Don't enjoy clubbing

Umaro

Hey I'm a 19 year old guy. Everytime I go out with my friends once the clock gets close to midnight almost everyone in the group (lads and girls) wants to go to a nightclub. At this point I have to choose between going home early or heading on to the nightclub. If I've had a few drinks I'm usually easily swayed towards tagging along to the club but I always end up wishing I hadn't. I have to say that I hate clubbing so much.

I'm not that anti-social or anything (trying not to be big-headed but I know I'm good craic on a nite out!) but I always find everyone is having a blast except me. I don't mind dancing or anything, although I do admit I feel a little bit self-conscious but it doesn't hold me back that much. It's just that I hate the loud music, the atmosphere, the fact you can't hear a word someone is shouting in your ear - I'm not that lucky with girls there either as I kind of prefer to talking in a pub rather than banging my crotch into them at 300rpm. The rare times that I have had an alright time clubbing have been the times that I've been horrendously drunk!

Make it handier for you to help me out:
[1] - how can I start enjoying clubbing like everyone else?
[2] - should I just get really drunk so I'll enjoy it??
[3] - how do you pull in a club? just try it on with as many girls as possible?! I'm not sure how big a part of the problem this is (I mean, am I hating clubbing because I suck at scoring in nightclubs? I don't know!)

Thanks in advance for all replies, I am being serious, this is something about myself that has bugged me for ages!

Um. If you don't like going clubbing, don't go clubbing.
Ask your friends to have the odd night out in a quieter pub.

[1] - how can I start enjoying clubbing like everyone else?

Not everyone actually likes clubbing, you know. I prefer a quiet night sitting around chatting with people in a pub, tbh.

[2] - should I just get really drunk so I'll enjoy it??

Alcohol is not the solution to life's problems! if you don't like it don't start drinking more just so you will. Bad idea. Particularly if you say you hate it.

Seriously, it's not compulsory to go clubbing

Owen

I don't like Clubs either. I'd much rather stay in a late pub, or even better, a late pub with a live band. Clubs are very over rated.

Suaimhneach

[1] Sometimes people just enjoy a certain kind of atmosphere, and clubbing is obviously not your thing. Being like "everyone else" should not be your priority. I also hate clubbing and almost never ever go, for the exact same reason.

[2] No. That is silly. Being really drunk is a waste of money, time and energy. IF you get really drunk you wont be yourself as much, you wont enjoy it or remember it. It's a bad idea.

[3] From the sounds of it you enjoy a good drink with some mates and a bit of a laugh, pulling as many girls as possible hardly sounds like something "cool" to do. Most likely you'll only get a one night stand there... which cant be recommended as if they're there every weekend thats a lot of one night stands...

Overall... don't try to force yourself to like it. Loads of people hate clubbing. Sometimes its just on for you. Maybe you could try pub/clubs. A pub with a dancefloor... along the lines of Doyles maybe. Dancefloor one side, and in the back its fairly quiet. Packed though... it's just an example! Definitley dont get wasted to force yourself to enjoy something you definitely dont!

Ruu_Old

Don't particularly enjoy clubs that much anymore. I used to go most nights to the same spot but it got old. You have to mix it up a bit, thats all really. The same thing is bound to drive you a bit mad.
Drinking a load of alcohol just to have a good time is not a very good idea. Theres plenty of fun to be had without it, or drinking just a little.

Trinity

Why dont you just accept that this is part of you, your personality and you likes and dislikes and do things you do enjoy.

never be a sheep! i'm sure there are plenty of like-minded people out there!

Get out and find them!

InFront

[1] - how can I start enjoying clubbing like everyone else?

What kind of places are you going to? Some nightclubs are just nasty tbh. What about places where conversations and sitting around is also possible? Also dont feel so self concious about dancing. I'm a sh1t dancer, like really crap but I dont even care, nobody is watching you they're all trying to look good/ score/ act sober. If you really dont want to dance, go with a group of friends who feel the same, although Im not sure what else there would be to do... drink? no thats not good. At the end of the day, clubs just arent for everybody. You're probably not missing out on a whole lot by heading home after the pub:)

[2] - should I just get really drunk so I'll enjoy it??

