Getting Stick About Drinking

dSTAR

So the silly season is still in full effect and naturally people are up for having a good time and maybe drinking a bit more than usual.

Then someone close to you comes along and calls you out for your drinking habits and makes you feel like you are some kind of desperate alcoholic.

I don't mean ha ha you were so pissed last night and made an ass of yourself but the kind of guilt trip your parents used to lay on you when you were a kid!

It has started me thinking maybe I DO have a problem with alcohol and don't know when to call it a night.

Serious guilt trip here.

BrandonBlock

Feck them, its christmas, enjoy yourself

Ruu_Old

Father Ted: To China!
[everybody cheers]
Chinese man: [raising his glass] To Craggy Island!
[everybody cheers]
Father Ted: More drink!
[everybody cheers]
Bar tender: I'm sorry, the bar's closed.
[everybody cheers]
Father Ted: How about we all go back to my place for a drink?
[everybody cheers]
Father Dougal: Wait, I need to go to the toilet first.
[everybody cheers]

What exactly are you looking for OP? People to tell you "ah its grand, don't listen to them!" to ease your mind? Do YOU reckon there is a problem?

Dave!

ah its grand, don't listen to them!

EDIT: Woah, Ruu, how did you predict my post? :eek:

dSTAR

I can understand it to a degree. I would go as far to say that I consider myself a very responsible person.

I don't do or say stupid things when I am drunk and am always quite mellow after a few jars.

Maybe its just women that have this knack for making men feel shame while sticking a knife in their backs?

*Runs for cover

Victor

Have a few drinks. Do not get so trollied, that you actually need a trolley. The problem with Irish drinking is we stay sober all week and then expect our livers (and brains) to be able to process a week's worth of alcohol during the weekend. Two pints a day, every day is a lot easier for your body to handle than 7 pints a day over two days.

dSTAR

Ruu wrote:

What exactly are you looking for OP? People to tell you "ah its grand, don't listen to them!" to ease your mind? Do YOU reckon there is a problem?

Up to now I didn't.

But now I am starting to think maybe there is a problem because I am always the last man standing so to speak. When everyone else has folded and called it a night I am still drinking.

Would you consider that a problem?

nervous_twitch

I reckon those of us getting stick for drinking too much should just go out together!

But on a slightly more sober note (hehe), I know exactly what you're talking about - currently in the same situation.. I wouldnt have called it a problem until someone brought me up on it, and now I'm starting to wonder.

And they say we know the one thats one too many

Ruu_Old

dSTAR wrote:

Up to now I didn't.

But now I am starting to think maybe there is a problem because I am always the last man standing so to speak. When everyone else has folded and called it a night I am still drinking.

Would you consider that a problem?

I wouldn't know to be honest, I don't drink so I don't know what goes on with ye hip kids these days. What state are you in when everyone else has called it a night and is it just over the holidays?

R0ot

People drink way too much at this time of year, had to break up 4 fights so far in work, and im getting sick of it tbh. :mad:

InFront

yeah, if there's one thing that really pees me off at this time of year it's people who go way to overboard with alcohol. (I'm not a "Square Seán" by the way!) Most of the time I love drunk people, they can be really good as a source of amusement, but sometimes people do take it too far.

However, if you are happy with your drinking, and you aren't going seriously overboard, theymay well just worrying about nothing. I don't drink, and I suppose I dont even agree with alcohol in theory, ut for some reason it does annoy me when people talk about someone getting drunk, or drinking at a house party before going out, as if they have an alcohol addiction (American fellow students in aprticular, but no offence Americans!)

dSTAR

Ruu wrote:

What state are you in when everyone else has called it a night and is it just over the holidays?

I am not completely rat assed or even anywhere near the point were I am slurring or falling about.

For instance last night we had visitors from interstate. We all had a bit to drink. At about 11pm they started yawning and hinting that they were ready to crash whereas I was just getting going. So I stayed up drinking and listening to some nostalgic music that reminded me of my younger days in Ireland.

