So f*cking frustrated!!

LegacyUser

Hello All

Here's the situation....I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago cause it wasn't working out. We'd been living together for two years but had both fallen out of love and knew it had to end. Since the split I've been with quite a lot of people. I'm young free & single and I've been having fun. Lately though I've started to feel kinda lonely. I don't want a boyfriend cause I'm enjoying the single life at the moment but I also don't want to have one-night-stands cause I never feel good afterwards and hate the lack of genuine intimacy or real emotion. Sometimes that's great but I want something more lately. So there's the problem. I have a really high sex drive and it's starting to drive me crazy. I'm in a bad mood all the time cause I'm so frustrated.

Any suggestions? (not vibrators cause it's just not the same as skin against skin!!)

Sleepy

Find a **** buddy.

Dragan

Sleepy wrote:

Find a **** buddy.

To be honest it's about your only option. You don't want a one night stand, you don't want a relationship......it's kind of narrowing down your options somewhat.

LegacyUser

How do you find a f*ck buddy though?

All I really want is a regular shag with someone whos good in bed but how do you go about finding that? I probably sound really cheap and unclassy but I'm not. I got really badly hurt by my ex and I'm not ready to start seeing somebody new. I don't want to be committed to anybody cause I don't wanna get hurt again. I get alot of attention from guys and scoring is easy but I think I'd sound like a slut if I said to a guy 'Wanna be my f*ck buddy?'...

This is really wrecking my head cause I don't like one-night-stands. Before my break up I'd never had one and I've had about 4 or 5 since. The first one was to distract myself and block out the pain I was feeling about my ex but I didn't feel good the following morning. When I think about it, having sex with someone who you don't know is kinda horrible....*sigh*...

humanji

I'm free!

Seriously though, you want the best of both worlds, and you're unlikely to get what you want. The above f*ck buddy suggestion is as near as you'll get.

Nevyn

There are plenty of 'adult' meeting site and dating sites where you can go and find a person to be in such a relationship with.
Go use a search engine.

LegacyUser

I'd feel to weird meeting someone of an internet dating site purely to have sex with them!! Sure in that case I might aswell become a hooker and make a few quid along the way!

So guys, if you met a girl out one night and slept with her and she told you that a f*ck buddy type set up is all she was looking for, would you think cah-ching or would you think 'How many other people does she have this going on with?' or would you think she was a bit slutty considering you don't really know each other?

Victor

Make a nerd happy!

Unreg66 wrote:

So guys, if you met a girl out one night and slept with her and she told you that a f*ck buddy type set up is all she was looking for, would you think cah-ching or would you think 'How many other people does she have this going on with?' or would you think she was a bit slutty considering you don't really know each other?

I think every guy will have a different answer for every different girl and even then the answer will change from circumstance to circumstance and over time.

Dragan

Victor wrote:

I think every guy will have a different answer for every different girl and even then the answer will change from circumstance to circumstance and over time.

Have to say I agree with Victor. The simple fact is that different people need different things. Some guys just don't want a **** buddy, the don't want intimacy on any level really. Some guys always want to be in a relationship, some guys never even want to hook up with someone.

The same can be applied to girls.

**** buddies, much like relationships , just tend to work out. You meet a guy, he's nice, no one wants a relationship but both want some sex and a bit of fun. It's just like meeting a boyfriend. Or at least this is my experience of it anyway. I have had, at certain points in my life, 1 or 2 female friends that I slept with. It was the same idea for both of us, just some no strings fun but it never compromised our friendship.

Raekwon

Unreg66 wrote:

So guys, if you met a girl out one night and slept with her and she told you that a f*ck buddy type set up is all she was looking for, would you think cah-ching or would you think 'How many other people does she have this going on with?' or would you think she was a bit slutty considering you don't really know each other?

It depends if she was any good in bed. There is no point having a f*ck buddy who is crap now is there?

Plus, the guys that you will agree to be your f*ck buddy will have no respect for you and you might get a bad reputation and an even worse infection. Be careful!

humanji

Unreg66 wrote:

I'd feel to weird meeting someone of an internet dating site purely to have sex with them!! Sure in that case I might aswell become a hooker and make a few quid along the way!

So guys, if you met a girl out one night and slept with her and she told you that a f*ck buddy type set up is all she was looking for, would you think cah-ching or would you think 'How many other people does she have this going on with?' or would you think she was a bit slutty considering you don't really know each other?

As Victor said, it would depend on the guy. I was in that situation a while ago with a girl and grew "attached" to her, which really made things messy (there's a joke there, but I'll let it pass ), so that might be something to be weary of, Also, you have to bear in mind that you don't really know where the other person has been, so always be safe!!!

