Farting while having a blowjob

King Among Men

Discuss.

connundrum

I'm against this motion.

Karl Hungus

I'm against this moron.

hiscan

King Among Men wrote:

Discuss.

what put that in your head?

FlutterinBantam

In my opinion it would be extremely bad manners to fart while getting a blowjob.

I would also have to say ,however ,that the blower would have to be quite poor at the job to elicit that response.

In my experience,farting is the last thing on one's mind in the aforementioned situation,and all concentration would be ,or should be,at the front end.

To wrap up I would say that this situation would be quite unusual and that the OP has an unhealthy prurient interest ,and his/her level of responsibility must be called into question.

Duff

I concur.

brianthebard

I imagine if the blower realised that they were going to get a face full of methane then they may attempt to plug the leak to stop it. Do you want that OP??

kmick

Down with this kind of thing. However there is a well known sexual practice in hollywood which big stars are fond of asking groupies to do. Its called a blump. Its one step on from farting. BJ+dump=Blump. Down with this sort of thing also.

MarkR

You choose this as your hellp to boards? :rolleyes:

As for the topic, bad idea if you ever wanted another one.

FlutterinBantam

kmick wrote:

Down with this kind of thing. However there is a well known sexual practice in hollywood which big stars are fond of asking groupies to do. Its called a blump. Its one step on from farting. BJ+dump=Blump. Down with this sort of thing also.

Hmmm... steady on there son. Could be something in that......;)

ferdi

its a good way to get some quality time with palm.

Dragan

Does anyone else think the word "having" implies the OP is giving a blow job?

So it's kind of a new perspective on the whole thing, tales from the other side so too speak.

ferdi

yeah i've never heard of anyone 'having' a bj...getting or giving...

Saruman

I once farted on my wifes back while giving her a massage

FlutterinBantam

Thank you for that information.

On a similar note- why is it called a blowjob when there is little or no blowing involved?

MOTHERTRUCKER

This happened to a "friend" of mine at college.
They were both absolutely plastered and when she went down
on him he said she was given it loads.
So at the point of climax he couldn't control him self and shot the load
and uncontrollably farted. "In her face".
Because she had her mouth full at the time, of course she had to breath through her nose, so experianced the full whack of it. IMHO I think it takes a couple of seconds at least to seep outward.
But she instinctly pulled away and started puking all over the carpet in the room.

Now, strange as it may seem, she went to the toilet, cleaned herself up.
(Not the sick)
And went back to bed with him. And the morning after they did the wild thing again. "less the farting".

Now we have never figured out why she didn't just leave after getting sick.
We have it narrowed down to a few things:
(1.) She had no money for a taxi.
(2.) It was freezing cold night in Dec.
(3.) He got his bit and now she wanted hers.
(4.) She was too pi$$ed.
(5.) It was a turn on.
(6.) She was an absolute desperate dirt bird.

I think it was the latter because they never seen each other again.

But god do we have a laugh about it. We used to say to him, with lips like hers no wonder she knowed the wind out of ya!

Its funny cos its true.

Personally i've cum very close to doing it myself on certain occasions.
I think its something to do with the certain rush of adrenelin and then relaxation all in the one.
I'd say the likes of Anna nicole Smith, Catherine Ceta Jones, Debbie Daniels and other girls who date older men have all had their fair share of farts in the face.

Hagar

I'm lost for words.

FlutterinBantam

Please tell me something.... How can you fart in somebodys FACE when getting a BJ???

I mean isn't your hole pointing the other way

If a bloke did this ..i'd "accidently" bite down

word of warning lad's

MOTHERTRUCKER

FlutterinBantam wrote:

Please tell me something.... How can you fart in somebodys FACE when getting a BJ???

I mean isn't your hole pointing the other way

I suppose it all depends on the proximity of her face to the groin. Sure if he was well hung she'd be up near his chest. I suppose he must have been under developed - or she could have been licking his testicles.

Ah could you imagine she could probably feel the wind hitting her face.

An inncident that happen to me years ago while on holidays in Greece involved me going back to an appartment with a young derry lass that i met on a night out.
We were doing the wild thing for about 20 mins and i asked her to go down on me, so she did, but she came back up about 30 secs later. I asked whats the matter
She replied: "I'm in me rags". :eek:
I looked at her and her mouth was covered in blood :eek:

Now no matter how drunk i was that night, i still can't get that image out of my head.
Lord help us and save us.

jester77

FlutterinBantam wrote:

Please tell me something.... How can you fart in somebodys FACE when getting a BJ???

I mean isn't your hole pointing the other way

Well, if ye are 69ing and she's DTing then her nose will be lingering over your sack in very close proximity to your hole!

jester77

MOTHERTRUCKER wrote:

An inncident that happen to me years ago while on holidays in Greece involved me going back to an appartment with a young derry lass that i met on a night out.
We were doing the wild thing for about 20 mins and i asked her to go down on me, so she did, but she came back up about 30 secs later. I asked whats the matter
She replied: "I'm in me rags". :eek:
I looked at her and her mouth was covered in blood :eek:

Now no matter how drunk i was that night, i still can't get that image out of my head.
Lord help us and save us.

Not the best time for her to remember she was on the rag :eek:
Hope you got a change of sheets the next day and weren't stuck with those for the week!