Alcohol seems to have a strange effect on me. Rather than shutting me down it fires me up. Occasionally I lose track of time because I am absorbed in something or just buzzed out chatting to somebody I haven't seen or spoken to in a while.

I need to make the point that most of the time I am not just sitting around drinking to get smashed but actually doing something creative or chatting to family and friends who are in a different time zone.

I don't think its a problem but other people seem to think so.

vibe666

if it's concerning your friend so much they felt they had to mention it then you can bet that it's been on their mind for quite some time. it's not something you'd just blurt out from the blue.

that should tell you something in itself.

that said, what's your friend like? if it's a nun then fair enough, feel free to ignore, but if your friend is someone who's out in the same scene as you then maybe you should listen to them.

maybe out of all your friends they are the only one who cares enough about you to confront you.

or maybe they're just sqaure, we can't tell you that only you can.

my advice would be to talk to them again about it. sit down somewhere quiet where you won't be disturbed and see where it leads you.

Sam Vimes

vibe666 wrote:

my advice would be to talk to them again about it. sit down somewhere quiet where you won't be disturbed and see where it leads you.

over drinks

vibe666

Commander Vimes wrote:

over drinks

lol, and I was trying so hard not to say it.

rediguana

If a lot of people are mentioning your drinking, chances are it's too heavy. Don't live your life completely according to the tastes of others, but be savvy enough to learn from what's going on around you.

It is Christmas but someone who drinks too much at Christmas almost certainly drinks too much on many other more mundane occasions throughout the year.

dSTAR

vibe666 wrote:

lol, and I was trying so hard not to say it.

You bloody cruel bar stewards.

Next I will standing up saying Hi my name is D____ and I am an alcoholic!

vibe666

Commander Vimes wrote:

over drinks

lol, and I was trying so hard not to say it.

*Tripper*

Thats just crazy drunk talk drunky!

dSTAR

vibe666 wrote:

lol, and I was trying so hard not to say it.

Hey you are repeating yourself.

Have you had a few? Christ it must only be breakfast time there!!

rediguana

I just saw now that you're an Aussie, D-Star. The Queensland cops arrested me for being drunk & (eventually) disorderly when I was there a few years ago. My Australian friends told me I was lucky they didn't just shoot me

Huggles

OP any chance that the person said this to you is non-Irish?

We had a similar issue raised in the states a few years back. I lived in a house with fourteen other Irish and we'd get locked pretty much every night. Like yourself, it would relax the mood and chill us all out, there was no aggression. Anyways, the American friends pulled us up on it and made out that we'd wake at the crack of dawn, brush our teeth in whisky and go from there.

In that instance it was a cultural thing...where we were there was no drinking culture and we stood out like sore thumbs. Wouldn't let it bug you.

dSTAR

rediguana wrote:

I just saw now that you're an Aussie, D-Star.

I don't know what I am some days but definitely not an Aussie.

TheGooner wrote:

OP any chance that the person said this to you is non-Irish?

Yes but Aussies love their piss too!

Kingp35

There is nothing wrong with getting trollied and drinking well into the early hours of the morning. If I go out then I will stay out in the out in the pub until about half two then go home and have a few more drinks with mates in my house. So what? I dont have a drink problem at all and I enjoy getting trollied, as does pretty much everybody I know (other than the girlfriend who happens to be a pioneer).

Someone with a drink problem drinks pretty much everyday and drinks to get drunk, not to socialise. If thats what you do you have a problem, if not then you dont and your mate is just a square.

dSTAR

Kingp35 wrote:

Someone with a drink problem drinks pretty much everyday and drinks to get drunk, not to socialise. If thats what you do you have a problem, if not then you dont and your mate is just a square.

Now here is the thing that really gives me the 5hits...

The girl that mentioned my penchant for drinking late into the night had come down to Melbourne from Brisvegas and was pretty much dropping pills, doing lines of whiz and getting stuck into vodka and Kahlua's for the past five days.

Next morning she mentions to my missus that she noticed the light on in the early hours of the morning. Yet next morning I was up before every one of them, cooked them all a really nice breakfast and went to work. After I was gone she asked my missus if I should be driving implying I was still over the limit.

