In need of HELP...if that's okay.

SingingCherry

Hi,

I read the charter and it didn't say anything about not posting for some help starting a diet so I hope this is alright to post.

I'm female 25, 5'5'' and around 250lbs. I have about zero motivation for exercise and I have no idea where to get it from. My husband offered to go on nightly walks, and we did it for about a week and then we stopped, mostly because I wasn't in the mood. He's fitter than I am, and can walk for longer and I just got tired. Not his fault at all, he was just trying to help.

I have gone to weight watchers in the past and while it was good at first, I end up slipping. I like pizza and chinese and I like pasta and I'm not sure how to give them up. I need food that is easy and tasty to make but healthy. I feel badly having my husband eat blah sort of fun because he would feel badly eating the fun stuff in front of me!

Also, I don't have enough money to join a gym (that I will inevitably won't go to) or join one of those weight loss programmes like dnc.ie or curves. I wish I did, but we don't!

Any help would be appreciated. I am desparate to lose weight because I am just massively uncomfortable in my own skin.


Thanks,
SC

Dragan

SingingCherry wrote:

I am desparate to lose weight because I am just massively uncomfortable in my own skin.

So this needs to become your motivation to lose weight, and you need to work on turning that desperation into determination.

You don't need to give up the foods that you like….there is no surer way to fail than to completely deny what you crave. You just need to control your intake of these foods, and you need to use them sparingly to reward yourself for victories that you achieve as you try and lose weight!

Believe me when I say that you really can change your behaviour when it comes to this type of thing. I can now go for months at a time without eating anything that would be considered "bad", whereas before I would have eating garbage everyday.

It does happen, but it takes time and effort and work but it is worth it! You don't need to join a gym, not at this stage, just walking will be enough….get youself into habits of eating right and excercising for certain times of the day and we can build on that.

If this sounds like an approach you are willing to take I would ask you to post your current diet…..and be totally honest with yourself. Sometimes just writing out what you can eat in day can be enough of a shock.

Besides, you will need to learn to be totally honest with yourself while you try and lose the weight!

SingingCherry

Okay... diet...right.

Morning:
-1 bowl of Cherrios or some other type of cereal. Sometimes it's bran flakes, sometimes it's cocopops. Depends on the mood, although right now I am off cocopops. All "boring" cereals get a coating of sugar on top.
-Cup of tea with skim milk in it and Splenda. Why do I bother with the Splenda if I put sugar on the cereal? Even I'm not clear on that logic.
-Sometimes a glass of smoothie from Innocent. I think getting fruit in is a good idea.
-Latte with park fat milk in it from O'Briens.

Lunch:
-Usually a ham and cheese sandwich (although today we had no ham so I didn't bother). Sometimes an egg mayonaise.
-1 bag of hoops
-Today I had a string cheese
-1 can of Diet Coke (Imagine how big I would be if it was full fat coke!)

Snack:
-Usually some biscuits (rich tea or Kimberly's) and tea through out the day because it's provided by the company in our kitchen. The tea usually has sugar in it since the kitchen doesn't have splenda and part fat milk or skim)

Dinner: Depends on the day really. Lately we have had a lot of pasta with chicken or beef in it. Other days it's pizza or chinese because we're lazy. I think tonight we're having turkey made on the George with potatos (likely) and some salad stuffs we have in the fridge.
-Glass of full, fat, full calorie, full of fun coke!

Snacks (yes, again!):
-Maybe a mars bar or something else sweet
-Possibly another drink of smoothie
-Maybe some cheese. I love cheese.

I can see the problems, but I... don't know what to do about them. Like, carrots for a snack is awful! 1. I don't like carrots, 2. It's not tasty! You see my problem?

Thanks so much for the reply and I really need to TRY to stay motivated! But how do you do that in the rain?

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

seamus

SingingCherry wrote:

Like, carrots for a snack is awful! 1. I don't like carrots, 2. It's not tasty! You see my problem?

You're dead right. Any attempt to forcefeed yourself a diet that you either don't like or that's boring will eat away at your motivation. Soon enough you'll find yourself treating yourself to a big greasy chinese once a week, then twice a week, then....

The main problems which seem to crop up from your diet are fat and sugar. These are both highly addictive. The more sugary food you eat, the more you want to eat, and the same with fatty foods. Foods lower in fat and sugar then don't give you the kick you need, and you find yourself snacking on something sugary to satisfy the urge.

