The Funny Side of Religion

Coriolanus

Pushtrak wrote: »

Maybe a few days or a week ago would have been more optimal time wise for this video, but I only saw it today so today it is. Top quality video.

Turned off after 2 minutes. Animals have an innate understanding that living as a community is better than strife? Yeah, tell that to the lion cubs killed when a new male takes over the tribe.

keppler

HOSANNA IN THE HIACE

sponsoredwalk

Dear Sirs,
I understand from the news (see here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/nov/25/girl-arrested-allegedly-burning-quran
and here:
http://www.iengage.org.uk/component/content/article/1-news/1028-six-edl-supporters-arrested-after-burning-the-quran ) that the British
state has decided to grant to at least some religious books/sacred texts
the protection of the law, and to prosecute their burning/defacement
/disrespect.
I am therefore writing to you today to request that legal protection be
accorded to all copies of the three editions of J.D. Jackson’s “Classical
Electrodynamics” (ISBN 978-0471431329, ISBN 978-0471309321, ISBN
047130932X).
I believe it ticks all the boxes for a sacred text: by making me understand
for the first time in all their clarity and power both Maxwell’s equations,
the first step towards a Grand Unification theory that would give a single
explanation for all physical phenomena in the universe, and Einstein’s
Special Theory of Relativity, which let me glimpse for the first time the
true nature of space, time and causality, it changed my view of the
universe and my concept of our place and role in it; it opened my eyes
to the beauty and harmony and marvelous complexity of everything that
exists; it gave me a clear and understandable explanation of complex and
baffling phenomena; it requires lengthy and intensive study under the
guidance of learned masters to truly grasp its significance; I tend to swear
on it when I need to prove my absolute sincerity and my cat is not around;
finally, seeing it defaced, burnt, thrown in a skip, pulped or in any way
damaged causes me emotional pain and occasional mild irritation.

I realise it appears to fail the test in important areas – for example, it
seems to contain far less made-up stuff than, say, the Bible, the Koran,
the Book of Mormon or Dianetics; but in fact, if you look at the exercises
section, you’ll find plenty of perfect conductors, infinite planes, and
continuous (in the mathematical sense) physical phenomena and bodies.
All demonstrably imaginary, as any first-year physics student could easily
prove. So in fact there is plenty of made-up stuff, it’s just well hidden,
which should make it a better-than-average sacred text.

One thing though might be construed as a flaw – the fact that nowhere in
the book, not even in the pre-New Age, 1962 first edition, there is a call to
genocide, ethnic cleansing, war or mass rape. In spite of the fact that the
title itself refers to classical electrodynamics, there isn’t even a call for the
extermination of quantum physicists – something I tended to consider a
major oversight in my last year at university, to be completely honest. I’m
not sure this will be enough to disqualify it from the status of sacred text,
if that should be the case perhaps we could add an appendix with Richard
Feynman’s autobiography, which at least contains reference to a couple of
punch-ups, as a sort of Saint Dick the Divine’s Apocalypse - although he
wasn't nearly high enough to be compared to the author of the original
one, not even in the bit where he tells about Brazil and the bongos.
Although I blew up a considerable number of electrolytic capacitors
during lab courses (I tended to get the polarities mixed up with annoying
regularity) I haven’t caused any intentional explosive damage to
anything/anyone since my mother threw away my chemistry set when I
was 12 (and even then, the Kitchen Table Incident was at least partly an
accident); therefore, alas, I cannot threaten you with an onslaught of
terror, violence and murder in case you should not accede to my request,
but I’ll be severely annoyed and possibly even a bit snappy if The Book
does not receive the full protection of the law. After all, what matters is
how I feel about it, not the actual fact that it is God-, Allah-, Xenu- or
Flying Spaghetti Monster-inspired, and I feel very strongly about this.
Yours (name withheld to protect the guilty)
link

pH

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

Dear Sirs,
I understand from the news (see here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/nov/25/girl-arrested-allegedly-burning-quran
and here:
http://www.iengage.org.uk/component/content/article/1-news/1028-six-edl-supporters-arrested-after-burning-the-quran ) that the British
state has decided to grant to at least some religious books/sacred texts
the protection of the law, and to prosecute their burning/defacement
/disrespect.

To show my support, I just downloaded the Koran - then I deleted it (oh and no recycle bin nonsense either - *really* deleted it!)

I may go all out and post a video of me deleting another one on youtube.

eoin5

pH wrote: »

To show my support, I just downloaded the Koran - then I deleted it (oh and no recycle bin nonsense either - *really* deleted it!)

I may go all out and post a video of me deleting another one on youtube.

Its probably still recoverable, what you should do is stick it on an old usb pen and throw it in the blender for a few. That should do

Dave!

eoin5 wrote: »

Its probably still recoverable, what you should do is stick it on an old usb pen and throw it in the blender for a few. That should do

Then set the blender on fire!

tdv123

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZuowNcuGsc

GO_Bear

Nevore wrote: »

Turned off after 2 minutes. Animals have an innate understanding that living as a community is better than strife? Yeah, tell that to the lion cubs killed when a new male takes over the tribe.

