I'm ashamed of how we met!

LegacyUser

i am with my Fiance just over 3 years

Hes a wonderful man and the love of my life.We met when i was 18- he was 21 and have been together ever since.

However I have been lying to my friends/family for the last 3 years about how we met.

They all think we met in the pub during a footy game. We actually met by mistake-I text him by acc and we got talking etc - eventually met and fell in love etc.I have never told anyone this and I asked him not to. Im ashamed of how we met-It sounds so patehic-Like meeting someone over the internet only worse.

But he told his parents from the off how we met- and this weekend our parents are meeting for the first time.Im so paranoid that someone will bring up how we met!

I will die!

AnonoBoy

tallyho(e)! wrote:

i am with my Fiance just over 3 years

Hes a wonderful man and the love of my life.We met when i was 18- he was 21 and have been together ever since.

However I have been lying to my friends/family for the last 3 years about how we met.

They all think we met in the pub during a footy game. We actually met by mistake-I text him by acc and we got talking etc - eventually met and fell in love etc.I have never told anyone this and I asked him not to. Im ashamed of how we met-It sounds so patehic-Like meeting someone over the internet only worse.

But he told his parents from the off how we met- and this weekend our parents are meeting for the first time.Im so paranoid that someone will bring up how we met!

I will die!

When I read the title of this thread I was thinking that you had met the guy at an orgy of some sort or performing random sex acts on strangers in the pub toilets or something.

It sounds like your story could quite easily be spun off as a charming little mix-up. You texted him by mistake. There were a few texts back and forth before you realised it and then you got chatting. Big deal. Can't see how anyone would view this as something to be ashamed of. It's not like you were randomly texting numbers hoping to hook up with an anonymous stranger.

I doubt your family will care how you met - just that you're happy.

BrandonBlock

Dont worry about it anyway, family usually dont get into specifics like that.

ferdi

you met in a very cute and charming way, there is absolutely nothing embarrassing about it, nothing to be ashamed of. i really dont see the problem, apart from the fact that you have now lied to your friends and family....

the pub is not the only legitimate way to meet someone:rolleyes:

John Mason

LOL - what a brilliant way to meet destiny at its best - why are you ashamed, i think that is brilliant

biko

The problem is not how you two met - it's the lying ever since.
Just come clean and say sorry, I was embarrassed but we met in by mistake on the phone.

It's a waaay better story than the usual ones, I think.

MarkR

I expected so much more from this story. Ah well.

Sounds like that you've got mail film. (I'm making a bit of an assumption as I've never seen it)

Relax, nothing weird or perverse about the way you met! I know a guy who met his mrs through the buy and sell ads. Now that might be something you'd be forgiven for glamourizing..

JungleBunny

Why would you be ashamed of the way you met?
It's almost like a story line out of a romantic movie!
Fess up and tell them you were embarrassed to tell them the truth of how you met... you have nothing to be ashamed of.

I met my fiance over the internet, and I will never be ashamed of that... Being ashamed of that would almost feel like I was ashamed of our relationship.

frizzefreckles

i think your story is very sweet why would you make one up?! it's like irishbird said it's like destiny! in about ten years time films will be made about a story like yours, remember 'You've Got Mail'?!

Oriel

"Erm Mum, things were tight and I was working as a prostitue, and he was my client...
Aprils fools!
No really, we met by text."

Ickle Magoo

What's to be ashamed of? Pffft! I met my husband when I tomahawked a paintscraper at his head - try not wriggling when your prospective inlaws hear that one, lol!

Seriously, I think it's a cute way to meet - just tell everyone, tell them why you were embarassed & laugh. All your familes care about is your hapiness & what happens from here-in - I doubt they really care how you got talking on day one...

dame

Who cares? If it does come up you can always let your fiancé answer and say "Well actually X will kill me but actually she accidentally sent me a text and she was so embarrassed about it. I still get the odd text from her by accident!" People will just think it's cute and anyway it wasn't really an outright, more of a lie by ommission I'd say. You're first face to face meeting was probably in a pub so it is legitimate to say you met in a pub.

