300 Reasons why God exists

Scofflaw

A handy little reference. Thye should be numbered, though, for better shorthand references in posts - I definitely need these two numbered:

ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN EXPERTS ARE IGNORED
(1) Dembski, Behe and Plantinga are ignored by mainstream intellectuals
(2) Only a fear of the truth could explain this.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN EXPERTS ARE NOT IGNORED
(1) Mainstream intellectuals are paying some attention to Dembski, Behe and Plantinga.
(2) Only a growing recognition of the truth could explain this.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

OK - and this one:

ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.

cordially,
Scofflaw

Beruthiel

LOL
Don't you just love the 'logic' behind all that

Dades

They are up there with Bluewolf's sig.
Bluewolf?

Ciaran500

ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

o_O

pH

ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL SANITY
(1) I've had religious experiences that can't be explained unless I'm insane or God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

OctavarIan

ARGUMENT FROM UNTRANSLATED OLD FRENCH
(1) « Mais pourceque j'avois déjà connu en moi très clairement que la nature intelligente est distincte de la corporelle; considérant que toute composition témoigne de la dépendance, et que la dépendance est manifestement un défaut, je jugeois de là que ce ne pouvoit être une perfection en Dieu d'être composé de ces deux natures, et que par conséquent il ne l'étoit pas; mais que s'il y avoit quelques corps dans le monde, ou bien quelques intelligences ou autres natures qui ne fussent point toutes parfaites, leur être devoit dépendre de sa puissance, en telle sorte quelles ne pouvoient subsister sans lui un seul moment. » -- René Descartes, Discours de la Méthode
(2) How could you possibly refute that?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

Asiaprod

The Atheist wrote:

They are up there with Bluewolf's sig.
Bluewolf?

That is one of my favourites. Has anyone noticed that all the best sigs come from the ladies! I owe Beru for one of mine.

<runs away, duckings the stones. Made it, Therefore, God exists.:)>

Zombrex

ARGUMENT FROM INSANITY
(1) No sane person could have thought up Christianity
(2) Therefore, it must be true
(3) Therefore, God exists

rofl

I know it is a piss take, but the scary thing is how close some of these get to arguments that theists actually use

matrim

Another great one here.

ARGUMENT FROM BRUTE FORCE
(1) [Christian tears Darwin Fish off car, breaks it in thirds, sticks it to driver's side window.]
(2) Therefore, the theory of evolution is wrong.
(3) Therefore, creationism is right.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

Scofflaw

Wicknight wrote:

I know it is a piss take, but the scary thing is how close some of these get to arguments that theists actually use

Sure - I'd actually consider it satirical, rather than just a piss-take (although some of the arguments are just piss-takes). I definitely recognise several of these 'arguments', such as:

MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

plus

ARGUMENT FROM A BAD TRIP
(1) I went to a party and took LSD.
(2) I saw demons attacking me.
(3) Then Jesus came and drove the demons away.
(4) So I joined the Assemblies of God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

...which we've had from a recent poster. Also, the sheer number of times we've seen this one:

ARGUMENT FROM EQUAL VALUE (PC argument II)
(1) Evolution and the scientific worldview is a worldview. Similarly, the biblical worldview is a worldview.
(2) You are not discriminating against our worldview are you?
(3) The Biblical worldview is as good as the scientific worldview.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

is legion - as they say.

And whose favourite argument is this:

ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (2?)
(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exist.

does anyone recognise this argument?

cordially,
Scofflaw

stevejazzx

Argument from fear

1) If there is no God people will be encouraged to sin, and their crimes will become greater and greater until the end. People would become morally unobliged and the world would fall apart litreally overnight.
2) If there is no God then, when I die, my corspe will just rot in the ground, worms will eat my flesh and no soul will leave my body.
3)If there no God then everything is just random. I might die tomorrow. Childern might die in a bus crash. new born babies might just stop breathing. Life would be merely chance without any grand purpose.

Conclusion: There is purpose in my life. I don't sin and am morally rigtheous. There must be meaning in life, look at the beauty of nature.
I believe in a soul becasue I'm afraid of death.

there there is a god.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Asiaprod wrote:

That is one of my favourites. Has anyone noticed that all the best sigs come from the ladies! I owe Beru for one of mine.

<runs away, duckings the stones. Made it, Therefore, God exists.:)>

nonsense, my sig pwnz all your sigs combined

Sangre

ARGUEMENT FROM THE GNOMES
1) Collect underpants
2) ?????
3) Profit
4) Therefore God exists.

