Totally screwed up relationship

LegacyUser

Hi im going out with a girl and its turning into one wierd relationship!! This is a very long and detailed post but i just wanted to give readers an idea of my situation and hopefully advise me because neither of us have ever been in a proper relationship for this length of time.

Im 25 and my girlfriend is 20. I met her in Tramco just before the Christmas, through a mutual friend and ended up kissing and getting on really well. I didnt really speak to her then for a few days until she and a friend came down to Co Wexford where i ended up spending christmas this year. Her friend has ties to Co Wexford as i do which is how i got to know her.

Anyway we argued the first night down in Wexford, playing mind games with each other and ended up fighting over it, so didnt really do anything that night. The second night then we hooked up properly and went to some 21st in a hotel in the village in Wexford. Its a really rural spot and as soon as we walked in the door she was surrounded by a pack of hungry locals pratically drooling on top of her. To make it worse she is a real flirt and LOVES the attention and encourages it to the last. I could'nt really do anything about it cause i was on my own down there, and as it was i was on the verge of getting started on just because i was a new face around the place. Also there was about a ratio of 50males:1female in the place.

So anyway she was back and fourth between me and getting chatted up by the locals who didnt seem to be the slightest bit fazed that she was with me, even though we werent actually going out or anything at this stage. So i put up with it for about an hour before i just walked off and went down home. She was txting me then saying why did i leave her up there, even though i didnt because she was with her friend. So she ended up getting a lift back into the town they were staying in with her friend and two lads.

So we met up then on the second of January when i was back in Dublin and almost as soon as we met she told me she had been with one of the lads in the car while her friend was with the other. She said she wanted me to know this, to be honest about things and plus the fact that i would have problady found out at some stage anyway. Went back to mine and she proceeded to tell me what she done with the other fella she had gone off with which had turned out to be a handjob and she had'nt let him touch her. In fact she spent about a half an hour teasing me in detail about it and how big he was (i seriously dont know why she was telling me this, i really dont) She says she did it as punishment for me going off and leaving her there. Next thing i got a txt off another girl that i was playing at the time and she got mad with jealousy when she saw me txting her and suddenly turned into a really nice person. She stayed the night and we ended up sleeping together that night, not because she really wanted to but to be honest im quite good at getting my own way in situtations like that. Then in the morning she asked me was that just a fling or were we going out so i told her i fancied her like mad and then asked her to be my girlfriend to which she said yes!!

So first month we ended up playing serious mind games with each other, constantly trying to make the other one jealous of each other. We broke up then about a month later, mostly because of her going off with that fella in Wexford that time, which caused major damage to my ego. We were split for about 5 days in which i went down home for a weekend to clear my head, got over the whole wexford thing after convincing myself that since we werent going out she had to every right to go with your man, although under the circumstances im not sure she should have. Does anyone else agree with me??

Se got back together and everything was peachy. We opened up a little more to each other, (still a long way to go) and for a while everything was just great. Then she dropped out of college a couple of weeks ago, after doing about 6 months of an IT course and at the moment has no job or college or anything to go to. And shes after falling out with all her friends, mostly because shes so shallow and mainly thinks of herself. I dont care because i love her anyway and i guess i might be a little like that myself. So for the last week - 10 days shes just being really snappy and tired, no sex and she seemed to have gone right off me. Also she got really really insulting, i mean she used to make personal comments to me from time to time, degrading comments and lately they just got worse and more frequent. Its like she trying to knock the confidence out of me or something.

Sunday morning we were supposed to go her family christening and i was going to meet most of her family for the first time. She's always on about meeting my family!! So Saturday night was just a real disaster and we woke up Sunday morning and i told her i thought she has gone off me and i didnt want to go to the christening if we were only going to break up a couple of days later so as not to have her family thinking 'Oh did we scare him off or something'? So she told me the relationship was'nt working for her, it had gone boring (even though i constantly try and get her to do stuff with me but shes always too tired or irritable) and decided we needed to split. I asked her was it just handier for her to have a boyfriend because she was talking to none of her friends and had no job or anything to which she aggreed. I was glad she made the decesion because it means i didnt hurt her cause i care for her and hate the thought of upsetting her in any way. I didnt mind too much at the time because i had seen it coming and had started to get just a little bit sick of her moaning all the time etc.