The only method I've found to work is complete cold turkey. Using sugar substitutes only removes the sugar element - the cravings persist and you'll find yourself pigging out on biscuits when in a friend's house.

Give yourself two weeks. Remove all sugary and fatty foods from the house. Just bin them, and don't buy any more. Throw out all your jars of dolmio and other pasta sauces. They're chocked full of crap. Stop buying normal coke. It doesn't magically appear in your kitchen ,so if you don't buy it, it won't be there to drink. Make a pact with yourself (and with your husband) that you will cook yourself a meal every evening using fresh vegetables, and as little grease as possible (try and grill as much as you can). Get rid of the cereals that cosmo tells you to eat. Bran flakes do taste like ****. You only have to do this for two weeks. Cooking a good meal takes about as long as the chinese does to arrive, and you're not wasting your time vegging in front of the telly.
On the weekend, go out and enjoy yourself, have a few drinks, and resist the urge to get a chipper afterwards (or a chinese beforehand). Two words should haunt you for the two weeks - "Why" and "No". If someone offers you food, or you feel like a snack, you ask yourself why you want it and why it can't wait till later. If you can't come up with a good reason, you say No.

Drink lots of water. Lots and lots. Have a 500ml bottle in work on your desk. Whenever you feel like a cup of tea, go and fill up your water bottle. By all means have the odd cup of tea, with a spoon of sugar in it, but you don't need one every hour.

I've been huge and eating lots of crap, and unable to cotrol myself. I'm by no means a masterpiece of human form now, but I have control over my eating. It's 90% habit. After two weeks of this, you'll find yourself more in control. Your sugar and fat cravings will fade within a couple of days, and you'll slowly find yourself stronger at saying "no" and feeling good about yourself each time you do it. Ask your partner to support you. Someone to back you up and to help you control yourself is a godsend at the start.

You need to change your mindset on the idea too. I get the feeling that when you start a diet, you go into with "Ugh, I have to eat crap I don't like now, and I have to do it forever. There's no way I can stay on this, but I really should.". If you think like that, you're finished, and you may as well not bother starting. Instead think, "OK, two weeks. I can do this. What's two weeks? Before you know it, I'll be feeling great and saving money at the same time. Sure, there's a chance I may not feel any better at the end, but why not give it a blast anyhow?". Even try and set a milestone - "I'm going for dinner with my family in two weeks. I'll just stick to eating healthy until then, see how I get on, and I can enjoy my meal at the end because I've earned it, instead of feeling guilty about ordering dessert."

Exercise: Don't worry about it for the moment. Someone else said here recently that weight loss is 90% diet, 10% exercise. Despite what the magazines tell you, you can lose weight, and healthily, without exercising.

[Rambling on a bit here]
I'll try alter your existing diet a bit to give you an idea of the small changes you can make.:

Morning:
-Bowl of Corn Flakes or Rice Krispies, without sugar. Personally, rice krispies are the more tempting of the two, but they both have sugar already in them, so they're quite sweet. Anything that tastes like cardboard (Bran flakes, shredded wheat, etc) should be avoided. Use Semi-skimmed milk. It's pretty much indistuingishable from full fat milk, and doesn't look like you're pouring white water on your breakfast.
-Cup of tea. Semi-skimmed milk in it. Splenda if you wish, but if you do without, you'll get used to drinking tea without any sweetener very quickly.
-A smoothie if you wish.
-No Latte. You've just had a cup of tea. What's the latte giving you?

Lunch:
-Sandwich. Brown bread. Ham is fine, a small amount of cheese is fine. Avoid anything mixed with mayonnaise, or cooked in grease. Try padding it out with lettuce.
-No crisps. Will you really feel any less hungry with a bag of hula hoops?
-1 can of Diet Coke.

Snack:
-Water. Yes, it's boring but it's also addictive. A couple of days and you'll fidn yourself ignoring everything else and going for the water.

Dinner: As I said above, cook it yourself. Fresh veg, fresh meat (grilled where possible). You can use powdered flavourings or jars of pureed vegetables to flavour them.
- Glass of water.

Snacks (yes, again!):
-Smoothie
-Low fat yoghurt
-Fruit

t-ha

Hey SingingCherry,

As for motivation, gym fees etc. I would say that you've already logged onto the internet actively seeking help - that means that your size is bugging you enough to do something about it & that's the right mental attitude to get started with. Obviously you won't feel motivated to exercise right away, your diet probably doesn't help you to feel energetic & your extra bodyweight will make exercise more difficult for you than (for example) your husband. The trick is to work things at your own pace, so for example, if you are walking with your husband - dictate the pace yourself & keep it so you're breathing more heavily than normal but not too much faster. You are not trying to get yourself completely out of breath! In any event, by far the biggest issue to get right if you want to lean up, is your diet (which can be done right rain or no rain ).