Drift

To me it sounds like a romantic way of meeting. You texted him by accident and grew to like his personality enough to meet him and see if there was a physical attraction too.

Sounds like something you parents would like to know instead of he chatted you up as a randomer in the pub based purely on your looks.

Nothing at all to be ashamed of.

MarkR

Actually, come to think of it I met Mrs MarkR as a child when I was visiting relatives in Ireland (from states originally). Years after we got together we realised that her uncle and my mother had worked together and we'd played together as 5 year olds. Mad, eh?

(By the way, was it a saucy text? Just between you and me - I swear!)

Talliesin

This is pretty confusing.

I could understand more if you'd met him in a pub during a football game and made up some story about how you texted him by mistake.

Really. What's the issue?

Mr. Incognito

I think you have an (false) opinion that people care about how you met. They ask at the wedding, you say whatever, they go oh and go looking for an entree. Seriously with organising a wedding you should have better things to worry about.

I actually think it's romantic. Out of all the numbers in the world!

Anyway, watch out for the best man landing you in it at the speech. That's good material for a slagging.

NutJob

I have to say it has the romantic fate ring to it.

I was expecting something shocking

hullaballoo

ferdi wrote:

you met in a very cute and charming way, there is absolutely nothing embarrassing about it, nothing to be ashamed of. i really dont see the problem, apart from the fact that you have now lied to your friends and family....

the pub is not the only legitimate way to meet someone:rolleyes:

Fact.

Fanny Cradock

No need to be ashamed. It's romantic

Thinking about it, weren't Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in some romantic comedy with a similar premise? If it good enough for Hollywood, it's good enough for anyone :rolleyes:

Mountain <> (non-existent) molehill

Fwaggle

Em this all seems a bit silly.

These days loads of people meet over the internet and things so it's hardly taboo. Seems a bit childish to me.

dazftw

I met my last girlfriend over myspace? I wouldnt be worried if it was by phone either? I would be happy think of it this way.. what would you be doing now if he hadnt text you?

Be happy

Im sure your friends and family wont care they will probably find it odd you lied about it? Its seriously not that bad at all

Zebra3

OP,

It's no big deal.

Best of luck anyway.

PeakOutput

i met my last girlfriend from myspace as well it was completely unintentional and out of character for both of us

i didnt tell me family thats how we met but all my mates knew i was jsut not bothered lieing and decided to take the slagging it lasted about 2 days then they set up their own accounts when they saw what she looked like

get over it people dont really care how you met only that your happy

Stargal

Do you really care so much about what people think of you that something as insignificant as this matters to you? Look you're with the man that you're going to be spending the rest of your life with - at some stage this story is going to come out so why not get it out of the way when the parents are meeting? Seriously, in a few years time you're going to look back on how you met and laugh about it.

Caliden

That has the be the most awesome meeting ever!
An accidental text and now you're engaged to him. Congrats and it's nothing to be ashamed of, as a matter of fact people would probably go 'awwwwww, that's so sweet'

dudara

Why are you so insecure as to be ashamed of this?

Any story that brings two people together is worth telling.

randylonghorn

tallyho(e)! wrote:

Like meeting someone over the internet only worse.

And in this day and age, how many couples do you think first bumped into one another on myspace, or bebo, or indeed boards.ie (I can think of a few from the latter myself, and I'm relatively new around here!)

Why does it matter?

This is the only bit that matters:

tallyho(e)! wrote:

Hes a wonderful man and the love of my life.

I know a couple where the wife is a vet, and in classic James Herriott style when he first saw her she was about to plunge her hand up the wrong end of a cow! Not alone do they take great pleasure from telling the story, they've been known to tell it, in full detail, at the dinner table ... which is just wrong!