When she was leaving then, i asked her did she want to take bob with her? Bob is a teddy dog that she got me for Valentines day. Well the way she looked at me, sort of tears in her eyes and she just seemed so vunerable and delicate my heart just melted and i realised i really did love her. She just went then, she didnt say anything cause she was crying and id tears in my eyes that i didnt want her seeing.

Then she txted me Sunday night and i said i didnt dont know what to say to ya. Then i got this message back saying she had been thinking and she was really in love with me and had just needed a push and wanted to stay with me and cry with me and laugh with me and all the rest. Now our sex life was never the greatest and she sent me a long email yesterday explaing why she is the way she is and how insecure she is. She cut herself the time i dumped her over the wexford guy. I just cant believe she did the dirt on ME!! So it was kind of nasty the way i dumped her but im sorry for doing it now. She always wears short skirts out cause shes great legs and she actually seems to need the attention she gets as a result. She told me how she was very nearly raped before, i kind of knew this anyway but had waited for her to bring it up and how that had put her off sex. Me on the other hand am just a pure hornbag and i always demand sex which i guess i should'nt. Her mother also died when she was really young so i presume that had some sort of effect on her growing up.

Shes also convinced that im a slapper and am going to cheat on her. To be honest i am good looking, and attract nice looking women, i sleep with them and then i dont know to know them anymore. But im still really really insecure even though i hide it well. As she does. But i love her and im really happy with her or at least i think i do. Ive never been with anyone this long before though so ive nothing to compare it to which is why im on boards.

Txting then last night, shes wanting to get back together saying she will make the effort and all to do stuff with me. I asked her about the fact that she had said it was handy for her to have a boyfriend and she said it was untrue and she wants to meet up Wednesday for a drink and tell me a load of stuff about her. We have a really bad communication problem, mostly because of me to be honest and we both want to make things work. She said she wants to take things slowly, as we slept together too quickly but i dont now what to do. Were both as crazy as each other which is why i think we belong together and i am really happy when im with her. I suggested that we dont txt each other all day until tomorrow just to get a bit of space and she agreed.

So can anybody see a future in this relationship? Can anybody see us working it out or are we just not right for each other. An awful long post i know but thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any feedback. Cheers All...

togster

It sounds like ye belong together. My god ye have so many issues but that seems to keep the two of ye interested. As for the future yeah i can see one but it won't be pretty. If ye are so content at playing games and hurting each other then it wont' change IMO. But look you obviously care about her so talk to her about everything you wrote in this post. I have been in similar relationships like that with mind games etc and it leads to nothing but heartache. But everyone is different and ye certainly seem different but life would be boring if we were all the same so if you really love her go for it... put your heart on the line....

LegacyUser

I think the best thing you both can do is stop the mind-games, it messes with relationships when neither of you are sure if what the other is saying is real or just a game. When you meet up with her the first thing you should say is 'I think if we can stop messing with each others heads then we can communicate more openly and honestly then this whole conversation won't be a big waste of time'. Insecure people often play mind games like a little ritual to get proof that their partner cares about them or loves them, I've been insecure for many years and used to play these mind games, then I grew up and realised the best way of knowing if your partner cares is if you are honest with them about how you feel and you usually find they become more honest with you about how they feel which eliminates the need for any games. Sorry I can't offer any more advice but honesty has to be the starting point then who knows what'll happen after that, you could go on to have a very long happy relationship.

kaizersoze123

longest post.........ever

Beruthiel

kaizersoze123 wrote:

longest post.........ever

Read this forums charter before I ban you.
B

Miss Fluff

Please_Help wrote:

Im 25 ..

