I wish I hadn't said that....

daveg

Having breakfast in the canteen earlier this week with a few work colleages (1 male & 3 females). Commented that the other males uses his tray like a big plate and that we should get him a big bowl so his breakfast falls into the centre and then he could "lick it out". Queue the awkward silence and the stifled laughter from the rest of the people at the table and my red face. Obviously didn't mean it in a sexual way

Anyone else with a "wish I hadn't said that" story?

Huggles

heheh

In work a goo few weeks ago, a very professional organisation, I answered the phone on my desk with 'Good morning xtra vision killester'.................the job I did in College 5 years ago.

WTF, my colleagues are still laughing about it. I think I need more sleep.

SoupyNorman

Working with the oul lads decorating company a couple of years ago in a judges house, She was a very nice lady and came into the room to see how the work was progressing and just asked that we take care with her antique victorian bed when one of the lads thought it would be hilarious to reply;

"or she'll give us 6 months"

Me father nearly dropped his brush, P45.

Ro: maaan!

In work about a month ago. Phone rang. Glanced at the number. Thought it was a friend of mine's, who was out for lunch at the time. Answered the phone "Here you spanner head!". Turned out to be the boss's number. Very similar. Very funny.

bounty_hunter

A few months ago I was being plagued daily by prank calls from some eejit who thought he was hilarious, and decided one day I would answer the phone and just put it down somewhere for whoever it was to waste their credit talking to nobody. Needless to say, this just infuritated them, and they continued to call for another 20 minutes. I finally snapped and answered the phone with "Who the **** is this!?". Turns out this time it was somebody offering me a job. I remained unemployed.

LadyJ

See my original post on this thread:

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=250007


All these years and still it's no.1 thing I wish I hadn't said.

Rnger

getting a lift off the girlfriends dad. We start talking about how his mercedes thingy has been robbed of the hood of the car.

"And theyre really hard to pull off aswel"

why oh why did i say that

Idgeitman

My best childhood moment was in a church in belfast when i was a kid, the troubles were near the end and it was Christmas day.

I got a toy cap gun, and my dad let me bring it with me. But i insisted to leave the caps inside it.

Being a kid, I couldn't help but pull the trigger.

I must have freaked the s**t outa everyone in my side of the church. I asked my dad and couldn't figure out what i did wrong haha.

~ Idgeitman

Lust4Life

OP, in moments like these you must always remember the saving phrase "Oh! Did I say that with my OUTSIDE voice?":D

slipss

Three years ago i was going to my companies christmass party, my boss didn't drink and lived near by so he said he'd give me a lift in to the party, he was also giving a lift to another fella that lived near by and his daughter who was doing work expierience with the company that summer, this is the same daughter I'd been sleeping with since a week after she started working there. My boss was extremely protective of her and as far as he was concerned she was still his little princess that had never touched a drop of alcohol or even had a proper boyfriend.

About half way to the party the other fella who must have been out late the night before, fell asleep in the back of the jeep and started snoring really loud, we all were laughing and making jokes about him when my boss turns to his daughter and jokes "I don't know what your laughing at Ciara, you snore nearly as loud as that". Ciara looks a bit embarrased and says "Shut up Dad, no I don't". Then I, still laughing, without thinking turn and say "ah now Ciara, you do when you've been drinking". Cue the noise of brakes screaching followed by the sound of a pin dropping, as things turned out that was my last christmass working for that company.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

"Your bum would look big in a ****ing tent." Spent ages making up for it.

madhitchhiker

with a bad mood, i blew my co-worker's face off with a blatant answer when she jokingly said...'are you an asset?':eek:

i retorted, 'compare me to you, you're hundred of miles away to becoming an asset..should we prove?'

spent horrible times making up with her...:o

Miss Fluff

slipss wrote:

Three years ago i was going to my companies christmass party, my boss didn't drink and lived near by so he said he'd give me a lift in to the party, he was also giving a lift to another fella that lived near by and his daughter who was doing work expierience with the company that summer, this is the same daughter I'd been sleeping with since a week after she started working there. My boss was extremely protective of her and as far as he was concerned she was still his little princess that had never touched a drop of alcohol or even had a proper boyfriend.

