New cure for online tilt discovered!!

El Stuntman

after giving up 2 buy-ins at 3/6 with pocket Aces cracked twice in 10 minutes (by Q6 sooted and Q9 soooooted :mad: ); throw monitor out of window

worked really well!!

Mrs Stuntman somewhat startled and Stuntdog even more so given that it landed about 6 inches from her nose, however primary objective was achieved and mental equilibrium now fully restored

(note: do not try this if living in high-rise apartment block)

Any other cures out there?

Mr. Flibble

This is good. You can't tilt off any buyins now untill you have a new monitor and tilt has left you.

El Stuntman

Mr. Flibble wrote:

This is good. You can't tilt off any buyins now untill you have a new monitor and tilt has left you.

my thinking exactly (although I'm not sure that getting it all in with Aces pre-flop qualifies as tilt?)

anyway better safe than sorry and all that

Mr. Flibble

I was referring to the ensuing tilt. No point in taking a chance leaving yourself with the option to play on.

luckylucky

El Stuntman wrote:

after giving up 2 buy-ins at 3/6 with pocket Aces cracked twice in 10 minutes (by Q6 sooted and Q9 soooooted :mad: ); throw monitor out of window

worked really well!!

Mrs Stuntman somewhat startled and Stuntdog even more so given that it landed about 6 inches from her nose, however primary objective was achieved and mental equilibrium now fully restored

(note: do not try this if living in high-rise apartment block)

Any other cures out there?

Lol. I've always thought it was just as well we don't have a cat or that would have got a boot out da window 'n all.

On a more serious note :- if I suffer a bad beat or the opposite get caught on a big bluff I think it's best to just lay real low for a while at that table :- try to slip back under the radar so to speak :- I may reload once if I think table is poor but if I get nobbled again at that table I think it's best to leave no matter what da standard is like - my experience thus far has told me once u start 2 run bad at a table other people become more confident against u and even poor players make better plays - so even if u still have a positive expectation ur advantage seems to diminish.

fuzzbox

Have a supply of mouses.

When AA gets cracked twice in big pots (or worse ... a set gets cracked by a gutshot) ... simply destroy mouse by repeatedly attacking the wall with it.

Once mouse has been thoroughly destroyed, karma should be fully restored, and you can take a new "luckier" mouse from your stockpile - then call up komplet and order a new one to replace the old one, so that your stockpile is up to scratch.

El Stuntman

fuzzbox wrote:

Have a supply of mouses.

When AA gets cracked twice in big pots (or worse ... a set gets cracked by a gutshot) ... simply destroy mouse by repeatedly attacking the wall with it.

Once mouse has been thoroughly destroyed, karma should be fully restored, and you can take a new "luckier" mouse from your stockpile - then call up komplet and order a new one to replace the old one, so that your stockpile is up to scratch.

yes, yes, yes this is all very good Fuzz but how do I protect myself from the dreaded TILTMONSTER when I'm in a deepstacked cash game in the SE and my set gets done by runner runner flush (the Chief of course so I can't take it personally)

I need a Live tilt cure to backup my online one...suggestions??

jimbling

fuzzbox wrote:

Have a supply of mouses.

When AA gets cracked twice in big pots (or worse ... a set gets cracked by a gutshot) ... simply destroy mouse by repeatedly attacking the wall with it.

Once mouse has been thoroughly destroyed, karma should be fully restored, and you can take a new "luckier" mouse from your stockpile - then call up komplet and order a new one to replace the old one, so that your stockpile is up to scratch.

fuzzbox once again shows the way forward....... brilliant

brianmc

El Stuntman wrote:

yes, yes, yes this is all very good Fuzz but how do I protect myself from the dreaded TILTMONSTER when I'm in a deepstacked cash game in the SE and my set gets done by runner runner flush (the Chief of course so I can't take it personally)

I need a Live tilt cure to backup my online one...suggestions??

Carry one of those little laptop mouses in your pocket.

AmarilloFats

My new tilt line is .....sock chewing...Chew that sock
It's much better than
fridge punching
mirror headbutting
mouse throwing
putter snapping
etc.

mmmm sock.

careca

could we all not just learn from Hellmuth and take it like a man.

El Stuntman

AmarilloFats wrote:

My new tilt line is .....sock chewing...Chew that sock
It's much better than
fridge punching
mirror headbutting
mouse throwing
putter snapping
etc.

mmmm sock.

it certainly has the advantage of being cheaper

can't see it working live though as you might tend to get strange looks at the table when you remove your sock and commence to chewing upon it?

bman

El Stuntman wrote:

it certainly has the advantage of being cheaper

can't see it working live though as you might tend to get strange looks at the table when you remove your sock and commence to chewing upon it?

Or it may put everyone else at the table on tilt and therefore have a double positive effect. Now your the only person at the table not on tilt!

El Stuntman

bman wrote:

Or it may put everyone else at the table on tilt and therefore have a double positive effect. Now your the only person at the table not on tilt!

yes but I do have a sock in my gob

who's the loser now?

AmarilloFats

I reckon there's a distinct lack of "disco biscuits" in your life..