FYI OP, just noticed a typo there, I presume you meant "I'm 15", right?

Ruu_Old

Stop with the mindgames and quite trying to get one over each other. I don't see a future for either of you to be honest and you are going to end up in a world of hurt unless you both change dramatically.

Please_Help

Please_Help wrote:

Hi im going out with a girl and its turning into one wierd relationship!! This is a very long and detailed post but i just wanted to give readers an idea of my situation and hopefully advise me because neither of us have ever been in a proper relationship for this length of time.

Im 25 and my girlfriend is 20. I met her in Tramco just before the Christmas, through a mutual friend and ended up kissing and getting on really well. I didnt really speak to her then for a few days until she and a friend came down to Co Wexford where i ended up spending christmas this year. Her friend has ties to Co Wexford as i do which is how i got to know her.

Anyway we argued the first night down in Wexford, playing mind games with each other and ended up fighting over it, so didnt really do anything that night. The second night then we hooked up properly and went to some 21st in a hotel in the village in Wexford. Its a really rural spot and as soon as we walked in the door she was surrounded by a pack of hungry locals pratically drooling on top of her. To make it worse she is a real flirt and LOVES the attention and encourages it to the last. I could'nt really do anything about it cause i was on my own down there, and as it was i was on the verge of getting started on just because i was a new face around the place. Also there was about a ratio of 50males:1female in the place.

So anyway she was back and fourth between me and getting chatted up by the locals who didnt seem to be the slightest bit fazed that she was with me, even though we werent actually going out or anything at this stage. So i put up with it for about an hour before i just walked off and went down home. She was txting me then saying why did i leave her up there, even though i didnt because she was with her friend. So she ended up getting a lift back into the town they were staying in with her friend and two lads.

So we met up then on the second of January when i was back in Dublin and almost as soon as we met she told me she had been with one of the lads in the car while her friend was with the other. She said she wanted me to know this, to be honest about things and plus the fact that i would have problady found out at some stage anyway. Went back to mine and she proceeded to tell me what she done with the other fella she had gone off with which had turned out to be a handjob and she had'nt let him touch her. In fact she spent about a half an hour teasing me in detail about it and how big he was (i seriously dont know why she was telling me this, i really dont) She says she did it as punishment for me going off and leaving her there. Next thing i got a txt off another girl that i was playing at the time and she got mad with jealousy when she saw me txting her and suddenly turned into a really nice person. She stayed the night and we ended up sleeping together that night, not because she really wanted to but to be honest im quite good at getting my own way in situtations like that. Then in the morning she asked me was that just a fling or were we going out so i told her i fancied her like mad and then asked her to be my girlfriend to which she said yes!!

So first month we ended up playing serious mind games with each other, constantly trying to make the other one jealous of each other. We broke up then about a month later, mostly because of her going off with that fella in Wexford that time, which caused major damage to my ego. We were split for about 5 days in which i went down home for a weekend to clear my head, got over the whole wexford thing after convincing myself that since we werent going out she had to every right to go with your man, although under the circumstances im not sure she should have. Does anyone else agree with me??

Se got back together and everything was peachy. We opened up a little more to each other, (still a long way to go) and for a while everything was just great. Then she dropped out of college a couple of weeks ago, after doing about 6 months of an IT course and at the moment has no job or college or anything to go to. And shes after falling out with all her friends, mostly because shes so shallow and mainly thinks of herself. I dont care because i love her anyway and i guess i might be a little like that myself. So for the last week - 10 days shes just being really snappy and tired, no sex and she seemed to have gone right off me. Also she got really really insulting, i mean she used to make personal comments to me from time to time, degrading comments and lately they just got worse and more frequent. Its like she trying to knock the confidence out of me or something.

