Quotes

Piste

Everyone has those crazy things in their memories that people say, I know Aisling in my class kept a Quotebook, and Jen has her Quotebook going since '04. I only remember a few quotes from 06 (damn me and my not writing things down!)

"The Luas will solve all our problems, including the need to wear Pants...here's a puppy"- Steve, Game Theory Instructor.

"What's the point of the Traffic Light Ball?"-steve
"to get with as many people as possible?"- Liz
"No that's the CTYI disco"- steve

"It's an amazing feeling of power, like you could deflower a nun with your mind at 50 paces"- Steve

Shiney

Cliodhna: A nuclear war would be really exciting, bad, but exciting

Me: Shane left an open can of coke in his bag
Shane: It was diet coke!!!!
Siobhan: so the bag won't get fat

Theoretical Physics answer to moving objects or getting out of places: Throw your shoes!!



I can't remember that many, that's about it really

Raphael

Shiney wrote:

Theoretical Physics answer to moving objects or getting out of places: Throw your shoes!!

No one suggested expulsion of Bodily fluids this year? How disappointing...

Piste

When I was dressed in an Opeth t-shirt with a large black trench coat for the Second Disco where I wanted to be dressed as Sweden Emma said to me "Hey are you dressed as Aonghus?"

PurpleFistMixer

"This is gonna get a bit nazi..." - Dave, TheoPhys Instructor.
Only he didn't actually say nazi, he said "mathsy", but certainly SOUNDED like nazi.
And this was twisted into
"This is gonna get a bit anti-semitic..."

This then begot the bastard child of fractals everywhere, the Natzel.

There are others, but I recall them not. Something about Bill Clinton. I think Jen knows.

Also, a wonderful joke.

Knock Knock
- Who's there?
Interrupting Coefficient of Friction.
- Interrupting Coefficien-
Myu.

Also, THE CHAIR BEHIND YOU HAS JUST TURNED INTO A CLOUD.

JenLorigan

The Bill Clinton one happened when people were being "One in every X Americans..."-y.

"Did you know that one in every three hundred million Americans is Bill Clinton?"

I'll post more later. I'm tired.

For TheoPhys:
FIVE!!

Jack Lynch

'DNA testing doesn't work on them. They're all the same!'

Mairead, talking about people from Connemara, IH '05 (Hell yeah!)

'Go, go, spread your impaling and ass-sticking'

Squee's impression of the Pope talking to Vlad the impaler, IH '05 (Hell yeah!)

'Primitive man started it, Ancient Greeks and Romans enjoyed it outdoors with an audience, the Church banned it for it's indecency, the Renaissance Italians spread it, the French perfected it, the Nazis condoned it, in Ireland today you get tax-relief for doing it professionally. Mime; because it's just that good!'

Tara's intro to her History of Mime project, IH '05 (Hell yeah!)

'Grammar is our specialism'

Someone at IH '05 (Hell yeah!)

'Are the men in white coats doctors?'

Caitlin seeing an umpire at her firsrt ever GAA match (which Cork won!), IH '05 (Hell yeah!)

'Send the Jews to Australia'

IH '05's (Hell yeah!) solution to World War 2

'She's just such a big man!'

Margaret Thatcher, as told by Mairead, IH '05 (Hell yeah!)

Well, that's me done for now...

Madeleine

Hey, Luke, what colour are arranged marraiges?
-Jamie

I know how to get it on, I just can't get it up
-Darren

Make sure the balls don't drop
-Eamonn

They're so racist against vegetarians
-Sorcha

Is that a girl?
No, its Madeleine
-Some randomer and Robbie

Madeleine, why are you between my legs?
-Robbie

Thats what you get for wearing women's clothing to class
-Brona

Last year we did all the Star Wars movies in 6 minutes and stop looking at Eoghan's ass
-Brona

Someone get the duct tape
-Ivan

I'm a tree!
-Silky

Eh... You're a bitch, nice immune system no immune system
-Eoghan

I slept with Eiseart *proud look*
-Eamonn

Only not really
-Shereen

I don't want to have sex with Fionn!
-Gym

Congratulations to Madeleine Carroll on attaining Dutch citizenship
-Absolutely everyone...

