meeting people off the internet

LegacyUser

What do people think about meeting people off the internet ?

I have never done it before, however yesterday was the first time i decided to go with my gut and meet a girl i have been talkin to for a while (weeks). I would never dream of sayin this to my friends casue i know the reactions i would get (they'd crap their pants laughing). O and it went perfect we couldnt stop talkin all night. I guess it was a lucky thing to happen. What do you think and how should i let my friends know i met this girl?

spinandscribble

i've done it and i thought it was going perfect but the guy ended up being a jerk and a liar. he's already moved on to another gf from the net now. *sigh* im just bitter. im sure if you're both genuine ppl. tell them the truth and if you act like its bothering you they are more likely to rip the piss outa you for it

Zombienosh

I've done this before, not met a girl but met friends and band members and so on. I don't see anything wrong with it though. Tell them where you actually met in person if you want......

free2fly

I've met two wonderful guys through the internet. Though you do have to be wise about your choices. And always think safety first. If you really like this girl then why do you care what your friends think? :rolleyes:

Nevyn

It happens a lot more these days and is not as unusual.

spinandscribble

think about the circumstances under which you get talking to them. i know now how to tell the guys who are genuine from the ones that just find me "hot". no one that shallow that just messages you to start a conversion coz they liked the look of you and found you attractive on myspace is worth much of a shot.

Ruu_Old

I have done it twice, one person it ended nasty and I'm still holding a grudge with her but thats just me, but the other is my wife of over 2 years after a fairytale type story.:) It is not uncommon as has been mentioned. If you are meeting for the first time, in a public, busy place is always good. Just use some common sense and have your phone with you incase you get stuck. Feel free to PM me if you need any advice.

theTinker

Ive met a new friend from. Had a friend who met a lover from it. Its worth a chuckle but nothing unusual these days.

LegacyUser

Well thanks for the reassurance, i really enjoyed the night, and there was no awkward silences, she talked as much as me. she wants to go out again so im thinkin ill give it another shot. I could never introduce her to my friends cause they are really immature, and would be all over her. But i think ill just stay quiet while talkin to them

cwynnes

Ive met several ppl from the net, and found it cool on every occasion, i never have any problems with it, just make sure you get to know them first and ull be grand...always go with your instinct

One of my best friends i have now i met from the net ...also i was in france last year and went out of my way to meet someone from the net (several hours on a train)...also thinkin of goin to the US soon cos of someone i know from the net

I spend too much time on the net

DirkVoodoo

I think in the early days of the internet, chat rooms were the domain of weirdos and loners. Nowadays the internet is as viable a social tool as the pub or a social club. Just look at the boards beers.

You will always meet people you dont get along with or have nothing in common, or worse still, lie about themselves. The latter is more likely to happen on the internet as you can't see the person and judge for yourself if they are rich (or appear to be) or recently one a Mr.Tight-Buns contest.

It's a risk you take, more risky if it involves matters of the heart, but sure going up and chatting to someone in a club is just as risky.

As for your friends, dont worry, dont mention it to them until you meet the girl. If she isn't as great in real life as she was on the internet, you can laugh with your friends about it. If the two of you hit it off, then you will be the one laughing at meeting a great girl.

6th

I've met loads of people from the Paranormal Forum and have been along to a Boards Beers - its really becoming alot more socially acceptable but that doesnt mean people should run at it blindly!

Black Swan

The web is just another way to meet people. And just like meeting people in pubs, clubs, house parties, and social groups, if you are looking for a relationship with a future, and not just a moment of fun, you will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince (or princess).

Ruu_Old

What to do ?? wrote:

Well thanks for the reassurance, i really enjoyed the night, and there was no awkward silences, she talked as much as me. she wants to go out again so im thinkin ill give it another shot. I could never introduce her to my friends cause they are really immature, and would be all over her. But i think ill just stay quiet while talkin to them

Glad it went well, don't take much notice of your friends. They just all want what they can't have and will have something else to talk about the next day. Best of luck for the future.

