux Airsoft Guns

Which is the better OS

Which anti-virus is best

Counterstrike modding.


Eh...what was the topic again???

Irish Trinity

pie?

kdouglas

topic? what is this strange word you speak of?

Irish Trinity

i think its some crazy javascript language

Mark_Sc

Douglas or counter strike

[--SC(+)PE--]

pie?

I like moonpie

o1s1n

[--SC(+)PE--] wrote:

I like moonpie

Moon pie! What a time to be alive.

[--SC(+)PE--]

Mark_Sc

What the hell is moon pie???

I can telli am going to wind up with a big red face at the end of this

kdouglas

that depends on who you ask

CrazyRabbit

Mark_Sc wrote:

What the hell is moon pie???

I can telli am going to wind up with a big red face at the end of this

Yes, you will have a big red face, but not because you didn't know what moon pie is. It's because you didn't use google to find out!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_pie

Harekin

o1s1n wrote:

Moon pie! What a time to be alive.

You my man are a genius!

Mark_Sc

Holy carp! Where can i get these moon pies?

[--SC(+)PE--]

Holy carp! Where can i get these moon pies?

this one seems eager, should we initate him Oisin?

o1s1n

[--SC(+)PE--] wrote:

this one seems eager, should we initate him Oisin?

...
I'm a little concerned as to what your initiation involves!

liamo333

Initation shoot!!

[--SC(+)PE--]

answered above followed by Some moonpie from the quiki-mart

16airassualt

moonpies,the offical snack of airsofters;)

Mark_Sc

[--SC(+)PE--] wrote:

answered above followed by Some moonpie from the quiki-mart

So wheres this Kwiki mart

[--SC(+)PE--]

all will be revealed after the initiation shoot

Mark_Sc

So i get one at HRTA next weekend?

[--SC(+)PE--]

indeed

Mark_Sc

Sweet... and can i steal some of your propane too?
M92 should arrive by then but the propane adaptor will take a while