So this is the last day of my twenties....

LegacyUser

Hi,

I guess this is going to seem like a silly post compared to some on here. I will be 30 tommorrow and I am dreading it so much its unreal.

I am young at heart and I tend to feel more at ease in the company of people in their early to mid-twenties.

I have underachieved in most areas of my life (education, work, money and women) and I never really got to enjoy my twenties like I should have.

And now tommorrow I will be thirty! Its scares the hell out of me. I should be comfortable in my life at this stage. I should have the house, the woman, a good education behind me and a decent pay cheque.

I tend to be attracted to girls a good bit younger than me but obviously to girls in their early to mid twenties for the most part wouldn't touch me. Not just because of my age but because of what I explained earlier.

I have been drinking alot more lately which is worrying as I can't afford it. I don't drink alot, maybe 3-4 pints a night but it has become 3-4 nights a week lately. Also I haven't been eating properly. I have often gone day or two without food or with just a cracker for breakfast. I have collapsed twice in the last week which I am not sure if thats related or not.

Anyway, I kind of went off the point I was trying to make. I am dreading getting older when I feel alot younger. I've missed out on alot of opportunities that really only come your way in your twenties and I feel I am leaving things behind.

Sorry about this rant!

Thanks for reading.

Beruthiel

GettinOld wrote:

I guess this is going to seem like a silly post compared to some on here. I will be 30 tommorrow and I am dreading it so much its unreal.

Why?
It's just another day you know.
Yes, it's the end of your twenties, you're offically no longer a kid, that stuff goes through your head, but, that's it. So what.

I am young at heart and I tend to feel more at ease in the company of people in their early to mid-twenties.

Nothing wrong with that, I feel at ease with anyone who is cool, no matter what age they happen to be.

I have underachieved in most areas of my life (education, work, money and women) and I never really got to enjoy my twenties like I should have.

Why not?
If your twenties were crap, then you thirties can only be better.
I am of the opinion it's a great decade, I found it to be fantastic compared to any decade before it.

I should have the house

Who said you should?

the woman, a good education behind me and a decent pay cheque.

If that's what you want, then make an actual effort to get it. Those sort of things don't come to your door wrapped up in a nice ribbon.

I tend to be attracted to girls a good bit younger than me but obviously to girls in their early to mid twenties for the most part wouldn't touch me. Not just because of my age but because of what I explained earlier.

Then you are going for the wrong type of women.

I have been drinking alot more lately which is worrying as I can't afford it. I don't drink alot, maybe 3-4 pints a night but it has become 3-4 nights a week lately.

Stop then and do something else.

Also I haven't been eating properly.

Well eat properly then

It's clear from your post that you are feeling very sorry for yourself. Well, snap out of it.
Any 60 year old you meet will tell you that you're only a spring chicken yet. You now have come to an age were you are still young and have enough experience under your belt to have an idea what you want.
In your case you seem to know what that is, so just go do it.
Don't worry about getting old, you could be run over by a bus tomorrow. Live for today and work towards tomorrow, make it as happy a place to be as you can.
Feeling sorry for yourself will get you no where and is a useless emotion and a waste of your time.

tbh

you're only as young as you feel

30 is the new 21

looking forward at 30 it seems old, looking back it seems young


and so on.

Don't worry OP. We all freak out from time to time. Seize the day, and all that.

little lady

We all get older every day, it’s no big deal

Should have the house, the woman, a good education behind me and a decent pay cheque.

Who said you should? Society? If that’s what you want then go get it. You are only 30, that is not old, it’s not even close to old. You can still get all these things; it’s amazing how quickly you can change your life around when you put your mind to it.

Drinking more and eating less is not going to help or improve your situation. Try sitting down and deciding what you want and then aim to get it. You don’t have to try for everything at once; start small and work your way up. You will be amazed that once you start making positive changes everything you want starts to fall into place

And remember 30 IS NOT OLD.

lady_j

GettinOld wrote:

I should have the house, .

