whats the largest animal you could kill with your bare hands

Flat

basically what is the largest animal you think you could kill with your bare hands... no weapons allowed, this is purely hypothetical and I dont condone violence against animals in any way

after some discussion with my mates about this I have come to the conclusion, the largest animal I could kill with my bare hands would be a cow... cause they are totally passive, very stupid and never fight back, and they cant run that fast.. .but it would take about 5 hours

My mate reckons he could kill a giraffe, he has obviously never seen one up close

Zombienosh

Yore ma!





*it had to be said... tbh

Karl Hungus

Flat wrote:

My mate reckons he could kill a giraffe, he has obviously never seen one up close

A giraffe can kill a man with one kick apparently.

I'd say I could kill a whale with my bare hands though. You could probably tear through it's eyeball and rip at it's brain fairly easily.

manonthemoon

Karl Hungus wrote:

A giraffe can kill a man with one kick apparently.

I'd say I could kill a whale with my bare hands though. You could probably tear through it's eyeball and rip at it's brain fairly easily.

I thiink this is you have an illegal advantage here. Obviously you are taking on the whale here, when he is on land. I dont think a man could kill a whale while he was in the sea. Unless he was a very small whale. But I think think the question is for a n adult animal and in their natural surroundings.

As for the OP, a cow maybe but what about a bull?

Sangre

Karl Hungus wrote:

A giraffe can kill a man with one kick apparently.

I'd say I could kill a whale with my bare hands though. You could probably tear through it's eyeball and rip at it's brain fairly easily.

Why don't you just put a hand over the blow hole?

Anyway, a giraffe? Is he mad? He wouldnt even be able to jump up to touch its belly.

Karl Hungus

manonthemoon wrote:

I thiink this is you have an illegal advantage here. Obviously you are taking on the whale here, when he is on land. I dont think a man could kill a whale while he was in the sea. Unless he was a very small whale. But I think think the question is for a n adult animal and in their natural surroundings.

No, I'd say it's very possible in the sea no matter how big the whale, all you'd need to do is hold your breath long enough to burst it's eyeball and tear into it's brain.

manonthemoon

Karl Hungus wrote:

No, I'd say it's very possible in the sea no matter how big the whale, all you'd need to do is hold your breath long enough to burst it's eyeball and tear into it's brain.

Why burst its eyeball, would you not just go for the brain?

Flat

manonthemoon wrote:

I thiink this is you have an illegal advantage here. Obviously you are taking on the whale here, when he is on land. I dont think a man could kill a whale while he was in the sea. Unless he was a very small whale. But I think think the question is for a n adult animal and in their natural surroundings.

As for the OP, a cow maybe but what about a bull?

aye adult specimen in its natural environment

no I couldnt kill a bull only a very stupid cow...

connundrum

Flat wrote:

basically what is the largest animal you think you could kill with your bare hands...

A Silver Backed Jackal tbh. 61.5% more vicious than it looks. Honest

Dave!

I could kick some kangaroo ass.

TerrorFirmer

50 rabid kittens.

Smellyirishman

This yoke.

MooseJam

I've fought more than one ligers and won

Unpossible

No, I'd say it's very possible in the sea no matter how big the whale, all you'd need to do is hold your breath long enough to burst it's eyeball and tear into it's brain.

I think the size and type of whale would matter a lot, as well as where the fight is taking place. Whales can dive to depths that can easily crush you, they can swim faster than you and I would love to see how you manage to hang onto the whales head/face.

I heard a story of a surfer who inadvertantly (and luckily for him) killed a shark by hanging onto its tail, the shark kept trying to bite him and drowned itself. I'd love to know if it really did happen.

btw, where are we in relation to the animal we are about to kill? does the fight start with us squaring off? or do we get to hid in a tree and jump on it?

Flat

Unpossible wrote:

btw, where are we in relation to the animal we are about to kill? does the fight start with us squaring off? or do we get to hid in a tree and jump on it?

no starting point as such, like it wouldnt be you and an animal thrown into an arena... the animal is in its natural environment and you get any advantage realistically possible by sneaking up on it, jumping out of a tree etc

you cant use weapons, you are naked, all you got is your ticker and your bare hands and feet, you can use the terrain to your advantage, but cant use it to kill the animal, so you cant drown it or run it of a cliff, you have to beat it to death, serious injury through use of terrain is also forbidden, as well as primitive weapons like rocks and sticks

what does a giant python weigh?.. you could prob take one of them out with a well aimed jump on the head

bounty

anything i can kill with one stamp is fine... i wouldnt use my hands, or even look at it

oRlyYaRly

I don't even have the heart to kill spiders on purpose.

But if I was less... weird, I be I could take out a fat kid.

The Sweeper

I think I could tackle a Flat, justabout.

Tar.Aldarion

A human.

Ruu_Old

I once armwrestled a grizzly bear, lost but we were good friends after that.

Fast_Mover

hmm..probably a medium sized dog..:)

Tar.Aldarion

Fast_Mover wrote:

hmm..probably a medium sized dog..:)

Hah, I can picture a slightly larger than average dog defeating you.

arseagon

I reckon I could easily handle a bull. All you have to do is wait till really late at night, sneak up on them and tip them over. Bull tipping instead of cow tipping

Fast_Mover

I was gona say a large sized dog, but didn't want to get ahead of myself!!:D

And I do think I could defeat it..and if im not, im able to run fast thank god:)

The Bollox

AlcoholicA wrote:

Yore ma!