Sorting your diet out - well there is alot of info in the stickies about how to do this, but I'll just say the following;
1] If you do this right, your body will respond.
2] Keep a food log, even if only for a month. This is incredibly important in my opinion, many people don;t want to do this as they think it is too much hassle, but I believe it's one of the best time investments you will ever make. This log will show up clearly where you are making mistakes (for example a mars bar has a ginormous amount of calories in it, many of them from fats & sugar which are a bad combination!). I know people who ate thin-based pizzas for dinner in the evening believing them to be low-carb due to the thin base. The pizza turned out to be 910kcals (about 100g carbs, 40g fat), & this same person had claimed a total daily intake of about 900kcals when I was trying to make out a diet for them!
3] Keep a food log for a month. I'm aware that I said that already but I'm doing it again for emphasis. This way you can tot up how many calories you've been eating each day, and be totally sure that you are reducing them as needed if the weight isn't shifting. If you leave it to guess work most heavy people will underestimate how many calories they consume, & most skinny people will over-estimate it. Keep a food log & keep the guess work out of it. Why be so precise - well refer to point [1], if you do this right your body will respond to it. People who give out that their body's do not respond are probably making some mistake that a food log would highlight.
4] Keep portions of carby foods (pasta, bread, rice etc.) small enough that you feel energetic after eating them and not sleepy. Have more of these kinds of food in the morning than in the evening (unless you're training or something, most people need less energy foods in the evening) and in general have less calories in the evening. Eat only complex carbs (wholegrain bread, oats, wholewheat pastas & rices etc.).
5] Cutting calories can make you feel hungry in the first few days. Chewing gum and various teas, like green tea, that are drunk without milk & sugar are your friends!
6] Eat lots of whole vegetables with most of your meals. They are very healthy for a variety of reasons, but one big thing about them for dieting is that they can fill you up despite not having much calories in them.
7] Don't kill yourself with how little you eat and how much walking you do initially - this never leads to long-term success. Calculating from your height I wouldn't start out lower than about 1600 kcals/day.

Also this was posted here recently, and has a link to a free nutrition course by Dr. John Berardi (who is quite a big cheese in the sports nutrition field, & I know how much you like cheese ). I've only looked at day 1, as he basically gives you one lesson per day via e-mail, but I'm sure by the end of the 8 lessons you'll have some valuable info.

Edit: damn you all with your fast typing.

iregk

Right well your problem is the amount you eat and the choice. Drop the sugar from the cerial and tea. Also for the cerial go for something on the lines of special k or bran flakes. No cocopops.

Instead of a ham and cheese sandwich have a blt or what ever but no cheese or egg salad! Make sure your sandwich consists of brownbread as well no white!

Get rid of the snacks. Cheese strings, hoops etc... and basically cheese in general.

For dinner where are your vegtables? Eat less pasta and completely cut out the take away and chineese. Also have water with dinner instead of coke. You have no idea how bad coke is!

Lastly, dont get fed up, dont get lazy, go out with your hubbie and start walking again. Get a step counter and try to walk more steps the next time and build up. Give yourself time and you will loose the weight but the one thing you need to do is look at this advice and say ok lets go. Don't say: "he's basically told me to give up everything i like so sod that!"

SingingCherry

Thanks for all of the helpful advice from everyone. I certainly intend to heed a lot of it. I really like the idea for a food log, it's been very helpful in the past because I view it as a challenge. The water by my desk is good, as well. I'm still here sipping on the Diet Coke from lunch but I'll go upstairs and get a water when I am done. I'll bring a bottle in tomorrow.

The things I do find as obsticles is trying to to affect my husband. He is 100% supportive with anything I want to do and would give them up if asked, but I feel badly taking coke out of the house because he drinks it, as well as other things that are obviously bad for a diet but he happens to like. I can't deprive him because of my problem, you know? I need to learn to resist the urge to have them.

iregk wrote:

Get rid of the snacks. Cheese strings, ... and basically cheese in general.