I think that applies to practically everyone under 40. If you had a house you would be drowning debt, and lets face it giving the housing market here you probably would remain so for the rest of your life! Perhaps you've made the right step putting off that!

In terms of women, you are probably attracted to younger women because they are on the same wavelength as them? Thats not a crime!!!

It sounds however that you want to change, and that is very possible. Forget about the house for the minute and and try and figure out what you want to change. Could be small things like taking 10% of your wage and saving it, or go out one night less a week to improve health. Whatever it is make it your goals not what you think someone your age should be doing!

Marksie

Beruthiel wrote:

.Live for today and work towards tomorrow, make it as happy a place to be as you can.
Feeling sorry for yourself will get you no where and is a useless emotion and a waste of your time.

I heard a saying, live like you have only three years left.

House, job, woman and what do you do when you get them? My guess is wonderd where all your freedom went.

Stop looking inward and start looking outward.

As beruthiel said the thirties are great, forties even better. All the crap is put into place, you learn what is and isn't important. To be in and of yourself, to live openly or as a regular poster said.. living consciuosly.

So, you are thirty, no ties, free... what are YOU going to do about it? Travel, live, breath, Go to college improve yourself..what..what do you want to do?

and you are scared, and an under.... achiever one leads to another. Face the fact you can be scared all your life if you want to and not live.

Or you can take the jump into the future and enjoy the ride as some of the best rides invlove being scared and ocercoming it.

I will leave you with the thoughts of a friend of mine who is sixty: "i am like my garden gate, unhinged but still swinging"

EDIt: i just saw your last line about opportunities that only occur in your 20s, Complete B/S, you can do EVERYTHING you could in your 20s when you are older, just better thats all

LegacyUser

Thanks for the responses,

I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. I suppose once I get the bday out of the way I wont feel so bad.

I remeber being in my late teens early twenties laughing and cringing at the 30 year olds on the dance floor. Now thats me!

Beruthiel

GettinOld wrote:

I remeber being in my late teens early twenties laughing and cringing at the 30 year olds on the dance floor. Now thats me!

See, you're still thinking all wrong.
Now you can look at those teens and early twenties and laugh cos they have so much life experience to learn and have yet to get a clue. So why the hell would you care what someone like that thinks?
Seriously like

Miss Judy

Snap out of it!. I was 30 last year and it's great, it's alot nicer than the piss up infested 20's. I for one am alot more confident than I was in my twenties and alot happier and when I think back I wonder why I was so silly to think certain things.

I'm married, have the house and the kids and myself and my hubbie are lucky if we get out socially twice a year but hey who cares...you make the most of what you got. In our case we have free 24 hour entertainment thanks to 2 fantastic kids!. If you want to improve your life well take your head out of your arse and start improving it, it won't be handed to us as others have said.

Don't be under the illusion that coz you don't have "it" (whatever it is?) that it's all rosy. Life is what you make it.

By the way...EAT!!!:rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote:

See, you're still thinking all wrong.
Now you can look at those teens and early twenties and laugh cos they have so much life experience to learn and have yet to get a clue. So why the hell would you care what someone like that thinks?
Seriously like

Ah I know, I was just kidding! I am a great mover!

Aren't I supposed to start wearing grey sweaters and trousers up to my armpits now? I have to start watching the Late Late show religiously and drink lots of tea, take up gardening and maybe golf.

Miss Judy

GettinOld wrote:

Aren't I supposed to start wearing grey sweaters and trousers up to my armpits now? I have to start watching the Late Late show religiously and drink lots of tea, take up gardening and maybe golf.

-Late Late-if you are that way inclined go ahead and watch it. It's ****e just so you know.

- Tea Drinking- well being 30 I leave that up to my mother and mother in law, perhaps when I'm in my fifties I will start that!:rolleyes:

-Clothing- shocking I know but actually still shop in trendy places, now don't be thinking mutton dressed as lamb just yet!.:eek:

Don't be so silly and ignorant as to stereoptype people and their ages. People who are now in their 20's have become very anti-social and rude in comparison to myself and my friends when we were in college etc. Don't suppose you watched the Pope's children by any chance?.