I don't know, I doubt it, but I think other people could advise you better. You dont want to get absolutely wasted in an attempt to enjoy the night and end up ruining somebody else's night because of it. Add to that the cost, the after effects, Id wager a No... It could put you off clubs altogether.

[3] - how do you pull in a club? just try it on with as many girls as possible?!

Basically... yes, that's bound to be a pretty successful strategy. Speaking as an old and insane 20 year old, I think you're better off meeting girls in pubs as opposed to clubs- I personally think getting girls in clubs is a disaster - they're usually langers/ have nothing in common with you.
I also find that in a pub it's less awkward, nicer and you're not going to end up with someone who you really dont like that much or wouldn't normally chat with.

Umaro wrote:

rather than banging my crotch into them at 300rpm

deecom

Tbh, if its not your scene dont go, i never liked clubbing, still dont, but in 3 months im getting married! Never met anyone i could call a great friend while clubbing, but i followed what i loved, which was traveling and things just sort of happened. You dont need to get really drunk to enjoy clubs or anything else for that matter, so as was said before dont be a sheep, and do as you like. Have fun and go with what you like!

R0C0

At first I just went to clubs cos the pubs were closing.. but I found they grew on me! I really pick my nights though, like I really only ever go on a Wednesday or Saturday, seein as Wednesday is 80's night in one of the clubs here and Saturday theres a really good rock(esque) dj in one of the other nightclubs!! I hate bein in clubs with crappy pounding dance music!! So maybe try picking your nights!

Tha Gopher

Umaro wrote:

Make it handier for you to help me out:
[1] - how can I start enjoying clubbing like everyone else?
[2] - should I just get really drunk so I'll enjoy it??
[3] - how do you pull in a club? just try it on with as many girls as possible?!

Two questions- whats your musical taste and what clubs do you hit? For me, clubbings my life, Ive got nothing else to live for bar the weekend, but it depends on the spot. If its a great dance and rap vibe Im out on the floor giving it loads to the music I love. If i find myself in a dive like Tramcos or some other cheesefest im sat at the bar praying for decent music (I think Tramcos is possibly the only club Ive ever left before closing time, it was just too damn awful)

So

1- Try getting them to head to somewhere you like. Too many people are happy to go to any old cheese like Barcode, if you want somewhere with more of a dance vibe tell them.

2- The honest anwser? Yeah, probably

3- There are two ways. When your completely flutered at 2:15 it consists of banging your crotch into multiple arses until one of them hopefully turns around and kisses you. The more stylish way is when some girl notices you giving absoloute socks to a classic tune like No Good For Me or whatever, dancing for your own enjoyment rather than perversely leering at every skirt in the place, and grabs you for a kiss

You seem to like the pub alright, try Copper Face Jacks, its a nightclub but its got more of a pub vibe about it, and its legendary for pulling (amongst some, Ive been a few times, and whilst Ive pulled most of those times I find that you pull easier in 21s. And they are QUALITY )

Im now barred from 21s for mistaken identity though, so bollix to that.

challengemaster

if you dont like it, dont go.im in my teens and all my friends all go to discos, i dont go because they bore me.just do what you want to do.aslong as you're happy in the end

Black Swan

To club or not to club, that is the question? You don't have to club to be happy. But drinking a lot is unhealthy physically, mentally, and socially.

Tar.Aldarion

A lot of guys don' enjoy clubs, gettig really drunk is what I have to do, then comes the 300rpm.
you are far from alone OP, most just drink a lot.

Black Swan

Tar you are still awake? If I club you, do you think it will help you get some sleep?:D *Pulls as chin while looking at club*


OP: You will not be a lesser person if you do not club. I like to go out once in awhile, but more often prefer a quiet night with someone I care about. Whatever you do, keep your sense of humour.









*I know...cheezy joke...but it's getting late.

Tar.Aldarion

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Tar you are still awake? If I club you, do you think it will help you get some sleep?:D *Pulls as chin while looking at club*

It's only 6am....


OP, I started enjoying tehm a lot more when I stopped caring completely about what other people thought, try it, dance like there is nobody watching, hehe.

Zapho

Here's what you can do. Let your friends know that you don't like clubbling all the time and suggest that every so often you all do something different in a night out. So instead of clubbing, you go see a live band or go to a Jazz club or something like that, or instead of going to the usual rake of pubs, go to a pub you'd never go to. That way you can end up having a great night!