*it had to be said... tbh

that works in this context in so many ways

I would not have the heart to kill something. If I really wanted to I suppoe I could kill any big passive animal, work on it's legs first, so it can't get away, and then work on it's head

Rhyme

A shark... if i can get this to work.

In reality, some kind of large rodent... anything i can move it by kicking.

Dooom

Penguins.

Other than that I'd be fairly confident that if I were to creep up on a sleeping lion (it's all the bàstards do all day long) and was armed with a hefty enough metal bar, I'd be able to beat it into submission.
Course if it woke up, I'd just kick it in the nads as hard as possible and run like fun.

Win-win eitherway really.

smackbunnybaby

i was watching a nature show once about polar bears and they are seen as one of the most vicious of all animals.they can kill blue whales and that is seen (according to the program) as the biggest difference in size between a hunter and its prey.

since whales are mammels and have to come to the surface for air the polar bear can either wait for it to surface or else it can dive in into the water as they are powerful swimmers themselves.with its sharp claws it rips open the whales "blow hole" - preventing it from breathing properly.

so if you have sharp claws you should be able to perform this quite easily.

SpAcEd OuT

I reckon I could take Mary Harney

arseagon

SpAcEd OuT wrote:

I reckon I could take Mary Harney

You lie!!! nobody could take that!

nacho libre

I once saw a guy breaking the two front legs of an Alsatian who had lept at him.

Nala

Some of the answers so far have been hilarious.

A cow??? How in the name of God could you kill a cow with no weapons? They weigh at least 5 or 6 times as much as a person! All they'd have to do would be to give you a few kicks or roll on you! Lions hunt zebras (smaller than cows), they have huge teeth and claws and weigh up to about 35 stone and THEY can't always kill them!

And dogs? A dog could very easily knock you over and go for yout throat.

Humans have **** all natural weapons. Most of our teeth are blunt, our nails are not strong enough to latch into flesh and we are by no means quick on our feet compared to animals either (cats are about a tenth of our size but they can outrun us). We can only jump about half our own height ( a rabbit can jump 3 times his own height). We only survived because of our brains!!!

Black Swan

Karl Hungus wrote:

I'd say I could kill a whale with my bare hands though. You could probably tear through it's eyeball and rip at it's brain fairly easily.

That's a whale of a tale.

Nala

Nala wrote:

Humans have **** all natural weapons. Most of our teeth are blunt, our nails are not strong enough to latch into flesh and we are by no means quick on our feet compared to animals either (cats are about a tenth of our size but they can outrun us). We can only jump about half our own height ( a rabbit can jump 3 times his own height). We only survived because of our brains!!!

Pfff. Other animals are severely lacking in their elbow-drop abilities, the amateurs.

Dooom

Yeah, and when was the last time you saw a panther Stone-Cold an eagle?

Terry

i regularly choke my chicken.

Dooom

Get off the doorstep you.

daiixi

I think I could get one up on a julep.. especially while it's chocking its chicken. :eek:

Supercell

Spike wrote:

Yeah, and when was the last time you saw a panther Stone-Cold an eagle?

Lollers, thats telling him!

As long as the other animal didn't attack me and food supply was plentyful I reckon I could kill any animal, would just outlive them - wait till they become old and decrepid and then kill em off.

Should work for most maybe except any vicious tortoises!

JC 2K3

Dooom

I'd imagine your nails would be far too brittle to actually inflict much damage. Could still scratch a bit though..but that's not much use against a pissed off rhino. Nor is biting.

Kick in the nads ftw.

projectmayhem

a dragon.

Lust4Life

Does letting a 5 foot Iguana slip out of your hands and get loose in the great outdoors count? If yes, then I've done that. It's surely dead by now. Went up a tree two years ago and blended in.


If that doesn't count, then just bugs, hornets and house flies.

Terry

Lust4Life wrote:

Does letting a 5 foot Iguana slip out of your hands and get loose in the great outdoors count? If yes, then I've done that. It's surely dead by now. Went up a tree two years ago and blended in.


If that doesn't count, then just bugs, hornets and house flies.

Jub Jub?

Barry.S

I once took down a helicopter full of elephants with nothing but an eyebrow hair and my schlong, Macguyver style :cool:

Dirk Gently

Flat wrote:

basically what is the largest animal you think you could kill with your bare hands... no weapons allowed

Michael McDowell

abetarrush

yer ma




leave the animal alone. actually, dont, kill them, start with a lion, why not kick it in the balls first, go on, show us how manly you really are

DonkeyStyle \o/

I'd try crawling up a hippos ass and eating my way out.

GerryRyan

I'd say I'd take a kangaroo. It'd be a fair match.

Humans have definite advantage in this. While it's the animals could be vicious, we have more developed brains. Result = we'd be sneakier.

JC 2K3

This

bluto63

A dog about the size of a golden retriever

ThatGuy wrote:

I'd say I'd take a kangaroo. It'd be a fair match.

Don't you people realise that kangaroos are amazing boxers? They could rule the world if they wanted...

JC 2K3 wrote:

This

Awwwww...I couldn't kill that!