CathyMoran

I have found my 30's to be far better than my 20's - am far more decisive. In the end of the day life is what you make it, you have to grab it by both hands.

445279.ie

You're life is just beginning. I'm absolutley loving my 30's

Age is just a state of mind and if you don't feel and act old you won't be old!

Happy birthday

NutJob

I had some very good friends in there early thirtys when i was 21 and they were just as young at heart as i was.

I now know 60 year olds that make me look old:D

Proof that you can be as young as you want to be its just an outlook on life

Kell

GettinOld wrote:

I guess this is going to seem like a silly post compared to some on here.

Yup its darn silly.

GettinOld wrote:

I am young at heart and I tend to feel more at ease in the company of people in their early to mid-twenties.

Quite likely because they seem like dynamic fun people unlike staid settled people who are your own age. I am 32 and most people of my own age bore the fúck out of me and have nothing to say for themselves. Things like "I am married, and sit at home most nights and my mortgage is so fúcking hi I cant afford to do jack shít let alone socialise. Ooh is that the time, must go" gets awfully dull after a while.

GettinOld wrote:

I am dreading getting older when I feel alot younger. I've missed out on alot of opportunities that really only come your way in your twenties and I feel I am leaving things behind.

Dont. My life took off a 30. The average dying age in this country is over 80 therefore you have more than 1/2 your life left to live. I have never had it better and so long as you think you are young, you are.

K-

seamus

The age of the average first time buyer is still 31 in this country. So don't think that you're way behind.

You can't really measure your success in life against that of your contemporaries. Everyone takes a different path, so to think that you should be doing the same thing as the guy next door just because you're 30 and so is he, is just plain silly. There is a subset of people who manage to be millionaires before they hit twenty. Should the rest of us measure our own success against theirs?

Most men of any age are "attracted" to women in their late teens early twenties. They're young and firm. But you'll probably find that they're not much use for relationships. To say that they're not interested in you is just self-deprecation. These three paragraphs...

I have underachieved in most areas of my life (education, work, money and women) and I never really got to enjoy my twenties like I should have.

I tend to be attracted to girls a good bit younger than me but obviously to girls in their early to mid twenties for the most part wouldn't touch me. Not just because of my age but because of what I explained earlier.

I have been drinking alot more lately which is worrying as I can't afford it. I don't drink alot, maybe 3-4 pints a night but it has become 3-4 nights a week lately. Also I haven't been eating properly. I have often gone day or two without food or with just a cracker for breakfast. I have collapsed twice in the last week which I am not sure if thats related or not.

...could have been written (and have been written) by anyone, of any age. Turning thirty has nothing to do with these things. And neither is it a barrier to changing them.

As said already, 30 is the new 21. It's more than acceptable these days to be a 30-something who's just enjoying life and not settling down. In fact it's more than acceptable to be a fourty or fifty-something partygoes.

veryslowey

for god sake

Miss Judy

veryslowey wrote:

for god sake

Cake Fiend

You sound like an awful whiner tbh (probably more of a reason you don't have a girlfriend than the other possibilities). I think you should make a list of all the things you wish you had done in your twenties, and start doing them in your thirties. Then, when you hit your forties, you won't have the same regrets you do now.

Hitting thirty is not the same as it was a few decades ago.

tbh

Cake Fiend wrote:

You sound like an awful whiner tbh

hey!

seriously, lads, lay off the op a bit. Some of us may find that problem a bit trivial, but we all are affected by different things in different ways. Some people freak out about going bald, others couldn't give a hoot. I'm sure once the OP is settled in his comfortable slippers and cardie tomorrow with a morsel of cake and a well-stoked pipe, he'll be grand.

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Sarn

tbh wrote:

settled in his comfortable slippers and cardie tomorrow with a morsel of cake and a well-stoked pipe, he'll be grand.

Cheek, there's nothing wrong with getting comfortable with something sweet (although the pipe would be a bit much).