Does that remind you of anything LOL ???????

(Exodus 12:29-30) wrote:

"And it came to pass, that at midnight the LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon; and all the firstborn of cattle. And Pharaoh rose up in the night, he, and all his servants, and all the Egyptians; and there was a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead."

rainbow kirby

Dave!

Sam Vimes

pH wrote: »

To show my support, I just downloaded the Koran - then I deleted it (oh and no recycle bin nonsense either - *really* deleted it!)

I may go all out and post a video of me deleting another one on youtube.

Deleted it? Why didn't you burn it...to a cd?

fontanalis

GLaDOS

This amused me far more than it should have

keppler

Atheist football player
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1944298

Galvasean

Dave! wrote: »

In fairness to her, she delivers quite the comeback...

Dades

Galvasean wrote: »

In fairness to her, she delivers quite the comeback...

Comeback my arse. She might as well have replied "STFU!"

liamw

Dades wrote: »

Comeback my arse. She might as well have replied "STFU!"

I think he was being sarcastic

Dades

Ah. That would be first day back in work slowness on my part. :pac:

mikhail

This is a little tangental for the forum, but I'll use the Marx quote at the start to drag it in.

mehfesto

For whatever reason, Google Reader suggested I'd like this:

Fr. Tim Finigan, has a great insight, by means of a reductio ad absurdum:


I am heartily sick of the protest “I don’t go to Mass because my parents forced me to go when I was young.” OK Son, what else did your parents force you to do?

Your parents forced you to wash before you went out in the morning. Those cruel tyrants made sure that you cleaned your teeth before you went to bed. They dragged you kicking and screaming to school so that you could learn to read – and the teachers collaborated by forcing you to learn the alphabet and put the words together.

To top it all, after looking after your physical needs, they had the temerity to exercise their authority by looking after your spiritual needs and taking you to Mass on Sunday.

If they had neglected to see that you were clean, had suitable clothes, eat some sort of nourishing food, get some education and cross the road safely, they would have been visited by social services and given a care plan so that you could be healthy and safe.

And you are complaining because they took responsibility for your eternal life?

In this context, it is relevant to quote again the classic:

Ten reasons why I never wash

I was forced to as a child.
People who wash are hypocrites – they think they are cleaner than everybody else.
There are so many different kinds of soap, I can’t decide which one is best.
I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped.
I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.
None of my friends wash.
I’ll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
I can’t spare the time.
The bathroom is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer.
People who make soap are only after your money.
If you aren’t checking Fr. Finigan’s blog each day, you are probably missing some good insights.

I thought'd I add to this washing analogy bull**** myself, with more reasons people don't go:

- The toothbrush sexually abused me.

- This herbal remedy for my acne claims to be the answer to all my problems. But when scientifically tested, it falls apart at the seams.

- The mouthwash tells me to use it twice daily. But on the back it says three times daily. And on the lid it says it probably shouldn't be used at all... So many conflicting views...

-For best results for the hair gel, I should murder innocent civilians in the name of Dax Wax.

- They said when you hold up a piece of bread in the air and someone rings a bell it becomes some old dudes skin... Oh, wait. That wasn't bathroom based. Ah Feck it.

Galvasean

Dades wrote: »

Ah. That would be first day back in work slowness on my part. :pac:

Indeed. I was alluding to the hypocracy of posting something in public, the when someone corrects you turning to them and claiming no one asked for their opinion.
It's like those people who post their crap videos in the Film Production forum asking for feedback, but then lose their rag when people offer constructive criticism.

Coriolanus

Galvasean wrote: »

It's like those people who post their crap videos in the Film Production forum asking for feedback, but then lose their rag when people offer constructive criticism.

I didn't know such a forum existed. Might be worth getting out from under the bridge for! :pac:

vibe666

Nevore wrote: »

I didn't know such a forum existed. Might be worth getting out from under the bridge for! :pac:

under the bridge downtown?

aceygray

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEHUzNWnh5M

sponsoredwalk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XEgkViLbTk

Dave!

Tide goes in... tide goes out... explain that, science!!!!!!!!!!!

sponsoredwalk

It's as if he's just doing it on purpose at this stage

Dades

Why didn't the atheist guy just mention the gravitational pull of the moon instead of saying "I don't know!"

Would have made O'Reilly look even more stupid.

Links234

via reddit http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/eyew5/do_your_worst_fixed/

recedite

Dades wrote: »

Why didn't the atheist guy just mention the gravitational pull of the moon instead of saying "I don't know!"

IMO it was a trap; mention the word gravity and fox news guy would quickly say "but you can't explain that".

Silverman deflects the trap by sticking to his point; just because you haven't yet got the full explanation for something, does not mean that Mr. Sky Magic Man must be behind it.