Someone Explain Irish Women to Me!

LegacyUser

This is pretty simple: I am American, but have been living in Ireland for over 6 years. I have never dated or had a relationship with an Irish woman. I have never even come close. Now, I am by no means bad looking, a bad person or have something wrong with me. I humbly say that I am slightly the opposite. Here is the kicker....I have had many relationships with women of differing nationalities..Polish, Spanish, English, Scottish, others.

I really fancy this one girl, her friends know it and whe knows it, yet she will have nothing to do with me. This has happened on more than one occasion. I just can't figure it out. The last time I found out that the girl had a problem with me being American, and thats it. I get the feeling this is the same thing again. Do Irish girls not like Americans? 5 years of evidence seems to suggest this, even my mates here say so. I don't know what to think. Does anyone have an opinion.

Beruthiel

I might suggest that George Bush has a lot to answer for, but that discussion is for the Politics forum.
In fairness, I can't answer your question, I don't know you. I tend to take most people on an individual basis. It depends on a lot of things,
Lets get the stereotypical stuff out of the way:
Are you a republican?
Are you loud?
Do you have an annoying accent?
Is creationism the way to go?
Do you claim to be irish cos your great, great, great, great grandfather was?

As for this girl, have you asked her out?

McGinty

Hi, the fact is I don't know, I have never heard any of my femal friends speak badly of American guys and my sister lived with an American guy, out of interest have you spoken with this girl, maybe she is shy (please don't rely on second hand speak, judge for yourself, if she ignores you when you speak to her or rejects you if you ask her on a date then fair enough, but it could be due to her not fancying you and nothing to do with your nationality), maybe the one girl who used your nationality against you was just a once off, the fact is if someone digs you/fancies, etc, they won't give a damn where you come from, it is irrelevent then, but can you find this acceptable, we can all blame our looks, nationality, figure, size of our bums, our IQ, etc, ad finiteum- the bottom line I'm learning is that if someone digs you, the other stuff as mentioned above doesn't matter, even though we are mislead to believe they do, it is a myth, and a delusion.

AngryBadger

A bit more background would be useful OP. The fact that she knows you're interested doesn't really mean anything unless she's interested as well. Did she actually say the words "I don't like him because he's american"? Or is that second hand information?

There is a saddening parochialism to a lot of irish people, so you may well find that some just can't deal with anyone who isn't similar to them in cultural, (and yes even racial), terms.

I'm not about to comment on "irish women" since this specific case may have absolutley nothing to do with the attitudes of a demographic termed "irish women" I will however point out that many other non-nationals have expressed similar sentiments in the past.

But definitely provide more information here is you want any kind of genuine feedback.

Tak3n

My question to you is...

Why would you want an irish woman?

I have yet to find a really attractive irish woman... i find them plain and boring with very little sense of fashion or adventure...

Go to the continent.. much better variety.

Irish women cant cook either

I can say alot more negatives about them but i wont... i might offend some people...

Trinity

I've never met an american living in Ireland tbh.

But i was over there once and i thought they were all very nice people so i dont know why you are having difficulties over here??

Sorry cant be of anymore help but i have never heard anyone i know saying they did not like americans.

Marksie

I haven't really had a problem with irish women to be honest. So must really be of the opposite opinion to tak3n in virtually all he says. Oh an i can cook too

As other posters have said has she told you this or is it second hand?.

Perhaps she has heard you have played the field and is a bit concerned about being another notch on the bedpost, or pin on the map..to keep the geographic theme going. it may simply be that she is shy!

There are unfortunatley culturally enforced differences which do affect how both Irish women and men behave towards each other (In general), an over reliance on alcohol for example. And perhaps how women perceive themselves and how they should act or behave when it is obvious that someone is attracted to them (societal conditioning.. or repression, either suits) , it is possible that this may explain the excuses... or she jut plain may not fancy you.

I am english and have only very infrequently had an irish woman make disparaging comments about my nationality.

I like, beruthiel tend to take individuals as i find them rather than every american is like the stereotype for example.

It is unclear if you have talked to her in any depth or detail, perhaps by showing her that you are niot the stereoptypical american you may be able to interest her in you as a person?
As McGinty rightly puts it if she digs you, the rest won't matter.

There have been a lot of threads on the current state of things, lack of manners etc. and these have all degenerated into a slanging sessions..any chance of keeping this ON topic (says he the little saint)

Hellm0

OP oddly enough I have spoken to women who have lived in the states and had relationships over there that were great, but when the partner comes back to ireland with them for a holiday I've been told things gone rather...wrong. Not to say this has much to do with your situation, I cant say much abou t this woman but its possible that yes maybe she does have an issue with your nationality. Only way to tell is to try and ask her out to a social type event or if your more cautious test the water and try to spark conversation, see if you even like her as a person first?