Now don't get me wrong I am not into drink driving. I was very clear headed and sober when I left. But yet on my return I get an ear bashing from my missus about my drinking habits.

Victor

If this person is available and attractive always respond to "I think you've had enough to drink" with "You know what, you're right, lets go back to my place and make out."

CherieAmour

What one person perceives as "over the top" drink wise, another person wouldn't bat an eyelid at!

I'm normally among the last standing, not because I have a drink problem, but because I enjoy a good night out. I could stretch 6 drinks from 9pm - 3am, others have that in 2 hours. Does that mean if they go home early and I stay out that I have a problem and they don't? I think not! Some people get tired/drunk quicker than others.

Were you not tempted to ask this drug fiend how yours is a problem and hers isn't? I wouldn't have been able to have let that one go!!!

For me, someone with a drink problem who would need to reconsider their actions would be doing any of the following:

• Getting violent or abusive
• Drink driving
• Regularly drinking alone
• Needing a drink to have a good time

Examine your behaviour and if you find that it's unreasonable, change it, if not, why not ask some other friends of yours what they think?

C'est tout!

Caliden

They're clearly lightweights and jealous of your drinking capacity.
If 'Frank the Tank' truly existed it would definately be an Irish man at xmas time.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Questions for the OP (that no one else seemsto have asked...)

...how much did you actually drink before she spoke to you?

Also, regarding the alcoholic thing, is it in danger of taking over your life?

Can you have a good night out without drinking anything?
If you can, sounds like you're safe enough...

is_that_so

Kingp35 wrote:

Someone with a drink problem drinks pretty much everyday and drinks to get drunk, not to socialise. If thats what you do you have a problem, if not then you dont and your mate is just a square.

Someone who drinks anything more than one drink every day potentially has a problem. What they are doing is building a habit. You don't have to get drunk. If you can drink 10 pints without falling down but only drink 4 pints every night you are still developing a habit. Alcohol can cause emotional and physical harm and it is important to acknowledge that to those closest to the potential damage.

Pythia

I'd listen to your friends. My ex had a problem and even though we used to mention it to him, he'd never listen. After two incidents with the emergency services relating to him, he started listening to us.
We broke up soon after that so don't know if he stuck to it.
But my point is, maybe you should take a look at yourself before things get out of hand.

shane86

dSTAR wrote:

Now here is the thing that really gives me the 5hits...

The girl that mentioned my penchant for drinking late into the night had come down to Melbourne from Brisvegas and was pretty much dropping pills, doing lines of whiz and getting stuck into vodka and Kahlua's for the past five days.

Ive a mate who is the same. He is drunk on his quid per can Druids most nights per week. Whenever there are alot of yokes available, he would be dropping 2-3 nights per week (and Im talking Mondays and Tuesdays, not the weekend or anything.). Hes the type that begins drinking in late afternoon and only stops when he cant walk or talk anymore. Due to this lifestyle he couldnt even afford to go clubbing this christmas/new year on more than one occasion (and that was only because I lent him a few quid, he already owes me 160).

Now, Christmas Night, Id had a fair few, dont do all dayers often but Id been drinking since 3pm and was fairly gone by 1am (reason I dont do this is that its better to hit the clubs, have your 6 pints and a 3 rounds of triple WKD and have a laugh, rather than be so out of it you get in trouble and dont even remember. Mind you, an all dayer in the summer is a grand laugh if done outdoors and you stick with beer in the field/party rather than headin clubbing and lumping a load of voddys into you Jaysus, Im gettin teary eyed just reminiscing about the Bray trip last summer ). As said, Christmas Night i was the type of drunk i dont like being, arguing with people and all sorts and with no memory of it at all. Now, my alco drug fiend calls me next day to inform me that I was acting the prick. Granted, I probably was, but he had an attitude as if he was Mr Perfect. The balls on the man, the amount of times I have had to pull him out of rows, have thrown him into a taxi at a club door because he couldnt stand on arrival, times I prevented him being arrested, and he has the balls to say this!