Glowing

How cute!

I wouldn't be ashamed of that at all!

SouthernBelle

AnonoBoy wrote:

When I read the title of this thread I was thinking that you had met the guy at an orgy of some sort or performing random sex acts on strangers in the pub toilets or something..

That's exactly what went through my head too!! :rolleyes:

You have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of - look on it as fate that brought you together.

AnonoBoy wrote:

I doubt your family will care how you met - just that you're happy.

I totally agree.:)

tinkerbell

I agree with all the other posters here - it's so cute the way you met! You should never be ashamed of how you meet the love of your life. Your family won't care, just say ya were embarrassed, but honestly - you have nothing to be embarrassed about

_blank_

Hang on a second.

Everyone saying 'it's so cute, shouldn't be an issue' or 'zomg I thought it was something really bad when I read the title' aren't really helping the OP.

This IS an issue for her, like it or not, it's why she opened the thread I'd imagine.

Look OP, chances that the families will discuss this I'd say are slim at their first meeting, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Later down the line, if one of your fiancé's family does happen to mention it to one of yours, and then they happen to say it to you, sure you'll be embarrassed. But these people are your family, I'm sure they won't take you out to hang you at dawn or anything.

They'll more than likely react like everyone else in this thread, and it will then become a non-issue.

The other option is for you to 'come clean', so to speak, but I see no need tbh. It's a little white lie that's harming no-one.

DJ_Spider

Right stay with me on this one! I was in a relationship for 2 1/2 yrs and then she said we not getting on and should split. We still saw eachother for coffee, drinks and the obvious. But everyone told me she was using me and so I said when or can I come back? She said when you can prove yourself. I thought ok lets see what I have to do.

Anyway after Xmas 2005 I was sat in my room in a homeless hostel and saw an ad for text friends. Now I'm not sure how I manaaged it but as I had a txt bundle on my fone but no calling credit I managed to send and recieve txts. Other people were getting the reverse charge txtx every time they sent one!

I sent an ad to the personals saying Sleepless in Somerset blah, blah. Anyway I got a txt from a lady in Dublin. We chatted by txt for a bit then she asked for my number. Well we then started talking for hours into the early hours!

Eventually I told her I lived in a homeless hostel, whereas before I just said I share a house. Not exactly a lie, I DID share a house, with about 45 people! Anyway as I was on the dole, and I signed on on mondays, it was about this time and I was excused signing for 6 weeks as we have a few bank holidays in the UK and I got my money early.

I got a flight to dublin and met her at the airport. I didn't expect anything more than a holiday to 'get my head together' but we just clicked and the rest is history as they say.

I haven't had to explain the truth to my parents as they passed away 7 yrs ago and so have hers. But we haven't told all her brothers and sisters. Only a few very close friends.

So there you go, I moved here permanantly and now work as a DJ and getting established. I don't miss my 'ex' in fact we haven't spoken or txted eachother for ages. I used to txt her a lot, but that was really because I missed the boys. They weren't mine but she had 4 from previous relationships. They missed me but have accepted it now.

I don't even miss england, and even celebrated paddys day in Bray this year with 2 korean students we have staying with us!

So stuff what the world thinks OP, as long as you are happy, who cares how you met? BTW when I worked at orange in the UK, someone txted thier ex by mistake and then got back together!

[Jackass]

I think that's a legend story about how you met!! Destiney and all that! I'd love that story...

Anyway, it could be worse...I met my girlfriend in Benidorm

haha

Esel

Brilliant idea! I'm texting random numbers as I type (I am ambiguous after all!). Much cheaper than the whole pub scene, and if it worked for you....

cast_iron

OP, if this is the height of your problems, you're a lucky person.

There is absolutely NOTHING remotely embarrassing about how ye met!

Care to share with us what exactly you find wrong with it? Out of curiosity, what would you consider acceptable meeting circumstances?