Jules

i met my guy on boards... and couldnt ask for better, but im just lucky i guess... god i love boards, just be careful, there are some weird people out there.... but sounds like you are lucky too!

Rockee

I got a friend request from a girl on myspace 3 months ago. Got on like a house on fire...we exchanged msn, phone numbers after a while and what do ye know! Im heading over to see her in Texas next month!!!!

JungleBunny

Met my boyfriend over the net. Love him to bits.
Met some others before him, some weird some nice, but you meet those people everywhere.
Some people think that meeting my bf this way is weird and stuff, but I don't care, as I don't think we would have met otherwise... Maybe like Ruu I too will have a fairytale type story

trishw78

Only every met one guy off the net... He seems sound *winks at kensutz*

greenkittie

Been meeting people off the internet for the past 7 years, its a fun way of expanding your social circle. Also you get to chat to people and vet them before you decide to take time out of your life to meet them good for busy people!

bookiebasher

I met a few people this way and its fine as long as u make such u have an escape.ie driend texting etc especially if u are a girl.
Met a lovely girl last nite and meeting her again tonight so u never know

bookiebasher

ha ha typying went wonky on last post..hope u got the jist

Nalz

Title: meeting people off the internet

Conclusion:...is too risky of a thing to do

challengemaster

Sure i've just recently made a very good friend via boards.ie who's in So Cal.*looks @ blue_lagoon*

She's great craic i must say, a great friend. Its nothing new really. Glad it worked out for you OP.

bookiebasher

Trilla wrote:

Title: meeting people off the internet

Conclusion:...is too risky of a thing to do

trilla u meet a person in a bar and u dont know a thing about them.On the net u get to know about them and get their number and text or ring before u meet up so sometimes its safer

Nalz

bookiebasher wrote:

trilla u meet a person in a bar and u dont know a thing about them.On the net u get to know about them and get their number and text or ring before u meet up so sometimes its safer

tit for tat there really, but on a whole Id rather judge somebody by their appearance, what they say face to face and the way they act in public as apposed to what they type on a screen or in a text message

bookiebasher

yes and u do that when u meet up after texting and ringing..not fighting with up just my way of thinking..xxx

Cutie18Ireland

I've met a good few people of the net, some good, some a little awkward but nothing too horrific! Met my current bf on faceparty and we've been going out for over 2 years now

I know some other people that have met their husbands online, was chatting about this in work the other day and they all thought it was weird, they'd never heard of anyone meeting off the net before..

Chinafoot

Meh I don't see the problem with meeting people from the net once you're not stupid about it - meet in a public place, always tell someone where you are going and never do anything you feel even the smallest bit uncomfortable with, etc, etc.

OP: Does it really matter what your friends think about how you met this girl? You get along well and you like each other. Whats the problem? Whatever goes on is between yourself and herself and not your mates.

Meeting people online is very common these days. I met my boyfriend through this website when we met at a forum beers after chatting for a few months. We clicked straight away and we're planning to move in together after christmas. How we met isn't an issue for either of us or our families or our friends.

Enjoy your time with this girl and if your mates act like dicks about it then tell them to shove it.

Nalz

thats all great, but the majority of peculiar stories when it comes to first dates and whatever seem to revert to i met him over net or i met him via an ad in paper? ah i suppose you can get lucky and in that case its similar if not better than meeting in real life. But trust me there is more bad stories than good, especially 3 or 4 years ago...

i agree with above though if ya got lucky and get on then there is no problem

LegacyUser

Well i see there is alot of interest in this thread. I see most of you believe that if it works it works and not to worry about circumstances. Im just excited about what to do now. Thanks alot for all your advice

Chinafoot

Trilla wrote:

thats all great, but the majority of peculiar stories when it comes to first dates and whatever seem to revert to i met him over net or i met him via an ad in paper? ah i suppose you can get lucky and in that case its similar if not better than meeting in real life. But trust me there is more bad stories than good, especially 3 or 4 years ago...