OP take this opportunity to see what you want to change and set about doing it. As pointed out above, we can all find something we don't like about ourselves no matter what our age, it's doing something about it that matters.

I hit thirty last year and thankfully wasn't bothered with it. Got no house, no woman, but I'm healthy and happy and will sort out the loose ends in due course.

LegacyUser

'Well, maybe I am a whinner and maybe that is the reason I don't have a woman and some of the others things lacking in my life.

I'm not bothered about women at the moment. I'm just going through a bad patch. I don't think its entirely unusual for somebody to dread hitting 30. I am sure I will freak out when I am 39 too.

I'm sure a couple months into it I wont care.'

The Sweeper

Happy birthday tomorrow, by the way.

veryslowey

yeh hapy birthday have a grate dat

Hal1

Im 30 this day week it doesnt bother me, some ppl think it does and keep on reminding me about it. Fcuk it, no use crying about it now.

wexford12

My birthday also tomorrow wake up with a smile and enjoy the day would be a lot worse if you knew that it was your last birthday shake yourself and stand up and cop on lol im a few years older and to be honest when your 30 its no different than been 29 but you will find that out tomorrow.And have a happy birthday

Blisterman

Christ, you're a thirty year old guy. There's nothing to stop you going after 20 year old girls.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys!

I think I will try to enjoy the day! I went out for a few pints tonight to say goodbye to my twenties! (Fair well, I will miss you)

I will no doubt have a few pints tommorrow after work to celebrate a new era!

davyjose

Happy Birthday

Snail30

Happy Birthday!

LegacyUser

'Thanks guys!

So today is the day! I am offically old! I am nearly sure I spotted some grey hairs through my bleary eyes while brushing my hair in the mirror this morning.

But fear not the sun is starting to shine. I am going out for a big feck-off steak later with some tasty and well earned pints!'

veryslowey

wejdie!!!

seamus

GettinOld wrote:

I am nearly sure I spotted some grey hairs through my bleary eyes while brushing my hair in the mirror this morning.

Don't worry about it. I'm 24 and I have grey hairs and bleary eyes

veryslowey

gross

Saintly

Sounds like turning 30 has made you reflect on what's actually going on in your life - that's a good thing!! Be fair to yourself, don't try to box yourself into what you think a 30 year should be. Decide what makes you happy. First off, I think there is huge pressure in Ireland to conform - buy a car, buy a house, try skiing etc. The whole concept of home ownership and settling down is so strong - I have been living abroad for the last six months and it was has very refreshing to live with a different perspective.

I am 29, am not a homeowner, am not in a relationship and have, as my mother kindly reminds me from time to time, a ticking biological clock!! Now, I can sit and define myself to death as I turn 30 later this year - or I can look at what I've actually done SO FAR in my life and what's important to me as I turn 30 - I have a happy, healthy family. I am healthy, I have studied, have a good career, have travelled and read, have fantastic friends and I try to be a decent person.

More importantly, I still have dreams!! Lots of them - about travelling and learning another language and possibly studying again. If the evasive Mr Right turns up, fantastic. If I find that I want my own bricks and mortar, then I will invest in property. What are your dreams? How do you define yourself? If your hero is some twisted 21 year old full of Bacardi breezers throwing shapes on the dancefloor, then, you may have trouble adjusting to the concept of turning 30. I loved my 20's but turning 30, I'm confident, happy and consider myself lucky. Hope as the fear fades, you feel the same!

Saintly.

Dudess

GettinOld wrote:

I am offically old!

I remember a few years ago when my flatmate turned 23, that's exactly what she said. As far as I know, there is no "officially old" age. Maybe 70 - and you're a small bit off that yet. Just a small bit.

mari9464

It's just another number. I'm 27, my early 20s had good and bad bits, but for the most part I was confused and uncertain. I am a lot more sure of who I am and where I am going now than at 21 or even 23. I have heard a lot of people say the same as they get older. I also realised I didn't owe they world a favour anymore. And I dont have the perfect job, house etc. happiness is a state of mind.