Sunday morning we were supposed to go her family christening and i was going to meet most of her family for the first time. She's always on about meeting my family!! So Saturday night was just a real disaster and we woke up Sunday morning and i told her i thought she has gone off me and i didnt want to go to the christening if we were only going to break up a couple of days later so as not to have her family thinking 'Oh did we scare him off or something'? So she told me the relationship was'nt working for her, it had gone boring (even though i constantly try and get her to do stuff with me but shes always too tired or irritable) and decided we needed to split. I asked her was it just handier for her to have a boyfriend because she was talking to none of her friends and had no job or anything to which she aggreed. I was glad she made the decesion because it means i didnt hurt her cause i care for her and hate the thought of upsetting her in any way. I didnt mind too much at the time because i had seen it coming and had started to get just a little bit sick of her moaning all the time etc.

When she was leaving then, i asked her did she want to take bob with her? Bob is a teddy dog that she got me for Valentines day. Well the way she looked at me, sort of tears in her eyes and she just seemed so vunerable and delicate my heart just melted and i realised i really did love her. She just went then, she didnt say anything cause she was crying and id tears in my eyes that i didnt want her seeing.

Then she txted me Sunday night and i said i didnt dont know what to say to ya. Then i got this message back saying she had been thinking and she was really in love with me and had just needed a push and wanted to stay with me and cry with me and laugh with me and all the rest. Now our sex life was never the greatest and she sent me a long email yesterday explaing why she is the way she is and how insecure she is. She cut herself the time i dumped her over the wexford guy. I just cant believe she did the dirt on ME!! So it was kind of nasty the way i dumped her but im sorry for doing it now. She always wears short skirts out cause shes great legs and she actually seems to need the attention she gets as a result. She told me how she was very nearly raped before, i kind of knew this anyway but had waited for her to bring it up and how that had put her off sex. Me on the other hand am just a pure hornbag and i always demand sex which i guess i should'nt. Her mother also died when she was really young so i presume that had some sort of effect on her growing up.

Shes also convinced that im a slapper and am going to cheat on her. To be honest i am good looking, and attract nice looking women, i sleep with them and then i dont know to know them anymore. But im still really really insecure even though i hide it well. As she does. But i love her and im really happy with her or at least i think i do. Ive never been with anyone this long before though so ive nothing to compare it to which is why im on boards.

Txting then last night, shes wanting to get back together saying she will make the effort and all to do stuff with me. I asked her about the fact that she had said it was handy for her to have a boyfriend and she said it was untrue and she wants to meet up Wednesday for a drink and tell me a load of stuff about her. We have a really bad communication problem, mostly because of me to be honest and we both want to make things work. She said she wants to take things slowly, as we slept together too quickly but i dont now what to do. Were both as crazy as each other which is why i think we belong together and i am really happy when im with her. I suggested that we dont txt each other all day until tomorrow just to get a bit of space and she agreed.

So can anybody see a future in this relationship? Can anybody see us working it out or are we just not right for each other. An awful long post i know but thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any feedback. Cheers All...

Heya Ross.How is Sorcha?

Beruthiel

Miss Fluff wrote:

FYI OP, just noticed a typo there, I presume you meant "I'm 15", right?

Now, now, don't be mean Miss Fluff.
I totally agree with you btw, just could have been put better.
OP
It does indeed look like the behaviour of a couple of teenagers. I'd have expected by 25 that silly mind game playing should be well in the past.

To answer your question, if you carry on as you are, then no, there is no real future in a relationship like that, a body can only take so much crap.
If you intend to continue with it, then sit down and have an adult conversation about where the relationship is going and your expections from it. Cut out the childish mind games.


/edit
The_Dazzler
You're here long enough to know better.
B

dellas1979

Not demeaning the situation or anything......but that was the longest......and the hardest post to read.

I couldnt follow most of it. I get that basically ye are both playing mind games with each other.