Oh I agree that there does seem to be more bad than good but to be honest, I've heard far more horror stories from people who met people in a pub/club than I have from people who met online. There is still a stigma attached to meeting people through the internet and yes there are plenty of nutters out there, but imo, it's this stigma that causes these horror stories to be highlighted more than pub/club bad experiences and more than the successful "we met online" stories.

You said yourself, "especially 3 or 4 years ago" and I agree. However, there is a lot more awareness among net users these days with regard to the possible dangers of meeting online and it is more common place these days than it was a few years ago. I think it also depends on the type of site used.

Anyway that's probably a debate for humanities and I think in the OP's case he should enjoy his time with the girl and ignore his mates if they act like fools.

Marksie

Trilla wrote:

But trust me there is more bad stories than good, especially 3 or 4 years ago...

Totally disagree.. i have met a lot of good friends online. But then again i never did listen to other peoples stories preferring to see for myself. I found it a very good way of "getting to know" someone in a long mail, before meeting.
And meeting was always i somewhere public like a restaurant. Rather than half cut in a bar or nightclub where judgement is out the window... particulalry when i was new to the country.

Well done OP..glad it went well..long may it continue.

Motley Crue

What to do ?? wrote:

What do people think about meeting people off the internet ?

why is this such a big issue. the internet is just another medium for communication, and yes chat rooms has given us bad impressions, but i have to say that i met a wonderful girl off the internet 18 months ago and we're still together and very much in love. it just happened to be luck in my case, because i had bad bad bad bad bad situations before as a result, but its a medium for meeting girls...and as far as i see it it helps people, i mean, ppl tell u that u'll never meet a girl who wants something beyond sex in a nightlclub. they tell u u'll never meet her in college. i just ask where the hell are u supposed to meet these girls u have meaningful relationships with. i met mine on the internet, shes not a freak, shes very sexy...and i love her and she loves me. go for it, and good luck

Raekwon

Last year I met a girl from Finland that I chatted with on MSN for a good few months. She was extremely funny, smart and unbelievably good looking.........way out of my league She told me one day that she was planning to move to Ireland because she applied for a few jobs here and she got alot of positive feedback. I knew we were never going to be more then friends but still I was so excited at the prospect of meeting her and possible becoming buddies with her. She arrived and we set a time and date to meet up for a few drinks, I arrived at the rendezvous point.....................and there she was standing there with some big Spanish dude! :rolleyes: (Oh, this might be a good time to mention that she has an obsession with southern European men). Anyway, to cut along story short, she still lives in Dublin and we have only ever met three times (including the first time), and according to my sources (and her blog) she has gone out with two Italians blokes and a Portuguese fella since she has been here and is now currently with some French dude.

Anyway OP, my point is, like in every other situation there are good and bad experiences, but I honestly don't see the big deal about meeting people from the internet. For the most part it is a great way of meeting interesting folk that you have alot incommon with. Just be careful (unlike me )

6th

jules80 wrote:

i met my guy on boards... and couldnt ask for better, but im just lucky i guess... god i love boards, just be careful, there are some weird people out there.... but sounds like you are lucky too!

Yes but you're in the great position of having your big brother as a poster on here!

scojones

I met alot of boardsies at the #boards beers a while back. I've also met other boards heads on other occasions, and I went to Berlin back over new years with about 30 people I had chatted online with for about 7 years.

Jules

6th wrote:

Yes but you're in the great position of having your big brother as a poster on here!

yes i know and i apperciate the looking out for me


and op, run with it, just like others have said be careful!!!

NoDayBut2Day

jules80 wrote:

yes i know and i apperciate the looking out for me but ur in a great position to be meeting him next month!!


and op, run with it, just like others have said be careful!!!

i have a friend who's being *stalked* by some crazy people he met on the internet, so again for the millionth time, i say "be careful!!!"

greenkittie

I have met alot more wierdos in pubs and clubs, than online. Met my best friend online, my housemates, my last boyfriend who i was with 2 years and a whole host of other people. For about every 20 people ive met i will find one person is just awkward in person and have made my excuses and left. Never met someone i actually thought was in any way a danger to me and this is after literally hundreds of people over the years.