I've been celibate since I was ten
-Emma

Only without the fur and fishy smell.
Give it a while...

-Fionn and Eamonn

Isengard, Duck leg!
-Marrianne

Its Floamgasmic!
-Doireann

Before I had Floam, I would invite women to my house, and kill them
-Ciaran

We're on speed!!!
-The Drama class

They're just random ones which I copied from my blog

Thursday*

Oh my God did you do drama this year? Madness! I can't fully internalise that another CTYI drama class happened and it wasn't _us_....in case you haven't guessed, I did drama last year. Isn't Brona a legend?

Oh, and as for relevance to the thread, there are a gazillion good quotes from Drama last year, and Kathryn is your woman, everybody. I'll get on to her and tell her to post them, she has them all written down. So that's me off the hook to ask this nice Madeleine person about drama 06.

Adesina

'I'd rather guoge out my eyes and lick mustard of a hobo's feet' - Becky

'PACAW! PACAW! I'm a dinosaur!" - Aoiffe

'Don't lick me, you're not retarded!' - Becka

'We need to get all homeless people off the street and into prison......oh oh and shelters!' - Aoiffe

'We wouldn't excecute them until the legal age... which is twelve' - Me (During the death penalty debate)

'AHHHHHHHHH!!! CHRIST!!!!!' - Becky
'You sound like a hippo giving birth' - Aisling

'A retard is just a really stupid person with a cert to prove it' - Becky

'You look like a thug' - Becka
'Yeah, well, you look like a gay retarded sailor but you don't hear me saying anything about that do you?' - Becky

'Imagine being looked up in the dark for two and a half years' - Me
'You'd get so bored' - Maeve
'Nah, you'd just **** all the time' - Matt

'It's not like it's your boyfriend's penis, just give it to me!' - Maeve

'Becky... Becky... BECKY!!! Get you're ponytail out of my crotch, it's making me feel really weird!' - Becka

'Well you'll never have to push a ten pound baby out of your vagina' - Me
'And by the way EVERYTHING RIPS!! - Becky (During the abortion debate)

'Girls your age should be watching their figure' - Boris (To Sheila after she ate two malteasers)

'Are you sure he didn't drug you and THEN take you to bed?' - Maurits

'If Matt raped you, would you keep the baby?' - Maurits
'Why do you have a fascination with Matt raping me?' - Me
'Fine, fine, you can have your pick out of all the guys in our class, which one of them do you want to rape you and then would you keep the baby?' - Maurits

'Waterford is the shopping capital of the South-East' - Becka

'Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee cofee coffee coffee, TROUSERS! TROUSERS! coffee coffee coffee coffee' - Me and Aisling

'She came in your tea' - Aisling

Shiney

While playing Charades one Sunday:

Eoin Murphy indicated that the phrase had 3 words

Eoghan Quinn : Eoin Is Gay
Eoin Murphy: Why yes, yes you are
Eoghan: Oh yeah that's my name too

I can't remember it word for word, but that's the general idea

slasher_65

There are SO many "steve qoutes", where to start?

this shall do nicely.

"dont push fat kids.
its hard."


Me: (qouteing squee at the "meet and greet" thing) so. whats your fave sexual fantacy?
emma: raping you until you lie dead on the floor.
guy beside me (whispering): you are IN!

Piste

Oh yeah Meet and Greet was great

"Hi, I'm Sam"
"Ohh, you're my roommate's cousin!"
"Ah, you're Aoife's cousin."
"No, you're Aoife's cousin, I'm Aoife's roommate"

M&M part two!

Here's some more quotes people have neglected!!!

Killian: You were in my thing!
Emma T <m&m part 1>: Well, duh!
Darragh: Now what kind of thing was this?
Emma T: Inuendo!

Aisling: Expecto Patronum!
Sorcha: Run away!