If both of you want a relationship, quit the mind games. If she is dishonest, its on her own head. Same goes for you. At 25, you should show a bit more cop on. If she is playing mind games, you should not do the same. if you keep doing that you are encouraging this behaviour.

Oh I dunno at all.......

super_furry

Can't see any hope for either of you in the situation you described. You both seem very self-centred and far too interested in yourselves than each other. Maybe a split is for the best.

dellas1979

Deleted User wrote:

Heya Ross.How is Sorcha?

If you know the man, you couldnt spare him a bit of dignity and PM him that could you?

Beruthiel

dellas1979 wrote:

If you know the man, you couldnt spare him a bit of dignity and PM him that could you?

It's from a book dellas.
Lets keep on topic.
B

Fizman

Please_Help wrote:

Went back to mine and she proceeded to tell me what she done with the other fella she had gone off with which had turned out to be a handjob and she had'nt let him touch her. In fact she spent about a half an hour teasing me in detail about it and how big he was (i seriously dont know why she was telling me this, i really dont) She says she did it as punishment for me going off and leaving her there.

Why in Gods name would u want to get involved with a bird like that?? Complete head wreck. My best mate has a girlfriend of 3 years and she is similar....short skirts...attention lover....can't stick those birds tbh.

So can anybody see a future in this relationship? Can anybody see us working it out or are we just not right for each other. An awful long post i know but thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any feedback. Cheers All...

No i cant see either of you ever bein totally happy goin by how u described the 2 of ye. Move on

Marksie

OK.. long post and exasperating.

Key points:

Mind Games, manipulation

Ego: " i got a txt off another girl that i was playing at the time ",
"her going off with that fella in Wexford that time, which caused major damage to my ego."
"Me on the other hand am just a pure hornbag and i always demand sex."
"ended up sleeping together that night, not because she really wanted to but to be honest im quite good at getting my own way in situtations like that."

To be honest neither of you should be with anyone until you grow up.
Actually your G/friends has major issues where she may want to see a counsellor.
You are immatuire, selfish and need to alter your mindset

dellas1979

Oh I know - sorry - Ross O'Carroll-Kelly.

But on topic - if its not working for both of you, maybe its best to learn from this and leave it.

Zambia

Please stay together and dont impose yourselves on anyone else

Miss Fluff

Zambia232 wrote:

Please stay together and dont impose yourselves on anyone else

ROFL

BaZmO*

Mind Games? Really? I'd say it's more akin to Childish behaviour than Mind Games.

You're asking if it has a future? Well personally I'd have big issues with any girl that decided to "punish me" by giving some random guy a hand shandy in the back of a taxi cab and then thought it was a good idea to tell me about it. Your funeral mate!

BobTheBeat

Great post, read almost like a film script.

Like you said, its the mindgames that has pretty much caused all the hassle so far. Give it a rest. Just be up front with each other, say what you think and feel about whatever.

Christ, anyone would think you wanted to make things difficult for yourself

Give it a couple more weeks and see how you get on.

Marksie

BaZmO* wrote:

You're asking if it has a future? Well personally I'd have big issues with any girl that decided to "punish me" by giving some random guy a hand shandy in the back of a taxi cab and then thought it was a good idea to tell me about it. Your funeral mate!

Cuts both ways bazmo as the OP said in his post:

Please_Help wrote:

Next thing i got a txt off another girl that i was playing at the time and she got mad with jealousy when she saw me txting her and suddenly turned into a really nice person.

BaZmO*

marksuttonie wrote:

Cuts both ways bazmo as the OP said in his post:

Granted it's all mind games but receiving a text message from someone is a helluva lot different than what she done in the back of a cab.

Marksie

BaZmO* wrote:

Granted it's all mind games but receiving a text message from someone is a helluva lot different than what she done in the back of a cab.

Yah, but the use of the word "playing" like she was a tuba or something would indicate that it is the case of the pot and the kettle.

