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What drives your bowels mad?

  • 25-02-2007 7:57pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,668 ✭✭✭


    A combination of

    - Soup
    - Three cups of coffee
    - A large Innocent smoothie

    all this afternoon has meant for frequent sitting visits to the bathroom.

    Not today, but not good either

    - Thai food
    - Polo mints
    - Lager

    Other people - what drives your bowels wild?


«1

Comments

  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,344 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    Espresso coffee - I must avoid it or I get instant results.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 848 ✭✭✭Backtoblack


    Water.. I try to drink a good few pints a day and this tends to have the effect of needing to hang out in the ladies a good bit!
    Coffee maybe too. :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,240 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    What an odd thread :confused:

    Will there be a "how regular are you?" follow up?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,175 ✭✭✭chamlis


    Apparently, Buckfast and Pancakes from a ready-made "just add water" box.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,413 ✭✭✭✭Basq


    My bowels hates it when i repeatedly sing "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.. i know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.. i know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.. i know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.. i know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.. i know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.. i know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.. i know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.."

    And so on and so forth!

    Certainly drives him mad!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,668 ✭✭✭nlgbbbblth


    What an odd thread :confused:

    Will there be a "how regular are you?" follow up?

    Not as odd as calling yourself after an over-zealous, hyperactive, snobbish, dismissive television chef.

    Yes, Fanny Cradock Cooks For Christmas (1975, complete with Mike Oldfield theme tune) makes for great viewing nowadays but doesn't take away from the fact that she was a division four league cook.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,984 ✭✭✭✭Lump


    My bowls are nice, I put cereal in them.

    John


  • Posts: 16,720 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Guinness. Eh, the next day I mean.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,413 ✭✭✭✭Basq


    Oh... and almost forgot, Yore Ma drives my bowels mad!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,240 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    nlgbbbblth wrote:
    Not as odd as calling yourself after an over-zealous, hyperactive, snobbish, dismissive television chef.

    Yes, Fanny Cradock Cooks For Christmas (1975, complete with Mike Oldfield theme tune) makes for great viewing nowadays but doesn't take away from the fact that she was a division four league cook.

    I like to think of it as more unique then odd. So, how regular are you, nlgbbbblth?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,780 ✭✭✭✭ninebeanrows


    Packet of Soft Mints

    Chewing 1 pack of blue Extra

    Eating a full tin of beans

    Eating 2 kiwis

    Finishing on a Curry for dinner

    That was a ghastly day:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,668 ✭✭✭nlgbbbblth


    I like to think of it as more unique then odd. So, how regular are you, nlgbbbblth?

    Well very regular this evening for the reasons outlined in the opening post of the thread.

    Otherwise, two or three times a day.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 848 ✭✭✭Backtoblack


    Are we talking Number ones or Number twos here??
    (twos are poos btw!) :confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,240 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    2 or 3 times a day :eek:

    High fibre diet I'd imagine


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    Im an expert on the subject im afraid.. having spent weeks in hospital with ulcerative Colitis, which i seem to have cured by changing my diet. No drugs needed in years now :D
    Firstly Coffee!! One of the worst, Caffeine is very very bad but even decaff coffee is no good as coffee itself is a laxative!!
    Secondly is Red meat. Beef is the most obvious...
    Those are the 2 that cause problems.

    However in some people Alcohol will relax the bowels too so out comes a nice steamer :D

    <snip> for pics :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,668 ✭✭✭nlgbbbblth


    Are we talking Number ones or Number twos here??
    (twos are poos btw!) :confused:

    :)
    Bowels in thread title should be a clue...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,668 ✭✭✭nlgbbbblth


    www.poopreport.com

    interesting and rewarding stories

    'poo shouldn't be taboo'


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,344 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    Saruman wrote:

    <snip> for pics :D

    Oh my God I thought that was a joke URL. :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,790 ✭✭✭cornbb


    Eating a whole packet of anything that contains "a source of Phenylalanine. EXCESSIVE CONSUMPTION MAY PRODUCE LAXATIVE EFFECTS"

    You all know what I'm talking about...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 848 ✭✭✭Backtoblack


    nlgbbbblth wrote:
    :)
    Bowels in thread title should be a clue...

    :D:D lol No I just had to make sure, coz two or three times is very low!!!
    You peeps are just not drinking enough water!!!!!
    More water = more trips to the bathroom = less working for the boss = more pay for less work + its good for your bowls + its good for your skin. ;)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,389 ✭✭✭✭Saruman


    spurious wrote:
    Oh my God I thought that was a joke URL. :eek:
    Thats been around since www.hotornot.com first appeared. Some of them are so funny i just cant control my laughter.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 848 ✭✭✭Backtoblack


    oops.. I should have gone to medical school!!! :p:D
    LMAO! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,776 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Now, in all fairness, bowels are an underated organ. After a good old fashion Balti, extra rice, there is nothing better than grabbing a copy of the Sunday World (not for reading - I don;t trust you bastards to have replaced the bog roll) and sitting back and letting go. Especially if you've have to hold it in for a while. It's a natural (and sometimes, quiet uplifting) process so instead of srating threads about it, enjoy it.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,662 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    :D:D lol No I just had to make sure, coz two or three times is very low!!!
    You peeps are just not drinking enough water!!!!!
    More water = more trips to the bathroom = less working for the boss = more pay for less work + its good for your bowls + its good for your skin. ;)

    Bowels = intestines = poop.
    Bladder = urine (wee).