BaZmO*

The unfortunate thing about the OP not letting her fiance say anything about how they met is that he's missing out on a fantastic story to tell at his wedding speech.

OP, seriously you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and I'd have to honestly say I wouldn't know anybody that wouldn't find your story absolutely charming, sweet and romantic.

Just tell people and then it's out there for everyone to know and I'd be shocked if anybody thought there was anything wrong with it. You may have have to take a bit of slagging but that's just the Irish way. And if anybody did happen to have a problem with it well then they're the ones with serious issues not you.

PeakOutput wrote:

i met my last girlfriend from myspace as well it was completely unintentional and out of character for both of us

i didnt tell me family thats how we met but all my mates knew i was jsut not bothered lieing and decided to take the slagging it lasted about 2 days then they set up their own accounts when they saw what she looked like

Haha that's deadly! And so very true. People used to have this image of meeting people on the internet as only being done by sad losers which is not the case at all. Stuff like that is soooo not taboo anymore.

Mrs_Doyle

OP I can kinda see where your coming from.
On Saturday I'm gonna go to the beers, with my boyfriend, who is also a boards user.

When my mam asks me where I'm going, I am going to lie to her and tell her that I'm going out with some college friends. Why?
Well because she has never used a computer and is absolutely convinced that only bad can come from the Internet.
If I told her I was going to meet some Internet people she would think I was a total nut case, and would probably fear for me safety.

So if I was to tell her I had just met a bloke via text, she would probably be of the same opinion.

However, if I was going out with my BF a couple of years, and then told her, she would either, A) be cool with it, or be absolutely certain we are both total weirdos and must know we're total weirdo's, because otherwise we would have been more honest about our get together from the beginning.

Caliden

seansouth wrote:

Hang on a second.

Everyone saying 'it's so cute, shouldn't be an issue' or 'zomg I thought it was something really bad when I read the title' aren't really helping the OP.

This IS an issue for her, like it or not, it's why she opened the thread I'd imagine.

Look OP, chances that the families will discuss this I'd say are slim at their first meeting, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Later down the line, if one of your fiancé's family does happen to mention it to one of yours, and then they happen to say it to you, sure you'll be embarrassed. But these people are your family, I'm sure they won't take you out to hang you at dawn or anything.

They'll more than likely react like everyone else in this thread, and it will then become a non-issue.

The other option is for you to 'come clean', so to speak, but I see no need tbh. It's a little white lie that's harming no-one.

The reason it's an issue for her is because she's afraid of what people will think. What their opinion will be and the replies telling her it's cute would be exactly what I owuld be looking for in her situation. Reassurance that's it's not wierd or strange but in fact very romantic compared to meeting in a pub

pclancy

I met my last g/f over the net and theres nothing wrong with it at all!!! at leat you get to know somebody better then you would if u just met in a crowded pub/club!!!

Im sure your family will be fine about it....just dont lie to people close to you, they have your best interests at heart-if you're happy they'll be too!

Dark Artist

I think the story of how you met is really cool. Quite an amazing story actually!

Pigman II

OP just send your parents a text message intimating that you have been lying to them for the past 3 years. If they get angry just pretend it was a message for someone else.

King of Kings

i met my ex when i was a doorman and broke up a fight between her mate and another girl....classy stuff
but we were together for about 6 years and had fun telling the story

Mr. Incognito

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070409/od_nm/britain_text_dc

You're not the only one it seems.

Chinafoot

I met my boyfriend through this very website and we're moving in together this month (all going well). I understand that it can be a bit awkward admitting how we met. My parents, a bit like Mrs. Doyle's mam, would think I was nuts if I said I met him through a website, so I told them I met him in a pub...which is true. I just didn't mention the months of chatting before hand. My friends know how we met and so do my sisters, they really don't see anything wrong with it.