Red Hand

Looks like ye got alot of issues tbh. Playing around with other people isn't on. Ye should make a break.

dr.bollocko

Many people tend to labour under the assumption that everyone's ideal relationship works around the same model as their own ideal relationship.
I'll try and explain this further...
Most people cannot see how mind games, jealousy, and even cheating or cockolding can be seen as an intro or a flirt trigger for a relationship. For some people this kind of behaviour can be an intense turn on, or at the very least, forces the thought of the other person into their heads at all times. This continual puzzlement about the behaviour of an other in the relationship can often lead to intense emotional connections. Of course, ye will spend a long time masking these emotions from one another, because to admit the level to which one person loves another would lose them the power in the relationship. This can be seen in the extreme case here where ye both walked away from the relationship a number of times as well as masking your true emotions until the other confessed to similar feelings. Manipulation and being manipulated can be quite a turn-on for some people. The power struggle in this relationship seems to be what is keeping ye both interested.
And in the replies you have gotten so far, you can see how people's own relationships have tainted their view of yours. They are automatically assuming that you are childish for playing such mindgames, or that because these games exist that you are not right for each other. This stems from the fact that for the vast majority, the tender acts of love and romance, the butterflies and giddy feelings define the beginning of the relationship, and not manipulation and attempts to dominate the other emotionally / mindgames and head****s. I am not going to comment on whether or not it is childish because, frankly, Im not really qualified to do so.
As to your question of whether or not there is a future to this relationship, I would sincerely think that there is. I think this is probably one of the few times that you have felt like this about a woman in your adult life. I also think that she is reciprocating this. So I would think that ye are very similar people, and the type of romantic challenges that ye set for yourselves are quite similar. I would put it to you that women like the one you have found here are rare. Also that men with your attitude are quite rare. And finally how likely is it that you will find someone to put you through as much **** as you have been through? Surely after all that a normal, decent, lovey dovey type relationship will just seem.... boring?

King of Kings

i just don't know what to say Op
I'd tell you to finish with her cos she is crazy but as zambia said that would mean inflicting her on somebody else.
although tbh you don't sound like a super "catch" yourself.

seriously - I would have kicked her to touch for the "punishment" of describing the detail to you. If you'd done that then you would have been spared all the other grief.

LegacyUser

'Hey well thanks everyone for the responces, especially dr bolloko!! I did quite a lot of pondering over them last night. She txted me off her dad's phone about 10 o clock even though we said we would'nt txt and said 'Hey, remember me? Do ya wanna meet up for sex'? I knew it was her so i txted back 'Oh is this Emma from 2 weekends ago' lol and she went mad. But In the end we sorted it out and were going to meet up for a drink tonight and have a chat. The messages had gotten a little soppy last night by the time i said good night so id say we might get back together. So Chapter 3 begins....'

Marksie

Please_Help wrote:

She txted me off her dad's phone about 10 o clock even though we said we would'nt txt and said 'Hey, remember me? Do ya wanna meet up for sex'?

Either she has a very progressive father or make sure she deletes all messages.

King of Kings

Please_Help wrote:

'Hey well thanks everyone for the responces, especially dr bolloko!! I did quite a lot of pondering over them last night. She txted me off her dad's phone about 10 o clock even though we said we would'nt txt and said 'Hey, remember me? Do ya wanna meet up for sex'? I knew it was her so i txted back 'Oh is this Emma from 2 weekends ago' lol and she went mad. But In the end we sorted it out and were going to meet up for a drink tonight and have a chat. The messages had gotten a little soppy last night by the time i said good night so id say we might get back together. So Chapter 3 begins....'

You both are idiots. (sorry mods!!)
but he is going back for more grief and no doubt posting here in a few weeks wondering where it all went wrong

McGinty

You are both as ****ed up as each other, in the macabre sense, you are both suited to each other, enjoy your mutal sadomashcism.

gloobag

1. She sounds like a psycho.
2. You sound like a psycho.
3. Please God, don't ever let either of ye procreate.
4. And most importantly, please don't ever let me meet you in person (I'd be afraid of what I might do).