Brona: I'll give half a point for amusing answers.
Adam: Does Bob count?

Kitty: I was a founding member of the spoon cult!

Emma T: (after reading Cian's quotes) Bad move, Cian, bad MOVE! Remind me to kill him at the next reunion!

Steve: Let's play a nice card game. Like chess!

Brona: Do you see that guy with the bins? That's my boyfriend. Let's all wave!

Cillian: Lord, give me donuts!

slasher_65

steve: what is most important in any type of re;ationship? (or something like that)

joh (possibly): toast?

emz (m&m pt.1!)

:eek: How has no one put this quote up yet!

Liz: money is better than dignity! (the game theory moto!)

JenLorigan

My quotebook has been going on longest, therefore my penis is bigger than all of yours.

Many of these will make little sense out of context, but... i don't care (:

Dave (TheoPhys Instructor):"When you sit down, you're not actually sitting on anything, you're just floating on a cloud of electrons."
Steph:"No wonder I feel so negative all the time."

Steph:"I tried to draw a spaceship and I drew a shark."

Shane:"If you fail You're A Star, you can enter You're A Jupiter."

[When everyone was doing "Did you know X out of Y Americans are...?"]
David:"Did you know that one in three hundred million Americans is Bill Clinton?"

Steph:"Damn Jupiter. it couldn't be a star, now it steals moons."

Dave:"There's a race on at the minute to build a high-dimensional super-conductor."
Matt (TA):"Um... Temperature. High-temperature."

Someone:"Could we build a gyroscope?"
Matt:"Well, you could try. But you'd fail."

Steph:"Meanwhile, the astronauts deployed the boulder."

David:"We're just floating on a bed of electrons. Delicious, delicious electrons."

Me:"They could have a death match. Or something not involving death."
Lake:"A life match?"
Me:"Yeah, First person to die, loses. Wait, that's how death matches work too. Screw it, have the death match."

Steph:"Physicists throwing gravity at each other..."

There are probably others, but I'm tired.

Twinkle-star15

'Andrex toilet paper; on the whole, its pretty good.'- Lewis

'Did you know that on Mars we have 50 letters in the albhabet, 24 of which were added since the invention of bra sizes' - Conor.

'Emos selling inflatable nuns!'- Sharon

'You wanted it to happen Ciaran; and when it did you were delighted.' - Deirdre

'Pea-nuts is an STD.' - Lewis

'Hillary's from earth, Helga's from Mars, they're lesbian lovers, and that's all you need to know.' - Conor

Deirdre:'I'm not allowed to go to the first hour of the disco!'
Claire:'What did you do?'
Deirdre:'Em..I'd rather not say.'
(After some prodding from everyone)
Deirdre:'On the murder mystery night, i asked Tom the RA how frequently he masturbated!'

'Penisland. You make me yearn for places that are pennier.' - Ciaran

'As American as apple pie.' - Liz

'The CTYI sense of humour never changes.' - Abie

'Mother Theresa and Pope John Paul II split up, now rumour has it Mother Theresa's going out with Gandhi.' - Abie (in Jesus, the Guantanamo years)

'Did you know that when a group of British citizens were taken to Guantanamo, when asked if they needed a translator, one said, 'yes, i need a British translator. The officer then spent half an hour waiting for a British translator, only to discover that British and English were the same language.' Abie (in Jesus, the Guantanamo years)

'Can you imagine if those Guantanamo guards were watching a film about the holocaust, when people wearing the star of David came on screen they'd be like, 'Hey, look, there's the sheriff!' Abie (in Jesus, the Guantanamo years)

'CTYI; the C is for innocent, the T is for smart, the Y is for maturity and the I is for innuendo.' - Sharon

'Let's take a poll: children, white meat or red?' - Claire


'I'm walking around with my hand up an armadillo's ass. That's not something i expected from CTYI.' - Allan


'The baby is your God! Don't poke your God!' - Sharon


'I think if you look carefully you might find there's a slot in the top of my head for coins and we need to put more in because i'm broken.' - Yvonne


'You're not allowed to say brainstorm, it politically incorrect. Its offensive to epileptic people.'- Conor


'Guys could you please not, like, molest each other? Please?' - Claire


'Your ma; we all did her, so what's all the fuss about?' - Ciaran


'We make noise because of cults, charity and psycology games. Sportalians make noise necause of ...bad things.' - Sophie.


