Pay Day

littlesurfer

In honour of payday tomorrow i would like to start a thread to aid me in my search of ridiculous ways to spend my money.....

I want to get rid of it all so i have nothing left to buy such fancy objects as ...milk and teabags!

aidan_walsh

Hello friend,

My name is aidan_walsh, one of the sons of major Gen aidan_walsh, The late Nigeria's former minister of mines and power in the regime of the late former Nigeria's military Head of state, Gen aidan_walsh.

He married my mother on the agreement that my mother, aidan_walsh , will maintain her family's name together with her children. Before he died in the German hospital on the 15th of November 1988 where he went to operate on the cancer of the knee, he fixed the Sum of $30,000.000.00 in the Central Bank of Nigeria under Intartrade Ventures Ltd on behalf of my mother. The 3 yrs maturity period placed on the money is due but the problem we are having now is that we lost the whole of the documents as a result of fire, which gutted our house 3 months ago.

We have discussed with our family attorney on how to collect the money with out hitches, he advised us to liaise with a foreigner who will act as the foreign partner of Intartrade Ventures Ltd and will purport that The money in question is urgently needed overseas for an important project.

It is on this basis I am seeking for assistance. Your percentage is negotiable. Please note; your age and profession doesn't really matter in this transaction. Waiting for your immediate response.

Regards,
aidan_walsh

Star Lord

Excellent reply Can't top that!

littlesurfer

RRIIIGHT ,....my meagre salary might not cover that! Herd of geese anyone?

Star Lord

A golden goose and a lifetime supply of chocolate?

boneless

littlesurfer wrote:

RRIIIGHT ,....my meagre salary might not cover that! Herd of geese anyone?

Of course I herd of geese!! I am an educated man!!

Lou.m

I had i friend once who stopped believing in money he said that it was just paper and metal and that the idea of value was just a concept that human beings placed upon such valueless paper and he started to burn money in the street. And then he became a civil servant.

After a while he spent his days trying to get fired but he couldn't and so ended up staying the last time i talked to him he was still there.

I think you should buy some magic beans!

But of course there is nothing ridiculous about that purchase whatsoever in fact it is a completley justified and sensible transaction. (you should get some and plant them).


I think something ridiculous would be like putting it by for a rainy day i mean what good is money going to do on a rainy day? What you need is a bloody umbrella!

(oh wait with money i can buy many umbrellas!)


Well i have always wanted to see what over 100 hundred euro of chocolate would look like not to eat it just to look at it!

You could buy some of those sweet fish jellies you sometimes get in pick n mix and set them free in a paddling pool in your back yard.

You could sponser a jelly baby.

You could do some real good and give it to charity you could adopt a kitten or a dog.

You could buy a peacock (but only if you intend to look after it a cock is for life not just for the holidays!):p HEE HEE

No but seriously no cruelty to animals!

Althought considering the pointlessness of life and the universe the most ridiculous thing to do might be to spend it wisely on prolonging your life with sustanance and shelter until your next pay day. After all little surfer we dont want you to actually suffer do we...... I SAID...... DO WE? Oh well i dont want you to actually suffer.

You could make a donation to a political party or to your local council with the proviso that they only get the donation if the entire policital community consents to make absolute prats of themselves in public everyday.. Oh oh oh no wait!Blast!!! Well there goes that one.

You could spend it all on lottery tickets!

Oh well if i think of anything else i will get back to you

Star Lord

You could buy a house!

If you dont want a house, you could always just give it to me...

littlesurfer

All wonderfull suggestions,...unfortunately my salary wont cover a house either damo,....drats....and the peacock thing...theres a story here


When i was three years old, before i learned to surf,...i was in a park, and a big peacock with big wings landed on my head and tried to fly away with me. he didn't succeed because i was quite pudgy but still i was scarred emotionally and physically. So no, I wont be purchasing a peacock...


....i do quite like the idea of sponsoring a jelly baby though....details on such a plan?

Star Lord

You but a bag of Jelly babies and pick out the one you want to sponsor. (And eat the rest)
You make that little Jelly Baby a little house out of disused boxes and make it all pretty for them to live in.
Get them a little toy car to drive around in and maybe a gummy bear to cuddle.

_Kaiser_

.. and spend the rest on theraphy for him/her to deal with the emotional horror and scarring they witnessed when you ate the rest of their brothers and sisters!

Jesus Wept

littlesurfer, I apolgise for semi-hijacking your payday thread, but while amusing myself by searching for pictures of lovely jelly babies, I uncovered something far more sinister.