Jules

NoDayBut2Day wrote:

i have a friend who's being *stalked* by some crazy people he met on the internet, so again for the millionth time, i say "be careful!!!"

na its not like that at all... but i do apperciate your point, there are crazy people out there, but if ya dont take a risk from time to time, if ya dont well you wont find the good stuff!

Talliesin

NoDayBut2Day wrote:

i have a friend who's being *stalked* by some crazy people he met on the internet, so again for the millionth time, i say "be careful!!!"

Happens with people you meet in other ways too though.

The advice in [thread=105620]this thread in the LGB forum[/thread] applies to everyone. The advice about having someone know where you are going and so on is something you'll hear all the time in the gay community, the BDSM community, other fetish communities and sometimes in some women's magazines, but the last few cases I know of that went badly in one way or another (luckily none of them near to as bad as things can go) involved straight vanilla men and they did seem to be completely unaware of what everyone else has come to regard as common sense because nobody's telling them this stuff.

Tar.Aldarion

In my experience it is grand. I've met over a hundred people off the net through various events and just meeting for a pint etc.

It's grand, as long as you are careful and you think they are sincere. I've been offered to stay places by people I have never met and they were not even around.
Anyway yeah, I've met some incredible people off the net.

Budd

Its a good way to meet likeminded people but as for meeting 'normal' people then I would say no. A certain type of person uses internet forums and they are most definitely a type and in a minority.

Tar.Aldarion

A lot of people will be similar all right, but I have met many types of people, and as for normal, what is that now? Heh.

LegacyUser

I think it's stupid to meet randomers off the internet you don't even know. Just me. But I've heard of people who have actually found life-partners over websites. And have been married for a few years now.

For me, I find even interacting with randomers over the internet is weird (even just on boards.ie) - i know what my friends/family would think of it! haha

Tar.Aldarion

Killaqueen!!!! wrote:

I think it's stupid to meet randomers off the internet you don't even know. Just me. But I've heard of people who have actually found life-partners over websites. And have been married for a few years now.

For me, I find even interacting with randomers over the internet is weird (even just on boards.ie) - i know what my friends/family would think of it! haha

How is it any different than meeting somebody in a pub/club or at a society, apart from the net is probably safer...

The only people I've met via the internet are on this site and I keep in contact with them for a reason-they're nice

Of course theres people I've met on boards that arent nice or that I think are twats etc but I put them on ignore and thats that.

Currently I've only 3 out of the tens of thousands of members of boards on ignore here and they are all moderators curiously enough.The ignore function is easier on the internet than real life.

I've not met as many as Tar-in fact I've probably only met 20 or 30 that I've had more than a one line conversation with at a boards beers for instance.Everyone I met at the last event,I'd gladly meet up with again as first impressions were they were all mighty sound.
Those I've kept in contact with outside of that are even more than sound in my opinion,they're cool.

So all in all a positive experience.

Killaqueen!!!

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

How is it any different than meeting somebody in a pub/club or at a society, apart from the net is probably safer...

Meeting people off the internet is safer than meeting people in real life? i don't even know if I should respond to that. Sorry - and don't mean to offend.

Owen

I've met some socially retarded people from the 'net, and I've met the most wonderful people. I met a beautiful girl, which blossomed into an offline friendship, into a relationship for a long time too, so the possibilities are endless. Sense still dictates what you do, meet in a public place, and have a friend scheduled to ring your mobile 15 mins later if you need a 'Get out of jail free card'

Tar.Aldarion

When you meet somebody in a club drunk, what do you know about them?
Nothing.
You meet somebody you have talked to on the net for a year, what do you know about them?

NoDayBut2Day

Budd wrote:

Its a good way to meet likeminded people but as for meeting 'normal' people then I would say no. A certain type of person uses internet forums and they are most definitely a type and in a minority.

Meeting "normal" people? Aren't we all a little "ab-normal" though?