So... can I or can I not have some of the things I like, as Seamus said? I have no problems giving up hoops and the like but Cheese... you're killing me!

iregk wrote:

For dinner where are your vegtables? Eat less pasta and completely cut out the take away and chineese. Also have water with dinner instead of coke. You have no idea how bad coke is!

Is salad not considered veggies anymore? It sounds stupid, but I'm serious. I would put lettuce, cucumbers (which I happen to love), and peppers in it.

Thanks again,

SC

Mo-Mo

Something I've come to realise about food is that what you eat is based on habit and that all habits can be broken and replaced by better ones. I eat ice-cream after my dinner because it’s habit. That latte in the morning – habit. Now I have 3-4 cups of green tea a day and more protein with each meal etc. because I bit by bit made them a habit.

I have a friend who is constantly talking about wanting to lose weight. Her attitude is that if I haven't reached my goal weight by next month I'm not going to bother and so she goes on unrealistic restrictive diets for about 3 days. I keep telling her that she should aim to be that weight by next year not next month. Otherwise we'll be having the same conversation when we're 29, and when we're 30, and 31 etc. etc. etc.

Assuming you're not morbidly obese what is wrong with making a long term commitment that is full of small goals.

Replace one snack a day with carrot and celery sticks, or oak cakes and cottage cheese, or pitta bread and hummus and if you're struggling with that continue struggling with just that until you like the taste and it is a daily habit.

If you replace all your meals with food you don’t like in one go you’re doomed to failure.

Then look at your lunch. 4 days a week replace your unhealthy lunch with a healthier one and if you need a small amount of mayonnaise in your sandwich then so be it, once it becomes habit and you find you prefer the taste of wholemeal bread to white (and you will) then cut out the mayonnaise and introduce a new veg you previously wouldn’t eat

Again with your dinner have a pizza and a Chinese once a week each but learn to cook new foods on other days until you actually enjoy these new healthier foods and enjoy cooking them.

Some people here might disagree completely and say the OP’s diet is a disaster she needs to change everything but I would say change one major thing. If it takes 3 months for it to stop being a struggle then so be it. Then change another major area. If in 12 months time you’re eating a better breakfast, better snacks and better dinners but still having a treat take away once a week or a bag of crisps every so often then won’t you be doing a lot better then you are today.

And maybe in another 12 months your diet will be top notch and you’ll be on here dolling out the advice. But isn’t being slim and healthy in 2 years, if that’s what it takes, better then still being upset about your size and yo-yo dieting in 2 years.

Small achieveable goals will help motivate you and each goal you master will fill you with more and more confidence.

g'em

Hey SC,

well you're getting oodles of good advice today!!! First off, well done on wanting to make the change. Don't underestimate the need for having that strong desire to make yourself more healthy and wanting to succeed. The other guys have touched on the dietary needs for losing weight so I'm not going to expand on that. There's only so much info you can take at once!! (btw, the food log really is an excellent idea, I can't emphasise it enough- you'll be amazed at how many things you eat every day that you 'forget' about )

At 5'5" and 250lbs you don't need to be told that you have quite journey ahead of you in regards to the amount of weight you have to lose. But you know what? Lots of people do it all the time. It may not be easy, and it may not be entiely straighforward, but so long as you retain that drive that you're feeling right now from reading the posts you'll be fine. It's going to take some time so just accept that, and there's likely to be some bumps along the way. You're husband is obvisouly a very supportive person and will be three for you when times get a little bit tough.

There will be days when you just think "ah feic it anyways, I need chocolate". Sometimes you may give in to that need, othertimes you won't. But the trick is to try and give yourself alternative options so you don't automatically reach for the fruit n' nut. Try to find the lower-fat, healthier options to all the forbidden foods you like to eat. And before anyone starts shouting that 'health food' bars aren't healthy, no they aren't. But eating nutri-grain with 110 calories is over a mars bar is the lesser of two evils. That doesn't mean you can eat them ad-lib ("ooh, half the fat, so I can eat double the amount ) but when you're really stuck its probably the best route to go.

Get into the habit of eating a banana/ apple/ low-fat yoghurt/ smoothie instead of sugary snacks. As everyone else has said, making these things habit is half the battle. Trust me, your taste buds can and will alter to suit your new eating habits. Making small changes all the time will help lead to better habits in general. If you try to change too much too soon you'll overwhelm yourself and it'll all seem insurmountable.