Met his sister in the pub that night (while he was out having a smoke) and offered my apologies (as said, totally genuine, I dont like being a bollix like that). Offered her a drink, she said dont worry and when I recanted the story he told me (which I couldnt remember) she told me not to worry, her brother is prone to exaggeration (which he is). While I definitely did do one or two bad things, according to how she said it it wasnt all that major, and, as she said, it happens to everyone once in a while (except her brother. With him it could be twice weekly at times)

Sorry about the long winded rambling, I couldve easily put it as "Yeah I hate that too DStar, Ive an alcoholic pill monster mate who chastised me for having been a bit non complimentis the other night"

Damn rants

robinph

I got queried as to if I had a drink problem over Christmas as well.

This was because I was barely touching the stuff though, mostly due to me not being particularly bothered about getting pissed that day.

Kur4mA

Probably off topic completely, but I've just started to realise how much I hate drinking lately. It does nothing for me whatsoever, I don't like the taste of ANY of it and I'm wrecked from it the next day most of the time. So I'm giving it up and am not going to drink anymore.

JohnCleary

Dude, It's XMas

I only woke up an hour ago, just out of the shower and im sipping on a can of bulmers, in a towel... In a week i'll be back to normal

Tell them to fcuk off

emeraldstar

well there are a LOT of people for whom drink is the be-all and end-all of having a good time, and then there are those like me for whom it isn't ...it doesnt really even come near the top of my list of requirements for enjoying myself. I'm not saying you're an alco that needs to have drink just to enjoy yourself, but that the people who don't need drink don't understand why it seems to be such a necessity for some ppl that they have it every time they have a night out, have a night in, meet friends, etc etc etc....

InFront

emeraldstar wrote:

there are those like me for whom it isn't ...it doesnt really even come near the top of my list of requirements for enjoying myself. I'm not saying you're an alco that needs to have drink just to enjoy yourself, but that the people who don't need drink don't understand why it seems to be such a necessity for some ppl that they have it every time they have a night out, have a night in, meet friends, etc etc etc....

I dont drink but I wouldnt go so far as to say we cant understand why others do. I understand completely why someone would want a "relaxing drug" to settle them into a night of enjoying themselves, kicking back and realzing doesnt come so easily to everyone after a day of work and stress Im sure. If they manage to do this without adversely affecting others or themselves, and if they have no fundamental problem with alcohol, I can understand (though not necessarily agree with) why they would use it in they way you outline.

Shards

Dstar, simple solution is for you to have a proper examination of your drinkining habits, if you don't find a problem, then forget about it, only you know yourself if you have a problem and by the sounds of things I personally don't think you do. You sound like a mate of mine, he's a big lad and can drink twice as much as the other lads and still be the most sober, yet a few other people have been calling him out on it. However, this lad would drink perhaps once every two weeks (and not binge drink, generally).
I, myself, have been called an alco (in a joking fashion) by my mates as I drink what would tend to be considered men's drinks, (mainly whiskey) and the fact that I rarely get drunk seems to skip everyones attention. Saying that I did get spectacularly ossified the other night, made a fool of myself and am living in shame but that was the first time I'd been drunk since halloween.

CherieAmour

dSTAR wrote:

Serious guilt trip here.

Drink is a known depressant and makes you paranoid too!! It drives me mental when I'm out and spend the next day feeling really down, worried about what I've done, replaying the night over and over and generally feeling kack when I haven't even done anything!

Put it this way, if someone told me off after a night on the sauce, I'd take it very personally and most likely be very upset about it. If someone told me off any other day of the week, I'd consider what they said, assess the situation, and then tell them to feck off/ apologise, whichever I see fit.

Drugs and alcohol impair judgement on both sides so it's possible your drug munching mate might have thought nothing of your behaviour if she hadn't been out of her nut in the recent past too.

You can read everyone's advice here but in truth, only you can decide what you should do.