Jelly Babies Torture

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Yes LittleSurfer I agree, peacocks are evil and can all go suck a fúck as far as I'm concerned! Once when I was a child my parents brought me to dublin zoo to see the other chimps. But a big peacock ran up to me and STOLE all of the popcorn I was eating! I was emotionally scarred for life!

P.S. buy loads of chocolate!

I'm ashamed of you all. This thread going on for so long without a single person saying "Yore Ma!"

On a similar note. Prostitutes. And many of them.

Star Lord

Exactly. Yore Ma!




(Yeah predicitible, but what can ya do!)

littlesurfer

ridiculous......jelly baby thread......nonsence....

these jelly baby's leech off society and then,...when they think they have reached their "cute" limit, they make such a blatant ploy for the pity of the public, .. . . ..and in particulur for financial aid...and you know that behind the scenes they live in luxury....oh yes,....jelly houses, jelly plasma screens, jelly beds, jelly lazy boys....


....scandal

Lou.m

Jelly babies are an important part of our community they add much colour and general sweetness.

For a long time they suffered under our careless consumption lifestyle and attitude.

How much they suffer!

How many are allowed to reach adulthood , we here of Jelly babies but never of Jelly people!

They must hide in fear of us living just long enough to procreate and their children are captured so many Jelly babies never to reach adulthood .

I mean their are so few that get to grow up.

Matt Holck

at least 2 grand a month

Jesus Wept

littlesurfer wrote:

ridiculous......jelly baby thread......nonsence....

these jelly baby's leech off society and then,...when they think they have reached their "cute" limit, they make such a blatant ploy for the pity of the public, .. . . ..and in particulur for financial aid...and you know that behind the scenes they live in luxury....oh yes,....jelly houses, jelly plasma screens, jelly beds, jelly lazy boys....


....scandal

wrong attitude :mad::(

Lou.m wrote:

Jelly babies are an important part of our community they add much colour and general sweetness.

For a long time they suffered under our careless consumption lifestyle and attitude.

How much they suffer!

How many are allowed to reach adulthood , we here of Jelly babies but never of Jelly people!

They must hide in fear of us living just long enough to procreate and their children are captured so many Jelly babies never to reach adulthood .

I mean their are so few that get to grow up.

Right attitude :)

Star Lord

This thread is making me wanna eat any jelly babies I find...

Jesus Wept

DamoElDiablo wrote:

This thread is making me wanna eat any jelly babies I find...

wrong attitude :mad::(

Star Lord

But its ooooh so right!

littlesurfer

Stoopid jelly babies....have lost all interest in throwing my meagre salary down the drain now.....will probably use it to pay bills and the like now......

*sulks in corner

KnifeWRENCH

the jelly babies at mallow cinema have gang-bangs.....
they're all stuck together

Star Lord

You could hire a nekkid man servant?

/applies

littlesurfer

now theres an idea.....nekkid and serving......hmm

challengemaster

you could take CM out for a birthday meal?

(granted its a bit early)

aidan_walsh

challengemaster wrote:

you could take CM out for a birthday meal?

(granted its a bit early)

Why? When is Capt'n Midnight's birthday?

Kojak

I like free money....

Lou.m

littlesurfer wrote:

Stoopid jelly babies....have lost all interest in throwing my meagre salary down the drain now.....will probably use it to pay bills and the like now......

*sulks in corner

AWWH poor Little little little littlesurfer(sorry i didnt know when to stop saying little) we have jellied you all out.

Ignore the Jelly babies and go and spend it on booze and members of the opposite sex.

And erm i would not check out the Think of the Jelly baby thread if i were you erm i seem to have taken it up a notch.

I am sorry littlesurfer but i just had to do it.

You see i have always wanted to start a not so secret secret order so things have developed a bit.

Think of it as the stonecutters with more mystical knowledge and well erm ..Jelly babies or maybe no Jelly babies but ...well we know and protect their secret knowledge.

Anyhow dont let my obsession ruin your fun be silly and ruin yourself financially. Or dont the choice is yours maybe you really want to be sensible.

Star Lord

Littlesurfer I said I was applying for said position... I still have not received my application form...

Or if I have the position, I still haven't received my uniform...

littlesurfer

wow, are you going to wear that???? The job is yours....thread closed , money spent....

Star Lord

I wins!

Kojak

can I have some money??

Matt Holck

The-Rigger wrote:

wrong attitude :mad::(

that must be why we don't get along

littlesurfer

sure