Things you can do with rashers

boneless

You can use them to perform skin grafts on pigs with bad sun-burn.

Jesus Wept

You can eat them.

banjopaul

you could slap a vegetarian in the face with them?

Sarky

Stitch them together to make a fashionable pair of socks.

Or use them as a cheap alternative to insoles.

boneless

The-Rigger wrote:

You can eat them.

Don't be silly... we're talking about rashers...

Sarky

Use them to tip waiters instead of money.

boneless

Place them in line on the front step to deter canvassing political hacks.

Sarky

Pack them into your floorboards and line your windows with them as insulation.

Star Lord

Thinning hair? Staple some rashers to your shiny noggin!

Sarky

Carve out a loving message on one and send it to someone instead of a greeting card.

WhiteAp

Carve the numbers 0 to 9 on a nice chunky rasher and walk around pretending its the newest mobile phone (The Motorola Rshr)...

Star Lord

Cut out your tongue and attach a rasher to the stump as a new and flavourful tongue.*

(*added bonus, all the meat lovering members of the opposite sex will wanna kiss you)

Guest

Pantyliners.

Black Swan

Stuff them in either side of your mouth underneath your cheeks and talk like the Godfather...

Star Lord

attach rashers to the genitals of a sworn enemy and dare them to annoy a large dog.

kleefarr

Here we go...

1. Fry three RASHERS until very crispy.

2. While frying rashers - hard boil two eggs

3. Once boiled and shelled, mixed hard boiled eggs and crispy rashers together in mayonnaise.

4. Add coarsely chopped tomato (2) Mixed all together.

5. Toast two slices of you favourite bread.

6. Butter toasted bread, fill with rasher/egg/tomato/mayonnaise mixture

7. Sandwich together and ENJOY! YUM

Star Lord

Don't be ridiculous!!!

boneless

kleefarr wrote:

Here we go...

1. Fry three RASHERS until very crispy.

2. While frying rashers - hard boil two eggs

3. Once boiled and shelled, mixed hard boiled eggs and crispy rashers together in mayonnaise.

4. Add coarsely chopped tomato (2) Mixed all together.

5. Toast two slices of you favourite bread.

6. Butter toasted bread, fill with rasher/egg/tomato/mayonnaise mixture

7. Sandwich together and ENJOY! YUM

Some people.... pffft....:rolleyes:

Chillwithcian

Rub them all over your bum as a replacement to toilet paper

Sarky

Biodegradable frisbees.

Star Lord

For the ladies - Scented nipple tassles

Hail 2 Da Chimp

For the men... Circumsized? Use a rasher to fool friends into thinking you're not!

Star Lord

Use rashers in a fun game of "pin the tail on the gardai!"

badgerbadger

stare at them long enough to see the head of a badger

boneless

badgerbadger wrote:

stare at them long enough to see the head of a badger

That works! Thanks!

Star Lord

You can make a paradox, because rashers are boneless, yet boneless is not rashers!

Sarky

Place one inside the computer chassis of a hated co-worker.

fry one till crisp, then use it to sand down the walls before painting.

Sarky

Sarky wrote:

Place one inside the computer chassis of a hated co-worker.

Raw fish behind a radiator is even better

boneless

Deleted User wrote:

Raw fish behind a radiator is even better

Hey... start your own fish thread!!!

Star Lord

You can run down the street, slapping strangers in the face with a rasher (but keep running)

BobTheBeat

Wrap a piece of banana in a rasher and place in deep fat fryer. Yum!

Dry out rasher, carve thinly separated lines in a circular motion whilst singing into said carving instrument. Place on record player for cheap home recording solution

Stitch about a dozen rashers together end to end, attatch a buckle and make it into a belt.

BobTheBeat

Deleted User wrote:

Stitch about a dozen rashers together end to end, attatch a buckle and make it into a belt.

The world of fashion salutes you!

littlesurfer

stencil the face of jesus on with oil, fry lightly and then post on ebay,.....you'll be surprised what people will pay for!

Chillwithcian

Score them and rub them sexily accross your belly!!!!!

littlesurfer

hang them from the ceiling and see if flies stick to them!

boneless

They can also be used as a deterent to the infamous Chip Pan Pixies; we all know only too well what they do! Dirty little Pixies.:eek:

Star Lord

Duurtay!

Save on hair products, simply smear rashers over your head till your hair stays in place!

littlesurfer

or....for the follically challenged man in your life,....slap a few across his bald head for a modern and tasty take on the combover

Star Lord

Use rashers to wax your surfboard

littlesurfer

sew tons of them together to make a wetsuit!

Star Lord

wander down the street offering raw rashers to random people as presents

littlesurfer

carve pokemon characters on them and sell them to little children

Star Lord

Challenge someone to a duel by slapping them in the face with a rasher

littlesurfer

stick them to the soles of your feet go ice skating

Star Lord

Cheap inefficient (and gross) panty liners...

littlesurfer

liquidise them, freeze it, stick it on a cone and give it to your granny

Star Lord

Stitch a load of them together to make your own "leatherface" mask

littlesurfer

stitch a load of them to your face and save a bundle on fake tan!..

Star Lord

Throw some into your tumble drier to absorb static and give your clothes that just-cooked smell!