About half way to the party the other fella who must have been out late the night before, fell asleep in the back of the jeep and started snoring really loud, we all were laughing and making jokes about him when my boss turns to his daughter and jokes "I don't know what your laughing at Ciara, you snore nearly as loud as that". Ciara looks a bit embarrased and says "Shut up Dad, no I don't". Then I, still laughing, without thinking turn and say "ah now Ciara, you do when you've been drinking". Cue the noise of brakes screaching followed by the sound of a pin dropping, as things turned out that was my last christmass working for that company.

ROFL

fade2black

daveg wrote:

Having breakfast in the canteen earlier this week with a few work colleages (1 male & 3 females). Commented that the other males uses his tray like a big plate and that we should get him a big bowl so his breakfast falls into the centre and then he could "lick it out". Queue the awkward silence and the stifled laughter from the rest of the people at the table and my red face. Obviously didn't mean it in a sexual way

Anyone else with a "wish I hadn't said that" story?

This story amuses me. Especially as I look at the forum you mod.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

slipss wrote:

Three years ago i was going to my companies christmass party, my boss didn't drink and lived near by so he said he'd give me a lift in to the party, he was also giving a lift to another fella that lived near by and his daughter who was doing work expierience with the company that summer, this is the same daughter I'd been sleeping with since a week after she started working there. My boss was extremely protective of her and as far as he was concerned she was still his little princess that had never touched a drop of alcohol or even had a proper boyfriend.

About half way to the party the other fella who must have been out late the night before, fell asleep in the back of the jeep and started snoring really loud, we all were laughing and making jokes about him when my boss turns to his daughter and jokes "I don't know what your laughing at Ciara, you snore nearly as loud as that". Ciara looks a bit embarrased and says "Shut up Dad, no I don't". Then I, still laughing, without thinking turn and say "ah now Ciara, you do when you've been drinking". Cue the noise of brakes screaching followed by the sound of a pin dropping, as things turned out that was my last christmass working for that company.

Hang on... did said Dad not askhow you KNEW his daughter snored louder when she was drinking than when she wasn't...?

6th

TheGooner wrote:

heheh

In work a goo few weeks ago, a very professional organisation, I answered the phone on my desk with 'Good morning xtra vision killester'.................the job I did in College 5 years ago.

WTF, my colleagues are still laughing about it. I think I need more sleep.

I did that when i moved from my part-time job in woodies to my first real job ... very embarrassing.

I also answered the phone once with "hi babe" I thought it was my wife - turns out it was the bank

jdivision

Boss's going away party and I get really drunk and loudly declare that I f**king hate the place I work for and the new boss. He was standing behind my right shoulder. Didn't talk to me for six months afterwards either

arseagon

Was walking a girl home one night and was a wee bit on the drunk side. Blurted out that I didn't mind having sex with her even if she was "just" a checkout girl.
Needless to say, I wasn't walking any further with her. Doh!

Dave!

Hah, that reminds me of a few weeks ago, walkin home from a club with my brother and 2 of my mates, some drunken girl said to us (probably bein friendly), "are you goin to the bowler?!", and I blurted out for some reason "No, cos I'm not a SLAPPER!"



No reason to say it, but it came out! Cue brother and mates tryin to stop her kickin me in the balls, while I fail to see the problem.

Close call

Siogfinsceal

few weeks ago my boyf was watching football liverpool vs macedoina something like that. Anyway I asked 'So is this game being played in macedonia then' and he replied yes so I replied 'f*cks sake its not very sunny there is it?'. Poor guy gave me a worried look and explained where Macedonia is and the fact that the game was being played at 8pm!!

I have also been known to say some incredibly odd things in my sleep the most famous being my 'lidl' speech which I have never been allowed to forget aparently I rambled on for a while and then sat up in bed and declared ' you know theres 2 types of people in this world - those that have to shop in lidl and those that choose to shop in lidl - and im one of those people'

Tar.Aldarion

Lmao at your speech embee.

Once When I was playing poker I said quote instead of raise (quote 1000), I turned of boards after that...