    Cheap vodka kills me that next day.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,668 ✭✭✭nlgbbbblth


    Having to 'go' in a pub with no lock on the door is always traumatic.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    Saruman wrote:
    Im an expert on the subject im afraid.. having spent weeks in hospital with ulcerative Colitis, which i seem to have cured by changing my diet. No drugs needed in years now :D
    Firstly Coffee!! One of the worst, Caffeine is very very bad but even decaff coffee is no good as coffee itself is a laxative!!
    Secondly is Red meat. Beef is the most obvious...
    Those are the 2 that cause problems.

    However in some people Alcohol will relax the bowels too so out comes a nice steamer :D

    <snip> for pics :D
    Links to porn related stuff on that site.
    Please do not link to it again.
    Having to 'go' in a pub with no lock on the door is always traumatic.
    Long legs are a bonus in that situation.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,649 ✭✭✭gyppo


    A sociable gallon of Harp(ic) always got things going the following day.

    Otherwise, a good hot vindaloo would mean a long protracted and tear inducing stay on the throne.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,461 ✭✭✭Max_Damage


    nlgbbbblth wrote:
    Having to 'go' in a pub with no lock on the door is always traumatic.

    Having to 'go' in a pub anyway is traumatic! Even worse if there is piss all over the seat (which there usually is).


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Sleep deprivation and caffeine...and tap water, no matter where you go, is infested and/or digusting.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    What an odd thread :confused:

    Will there be a "how regular are you?" follow up?
    It wouldn't be the first time tbh, these things seem to come around annually.


  • Administrators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,781 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭hullaballoo


    Cigarettes.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,240 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    Overheal wrote:
    Sleep deprivation and caffeine...and tap water, no matter where you go, is infested and/or digusting.

    Infested? It is understood that tap water often has less bacteria than bottled.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,180 ✭✭✭1huge1


    gotta be the millers


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 848 ✭✭✭Backtoblack


    Infested? It is understood that tap water often has less bacteria than bottled.

    Reporting from Clontarf: Water is fine here too!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,048 ✭✭✭SimpleSam06


    Max_Damage wrote:
    Having to 'go' in a pub anyway is traumatic! Even worse if there is piss all over the seat (which there usually is).
    And whats with that anyway? Is there a contingent of permanently bunged up pensioners with terminal constipation taking their revenge on those of us whose bowels still have a bit of life left in them?

    Or are there young bravos who get some sort of knacker scout badge for piddling on toilet seats? Extra merits for raining in every pub in town before noon? Who would do such a thing?!?! and Why?!?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,324 ✭✭✭Alter-Ego


    Guiness and buckfast should carry warnings.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Fast Food of any kind.

    And quit your arguing hey! Ya'all sound constipated! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,227 ✭✭✭✭Sparky


    Donar Kebab
    Cider
    Coffee
    Hunky Doreys


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    nlgbbbblth wrote:
    what drives your bowels wild?


    YOU'RE FACE! ....errr...sorry

    nlgbbbblth wrote:
    Polo Mints

    Think it says on the packaging that eating too many can have laxative effects...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,494 ✭✭✭ronbyrne2005


    Prunes are highly effective at speeding things up.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 848 ✭✭✭Backtoblack


    Prunes are highly effective at speeding things up.
    I really like prunes, I eat one can a week maybe.
    Do raisins have the same effect? ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,257 ✭✭✭✭Rabies


    When I first moved to NZ I spent a week eating crap take away food every day. A week later my insides were muck.... never again :(

    The hostel never had such a smelly jacks after me :D


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,812 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Listening to a public address by the old prunes: Bush, Chaney, or their buddy Blair.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,786 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    The-Rigger wrote:
    nlgbbbblth wrote:
    Polo Mints
    Think it says on the packaging that eating too many can have laxative effects...
    The little hole that never closes is a bit of a hint there.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,485 ✭✭✭Archeron


    A large ice cream, a pint of milk and a quarter pound of dolly mixtures once did it for me. To the point where I had to ask a double decker bus full of people to stop in Blessington and allow me time to leave a steamy gift in someones front garden.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,649 ✭✭✭gyppo


    Archeron wrote:
    A large ice cream, a pint of milk and a quarter pound of dolly mixtures once did it for me. To the point where I had to ask a double decker bus full of people to stop in Blessington and allow me time to leave a steamy gift in someones front garden.


    So, you're the little firty ducker thats been sh1ting in me garden:eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    In my opinion,now I'm no expert, the best combo to "get a shove on " is 3 or 4 good husks of sweetcorn in butter followed by a very hot chili and rice.

    Whenever I feel a touch bound, I set up that meal and about 2 hours later I'm on the pot "heaving for Ireland" as it were. Empties the bowels fully and rarely needs encouragement to leave the premises.

    Have a brush within easy reach tho' as the corn can spread from the initial burst of fire...especially if you are in a strange privvy.

    Highly reccomended.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Guinness.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 884 ✭✭✭NutJob


    I cook a pretty mean curry

    Tend to overdo it with the chillies an jalapeños


    Pint of water while eating


    Guiness after


    maintains regularity:eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    I got IBS :(.

    Absolutely anything can set it off. Stress dependent though.


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