The Ultimate Father Ted thread

Ruu_Old

Following on from Mr.Hungus idea, post all you want about Father Ted here as theres no need for a forum. I'll start it off with a quote.

"Ted, me tanktop..its turned into some sort of womens bra!"

Tar.Aldarion

Ted: Hello, is that the Yin dynasty? Family, sorry, the Yin family.

Ted: (to Richard Wilson) I don't beleeeeeeeeeve it!

"Ted, you forgot your brick."

mike65

Mike.

The Bollox

Ted: oh no, did they take much?
Mrs. Doyle: no Father, I don't think you understand, SHE was robbed, they STOLE her

Tar.Aldarion

Deleted User wrote:

"Ted, you forgot your brick."

Fr. Jack: I love my brick!

Ruu_Old

Ah forgot about the couple of Father Ted screenies I made a while ago.

EDIT: Link fixed, click HERE.

Tar.Aldarion

Ruu wrote:

Ah forgot about the couple of Father Ted screenies I made a while ago, linkies. Enjoy.

Not working, I'm a sad panda.

Ruu_Old

Should be fine, working ok here, I'll upload them to another location later.:) Can anyone else see them? (the mb limit will probably run out fast on geocities)

Creamy Goodness

the best scene...


well it's been an easy decision

Tar.Aldarion

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EDIT: yeah Cremo, best scene ever.

****in hell!

Ruu_Old

Cremo wrote:

the best scene...


well it's been an easy decision

Haha *voice in background* "Fúckin' 'ell"

whatalanger

"That would be an ecuminical matter."

Fuzzy_Dunlop

Ah Father Ted, or Dougal in particular
Dougal:" It's like a big tide of jam coming towards us, but jam made out of old women."
Dougal: "God, Ted. D'you remember that fella who was so good at fashion they had to shoot him?"

Rovi

"Me own dog done that to me. Doesn't it look like a face?"

Dermot2468

mike65 wrote:

Mike.

carefull now!

Kojak

whatalanger wrote:

"That would be an ecuminical matter."

Will it still be a class 2 relic when they remove it?

GAAman

"Dont tell me im still on that feckin island!!!!"

legend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STnH2J8JbZM&NR

Kojak

Priest: Careful Ted, that might offend the girls.
Ted: Of course, they all have lovely bottoms.

Brilliant

GAAman

"Thats nearly as mad as that thing you told me about the loaves and the fishes"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-_okm0ekNo&NR

Dudess

Mrs Doyle: "Oh, by the way, father. Pat was wondering if he could put his MASSIVE tool in my box."

Ruu_Old

My linkie should be working fine now, here, can someone confirm please? thanks

GAAman

Linky workie

iFight

MrsDoyle talking about her cakes : ''I put cocaine in them.''

:D:D

Creamy Goodness

"Are those my feet?"

iFight

May aswell go for another

Dougal: Half one? And the competition is in?
Ted: May.

carrotcake

"It'd blow your face into the side of a tree"

Carcharodon

My lovely horse.

so funny...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkvNRT6DIW0&mode=related&search=

hiscan

ted to dougal about the cows
"these ones here are small but the ones out there are far away"

kevmy

Fr. Noel
'Ah Ted will ya do the Fandango'
'I'm putting you on my list of enemies'
'...the thing about Fr. Fitzgibbon is that he looked like a cup'

Henry Sellers
'Sack me! SACK ME!! I MADE THE BBC!!!!'

SoupyNorman

"just play the fu(king note"

OctavarIan

"It's Ireland's biggest lingerie section I understand"

Father Stack: "Sports day. A load of little boys running around in shorts. Of course, you're imagining what they'd look like without the shorts. You're sitting there, imagining that, with a big smile on your face. Ye dirty feckers."

Dougal: "THOSE WOMEN WERE IN THE NIP :eek: "

Ruu_Old

Dougal: "Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy."

Ted: "JUST PLAY THE F***ING NOTE!!!":D

bluto63

Just after crashing the hearse

DOUGAL: "Sorry bout that"

Tha Gopher

"Its me father.....ya ignorant bastard" Pat Mustard. Just the tone of the voice.