For most people, getting in shape means taking one step at a time. As a reformed serial-dieter myself I can big-time see how my mindset has changed towards eating healthily- I read up on how to make the right choices about my food, and started to pay attention to what my body actually needed as opposed to what I decided to stuff into it. Please, please don't try any faddy diets or anything that magazines promise will help you lose 10lb sin three days or such nonsense. I promise it'll go straight back on again in no time with a few etra kilos to boot. Accept that it'll take a bit of getting used to, and a bit of time and energy, and some lifestyle changes will need to be made. Clear the crap out of the kitchen- if its not there, you won't eat it.

And no, exercise isn't absoltuely 100% neccessary, but the positive effects it'll have on your overall well-being will go a long way towards helping you stick to being healthy. As you begin to walk more, you'll notice your breathing gets less laboured, you can walk more briskly, the fresh aire really will do you the world of good and your mood will improve.

Best of luck with everything, and on the days you get a bit down or demotivated, just read back over this thread to remind yourself of why you want to lose the weight in the first place- yay for fitness !!!

seamus

SingingCherry wrote:

The things I do find as obsticles is trying to to affect my husband. He is 100% supportive with anything I want to do and would give them up if asked, but I feel badly taking coke out of the house because he drinks it, as well as other things that are obviously bad for a diet but he happens to like. I can't deprive him because of my problem, you know? I need to learn to resist the urge to have them.

Trying to diet when the house is full of biscuits and coke is like trying to give up smoking and working in (non-Irish) bar. There's no point in trying to go it alone. I'm sure your husband will be more than supportive, and will be more than happy to have all the crap out of the house (hey, it'll help him too). It doesn't have to be a permanent solution. However, if you do it for a while, you will find yourself with far less desire to have a press full of goodies. You'll be surprised how quickly a bag of crisps or a wine gum becomes just another "meh" food. You shoudn't feel bad at depriving him of this stuff, you should feel good about improving his health too.

So... can I or can I not have some of the things I like, as Seamus said? I have no problems giving up hoops and the like but Cheese... you're killing me!

Cheese. Ah cheese.
Say this to yourself: Cheese is a dressing, not an accompaniment, side dish or meal. Use cheese like you would use salt. Sparingly. This may be a tough adjustment if you love cheese, but eating large amounts of cheese will be one of your biggest enemies if you're trying to lose weight. By all means, get a slice of cheese in your sandwich, but don't cut up half a block and stick it on, or eat four or five cheestrings in a row. If you want to buy cheese to use at home, buy low-fat pre-grated cheddar, not a block of it or a pack of easi-singles.

Is salad not considered veggies anymore? It sounds stupid, but I'm serious. I would put lettuce, cucumbers (which I happen to love), and peppers in it.

Salad is fine, but the dressing can be a killer. A lot of salad dressings are oil-based, which makes them high in fat and energy. A weel-known figure that's totted out is the Mcdonald's chicken caesar salad. It's salad, but it contains more fat than a McDonald's Big Mac.

t-ha

SingingCherry wrote:

The things I do find as obsticles is trying to to affect my husband. He is 100% supportive with anything I want to do and would give them up if asked, but I feel badly taking coke out of the house because he drinks it, as well as other things that are obviously bad for a diet but he happens to like. I can't deprive him because of my problem, you know? I need to learn to resist the urge to have them.

To be honest, self improvement is inherently selfish & now is your time to be selfish. I've been eating clean & working out for a few years now, so I don't doubt my own motivation - but stick me in my house with an ungaurded box of biscuits or choccies or other snacks and I garuntee you they won't last long! As John Berardi once said (he's that nutritionist guy by the way), if a man wants to stay faithful to his wife, it's probably better NOT to fill his house with nubile young college girls. I think the point he was making is that if a temptation is there 24/7, eventually you will have a moment of weakness. Don't worry about your husband & certaintly don't fall into the trap of using him as an easy excuse not to stick to your new lifestyle. Frankly, coke is evil, & even if he's not gaining excess weight due to it - he's honestly better without it.

SingingCherry wrote:

So... can I or can I not have some of the things I like, as Seamus said? I have no problems giving up hoops and the like but Cheese... you're killing me!

As long as you are aware that cheese has quite alot of calories, and you take it into account when deciding what else to eat that day, cheese is fine.

SingingCherry wrote:

Is salad not considered veggies anymore? It sounds stupid, but I'm serious. I would put lettuce, cucumbers (which I happen to love), and peppers in it.