DJ_Spider

[/QUOTE]
She replied: "I'm in me rags". :eek:
I looked at her and her mouth was covered in blood :eek:

[/QUOTE]

If SHE was on her rags, how did SHE get blood on her mouth? Maybe I should get this girls phone number if she can bend that way?!!! :eek:

jester77

If SHE was on her rags, how did SHE get blood on her mouth? Maybe I should get this girls phone number if she can bend that way?!!! :eek:

Ah now, I know we are a lazy bunch here... but just think about it...

bolliwoodi

its rude and ignorant

my bf did it b4 and got a punch for it

Hagar

Oh...

MOTHERTRUCKER

[/QUOTE]

If SHE was on her rags, how did SHE get blood on her mouth? Maybe I should get this girls phone number if she can bend that way?!!! :eek:[/QUOTE]


Jesus, read the post properly!
She's not some sort of vampire.

I wonder what experiances all the brothers out there have had with having sex with a women who's on the rag?
I remember once, when we were on a weekend away one of the lads scored and went off with this bird.
The next day at breakfast he turned up looking the worse for wear...
we all asked "well how'd you get on last night with the bird?"
Did you sink the pink?
He just lifted up his hand and showed us all this blood embeded under his nail on his finger, "YEAH BUT SHE WAS IN HER RAGS".
As you can imagine it put me straight off my black pudding.

So what do the brothers do in these situations because some wimmen can get extremely horny during the Blob / (i hate that word but its so funny when you say it to a woman)?
Condom / no condom / leave it / take what you can /
does it bother ye at all?

A Primal Nut

FlutterinBantam wrote:

Please tell me something.... How can you fart in somebodys FACE when getting a BJ???

I mean isn't your hole pointing the other way

Maybe if the guy is standing up and the girl is at a less than 90 degree angle you could get fairly close.

j14

Deleted User wrote:

On a similar note- why is it called a blowjob when there is little or no blowing involved?

Here comes the history lesson for the day.

One theory is that the term "blow job" is a bastardisation on the old term "below job" which was used by English ladies of the night. This term was used in the late 1800's to describe the practice of going down on a gentleman.

So there you go, a bit of knowledge in the darkness.

Everyday's a school day.
J.

Mr. Presentable

Saruman wrote:

I once farted on my wifes back while giving her a massage

Nice. So long as you didn't follow through

FlutterinBantam

A Primal Nut wrote:

Maybe if the guy is standing up and the girl is at a less than 90 degree angle you could get fairly close.

Rock hard boners only do 90 degrees

Still don't get it.

She replied: "I'm in me rags".
I looked at her and her mouth was covered in blood

I'm just as confused...

CiaranC

lol, whats to be confused about? Read the post. Act it out in your head if it will help.

Hagar

CiaranC wrote:

lol, whats to be confused about? Read the post. Act it out in your head if it will help.

Don't, Sweet Jebus don't. That's how I figured out what happened.

MarkR

Think carefully about where his lad was for the first twenty minutes.

MOTHERTRUCKER

MarkR wrote:

Think carefully about where his lad was for the first twenty minutes.

Well done MarkR. I taught i explained it well.

So after everybody reading about my incident i have yet to get any response from "The Brothers" about their stance on having sex with wimmen on the blob.
Do they not care less? Do they even notice? Because personally i find it repulsive. Especially after what i went through. I think that incident scarred me for life.

So ...................... What are your views

unkel

MOTHERTRUCKER wrote:

i have yet to get any response from "The Brothers" about their stance on having sex with wimmen on the blob

A true captain is not afraid to sail the Red Sea

Karl Hungus

coolsmileygirl wrote:

If a bloke did this ..i'd "accidently" bite down

word of warning lad's

* Mental note... Remove CSG's teeth with a claw hammer before BJ.

MOTHERTRUCKER

unkel wrote:

A true captain is not afraid to sail the Red Sea

Thanks for your honesty, unkel.
Anyone else

Karl Hungus
You never commented thats strange coming from a man of great taste.

Karl Hungus

MOTHERTRUCKER wrote:

Karl Hungus
You never commented thats strange coming from a man of great taste.

Huh?

jester77

Been there too, but not something to really shout about. In the middle of getting down and dirty and she says she has to go the bathroom to remove a tampon... nice! But as was my duty I donned my cap and ahoy!

But at least she remembered

ferdi

MOTHERTRUCKER wrote:

So after everybody reading about my incident i have yet to get any response from "The Brothers" about their stance on having sex with wimmen on the blob.
Do they not care less? Do they even notice? Because personally i find it repulsive.

Its grand imo. dont be such a bloody pussy.

i'll get my coat.

cance

ferdi wrote:

Its grand imo. dont be such a bloody pussy.

u r teh win made me lol in work you bastard.

Ah I get it now.

And yeah I've no problem at all havin a go when the painters are in. The way I see it... same mess only a different colour. I have to say though, when you take off the condom it does look fairly gruesome.

MOTHERTRUCKER

ferdi wrote:

Its grand imo. dont be such a bloody pussy.

i'll get my coat.

Classic.

DublinWriter

jester77 wrote:

Not the best time for her to remember she was on the rag

I believe the politically correct term for that these days is "up on bricks".