And you say you'd feel odd meeting someone on the net just for sex, well what about the guys you met for the one night stands then? Couldn't you just tell them that you'd like to meet up again for some no-strings fun? (probably best to ask them the morning after as they'll agree to anythign!

gandalf

Well tbh you will still need to like a **** buddy and you are right its not something that you will ask a relative stranger you need to get to know the person first.

Best places would be via internet dating. Head out on a few dates and meet a few guys and you never know you could find one that ticks all your boxes (if you forgive the pun).

Drift

I've never had one but from what I hear the danger with a ****buddy relationship is that one partner always ends up getting attached wheras the other doesn't. Ends up with someone getting hurt.

Mrs_Doyle

Ah finding a fcuk buddy is far easier then you think.
There MUST be a guy in your life that you have sexual chemistry with. Someone you flirt with and can almost see the sparks flying whenever you are together.
Someone in work? College?
I never had a **** buddy, but I did have a couple of guys, over the course of my life, whom I met up with at the end of a night out, or whenever the mood 'took' us, etc.
It never got complicated and only ended when things fizzled out, or when one of us met someone we wanted to see exclusively.

elqu

f**K buddies are an abosolute myth. Sorry to be boring but if you are not ready for a relationship and don't like one night stands try being celibate for a while! Not the end of the world not to have sex for a bit

Been through it all, bad break ups, fb type thing and celibate thing and i definitely felt better not doing what i was not that happy with, ie one night stands. as for the fb, imo, if you're after intimacy etc, you're not going to find it there. the guy invariably deals with it better than the woman. if the sex is good and you get on great why wouldn't you want it to go further? it's only natural. then when it goes pear shaped, you've only yourself and your unreasonable expecctations to blame *sigh*. can easily lead to an abusive type relationship too, especially if you are vulnerable after a break up. you can also end wasting valuable time on a guy who has no serious interest in you - yrs maybe! and your twenties are gone pretty damn fast i tell you!!

you have to take ownership of what makes you happy and responsibility for taking the steps that make you happy rather than letting every passing whim take control. and that's not easy but it is worth it.

so there's a synopsis of all i've learned in the last 32 yrs! hope it's of some use! that said everyone makes their own mistakes and everyone has different levels of comfort with fbs etc. really, you need to look at yourself and be real about what you need, whether it fits with popular wisdom or not.

good luck

Sleepy

Unreg66 wrote:

I'd feel to weird meeting someone of an internet dating site purely to have sex with them!! Sure in that case I might aswell become a hooker and make a few quid along the way!

So guys, if you met a girl out one night and slept with her and she told you that a f*ck buddy type set up is all she was looking for, would you think cah-ching or would you think 'How many other people does she have this going on with?' or would you think she was a bit slutty considering you don't really know each other?

The whole f-buddy thing tends to work out like meeting a new boyfriend/girlfriend when neither of ye are interested in a relationship or when you've started seeing someone and while the sex is good and you like the person, you know there's no future to the relationship.

Or like Mrs Doyle says, have you a friend you fancy but wouldn't ever date on a serious basis? This is the riskier option as it can get complicated and you may end up screwing up the friendship.

Gandalf is right that you need someone you like. A fcuk buddy is exactly what it says on the tin, it's a friend you fcuk, a friends with benefits relationship where as long as both sides are clear of the ground-rules, no-one should get hurt (and a lot of fun should be had by both!).

Try to think of it in terms of someone you go on regular dates with where neither of you expect it, rather than someone you just booty call.

And any man that thinks you're cheap for wanting regular sex isn't worth being friends with, never mind anything else.

Sleepy

elqu wrote:

if the sex is good and you get on great why wouldn't you want it to go further?

Uhm, I can think of loads of answers to that question but most boil down to the same thing:

You both want different things from life you're not prepared to give up.

Gholimoli

Unreg66 wrote:

How do you find a f*ck buddy though?

Hello...
is it me your looking for?
in mey cuntry we like fock body alot.
hi fiiiive
Borat.
P.S are you cute?
good in bed?
are you the legal age?

Nevyn

Gholimoli, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

hallelujah

humanji wrote:

I'm free!

Seriously though, you want the best of both worlds, and you're unlikely to get what you want. The above f*ck buddy suggestion is as near as you'll get.

I'm free!

Seriously though, I'm free...

aidan24326

Unreg66, the fact that you have such a norrow criterion for what you're looking for does limit the options somewhat. But despite that I have no doubt there are plenty of guys out there who'd be only too willing to oblige you. It's a matter of finding the right one for you.

I think the suggestion of internet meeting/dating sites is a good one and something you shouldn't dismiss until you've tried it. That way, you could possibly arrange casual 'dates' with a few guys, and you never know, one of them might just be what you're looking for. The good thing with this option is you can seek out people who are looking for the same sort of thing as you. You may or may not find what you want, but it's certainly worth a try. I'd be surprised if you didn't to be honest.