Irish people are a very different breed to the americans when it comes to the dateing scene and to be honest as a people we can tend to be quite prudish unless drunk. The problem might not be incompatibility but rather getting the wheels in motion so to say.

Best of luck in any case, hope all works out well!

Black Swan

If the woman in question fancies you, I doubt that such things as nationality will be a major issue. And if you keep your sense of humour with you, it could be a source of playfulness.

Sarky

Sack of neuroses+Duct tape=Irish women.

Chinafoot

Unreg xcer wrote:

I really fancy this one girl, her friends know it and whe knows it, yet she will have nothing to do with me. This has happened on more than one occasion. I just can't figure it out. The last time I found out that the girl had a problem with me being American, and thats it. I get the feeling this is the same thing again.

Sounds like she just doesn't fancy you. Maybe you're just not her type? It is possible.

As for the last girl..well thats one girl. Don't just assume that because one other Irish girl didn't like the fact that you're American, every Irish girl feels the same way. Maybe there are aspects of your personality that the previous girl didn't like and possibly saw as being stereotypically American. Who knows? Why would you want to be with someone who is going to judge you purely on where you come from anyway?

My advice: accept that this current girl is not into you and move on.

[Jackass]

My faith has been restored in Irish women over the past while, but in general the complaints i often hear from guys in Ireland who aren't Irish is that they:
*Take it as an insult if approached in a bar/club, as in second guessing you're chatting them up or sleazing on them - where as abroad (america for example) it's far easier to approach women in these scenaios and they are more willing to give out phone numbers, if not even kiss or anything else. (such in the "dating culture)
*Very closed off to sexuality and being open about sex (not quite sure what it means, but was said to me in a conversation recently, by an Irish lad actually)
*Can be cold to strangers - non sociable outside their groups of friends, which basicly means the only girls you can meet are through you're friends.
*Have a attitude or "up their arseness" about them

I don't know, I tend to agree to an extent, it can be frustraiting how distrusting or non-approachable Irish girls are to people they don't know..like theirs a stigma to it or "oh my god, I don't know him and he's talking to me, obviously he's weird!"

But in general my advice would be, not every girl is going to like you or fancy you, but that's life and this is the scenario you're in, so just run with it...keep being nice, friendly and you will find a cool Irish girl, they do exist, and as for this current girl, she may just not be interested...I've never heard of a girl not dating someone because their american though and i'd imagine it's quite unlikely, maybe you're just making excuses for yourself?

But anyway, if everyone knows you like her, including her, why havn't/don't you just ask her out anyway? It's not like it will be a shock to anyone and she might even agree to it, maybe you're misreading the situation?

Worst case scenario, you confirm the fact to the girl you like her, she may politely decline, but you've planted the seed in her mind that you like her and maybe down the road you'll all be sitting around having a laugh and she'll think to herself "actually this guy is kind of cool, maybe I would go out with him" and as she knows you're into her, she wont be affraid to flirt with you a bit more and try and show her interest in you..and if you notice these signs, don't be shy to ask her out again.

Rejection is nothing to be feared, it happens to us all and I don't think I've ever heard of someone losing respect from their mates or the girl involved just by asking her out...if anything, it's a compliment.

And even if she does hate you, all that means is you're in the "fungus" category: You can still grow on her.

greenteaicedtea

*Can be cold to strangers - non sociable outside their groups of friends, which basicly means the only girls you can meet are through you're friends.
*Have a attitude or "up their arseness" about them

I'm Canadian, but I can relate to the girls who seem standoffish or who are not open to talking to just anyone.

I find it hard to say no. I don't have the ability to stop the conversation, if they're annoying me, or if I'm not interested in talking. So how do I keep from talking to someone I don't want to talk to? I sometimes don't talk, and I avoid eye contact. In my repertoire of conversation, I simply don't have a nice way of saying "no" to a conversation.

I really fancy this one girl, her friends know it and whe knows it, yet she will have nothing to do with me.

Sounds like she's not interested! Find a way to get over her and move on.

spanner

peachypants wrote:

As for the last girl..well thats one girl. Don't just assume that because one other Irish girl didn't like the fact that you're American, every Irish girl feels the same way. Maybe there are aspects of your personality that the previous girl didn't like and possibly saw as being stereotypically American. Who knows? Why would you want to be with someone who is going to judge you purely on where you come from anyway?