Salad is great (watch the sauces/toppings though), but to give you an idea of a good intake of veggies, I will heat up about 700g of frozen veg in a wok (it's just easier than all that chopping and buying fresh - gimme a break!) every day and spread it out between my meals. The more the better. I like to pour a few teaspoons of different oils over them too (walnut oil is currently in favour with me) which makes them delicious. They're your best friend when you're trying to shift weight, they really are.

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Sangre

Forget about making you're husband suffer because, unfortunately, with the states you've provided you're nearing morbid obesity, or are already there.
I'm sure you've heard over and over again but this is a real danger to your health with regards heart, lungs, liver and assocaited diseases like diabetes.

You have to realise that its ok to be selfish if you're health is at stake. I'm sure you're husband would glady give everything up if it meant reducing you're risk. You'd do the same right? Of course you would, any spouse would!

You have to realise, you don't like these 'healthy' foods because you're not in the habit of eating them. Its not because they're inherently bad tasting. Offer a lot of healthy people here a choice between a big dirty chipper and a healthy home made stir fry and 90% they will choose the latter, and not out of guilt. They don't assocate the chipper or ice cream with the sugar boost or addiction you'd get, that means food is on a level playing field taste wise.

Sort out and try and cut down this dependence using the above suggesions and you'll find yourself reaching for that stir fry rather than the take away menu more and more!

This isn't waffle, its something I've experience myself. Having spent a summer in America, quite broke, I lived on an extremely poor diet, full of sugar on carbs because I couldn't afford anything else. I came back actually craving sweet food and carbs, which I had never done so before and thankfully don't know. I'll never buy sweets in a shop because I don't have any need for them, sure they taste great but so does a fresh, home made sandwhich. The latter of which doesn't cause a 3pm slump in energy!

Basically you need to realise this food has a grasp over you and only you can beat it! ITs just a matter of will power and habit!

Also I've found the best way to lose weight is always a diet/exercise combo, its too hard to rely only on one or the other. So try a 20 min walk every other day, then every day, then 30 min every day etc! The difference in weight and energy levels will keep you coming back for more!

Gary ITR

SingingCherry wrote:

Also, I don't have enough money to join a gym

Why don't you get the 3 or so euro you buy your latte with every morning and put it in a little box? My gym fees are 55 a month,so say you buy the latte four out of 5 mornings then that's 12 a week which would be 48 a month? You probably wouldn't notice the extra 7 quid if you keep to putting your money in the box

SingingCherry

Thank you everyone for your advice and help.

I know that this is a bad situation that I have gotten myself into and all I want to do is get out of it. Seriously, you don't notice how fast the weight comes on...

The main reason I started looking at my weight and size is because of the elevated risk of diabetes. The general public (me) is becoming more and more aware of type 2 diabetes and it's causes and effects. I know what I risk I am for the disease and I would like to avoid it if it's at all possible.

So over the next month or so I plan on just cutting out sugar and fat the best I can. I have a feeling the sugar will be a lot easier since I am the one who usually puts it in my food. I'll just stop doing that, while avoiding all other foods that have sugar added.

As for the fat, I need to be educated on what is good fat and bad fat, or is that just mumbojumbo you hear on TV and in the magazines? Obviously ice-cream and cheese ( ) have a lot of fat in them, and should be avoided. But shouldn't there be some fat in yor diet? Any advice on this would be great.

I also spoke to my husband last night about this and he's fully on board. He said that he is willing to give up the coke and other snacks. Possibly keep some white bread in the freezer for him (there is no way I would ever eat bread from the freezer) and buy wholemeal bread (which I have never minded eating, actually) for me. Bit by bit I hope to change my habits and hopefully I will be a healthier person (and a little bit thinner) in 6 months.

TerrorFirmer

The hardest part is actually adapting to a new diet. Don't bother trying to force all kind of foods you perceive as healthy down your throat - that just makes it harder and will probably lead to failure, I know I've tried it and I'm sure others have too and it will only lead to inevitable binging at some stage. Try find a good balance of good foods and the occassional treat - it won't take long before you'll be disciplined enough to not only know you can't eat this and that, but actually not even want it anymore.

When I first reached the stage you're at now, it was pretty hard to keep the momentum of a new regime going. I used to always fall back on junk at some stage, even if it was only for a single day in the week. Now though, I don't eat much junk at all and going several weeks without eating anything you'd consider as such doesn't really bother me too much. (notice I said too much, because we can't all be perfect all of the time)

Anyway, good luck. I'll leave the diet to the stickies at the top of this forum and the rest of the (great) regulars here, but sometimes all you need is some encouragement, despite what you might think some of the healthiest people around were once in the same situation you find yourself in now.

g'em

Good for you SC!! And I'm delighted to ehar your husband is on board, that's going to make a big difference.