Victor

Tone it down a bit. Telling it like it is is one thing, abuse is another.

ballsofire23

Help yourself, run 6 pages away from her. Not joking, but very long and very confusing to me. I'll say two things: Call a friend and go somewhere for a bit of time away with just friends etc and don't call her. And please find another fish in the sea.

louisecm

She is not ready for a relationship and frankly neither are you if you use expressions like "playing" another girl. I've been through a lot in my life, much of which is similar to what she's gone through but that does not give me OR her the right to mistreat people.

Wait til you're ready and find someone who is also ready.

John Mason

this has got to a be a troll, seriously it cannot be real:mad:

shakaman

So after she gave some fella a handjob in a car shared with her friend and another fella goin at it, she came home to you and ye duely shared bodily fluids.

Classy chick

LegacyUser

Please_Help wrote:

'Hey well thanks everyone for the responces, especially dr bolloko!! I did quite a lot of pondering over them last night.

so i txted back 'Oh is this Emma from 2 weekends ago' lol and she went mad.

Most of the people here have advised you to stop playing games and you say you pondered over this info but went straight ahead and started playing games anyway! These are the games you really should avoid, they mess with people's minds and can often take ages for any misunderstanding to clear up, especially with two very insecure people. I understand that she started the game by texting you from her dad's phone, possibly trying to confuse you or maybe she just ran out of credit, whatever her reason you didn't need to respond by playing along with the game. 'lol and she went mad'.... Yeah, it's really funny to get someone mad, grow up.

Lust4Life

I think dr.bollocko really had the best answer of all here.
You both obviously get off on the mind games and it seems to fuel your relationship...

HOWEVER.... it really makes me wonder... a gal who will blatantly text you "Hey! Wanna have sex?" only a few paragraphs prior wanted nothing to do with sex because she had rape issues? Had "lost interest?"

Are you sure she wasn't throwing out a line to see if she couldn't hook someone better during that time? And when that didn't pan out she decided that you would suit her fine?

It's just a thought. Sorry to throw more kerosene on an already charging fire.


You need to really think hard on this. If she's The One, are you willing to put up with this long term?

And if the relationship gets more solid and things tame down will you both still be attracted to each other?

Caryatnid

Please_Help wrote:

Hi im going out with a girl and its turning into one wierd relationship!! This is a very long and detailed post but i just wanted to give readers an idea of my situation and hopefully advise me because neither of us have ever been in a proper relationship for this length of time.

That's a joke right?
Seriously OP - are you talking about Christmas not even three months ago? And you spent a lot of this time not even together???? That's a proper relationship?
Tbh nothing about your relationship seemed to me to be remotely proper.

I think if things are starting out like this you should run a mile - you're supposed to be in the honeymoon period and it's driving you mental.

Your 'girlfriend' sounds like a complete idiot. She will grow out of that need for attention when she gets older (well, normal people do), and it sounds like she's unbelievably immature with no disregard for your feelings.

She doesn't even respect you.
And really, if you are saying you are just like her, and you are putting up with her, you deserve it. Maybe you should stay with her until you learn your lesson about what a 'proper' relationship should be and go and find someone who you can respect, and who can respect you.

Actually I believe you should stay with eachother until you both drive each other mental. Methinks you will both self destruct, you are so mean to each other.

The Hill Billy

OP - I'll cut to the chase...
Neither of you are mature enough in the way you treat each other for this relationship ever to be a "proper" one.
That is not to say that you may not have "proper" relationships with others.
You really seem to be wrong for each other & (ahem) rub each other up the wrong way.
Move on.

frizzefreckles

The girl clearly has issues and you are certainly not mature enough to help her deal with them. She needs to either see a councillor as has already been suggested or find someone to help her deal with them. You need to grow up.