Also, woke up in bed two weeks back. When I went to bed there were three of us in the room. Long time friends. A guy( My best friend) in the corner and a girl shared my bed. We had got closer in the pub on the way home but I shrugged it off as drink. When I woke up at 7am I soon discovered that me and the friend were more than friends with a development. Three hours later and my male friend woke up. I was wrecked, half asleep and shouted 'How did you not hear us? She was so loud!'.
I was referring to when I had been tickling her just previously. Don't think she was quite er happy, private person, and I was rather embarrassed.



(:

Rockiemalt

At my friends house having and barbq and my friends older brother asked me What sort of meat did i eat when I wasn't a veggie.....

I misheard him and thought he asked why was I a veggie....


I answered My ex boyfriend....

it took me a second to realise what i had jsut said and everyone jsut stared at me then cracked up...

Sparky

Friend took out a frozen box of sasuage rolls from the fridge one day. She dropped it on the floorby accident then picked it up.

I said "ah your box is all hairy".

Me not thinking too quick, she laughed. Then I realised what I just said.

cournioni

I was working one morning after being out on an absolute rip the night before and was just discussing what all happened with colleagues across the desk from me. I was telling them all of the usual stuff about who was out, what happened and all of that. I then got into a discussion about what I was drinking. Which is normal enough... I said "ooooh Jack Daniels all bloody night", cue laughter from my pesky colleagues poking fun at the state of me.

Next minute the phone rang, and still thinking about the subject we had spoken about answered the phone using the words "Jack Daniels and c... oh I mean DES Ltd!". Colleagues nearly wet themselves with the laughter, and I was left with quite a red face.

Pope Benny.

In a speech last week, I cited a Medieval text that characterized some of the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad as "evil and inhuman," particularly "his command to spread by the sword the faith."

Little did I know about the ****storm that would follow. The Muslims went berserk. I was getting threatening phone calls, dirty looks on the street and worst of all the kebab shop down the road refuse to deliver my nightly shish kebab anymore. Anyway I said Sunday that I was "deeply sorry" that the Muslims took offense, and stressed that the emperor's words did not reflect my own opinion.

Too little too late apparently. Won't be making any more speeches in a while!lol!

grumpytrousers

arf. that was worth setting up a user id for. may you get many more uses out of it!

kittenkiller

Pope Benny. wrote:

In a speech last week, I cited a Medieval text that characterized some of the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad as "evil and inhuman," particularly "his command to spread by the sword the faith."

Little did I know about the ****storm that would follow. The Muslims went berserk. I was getting threatening phone calls, dirty looks on the street and worst of all the kebab shop down the road refuse to deliver my nightly shish kebab anymore. Anyway I said Sunday that I was "deeply sorry" that the Muslims took offense, and stressed that the emperor's words did not reflect my own opinion.

Too little too late apparently. Won't be making any more speeches in a while!lol!

That's great!
I'm always saying stuff that I wish I hadn't.
I seem to take it as a challenge to out gross people.

ONly the other week I yelled after my boss "Enjoy your cockatoo" as she left for the weekend.
She had recently aquired a new pet bird.
Still, didn't sound the best out of context.

WhiteWashMan

i did answer the phone one time when i wasw seing a girl called nicki, and had a conversation with her for 5 minutes before i realised i thought i was tlaking to a another girl of the same, who i had fancied for ages.

needless to say, the girl on the phone was wondering why i was asking about hockey and stuff, when she was a chef.

i stated ignoring all her calls and i dont think i saw her again.

i still cringe now when i think about how stupid i can be sometimes

The_Minister

A friend and I were playing pool, and I asked what the chalk was for.
Friend: "It's to improve contact between the cue and the white ball"
Me: "What about all the other balls?"

littlebug

After an amicable split an ex- boyfriend was helping me move my stuff to a new flat in Dublin. Unfortunately his car got broken into and a a bag containing his socks and underwear was stolen. Being nice I went off to Dunnes and bought him some new stuff. There were 2 other friends there when I got back to the flat and the ex was very thankful and saying how nice of me it was to do that, shouldn't have etc etc..

ME with my oh I'm so nice smile on: "well we can't have you going without sex can we.....ummmmm...... I mean socks....". Cue much laughter and a very red faced me.

sioda

When i was younger my aunt was pregnant and my Gran 80 at the time had always being a stout woman so being young and innocent I strolls over and goes Granny are you pregnant?