As for fats... well it can all be a little bit confusing alright but the simplest way of thinking of it is that in general plant fats are good, animal fats and processed fats are bad. Noe that's a hyoooogely sweeping statement to make I know, but as a generral guidleline it works.

So for example: nuts are high in fat but its good fat. So eat unsalted, plain nuts in small amounts. Avocados are also high in good fats.

Eggs- good. The type of cholesterol they have is the good type and helps lower the bad type.

Oily fish- brilliant (salmon, mackerel, tuna).

Other animal fats (and by this I mean the fatty bits on cuts of meat) not so good so be sparing.

Cheese and dairy products are faine, again so long as they're kept in moderation. Some people tolerate dairy really well, others find it jsut doesn't agree with them. Dragan for example, another poster on the board, does really well without dairy. Personally I like to keep a small amount of it in my diet all the time. It's all trial and error.

Crisps, sweets, pizzas, take-aways... I don't really need to spell that out do I?!?!

Cutting out fat compeltely from your diet isn't a good thing- around 15-20% of your calories a day can be from fats. But don't worry too much about figures, just get into your healhty eating habits first then start worrying about fine-tuning everything.

Oh and if you see something in a magazine that looks too good to be true? It probably is

Mighty_Mouse

For me : "Motivation comes after effort."

Forget about "motivation". It wont suddenly come upon you some day. You wont wake up some morning with motivation reserves to last you the rest of your life. !

For me it was a case of setting out an "unbreakable" routine for the first 2 weeks/then another 2 weeks/ then a month/ then you start making goals for yourself.
Do you see the progression?

After you've made a proper effort then your motivation levels will increase. You will want to push different aspects of training.
The big hint is once the motivation comes. Dont let it slip EVER ie Even if you take a week off. Motivation-wise you are back to the start.
Im in the frame of mind now that if due to circumstances etc etc I dont get to do something active for 3 days I start going crazy. Will get up in the morning or go for a run at 11 o clock at night . Just to shock the system and make myself feel better.
Again motivation comes after effort. So get a routine and stick to it. Then do not let things slip once you've started the ball rolling.

ps
If your legs dont get sore from walking then you aint putting in enough effort. Find a level that gets your heart-rate to a tolerable level (you feel it pounding but its ok to stay walking ) and stick it out for 10mins/then 15mins/20mins/30mins etc etc

The fact that you've got a husband to get you off the couch in the evenings is class.!!
Tell him you want him to get you out for a 20 minute walk everyday next week. Tell him not to listen if you start complaining.
Wheres the need for "motivation" there?

Then if you dont do it. its not inability. Its laziness. !!!
For me it was a case of at least recognising the flaw for for what it is.



Diet Motivation is easy
Everyone indulges in easy food every now and then. But anybody who says they "prefer" grease, oily, processed fatty foods havent tried healthy foods correctly.

I defy anyone to say that coming home not hungry after overeating all day, plonking an overweight, sweaty, bloated backside on the couch; drinking a pint of coke with a takeaway is "nicer" than:

Coming home properly hungry and spending 30mins to prepare a "normal portion" healthy stir-fry with fresh veg.

I used to feel so crap about myself, couldnt eat with any comfort because I knew it was bad food. Got concious about myself, beat myself up for overeating constantly and even lied to myself about how "healthy" a "salad-roll" for lunch was!!!!!!!

Started deluding myself by having fatty cream-filled soup and loads of bread for lunch, deluded myself by eating "weight-watchers" crappy carton-dinners which would leave anybody starving (nevermind someone overweight). etc etc etc etc

Finally, if you are on a diet YOU ARE MEANT TO FEEL HUNGER. But it only last while your over-expanded stomach reverts to a normal size.

And Finally, Finally, DIET-WISE you dont get "break-days"!!!!! I used to say "weekends are ok"!!!! Such BS!!! No point in killing yourself for 4 days and eating like an animal for 3!!!

A little tough-love against myself worked wonders. My 2c

TerrorFirmer

How would you keep up a diet without dairy? I'd find it so...difficult! I have some sort of reaction to dairy it so far as it makes me bloat quite badly but I just can't manage to cut it out as I eat it in porridge, protein shakes etc....

Mighty_Mouse

Im sorry but I seen you last post and had to point out a couple of things.