OP, I honestly don't think anyone will care at this stage how you met. You're both happy and you're getting married! Like another poster said, all your family should care about is that you are happy.

hairyfairy00

OP when i met my fiance he was married, i didn't know at the time but he eventually told me. I found it very very hard to tell my parents but i did a few months later. Yes they were mad as hell but they soon saw how happy we were together. I'm sure your parents will see how happy you and your fiance are and how you met won't be a problem, look on the bright side you'll always have a good story to tell your children in the future about how you met their father.

LegacyUser

'

tallyho(e)! wrote:

i am with my Fiance just over 3 years

Hes a wonderful man and the love of my life.We met when i was 18- he was 21 and have been together ever since.

However I have been lying to my friends/family for the last 3 years about how we met.

They all think we met in the pub during a footy game. We actually met by mistake-I text him by acc and we got talking etc - eventually met and fell in love etc.I have never told anyone this and I asked him not to. Im ashamed of how we met-It sounds so patehic-Like meeting someone over the internet only worse.

But he told his parents from the off how we met- and this weekend our parents are meeting for the first time.Im so paranoid that someone will bring up how we met!

I will die!

i dont think there is anything wrong with meeting someone over the internet -- i met my partner that way nearly 7 yrs ago and we are still together -- so it not pathetic ---'

r3nu4l

My advice is to have dinner/lunch with your parents and witha smiling face, say, 'Remember when I told you how we first met? Well, it's not the full story. I got a text message one day from someone I didn't know so I text him back to say "wrong number" and he replied saying sorry and I text him back and it went back and forth until one evening we arranged to meet in a safe, public place. The rest is history". Finish with a smile.

As with everyone else, I think this is pretty cool and it does have the sound of destiny/fate to it. :cool:

It could be worse, I knew a couple who were engaged to be married and I asked them how they met. She told me, "I was at a barricade on the St. Patricks Day parade and he was the other side in his Civil Defence uniform, a woman behind me passed out and hejumped the barricade to get to her but hit me full in the face with his boots!"

dixiefly

Is the OP for real? The reason that I ask the question is that they open up a thread and seem concerned about the issue and then do not recognise or comment on the very genuine responses received.
And also, unless they have been cocooned for years they must realise that this is a non issue and is an ineresting way of meeting.

I would be more concerned as to how the OP reacts when REAL PROBLEMS come along!

davyjose

moonbeam1976 wrote:

'

i dont think there is anything wrong with meeting someone over the internet -- i met my partner that way nearly 7 yrs ago and we are still together -- so it not pathetic ---'

I think there is very definitely a stigma against meeting people in a way that isn't considered the 'norm'. It's a pity that is the case - you can meet someone in a bar and that is ok, but if, for instance, you meet someone on myspace.com, it's not. When you think about that the logic isn't really there.
Recently there was a thread about a guy who was distressed because a girl he met online had interfered in his(and I quote) "real" relationship. He was then told, basically that he should "cop on and get a life" and basically scorned because he couldn't meet someone in real life. But that is hugely short-sighted. How you meet someone is not the point, it's that you did. And the very best love is borne not out of drunken sex after a club, but genuine interest in that person for reasons other than (and yes, of course including) sex.
I say this to defend the Original poster, in a way - she knows that there is nothing illicit, pathetic, strange with how she has met her love (and yes, the word love!!! How many people have you met in a bar that you can associate the word 'Love' with?), but people with narrow, closed minds might. And let's be honest, we don't live in a country which encourages freedom of spirit.
I understand how she got herself in a position where she had to lie. The lie wasn't made when they were close and in love - it was made when they were new and probably unsure themselves, about what they were doing was a good idea. So it would be natural to be economical with the truth, until the right moment to tell the truth. Maybe it just never really arrived.

stovelid

You must have very little going on if you worry about stuff like this.

IMO, it was a great way to meet. Something different and I would enjoy telling people.

P.S Am I the only one who thinks that the smileys are a bit evil looking?

LegacyUser

'I don't see how this can be a problem.'