'Sara wants so act out rat sex and Allan is all for it so I say we leave them be.'- Deirdre


'I think the bonds of marriage should hold us together before the chains in your basement do.' - Conor


'Would you guys like some, like, sedatives or something?' - Claire


'I'd like to tell you how I feel through interprative dance.'- Liz


'The pork chop people are driving me crazy!' - Hillary


Claire: 'you have pen on your face.'
Emma: 'Is it much? Can i go and wash it off?'
Claire: 'Get Conor to lick it off.'


'Wear your clothes, don't let your clothes wear you.' - Sophie.


'Everything is funnier with the word moist in it.' - Everyone


'Less of the underage lesbianism please.' - Claire (to myself and Eimear. Who else??)


'It's good because its forbidden.' - Hillary


Deirdre [sarcastic]: "Do you like writing femslash?"
Claire [bouncing where she sits like an exited three-year-old]: "It's pretty! So pretty!"

_________________________

How come more Ses 1 quotes haven't been put up?

carlowboy

Twinkle-Star. Because there's less of us poor feckers on the board.
First one I can think of is:
"Nothing like a bit of sex"
Neil after being sex slave after every single game of Capitalism

Jack Lynch

Jesus, the Guantanamo Years? Que? Im intrigued!

Twinkle-star15

Jack Lynch wrote:

Jesus, the Guantanamo Years? Que? Im intrigued!

It's a comedy/play thing that was on in the Project Arts Theatre. Written and perfomed by Abie. REALLY good . It's about what would happen if Jesus tried to get into America these days [bearded Palestinian willing to die for his religion].

Another one=

Conor: I think the bonds of marraige should hold us together before the chains in your basement do.

Undergod

Yes, it was very good. It's on Bebo as well, for feedback. It's in Edinbrugh at the mo. Was there a CTYI outing or summat, or is it just a funny quote?

Twinkle-star15

Undergod wrote:

Was there a CTYI outing or summat, or is it just a funny quote?

The only Writing For Life class went.

JenLorigan

Just remembered,"Your hair always smells delicious, how do you do that?"
(<3 Meeka)

Cronus333

Evan (upon seeing Daithi's placard: India's going down like a one legged man in a bottom kicking contest)- I want that withdrawn. It offends me!!
Daithi- No you misinterpretted, I was actually referring to sudden seismic changes that could theoretically leave India below sea level!

Jamie(our TA, to Dearbhail)- You are going to die alone

Caitlin- Ireland would like to remain neutral on this issue

Dearbhail- The Hallowed Halls of the UN!!

Me- I kill civilians

Piste

Undergod wrote:

Yes, it was very good. It's on Bebo as well, for feedback. It's in Edinbrugh at the mo. Was there a CTYI outing or summat, or is it just a funny quote?

It's coming back to Dublin too next month.

Raphael

In an over 18s venue =(

It wasn't me!

What venue is it? See Aonghus, this is why you shouldn't have shaved or cut your hair! Though I also am now in the baby-faced department... I miss my beard.

Raphael

Psht, I still got gauged at about 24 by someone. THey thought I was Oisíns older brother. XD.

And it's spirit.

Piste

Spirit? Really? Is it part of the Dublin Fringe Festival? I wonder if Carly'd lend me her ID...

Acid_Violet

We were trying to figure out how tall Danny is,

Danny; How big is an inch about?
Robbie; *finger motions* About this big.
Me; hmmm, wonder how you knew that Robbie?
Robbie; I did Warhammer!

Also, Shane in regards to Daron the whole time,
'He thinks he's fourteen but he's really eight.'