Rb

OP: Unless you're drinking every day I doubt you've much to worry about. If its just binge drinking once a week, though its not healthy, a lot of people do it and you're just one of them/us.
If they were talking about the sheer quantity you drink on a night out...sure we're Irish, they have to understand But if they're talking about the sheer amount you drink all week, then you might have a problem.

rediguana

Why do so many people seem to thing "Irish" is a synonym for "drunk"?

Anyway, the guy's logging in from Melbourne.

Shellie13

dSTAR wrote:

It has started me thinking maybe I DO have a problem with alcohol and don't know when to call it a night.

Serious guilt trip here.

Go out once or twice dont drink...make up ur own mind then!

dSTAR

CherieAmour wrote:

For me, someone with a drink problem who would need to reconsider their actions would be doing any of the following:

• Getting violent or abusive
• Drink driving
• Regularly drinking alone
• Needing a drink to have a good time

I wouldn't say I do any of those things particularly the top two.

Does having a few drinks and chatting online or hanging out in boards qualify as drinking alone. If so I am guilty!

Ikky Poo2 wrote:

...how much did you actually drink before she spoke to you?

I'd had 2 long neck beers and about 4 double vodka and soda's.

Ikky Poo2 wrote:

Also, regarding the alcoholic thing, is it in danger of taking over your life?

I wouldn't say so

Ikky Poo2 wrote:

Can you have a good night out without drinking anything?
If you can, sounds like you're safe enough...

I don't go out very much. You know when you have children everything changes. But I could go out and have a good time without alcohol but it most likely wouldn't be in a bar or club!

InFront wrote:

I understand completely why someone would want a "relaxing drug" to settle them into a night of enjoying themselves, kicking back and realzing doesnt come so easily to everyone after a day of work and stress Im sure.

Is it really such a bad thing to do this?

rb_ie wrote:

OP: Unless you're drinking every day I doubt you've much to worry about.

I am not dependent on alcohol and usually drink one or twice a week MAX. When I do drink I don't usually do half measures.

Shellie13 wrote:

Go out once or twice dont drink...make up ur own mind then!

I have done that. I even abstained from alcohol for months even though I craved it on a Friday or Saturday night. I am at stage now were I can take it or leave it or even just have the one and have no more. But once I have a couple I want to keep going at it really hard. That is probably where my problem lies. I thought most people were like this after a few. Maybe I am wrong here...

Rb

Sounds like you're just a pretty average drinker so, don't worry about it.

my mother constantly does this and has made me wonder a few times
but i'm an average drinker

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

OP - Fair enough. Sounds like it's not dominating your life and you can live without it. Make the point and thank the other person for their concerns.

CSG - "Average drinking" in this country is not nessecarily healthy.

CuLT

The girl that mentioned my penchant for drinking late into the night had come down to Melbourne from Brisvegas and was pretty much dropping pills, doing lines of whiz and getting stuck into vodka and Kahlua's for the past five days.

Maybe she was trying to be ironic.

Capt'n Midnight

rediguana wrote:

Why do so many people seem to thing "Irish" is a synonym for "drunk"?

do we still have the highest proportion of tea-totallers of countries with a drinking culture ?

Plissken1

I just spent Christmas away from Ireland, and I really enjoyed it. It was great to be able to get away from all the complete madness here, and its only when you go away you realise just how mental Christmas in Ireland really is. The only drunk person I saw was my brother (who is Irish), I didnt see any late night fights or overcrowded nightclubs with puke filled toilets. No young people slumped on the ground outside the chippers, I would recommend it to anyone.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

rediguana wrote:

Why do so many people seem to thing "Irish" is a synonym for "drunk"?

Anyway, the guy's logging in from Melbourne.

He is Irish, not Aussie.

And the synonym exists because we drink heavily in this country compared to others, and see drinking as a major part of our social life, rather than than simply contributing to it.

Gautama

dSTAR wrote:

So the silly season is still in full effect

Confused alright! The Silly Season refers to August. Christmas/December is the Party Season.
Sorry about being pedantic, but this is not the first time I've encountered this faux pas.