No need to worry about feeling 'slutty' or anything like that, it's not the 1950s anymore. You're a girl with sexual needs and you're entitled to want sexual pleasure for it's own sake just as men do. It doesn't always have to be about love and romance as some people seem to think. You just want a regular sexual partner who can satisfy you, and I'm sure there are plenty of available guys who could do that for you. Good luck with finding one.

milod

Unreg66 wrote:

Sure in that case I might aswell become a hooker and make a few quid along the way!

That's an interesting take on sexuality - what has money got to do with sex?

Your statement is probably more revealing than you know - you seem to see sex as a commodity, and unless it's dressed up with emotion/intimacy, it's reduced to a service that should be paid for.

Interesting also that you didn't consider the other option, i.e., that you might pay for an escort... Why do you think a man should pay you? are you that good?

Simply put, you now find yourself in the position that most men are familiar with, you're horny and frustrated! A man in that position must either play the seduction game, or pay for it...

You have a potential army of willing victims out there and you're still not happy! you want it both ways, a tender, intimate shag with no committment - the sort of thing that men are usually accused of...

My advice is be a little more pragmatic and find yourself a shagmate.

free2fly

I prefer the term "Friend with benefits". And I happen to have that relationship with someone at the moment. We are friends. We enjoy each other's company. We like doing things together, and we can tell each other anything. We also like to have sex with each other. Our relationship works because we were both honest up front about what we wanted and needed. Neither of us has expectations of this turning into something more. And, btw, I met him on an internet dating site We have tremendous respect for each other and he no way thinks I'm slutty. In fact, he considers me a very classy woman. If you find the right man, and go into things openly and honestly, it can work.

Gholimoli

Thaedydal wrote:

Gholimoli, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

How am I being off topic?
The OP is looking for a F*ck buddy and i was letting her know im game.
I then proceeded to ask a few questions about her?
How am I off-topic or unhelpful

ianmc38

Why exactly don't you want another boyfriend?

You don't want to be single because you feel lonely. You don't want one night stands, because they're cheap, lack intimacy and are in most cases meaningless. Sounds to me like you're looking for a boyfriend....

I hate the notion of f*ck buddies. I've had a few and in the end it's hard to keep it at that level. One or the other eventually become too attached.

ianmc38

Gholimoli wrote:

How am I being off topic?
The OP is looking for a F*ck buddy and i was letting her know im game.
I then proceeded to ask a few questions about her?
How am I off-topic or unhelpful

Gholimoli just because polygamy is all game back in your neck of the woods, it's not over here. You already have yourself a filly anyways (filly/swamp donkey, same difference) so leave some for the rest of us!

Gholimoli

ianmc38 wrote:

Why exactly don't you want another boyfriend?

You don't want to be single because you feel lonely. You don't want one night stands, because they're cheap, lack intimacy and are in most cases meaningless. Sounds to me like you're looking for a boyfriend....

I hate the notion of f*ck buddies. I've had a few and in the end it's hard to keep it at that level. One or the other eventually become too attached.

you have no idea what your talking about.
if f*ck buddys dont work for you it dosent mean they dont work.
i quite like the idea actually.
i bet your ugly as well and your f*ck budy left you...

humanji

Gholimoli wrote:

you have no idea what your talking about.
if f*ck buddys dont work for you it dosent mean they dont work.
i quite like the idea actually.
i bet your ugly as well and your f*ck budy left you...

And your ban will come in 3....2....1.....

ianmc38

Gholimoli wrote:

you have no idea what your talking about.
if f*ck buddys dont work for you it dosent mean they dont work.
i quite like the idea actually.
i bet your ugly as well and your f*ck budy left you...

Reported. Hope you get banned.

Gholimoli

ianmc38 wrote:

Reported. Hope you get banned.

why ???
all i want is a cute f*ck buddy with a high sex drive.
and i thought this country was the land of democracy !

LegacyUser

Thanks for all your replies, they've all been helpful....even Borat cause it made me smile!

A get alot of attention when I'm out but so far have yet to meet someone i'd want as a fcuk buddy. For example, I was with this lovely guy on Friday night. He was funny and up for a laugh but when we went to bed, he'd drank so much he couldn't get it up! Don't get me wrong, this usually wouldn't bother me at all and I understand it happens sometimes even to the best lovers but I was really looking forward to having sex cause I'm not sure where my next shag is coming from!!

Before him was a guy with a teeny dick and another guy who came at the sight of me sitting on his bed....maybe I'm going to the wrong places. I model part-time and alot of the guys I know are arroagnt coke heads...

Nevyn

Gholimoli boards.ie is not a dating/hooking up site and you are banned from the personal issue forum for 1 month for personal abuse.

OP glad you got some help I am locking this thread at this juncture.