I think this was Daithí and Robbie for the most part
'Don't squeeze too much juice out of the ferrets'............something like that.

Daithí; Clíodhna, quick, can we and Robbie use your vaseline?
Shane; It's not for what you think it is.
They were actually waterproofing their RA's drawer to put a fish in it.

Raphael

Piste wrote:

Spirit? Really? Is it part of the Dublin Fringe Festival? I wonder if Carly'd lend me her ID...

I think it is Liz, check ticketmaster

Undergod

Acid_Violet wrote:

Daithí; Clíodhna, quick, can we and Robbie use your vaseline?
Shane; It's not for what you think it is.
They were actually waterproofing their RA's drawer to put a fish in it.

Seen it. With hilarious consequences though.

Acid_Violet

Undergod wrote:

Seen it. With hilarious consequences though.

Twas blatant plagiarism and sorry Daithí but the hamster idea was much better.

Piste

Except Dave Ryan decied that he no longer wanted his hamster and so gave it to Jeff.

slasher_65

the disgrase! we spent.... €70 on that hamster!

Acid_Violet

So now Jeff has two hamsters? How can we tell Ultimate hamster and the other crappy Cave-man Dave one apart. I say we kill it.

Undergod

Yeah... so...

[injoke relevant to older people, hopefully one that'll go over the heads of those above]

Piste

Acid_Violet wrote:

So now Jeff has two hamsters? How can we tell Ultimate hamster and the other crappy Cave-man Dave one apart. I say we kill it.

Ultimate Hamster has been officially names Piste. The other, inferior hamster was given away afaik.

Little Pistie's a ninja hamster, it did super ninja, ACROBATIC tricks onthe bars of its cage.

Acid_Violet

No! Piste isn't a good name! I demand that's it's rerenamed Ultimate Hamster or I'll cripple it so it can't do anymore tricks!


All below are copied from mad's blog!



And you get half a point for answers that make me laugh.
Does Bob count?
-Brona and Adam



sinead - <reading packet of something r other> "cheap, fast and easy"
Ro - like you
sinead - im not that fast ... ... ... ... ... oh wait




me (on 1st day) - where do you get the ... that
some guy - fork?
me - no, wat your water is in
s.g. - a cup?
me (looking down with shame) - ye
s.g - over there (points like an inch to my left)
jamie - ok thanx...




me, fionn, ellen, ro, sinead - would you like a knob? (to passers by, holding out hobnobs)




sam - you cnt make me nervous

30 seconds later

sam - aaaargh!!, get out of there!!!



Sam - if you know what i mean

Madeleine

Most of that was already there, m'dear

Edit whore!

Per Liefsonson

"What's worse than getting shot?"

RefulgentGnomon

"What's worse than getting shot?"

Hmmm, that went on for quite a while!

Acid_Violet

Some guy at the Pineapple wedding;

Pineapple's can't say no!

Piste

Per Liefsonson wrote:

"What's worse than getting shot?"

Oh god...and then Ivan faked orgasms.

Thursday*

At the reunion during Session 2, sitting in the park,

Me: CTYIzens really are even more sex-obsessed than other teenagers, aren't they?

(some quiet debate)

Conor Sneyd: It's cause we're all nerds and we don't get any.

(laughter)

CS: *shrugs* It had to be said!

Piste

Thursday* wrote:

Conor Sneyd: It's cause we're all nerds and we don't get any.

Well maybe HE doesn't...

Acid_Violet

Or maybe we just talk about sex cos we're not uncomfortable talking about it.

JenLorigan

Or because we're six and want to show off how very much we know

And in keeping with the thread:
Liz:"I'm not silly!"
[RA walks in]
[Liz makes the Bullwinkle-Surprise face]

PurpleFistMixer

Six year olds REALLY shouldn't know all that much about sex.

Acid_Violet

I never perceived that myself, but on the topic of six-year olds and sex (no, I'm not getting at THAT) did anyone else see that 'Secrets of the playground' thing or something like that on Channel 4?