I know that this is a bad situation that I have gotten myself into and all I want to do is get out of it. Seriously, you don't notice how fast the weight comes on....

Yes you do, If you want to. Buy a scales. Weigh yourself every 4-5 days. You'll soon notice.

Ive slipped lots of times but I notice.

Write down you weight on a slip of paper and place under the scales. Track your weight with the date beside it. Not very difficult.

The main reason I started looking at my weight and size is because of the elevated risk of diabetes. The general public (me)

Be a little vain!!! Wouldnt you like to have a wider range of fashionable clothes to shop from.?
Wouldnt you like to stand in a group of people and not be the overweight one? Wouldnt you like to have energy to buzz around getting lots done all day?

I would like to avoid it if it's at all possible.

Its possible. Get the weight down. Your not talking in definites. ie I know I can definitly avoid diebetes if I stop over-eating.

So over the next month or so I plan on just cutting out sugar and fat the best I can.

Again not talking in definites. Either you will or you wont.
Tip: Throw out the sugar bowl. You wont need it for the next 6 months

As for the fat, I need to be educated on what is good fat and bad fat, or is that just mumbojumbo you hear on TV and in the magazines?

Mumbo-jumbo. You dont need a full education on bio-chemistry to lose weight. I promise you that you are in no fear of damaging youself from lack of intake of fats.
In time when you get fit and healthy you will start picking up bits and pieces of further knowledge but dont focus on it for now. Focus on basic exercise and basic healthy diet.

Obviously ice-cream and cheese ( ) have a lot of fat in them, and should be avoided.

Throw out ice-cream, throw out cheese. You wont be needing it for next 6 months

I also spoke to my husband last night about this and he's fully on board. He said that he is willing to give up the coke and other snacks.

Thats good for the first while. But remember this is your commitment not his. I couldnt care less what people eat in front of me.

Possibly keep some white bread in the freezer for him (there is no way I would ever eat bread from the freezer)

Again I just feel your not dealing in definites. Either you will eat white bread or you wont.

Because believe it or not there will be white bread around you over the course of your diet . Either you eat it or you dont.

Bit by bit

Good. Its a step by step process. But take the FIRST step TODAY!!!!!

I hope to change my habits and hopefully I will be a healthier person (and a little bit thinner) in 6 months

Again "hope".

Hope all you like but I guarantee I did little bits here and there and HOPED!!!!.

You need a change of lifestyle. Hoping or waiting for motivation wont do it. Put a plan in place and bloody well do it.

Convince yourself that """"No other option exists""

SingingCherry

I've got to be honest, Mighty Mouse, but your second post scared me a bit. Not because of your advice, but you're aggressiveness. I mentioned all of those things in my last post as a follow up to my multiple posts yesterday and the people who gave me advice.

I'm sorry, but while I would love to fit in little clothes, I would love more not to have to take my bloodsugar level every day or give myself a shot. I do feel uncomfortable in my body, and yes, it has a little to do with vanity, but let me have my own reason. There is nothing wrong with me wanting to do this so I don't contract diabetes. It's a definite risk right now.

I didn't notice how fast the weight went on because I wasn't weighing myself. I didn't even think about it. I'm sure if I did, I would have noticed. But oh well.

I'm glad you don't care what people eat in front of you, but having food in the house would make me want to eat it, as many posters pointed out yesterday. As for the bread thing, I said we were keeping in the fridge for him, not for me. I like wholemeal bread. It's not a problem. Please read the whole post.

I do appreciate your advice and your encouragement, but I have never really responded well to aggressiveness. I am sure with myself (and that's the only person who counts) that this is something I'm "definitely" working towards.

t-ha

SingingCherry wrote:

I do appreciate your advice and your encouragement, but I have never really responded well to aggressiveness. I am sure with myself (and that's the only person who counts) that this is something I'm "definitely" working towards.

It's shock therapy - usually used when someone is in denial. You're not, so don't worry about it. You've got what you need so just get started, stay positive & in six months you won't know yourself.

Mighty_Mouse

but I have never really responded well to aggressiveness.

I do apologise.

Can I say that I really sympatise with anyone making the effort to get started as I had myself in pretty bad shape for a while. I wasted so so so so so much time and effort. And the more you try and fail the harder it becomes.

What worked for me was being completely, brutally honest about what I wanted for myself and how I was going about implementing it.

So even when I was slipping I knew that I owed myself major sessions in the gym to get straight again.

Anyways. Best of luck