Scofflaw I certainly recognise the last arguement from the christianity forum, perhaps the most impossible to argue against.

Snickers Man

I'm most convinced by the "Eric Clapton is God" one.

Beruthiel

Asiaprod wrote:

I owe Beru for one of mine.

Have you worked out the mysteries of the fluff yet?

Belly button fluff is always blue
Surely that's not possible?
Therefore god exists

Asiaprod

Beruthiel wrote:

Have you worked out the mysteries of the fluff yet?

Belly button fluff is always blue
Surely that's not possible?
Therefore god exists

:eek:

bonkey

Snickers Man wrote:

I'm most convinced by the "Eric Clapton is God" one.

Nonsense.

Even Nigel Kennedy knows its really Paul McGrath who is God.

magicbastarder

SURREALIST ARGUMENT
1. filigree spiders
2. evil manifests itself as a dripping tap
3. exploding horses
4. therefore god exists

coffee_cake

The Atheist wrote:

They are up there with Bluewolf's sig.
Bluewolf?

Just saw this thread!
Mine is very much my own, not a quote

Byrno

ARGUMENT FROM FIDEISM (aka Martin Gardner's argument)
(1) Atheists are absolutely right. There is no logical reason to believe God exists.
(2) But he makes me feel good anyway.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

It's scary how often this is used!

The Gnome

Sangre wrote:

ARGUEMENT FROM THE GNOMES
1) Collect underpants
2) ?????
3) Profit
4) Therefore God exists.

Excellent.

Scofflaw

The Gnome wrote:

Sangre wrote:

ARGUEMENT FROM THE GNOMES
1) Collect underpants
2) ?????
3) Profit
4) Therefore God exists.

Excellent.

You're totally objective, of course...

cordially,
Scofflaw

bonkey

Scofflaw wrote:

You're totally objective, of course...

Therefore proving that God exists!!!

Zillah

ARGUMENT FROM EXISTENTIAL ANGST
1) I really want a reason for existence.
2) God gives me a reason for existence.
3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM MORALITY
1) If God didn't exist we'd all be out raping and murdering right now.
2) We are not all out raping and murdering right now.
3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM THE BLUEWOLF
1) If we don't know the answer to something the answer is God.
2) Someone stole the cookies from the cookie jar, but we don't know who.
3) Therefore, God exists.


The first two I have seen seriously deployed in arguments countless times. The last one less so

coffee_cake

Zillah wrote:

ARGUMENT FROM EXISTENTIAL ANGST
1) I really want a reason for existence.
2) God gives me a reason for existence.
3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM MORALITY
1) If God didn't exist we'd all be out raping and murdering right now.
2) We are not all out raping and murdering right now.
3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM THE BLUEWOLF
1) If we don't know the answer to something the answer is God.
2) Someone stole the cookies from the cookie jar, but we don't know who.
3) Therefore, God exists.


The first two I have seen seriously deployed in arguments countless times. The last one less so

Aww I get my own argument
It's actually been used on gaiaonline debates a few times, there was one point I seemed to see people quoting me left right and centre, that was flattering

bubonicus

NON-ARGUMENT
1) Faith exists.
2) Who am i to question someone's beliefs.
3) therefore, Their god exists

Zillah

Oh, ooh, my new favourite from the list:

REID’S ARGUMENT
(1) You assume that your senses are reliable even though you can’t prove it.
(2) That means I get to assume anything I want.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

coffee_cake

ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we're all going to die.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists -- it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

lol. Funny and yet I think those have cropped up in the christianity forum.

I'd probably end up quoting half the list as my "favourites"...

ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

Sound familiar, anyone...?

fobster

(1) This one made me think.

ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS
(1) Millions and millions of people believe in God.
(2) They can't all be wrong, can they?
(3) Therefore, God exists.


(2) This one made me laugh

ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY
(1) God exists, you bastards!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

















(3) Therefore, God exists.

Seriously though the first one is probably one of the usual reasons people give for agruing that God exists.

Valmont

Scofflaw wrote:

ARGUMENT FROM A BAD TRIP
(1) I went to a party and took LSD.
(2) I saw demons attacking me.
(3) Then Jesus came and drove the demons away.
(4) So I joined the Assemblies of God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

...which we've had from a recent poster.

That is Brilliant. The Lord does work in mysterious drug induced ways.

DinoBot

One that I hear quite alot

(1) God is good
(2) Good things happen
(3) Therefore, God exists.