My father just grabbed me and legged it before he exploded laughing

WunderFull

Where do I begin... 2 guys from sitting at computers, I was going to stand on one of the tables to open the window... and said out loud "Hmmm, which one will I get up on?".
Mortification.



(Can't gte better innuendo: http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainbow_tv_episode.html)

Pherekydes

A number of years ago I rang into work and my boss was handed the phone with "it's slowcoach*". He took the phone and said to me, "You can't have a sick day, there's nothing wrong with you, you have half an hour to get in here" (jokingly of course). After a pregnant pause, he said "Well what's wrong with you today?" and I answered, "My father died this morning".






*slowcoach is not my real name

Piste

My friend was moaning about his looks to me and wailed "I'm Mutt-ugly!" to which I replied "you're not MUTT ugly..."

There's not much of a save for that one...

Pigman II

Slow coach wrote:

"My father died this morning".

Yeah, I wouldn't have liked to have had to say that either.

Slippin Jimmy

I think it had to be today. I have been going out with my girlfriend for about 5 months now. I was really pissed off at her for various reasons. But when I taught about it later none of them were her fault. Anyway,we were standing at the bus stop in Navan waiting for the bus for her friend to come. I turned around and said to her that I think its best we end it. She turned around to her friend and said "Im going home." She walked off in the direction of her house. I stood there with my mate and her friend ran after her. She came back to me and said shes not comming back. Well I tell you know, I pegged it down Watergate Street as quick as I could.

I caught up beside her and told her that I was sorry and didn't mean it. She said she wanted to go home and to get out of her way. I wudn't take no for an answer, and I got her to look me in the eye and I told her that I loved her and that I was sorry. This went on for about 2 minutes straight. After a while the two of us walked back to the bus stop and started talking. I felt really bad for saying it because I am crazy about her and she didn't deserve that. I love her very much and it was just awful what I said.

So thats my addition to the worst thing you ever said, because basically it was.

Peteee

I love you

Piste

DonnybrookGhost wrote:

I think it had to be today. I have been going out with my girlfriend for about 5 months now. I was really pissed off at her for various reasons. But when I taught about it later none of them were her fault. Anyway,we were standing at the bus stop in Navan waiting for the bus for her friend to come. I turned around and said to her that I think its best we end it. She turned around to her friend and said "Im going home." She walked off in the direction of her house. I stood there with my mate and her friend ran after her. She came back to me and said shes not comming back. Well I tell you know, I pegged it down Watergate Street as quick as I could.

I caught up beside her and told her that I was sorry and didn't mean it. She said she wanted to go home and to get out of her way. I wudn't take no for an answer, and I got her to look me in the eye and I told her that I loved her and that I was sorry. This went on for about 2 minutes straight. After a while the two of us walked back to the bus stop and started talking. I felt really bad for saying it because I am crazy about her and she didn't deserve that. I love her very much and it was just awful what I said.

So thats my addition to the worst thing you ever said, because basically it was.

You broke up with someone IN FRONT of their friend? :eek:

tman

This one time... Tar called Siogfinsceal "embee"
I was all, like:p :eek:

bounty_hunter

tman wrote:

This one time... Tar called Siogfinsceal "embee"
I was all, like:p :eek:

I was going to point that out but my connection went down and I couldn't be arsed by the time it was back up. For shame!

Tar.Aldarion

tman wrote:

This one time... Tar called Siogfinsceal "embee"
I was all, like:p :eek:

Shut up.

brown*eyed*girl

Getting lunch the other day in busy bar & was being served by a really sexy barman & lots of builders in the queue behind me. Barman asks me do I want brown bread or a roll with my soup. I say roll & the barman says they're a bit hard & would I prefer brown bread. I say really loudly & enthusiastically that "I love them hard and the harder the better". I had only finished the sentence when I realised himself & all the queue had taken it up the dirty way. I was very but in fairness it was funny

TequilaMockingBird

My mother had been ill and was sent down to Cork Hospital from Clare, my boss was great and gave me time off to stay in Cork with her. When we got home Mum was great, but I was knackered so I thought I'd stretch it out and take another day or two off. My boss rang to see how mum was, I said we were still in hospital for another few days, but I'd be back to work then. Put the phone down and realised she had rang the landline...in Clare... :eek:
A little awkward going back to work...