Doing different things is what makes a night interesting for me. I don't like clubs much (mainly because I hate club music) and going to the same club once a week gets incredibly boring, so try varying it a bit.

Colm_OReilly

If you want to change your attitude towards clubbing you need to let go of the secondary pay off you have of hating them. Any emotion is a payoff, even the "bad" ones.

I always find everyone is having a blast except me.

It always looks that way, it very rarely is though.

A few questions:
Do you want to enjoy nightclubs? Forget about how you'll enjoy them for the time being. What do you want out of a night out?

how do you pull in a club? just try it on with as many girls as possible?! I'm not sure how big a part of the problem this is

How about you stop trying to pull? If you want to interact with a girl do so off the dancefloor, they're not there to have a conversation.

I mean, am I hating clubbing because I suck at scoring in nightclubs? I don't know!

Most probably you are. It's emasculating to admit you don't know "how to pull", and a nightclub environment only enforces that. Most people who suffer from any sort of social anxiety will feel that their inferiorities are displayed in pubs and clubs, so they avoid them, which only leads to greater anxiety.

LegacyUser

Sounds to me like you've got bad friends. When I go clubbing with my mates all we do is act the jackass on the dancefloor and have a blast, just totally let our hair down.

the_syco

OT, but wtf

R0C0 wrote:

seein as Wednesday is 80's night in one of the clubs here and Saturday theres a really good rock(esque) dj in one of the other nightclubs!! I hate bein in clubs with crappy pounding dance music!! So maybe try picking your nights!

Where's "here", and if "here" is Dublin, what are the pubs?

Dave!

OP, I don't really enjoy clubs if I'm not drinking. I don't have to be p*ssed, but tipsy anyway.

If you have fun in a club when you're a bit drunk, then get a bit drunk.

If you don't wanna go to a club, then don't go!

Faith

OP, I'm like you, I can't stand clubbing. I really, really hate it, for the reasons you listed. It's too loud, it's uncomfortable, I hate having guys rub themselves up against me like stray cats, the music is ****e and I don't appreciate having to pay €12 for that...

Unfortunately, like you, my friends all enjoy it and nights out inevitably end up in clubs. Now, though, I just simply refuse to go. I tell them from the start that I won't go. I go home early if that's the case. It's caused a small bit of tension with my friends, but I don't care. They're coming around to my way of thinking a bit.

I also branched out a bit from my immediate friends and started spending time with others, who also prefer late night pubs to clubs.

My advice is:

1. Just refuse to go
2. Branch out and find others who share your dislike of clubbing.

jonny68

I went clubbing several times a week for years,still do on occasions but not nearly as much thesedays,if your not into it just go home simple as no one is forcing you to go mate.

Chucky the tree

Why not go to clubs that play music you actually like?

DerekD Goldfish

I agree with most of what the OP says but I dont think he has much choice other than to suck it up and try and enjoy it other than meeting new friends who dont like to go clubing

Chucky the tree wrote:

Why not go to clubs that play music you actually like?

Well I dont know about the OP but in my opinion there is not one club that ive been to in Dublin with a decent selection of music

Chucky the tree

what music are you into?

DerekD Goldfish

Chucky the tree wrote:

what music are you into?

I supose you could call my tastes "Alternative" but I dont like to categorise music to much suposed Indie/Alt clubs like whelans have a horribly repetitive playlist.

leeroybrown

I've never been a big fan of night clubs. I always find them too loud and I dislike most of the music played in the majority of clubs. Thankfully most of my friends tend to avoid the same kind of places as me so I don't have to put up with it too often. Sometimes when I'm dragged to a club I have a good night some times I just end up annoyed and bored.

smemon

yip, i too hate niteclubs the millions of people around you, the poor light, the booming music... not my scene.

thankfully the gf doesnt like them either a nice break away in a fancy hotel once in a while is what you're talking about. don't go out for a month, and you'll easily have saved €200 which can be spent on a nice break away

having said that, EVERYBODY goes out to clubs at our age so i pretty much don't see anyone if i don't go out. :rolleyes:

the_syco

DerekD Goldfish wrote:

I dont like to categorise music to much suposed Indie/Alt clubs like whelans have a horribly repetitive playlist.