My advice: accept that this current girl is not into you and move on.

but this is not just a once off, there has been countless other threads from foreign men claiming Irish women are hard to meet up with, there has even been articles in some lifestyle papers commenting on the fact that Irish women do not go with foreign men.

The Irish men have managed to get on very well with the foreign women here, It really is Irish womens loss because in Fairness the foreign lads take care of their bodies and dress much better than us Irish guys. Plus they are much less likely to go on the piss with the lads and be more attentive to the ladies needs

John Mason

Sarky wrote:

Sack of neuroses+Duct tape=Irish women.

hee hee - well said sarky, you are so right

Ag marbh

Ireland has been full of alot of casual anti-Americanism over the last few years so this may be one reason. Thank Michael Moore and George Bush to name but a few.

I personally take people as they are and nationality would never come into it. I know for a fact many many people do also so it could be your approach thats wrong. Maybe go into a bit more detail and then let the females do the replying.

milod

Hey OP, don't waste your time! if you've had relationships with women of other nationalities, stick with them! 'Nick' summed it up perfectly in his post below. You just need to get used to the fact that many irish women are unapproachable until they have a skinful of booze.

The dating culture in Ireland is so warped it's unbelievable - when I went to London, I found women friendly, open, and polite even when they clearly weren't interested - it was a culture shock to me, just as it must be to an American in Ireland. When I returned home I despaired at the whole "in your dreams pal" attitude I received when simply trying to engage a woman in conversation.

Oh and by the way, don't discount the anti-american angle - it's become a fashion statement here (admittedly due to George Dubya!)

empirix

spanner wrote:

but this is not just a once off, there has been countless other threads from foreign men claiming Irish women are hard to meet up with, there has even been articles in some lifestyle papers commenting on the fact that Irish women do not go with foreign men.

The Irish men have managed to get on very well with the foreign women here, It really is Irish womens loss because in Fairness the foreign lads take care of their bodies and dress much better than us Irish guys. Plus they are much less likely to go on the piss with the lads and be more attentive to the ladies needs

Just on the "Dress much better" part - you've got to be kidding me, are you a foreigner, they all dress like muck - no offence intended but that statement was insane

Mrs_Doyle

Maybe, just maybe, there is no mystery here.... maybe these girls just don't like you 'that' way. ? ? ?
Is it not possible they they just aren't sexually attracted to you?

If I was sexually attracted to a guy it wouldn't matter if he was American, Spanish, black, white, blue or purple.... most girls I know would be the same.

imeatingchips

this might sound a bit racist but americans seem to have a repuation for being loud, ignorant and, lately, bullies of the world (granted, you don't seem like that).

on the flip side, irish birds are just crap. amongst other things, they're not very nice to their men once the get their claws in.

this is probably the one thing that you can thank georgie bush for.

Beruthiel

imeatingchips wrote:

irish birds are just crap. amongst other things, they're not very nice to their men once the get their claws in.

:rolleyes:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

If we're thinking G Bush everything we meet an American, we're in trouble. Seriously.

Regarding Irish women, Ifind thewm a bit boring, to be honest. Same bars, sme clubs, same crap, no imagination.

Cheese Princess

In defence of Irish women, we have some reasons to be wary. I've spent plenty of nights in clubs where I actually have to leave the dancefloor because of some guy grinding into me. I've been walking up stairs in a bar or club when some guy has put his hands up my skirt. When you have to deal with these creeps on a regular basis it's hard not to be judgemental of foreign men.
Having said that and I don't mean to sound racist here, but these incidences always occur with African or Asian men. I have never had a problem with Americans and in my experience of American guys I have always found them to be extremely courteous and good fun.
Back to the main point, it really sounds like this girl just isn't interested in you. It happens to all of us and you can't generalise that Irish girls aren't into American guys just because one girl isn't.
You sound like a nice guy, maybe you should try to forget this girl and move on.

BeardyGit

I'm getting a bit tired of the whole "Irish women are crap" nonsense. Irish women are fantastic on the whole.

The root of the problem is actually shared with Irish men, not knowing how to behave like anything more than a drunken, immature idiot when it comes to engaging the attention of the opposite sex. Everything rotates around pints and kebabs from the time we're old enough to organise a fake ID - For the boys and the girls. The only difference is that while the lads are puking the back of a nightlink, the girls are puking in their friends handbags in the back of a taxi. I know this, it's how I grew up FFS.

It's a cultural difference OP. Like it or not, Irish women have been damaged by Irish men along the road to maturity. You'll have to really work to prove yourself - Particularly being American I'm afraid.

BTW, I'm an Irish lad. And proud of it, and Irish women.

Trinity

The problem OP is ****some**** people are just shallow and prejudice. Sheep. They go with the general consensus as they have no opinions of their own.

