The funniest thing I've done in quite some time.

So Glad

I had just come out of a music studio in town and was heading down to a shop with a two friends and the sun hit me and I needed to sneeze really fast, so I sneezed really quick to my left and kept walking. I looked again and saw some blonde wommin brushing off her face. I had sneezed right in her face! I didn't even say sorry at first, I just cracked up laughing, same as my mates did. Then she said "Was that a chat-up line?" to which I replied "No, but did it work?" (because she was hawt)......she said "No."....

Thank God it wasn't a dirty snotty one, and if she is reading this, thanks for not slapping me across that face.

Thanks,

Dav

connundrum

You should have asked for her number. In some cultures that is seen as a mating ritual, she probably swooned right after

you should have licked it off

what the hell I only posted once

edit never mind: there were 6 posts of the same thing a second ago

scojones

That's disgusting. Sneeze into your hands / tissue in future.

So Glad

scojones wrote:

That's disgusting. Sneeze into your hands / tissue in future.

I had no time, it just spurted out, so I tilted my head to the left real quick and let one out. I'm glad it was a hot chick though. My mucus was not wasted.

Dave!

You vile animal

Jesus Wept

There is nothing remotely funny about it, and if that's the funniest thing you've done in a long time, you must be painfully unfunny.

ferdi

ah come on grumpy pants! its pretty funny!

So Glad

The-Rigger wrote:

There is nothing remotely funny about it, and if its the funniest thing you've done in a long time, you must be painfully unfunny.

Well she found it funny, don't see why you don't. Maybe you'd like for me to do it to you?

connundrum

The-Rigger wrote:

There is nothing remotely funny about it, and if that's the funniest thing you've done in a long time, you must be painfully unfunny.

Who's a bit of a Moaning Michael then

Jesus Wept

connundrum wrote:

Who's a bit of a Moaning Michael then

Not at all, sneezing in someones face is fúcking disgusting, no matter what way you cut it.

So Glad

The-Rigger wrote:

Not at all, sneezing in someones face is fúcking disgusting, no matter what way to cut it.

Did I say it wasn't a snotty one? I was all wind. She didn't slap me, so it's all good.

Degsy

If you'd have done it to me,you wouldnt be able to type your "funny" stories for months

So Glad

Well if you look like that guy from Apocalypto who's in your sig, then no, no I would be saying any more funny stories.

Smellyirishman

Rigger, it's OK, she joked at it.

If she had started breaking down into tears, or it happened to someone not so appreciative of a face full of crap (probably most of us), then it wouldn't be funny.

Although I think it's more unbelievable than funny, I can't imagine anyone being accepting of that.

copacetic

So Glad wrote:

I had just come out of a music studio in town and was heading down to a shop with a two friends and the sun hit me and I needed to sneeze really fast, so I sneezed really quick to my left and kept walking. I looked again and saw some blonde wommin brushing off her face. I had sneezed right in her face! I didn't even say sorry at first, I just cracked up laughing, same as my mates did. Then she said "Was that a chat-up line?" to which I replied "No, but did it work?" (because she was hawt)......she said "No."....

Thank God it wasn't a dirty snotty one, and if she is reading this, thanks for not slapping me across that face.

Thanks,

Dav

how is this funny? feckin disgusting i can see, but funny? what was the really funny thing you did before this a long while back, piss on someone?

how did you have time to turn to the side but not have time to just raise your hand to your face? are your sneezes normally 'too fast' for you to react to?

is this really what passes for a 'funny' story these days? You should just make something up if feeling a desperate need to post in future, you'll look like less of a saddo. but make sure you start off mentioning you just left the studio every time, that useless detail really makes you look cool. well done son.

So Glad

copacetic wrote:

how is this funny? feckin disgusting i can see, but funny? what was the really funny thing you did before this a long while back, piss on someone?

how did you have time to turn to the side but not have time to just raise your hand to your face? are your sneezes normally 'too fast' for you to react to?

is this really what passes for a 'funny' story these days? You should just make something up if feeling a desperate need to post in future, you'll look like less of a saddo. but make sure you start off mentioning you just left the studio every time, that useless detail really makes you look cool. well done son.

Well then my job is well done.

Lazare

connundrum wrote:

Who's a bit of a Moaning Michael then

Have to agree with The Rigger, I don't find it particularly disgusting, it's just devoid of any sort of humour.

Lazare

copacetic wrote:

but make sure you start off mentioning you just left the studio every time, that useless detail really makes you look cool. well done son.

Now that's funny.

Degsy

Lazare wrote:

Have to agree with The Rigger, I don't find it particularly disgusting, it's just devoid of any sort of humour.

And for some reason,intensely annoying too...it must be that bit about the music studio..

ferdi

Degsy wrote:

If you'd have done it to me,you wouldnt be able to type your "funny" stories for months

jesus, you sound like a well balanced individual there mate, what would you have done? broken his fingers? its an accident ffs.