I know Eamon Dorans used to do a rock DJ on one of the nights. Dunno if they still do. It as good, as well.

Sam Vimes

Colm_OReilly wrote:

Most probably you are. It's emasculating to admit you don't know "how to pull", and a nightclub environment only enforces that. Most people who suffer from any sort of social anxiety will feel that their inferiorities are displayed in pubs and clubs, so they avoid them, which only leads to greater anxiety.

indeed. i don't know how to rub up against a drunken slapper whose name i don't know for a few minutes and then bring up round to the alleyway, rip her pants off and do her until the gardai arrive or one of us gets aids off the other. how very emasculating

i'm fine talking to girls. i find it difficult to get to know someone when i can only hear half of what they're screaming in my ear. i have no interest in "pulling" someone i've never had a conversation with. that's not "emasculating" in any way

Chucky the tree wrote:

what music are you into?

i'm into the type that doesn't deafen me. i don't care what they play in night clubs. dancing doesn't interest me so no matter what is being played its just a barrier to talking to people

nobodythere

You should take all the time you'd waste in clubs and learn a new skill or something, take up an instrument.

I know what you mean, the only reason I go to clubs is because of the dancing, I love going mental to good musak! Screw everything else, hate most of the people, the atmosphere, the stink, the drunken bastids, the bouncers, but letting go is great craic.

Sometimes I have to get lashed to go to clubs. I wouldn't see some of my old friends if I didn't go out to crappy clubs and have to dance to cheesy 80's music, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make sometimes.

It's a crappy state of affairs that in this country the common interest is getting fscked off your head and going out to a club. Maybe you need to find some friends with similar interests, that's what I ended up doing. Not to say you've to ditch your old friends either.

phil_

Hi all, first time poster to boards.ie, interesting thread.

I can relate to your distaste for a lot of clubs - One thing that really gets to me about going out in Dublin and Ireland generally is the level of severe drunkeness, brawls, vomiting on street etc., relative to most European countries (Britain excepted, perhaps!). Excessive alcohol consumption generally seems to create a hostile, unpleasant 'you-lookin-at-my-bird' atmosphere in a lot of places. Have been away for a few years, so I'm wondering if any of you knowledgable Boards heads can recommend some good spots in Dublin these days? Or indeed elsewhere in the country as I'd be willing to travel for a good weekend!

More specifically, I'm looking for places where the people aren't too hammered, no drunken troglodytes brawling, the music isn't too cheesy and loud, there's a more laidback, relaxed atmosphere, cool crowd - most importantly: good looking, well-dressed, classy, non-drunken ladies whom one can suavely chat up as opposed to just grind idiotically against on the dance floor (Does this really count as a pulling technique these days!? ). I have in mind places like the Odeon which seemed to fit the bill when I was there recently - anyone been to the Morrison hotel at the weekends? Any other tips for a returned ex-pat? Thanks folks -phil_

projectmayhem

DerekD Goldfish wrote:

I supose you could call my tastes "Alternative" but I dont like to categorise music to much suposed Indie/Alt clubs like whelans have a horribly repetitive playlist.

fibbers?

phil_ wrote:

More specifically, I'm looking for places where the people aren't too hammered, no drunken troglodytes brawling, the music isn't too cheesy and loud, there's a more laidback, relaxed atmosphere, cool crowd - most importantly: good looking, well-dressed, classy, non-drunken ladies whom one can suavely chat up as opposed to just grind idiotically against on the dance floor

most places upon the bell tolling at 2:30AM will have drunken troglodytes brawling, spewing the nights drink onto the streets and so on....

you described AKA to me basically. all the brown thomas women go there...

Colm_OReilly

phil_,

As a general rule I've found the further south you travel in the city centre the better the venue. This is strictly my opinion though. Sam Sara is quite a nice venue.

On the music front, I've been accused on having some dodgy tastes so I'll hold my tongue about that.

Colm

Umaro

Okay cool, huge thank you for all replies - you've helped make up my mind, I won't be going clubbing anymore unless something drastic happens and I suddenly start to like it.

Tar.Aldarion

Good choice, if you don't like it, don't go.
Get late pub friends.