You've seen it a lot throughout these type of threads already. Irish guys (and non-nationals too) slating irish women. Generalising.

its all b*ll*x.

As at 2002 the IRISH FEMALE population was approx 1.8 million. Of this 1.8 milllion roughly 1 million fell into the 20-44 age group.

so if any one of you have actually met 1 million irish women and can still say hand on heart that they are all stuck up bitter bitches with their heads up their asses who cant cook and are ugly as well...............well fair play to you, you might wanna get onto the guinness book of records cos thats f**king amazing.

As for 294 million americans being disliked cos of one man (George Bush) - hmmm - theres no hope for the rest of us really then is there.

SO back to your question - i dont know why you cant get an irish girlfriend out of 1 million people. You are asking us to generalise.

As for the girl in work, She is an individual and if it is the unfortunate case that she is prejudice and judges you on where you are from and does not have the intelligence or compassion to see you for who you are well then f**k her. Move on. You dont need someone so shallow in your life.

littlesurfer

i'm an irish girl and have gone out with an american guy,,...granted in his own country......i have a few things to point out

first of all ignore anything that said blame it on George Bush.....bull....no way would 99% of irish girls be that ignorant as to use that reason not to go out with a guy,....i'd understand if you were voicing Bush-like political opinions left right and centre but when i was over there most of the average people weren't all for Bush in anyway......its completely besides the point.

Secondly i think Irish girls have a definate comfort zone....irish men are different to men i've met anywhere else in the world...very different...and we were brought up around them i'm afraid.


thirdly, the one thing that irish men arent is overly emotional.....or sentimental..etc. And so when we meet guys who are more or less those things we freak out a wee bit. And you might not think that you are those things....but as little as you are...irish men are less......thats why we're a bit afraid of guys who well....aren't irish!!

probably sounds pathetic but as someone who has done a lot of travelling and gone out with american, dutch, polish, chinese, brittish...i can tell you its true.....girls talk about this....plenty and i'm afraid its the truth.....

it doesn't mean you wont ever go out with an irish girl....you'll just have to condition her first....become her friend so she gets to know you....its the dating thing that freaks us out.....definately not used to that
hope you don't think thats all a pile of crap!

Just on the "Dress much better" part - you've got to be kidding me, are you a foreigner, they all dress like muck - no offence intended but that statement was insane

Some of the ignorant statements around here baffle me. Foreigners all "dress like muck?" So anyone who isn't Irish dresses badly? I never knew Ireland was such a fashion mecca, I mean why aren't all the big catwalk shows over here? Obviously Italian and French women have no idea how to dress compared to the fashion forward Irish babes and neither do the Canadians, Americans, Dutch, Swedish, Finnish, Chinese........ oh, anyone who isn't Irish. There must be thousands of tourists arriving in Dublin every day clamouring for the latest collections from A-wear and Penneys. I mean seriously, how much of a generalisation can you make? For every well dressed Irish woman I see there are probably 2 fake tanned, Ugg wearing, platinum blonde Oopma Loompas and 2 dressed in head to toe Nike with bright white trainers. There are badly dressed Irish women and badly dressed foreigners, I fail to see how race or nationality has anything to do with it.

Trinity

The original post was by an irish guy saying foreign LADS tend to dress better than 'us' Irish guys - someone disagreed. There was no mention of Irish girls.

So its down to judging people based on how they are dressed now??

This thread has gone to the dogs.

juanjo

Nancy Vast Noodle wrote:

platinum blonde Oopma Loompas

Fake tan>oompa loompa? god that has to be carved in rock!!!

BC

OP, maybe she just doesn't fancy you.....have you asked her out?

I don't know any of my friends who would refuse to go out with a guy because of his nationality. I do agree with Littlesurfer though that there are cultural differences that sometimes mean men of other nationalities are not attractive to me, like the fact that non-irish men tend to be a lot more emotional! However thats a personal preference and i don't think any of these things can be generalised accross an entire nation.

Ask her out, if shes not interested move on.
You seem to think this is a problem with Irish girls in general, have you actually asked out any and have you been told they aren't interested because you are american? I'd be very surprised if this was the case.

meglome

I can't agree with a lot of the generalising of Irish women here. Of all the women I've met the Irish ones have had the best sense of humour which means a lot to me personally. They have also been some of the nicest people I’ve ever met.

My (Irish) girlfriend is great and since she works as a chef in a top restaurant she most certainly can cook

I will agree though that is very difficult to meet girls in Dublin. I went for a whole year without meeting anyone new. Even if you just want to talk for a bit of fun conversation it can be very difficult.