"Ride me sideways was another one" Apparently that quote was improv, and if you watch it Dermot Morgan has to try hard not to laugh at the unexpected joke. Hafta check it next time.




This must be the 1768th Fr Ted Quotes thread in boards history, and its still fresh and welcome

Rovi

"It's me own money Father, I just didn't feel like doing all the paperwork."

Tha Gopher

Tha Gopher wrote:

"

"Ride me sideways was another one" Apparently that quote was improv, and if you watch it Dermot Morgan has to try hard not to laugh at the unexpected joke. Hafta check it next time.




QUOTE]
Which episode was that in?

carrotcake

Deleted User wrote:

Tha Gopher wrote:

"

"Ride me sideways was another one" Apparently that quote was improv, and if you watch it Dermot Morgan has to try hard not to laugh at the unexpected joke. Hafta check it next time.




QUOTE]
Which episode was that in?

the first series, where the author stays in the house while her house is being built

Rovi

carrotcake wrote:

the first series, where the author stays in the house while her house is being built

Yep, Season 1, Episode 5: And God Created Woman.
Guest starring Gemma Craven as the author Polly Clarke.
http://www.tv.com/father-ted/and-god-created-woman/episode/52885/summary.html

threebeards

The episode with the rabbits:

JACK: Rats....hairy Japanese bastards!!!

The very first episode - Dougal holding the broken TV screen up:

JACK: How did that gobsh1te get on the television!!

I have to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse.

Roar

a Mrs Doyle classic..

"and the language! F you... F you and your effin wife... I'll shove this effin pitchfork up your hole!"

"ride me sideways, that was another one!"

danniemcq

hurrah!

Ted: Ah, Sister Assumpta.

Sister Assumpta: Hello Father.

Ted: Dougal, Dougal, do you remember Sister Assumpta?

Dougal: Er, no.

Ted: She was here last year. And then we stayed with her in the convent, back in Kildare. Do you remember it? Ah, you do. And then you were hit by the car when you went down to the shops for the paper. You must remember all that? And then you won a hundred pounds with your lottery card? Ah, you must remember it, Dougal.

[Dougal shakes his head.]

Sister Assumpta: And weren't you accidentally arrested for shoplifting? I remember we had to go down to the police station to get you. And the police station went on fire? And you had to be rescued by helicopter?

Ted: Do you remember? You can't remember any of that? The helicopter. When you fell out of the helicopter. Over the zoo. Do you remember the tigers?

[Dougal shakes his head some more.]

Ted: You don't remember? You were wearing your blue jumper.

Dougal: Ah, Sister Assumpta.

User45701

What about the scene when that guy from the tv station is on the island

TV Guy: Thats a nasty skar u have there tom
Tom: Eye I Was in a arguement
Tv guy: I hope you won
Tom: I certanley did!

carrotcake

"Ted! Did Len find the rabbits?!"

sweetie

The one where they are driving the car for the competition back to craggy island and Ted wakes up , stretches, puts his hands back on the wheel and goes 'I nearly fell asleep there.'

Ruu_Old

Brilliant episode with Father Noel in the caravan and the angry chap and his wife they always came across.

"Father Ted Crilly, Craggy Island Parochial House...Craggy Island, thats C-r-a-g-g-y Island"

Rovi

Ah yes, Father Noel Furlong: "Lets have a screeching contest!"

elurhs

Coming home from the holiday with the naked fella on the car bonnet:

Ted: Ah come on now, there's no need for that...

Man punctures first tyre

Ted: There's no call for that..

Man punctures second tyre

Ted: Come on now. Stop that...
Dougal: HE'S PUNCTURING THE TYRES TED!

Dudess

Ok, I'm paraphrasing:

Frail old priest: I had a mild heart attack recently so I can't be startled by loud noi... (Dougal interrupts) AAAAAAAAH! TED!!!! We forgot to put on Alien!!!

Ruu_Old

Alan: Should I call the police, Father?
Father Ted: No. He's lost the trust of his sheep. That's punishment enough for a farmer who deals primarily...with sheep.

A moment of brilliance from Father Jack.

*while everyone looking at Jack*
Father Jack: They lie in wait like wolves. The smell of blood in their nostrils. Waiting. Interminably waiting. And then...
Father Dougal: He's right, Ted.