So Glad

Yes also, the whole "leaving the music studio" fiasco is just story telling, saying where I was coming from to where I was destine to get at. I'm sure if I said I was coming from Burger King you wouldn't care. But thanks for thinking I'm cool.

DarkJager

It would have been classier if you have a pocket **** and shot a pearl necklace over her....Thats a ****in chat up line!!

So Glad

DarkJager wrote:

It would have been classier if you have a pocket **** and shot a pearl necklace over her....Thats a ****in chat up line!!

Pearl Necklace! You stole that from Podge Agus Rodge, didn't yeh? Anyways, fair play!

DarkJager

Pearl Necklaces have been around for centuries since the dawn of time....

So Glad

That they have, that they have.

im_invisible

OMG you just had 1/8th of an orgasm all over her face!!

So Glad

By accident on purpose.

mp3guy

Heh, although the initial topic isn't that funny, while it is amusing, what is moreso is the righteous boards.ie members condemning the OP.

Rb

Lazare wrote:

Now that's funny.

Agreed.

SoGlad wrote:

saying where I was coming from to where I was destine to get at

Lies.

Don't find the story particularly amusing myself, quite disgusting tbh even though it was apparently only, to quote the OP, "wind", despite him saying she was wiping it off her face afterwards.

Kintarō Hattori

I'm shocked as for once I'm agreeing with something RB says! It's not a particuarly funny story, embarassing certainly, but not in the least bit funny. I'm not judging you or condemning you OP, but did you really find it funny?

So Glad

eo980 wrote:

I'm shocked as for once I'm agreeing with something RB says! It's not a particuarly funny story, embarassing certainly, but not in the least bit funny. I'm not judging you or condemning you OP, but did you really find it funny?

Yeah because she just walked by me at the second I did it, seemed like hilariously perfect timing. I was laughing also because my mates were laughing. It was like something out of Mr. Bean.

Pighead

So Glad wrote:

It was like something out of Mr. Bean.

Well that confirms it then, it definitely wasn't funny.

me and the biz

mp3guy wrote:

Heh, although the initial topic isn't that funny, while it is amusing, what is moreso is the righteous boards.ie members condemning the OP.

haha yeah

Completely predictable

You're some shower of dry ****es. If I had of seen that happen, I would of broke my bollix laughing.

Riesen_Meal

At least she saw the funny side, as horrible as it was!

You shouldve asked her how she was fixed after she asked was it a chat-up line....

Quite strange she even mentioned that, OP I think you were in there and you didnt even know!

i was there and it wasnt funny at all. terrible if you ask me, woman cant even walk the streets without fear of that guy!

Tivoli

hhaaha i sneeze on my little brother all the time,

god boards.ie is 75% muppets

bluto63

ferdi wrote:

jesus, you sound like a well balanced individual there mate, what would you have done? broken his fingers? its an accident ffs.

Yea, what could the woman have done? It was an accident. Anything the woman could've done would have just created more problems.

Now, while it's not funny enough to be the funniest thing you've done in quite some time, it's still kinda funny. Probably frickin' hilarious if you were there!

pyure

im_invisible wrote:

OMG you just had 1/8th of an orgasm all over her face!!

I sneezed 8 times in a row once and, would you believe it, didnt have an orgasm! instead it caused me to fall over and hit my head.

dont know why i felt the need to share that...

r3nu4l

copacetic wrote:

how is this funny? feckin disgusting i can see, but funny? what was the really funny thing you did before this a long while back, piss on someone?

Now that made me laugh

OP, I imagine if it had been me I wouldn't be laughing but I have seen someone else do this before at a dinner and sneeze across the table into a fellow guests face. That was hilarious. So unexpected and I could tell the guy who sneezed was shocked and embarrassed but the poor bastard couldn't help laughing either.

I'd be mortified if it was me but I'd also be laughing because of the sheer randomness of it

WindSock

scojones wrote:

That's disgusting. Sneeze into your hands / tissue in future.

^^That's disgusting, sneeze into the nook of your shoulder or elbow in future. (if no tissue)

So Glad

r3nu4l wrote:

Now that made me laugh

OP, I imagine if it had been me I wouldn't be laughing but I have seen someone else do this before at a dinner and sneeze across the table into a fellow guests face. That was hilarious. So unexpected and I could tell the guy who sneezed was shocked and embarrassed but the poor bastard couldn't help laughing either.

I'd be mortified if it was me but I'd also be laughing because of the sheer randomness of it

Yay! More people are starting to see the funny side of it! Thank god.

Yeah, it was the sheer randomness. And I was so in there with her, if was love at first....erm....snot?

I'm sorry, I'm leaving now...

Archeron

This thread is funny. Drive by sneezings, Ha!

So Glad

Also, we've evolved a new way of indicating to each other (it being nearly summer and all) the there is a hot female in the vicinity. We just say "Oh, I need to sneeze.". But then there'd be the obvious "Oh, erm, where exactly, do you need to sneeze?" or "From a scale of 1-10 how badly do you need to sneeze?"