5starpool

Depends who's sock it is and whether other garments are included in the bargain.

Also, I am not a dog lover per se, but a stuntdog sounds like the nuts.

Scouser in Dub

It was a good throw if replacing the Monitor is cheaper than you would have tilted

edited due to still being drunk

El Stuntman

5starpool wrote:

Also, I am not a dog lover per se, but a stuntdog sounds like the nuts.

Stuntdog bio....

she is fairly cool but I'm having trouble with teaching her stunts...she's more of an Amarillo style dog I fear as she seems to prefer chewing on socks

she also likes eating poker chips

and was purchased with poker winnings!! ka-boom

PiperT

El Stuntman wrote:

after giving up 2 buy-ins at 3/6 with pocket Aces cracked twice in 10 minutes (by Q6 sooted and Q9 soooooted :mad: ); throw monitor out of window

worked really well!!

Mrs Stuntman somewhat startled and Stuntdog even more so given that it landed about 6 inches from her nose, however primary objective was achieved and mental equilibrium now fully restored

(note: do not try this if living in high-rise apartment block)

Any other cures out there?

You should learn the bagpipes, nothing better than a good blowout and piss off the neighbours and frighten the s**t out of the animals all at the same time. I'm offering lessons:D to anybody thats interested ! lol

El Stuntman

PiperT wrote:

nothing better than a good blowout

I really hope that's a Freudian dick

Bandana boy

El Stuntman wrote:

yes, yes, yes this is all very good Fuzz but how do I protect myself from the dreaded TILTMONSTER when I'm in a deepstacked cash game in the SE and my set gets done by runner runner flush (the Chief of course so I can't take it personally)

I need a Live tilt cure to backup my online one...suggestions??

Ol stuntwoman might not be too happy but a trip to visit the Eastern european Stunt girls on the strazza 50 bucks 10 mins and you will be back in the SE with a smile on your face full of Zen calm

El Stuntman

Bandana boy wrote:

Ol stuntwoman might not be too happy but a trip to visit the Eastern european Stunt girls on the strazza 50 bucks 10 mins and you will be back in the SE with a smile on your face full of Zen calm

I understand some of this post I think (stunt girls 'on the strazza'? WTF?)

anyway my tilt reduction strategies must involve not leaving the table

(useful) suggestions so far:

smashing portable mouse
eating my socks

how about some kind of transcendental meditation thingy?

Bandana boy

Strazza being what us young urban professionals call leeson Street

El Stuntman

Bandana boy wrote:

Strazza being what us young urban professionals call leeson Street

holy crap!!

in my day (takes out comfortable slippers, pipe and packet of Worthers original), Leeson Street was full of drunken hounds from Ballygobackwards who weighed an average of 15 stones and possesed 3 teeth between them

progress eh? you've never had it so good you young folks....

<dribbles uncontrollably down chin and falls asleep>

ntlbell

It's not the easiest thing to do in the SE or the Fitz but I find giving Mrs.Bell a good aul rodgering cures all my tilt issues!

califano

ntlbell wrote:

It's not the easiest thing to do in the SE or the Fitz but I find giving Mrs.Bell a good aul rodgering cures all my tilt issues!

LOL. I bet she thinks your intentions are always honourable?:D

El Stuntman

bloody hell lads...how to hijack a serious thread and drag it down into the gutter...

<shakes head slowly in a more-in-sorrow-than-in-anger kind of way>

Lafortezza

Wait if you really threw your monitor out the window, did you disconnect the cables at the back of the monitor?

There's 2 cables plugged into the back of my screen, one you just pull out, the other has those little securing screws that you need to undo first.
So I you need to take 2 mins to undo these cables, it kind of defeats the purpose and satisfaction of grabbing your monitor and hurling it in a fit of rage. You might even need to go get a screw driver to completely disconnect it.
Also if you don't unplug the cables you will drag your whole PC off the desk, thus risking damaging your HD and so on. You might even break your favourite mug or something.

I hope I'm not missing the point of this thread.

Mr. Flibble

No man, thats the best part. So long as you have a good lumpy CRT and not one of those frisbee LCD ones the snap on the cable as the monitor rounds the window ledge and starts its plummet is quite satisfying. Really whips about after breaking the securing.

I have to admit not having done this myself, although I did go through two Gamegears back in the day after having a boxing match with their screen (and coming out the victor after both bouts I might add).

El Stuntman

lafortezza wrote:

Wait if you really threw your monitor out the window, did you disconnect the cables at the back of the monitor?

There's 2 cables plugged into the back of my screen, one you just pull out, the other has those little securing screws that you need to undo first.
So I you need to take 2 mins to undo these cables, it kind of defeats the purpose and satisfaction of grabbing your monitor and hurling it in a fit of rage. You might even need to go get a screw driver to completely disconnect it.
Also if you don't unplug the cables you will drag your whole PC off the desk, thus risking damaging your HD and so on. You might even break your favourite mug or something.

I hope I'm not missing the point of this thread.

Hi Laf,

I never bother with screwing them yokes in so it didn't slow me down (maybe by about 2 secs)

plus i always hated that monitor so now I get to buy a new one!! it wasn't quite as extravagant as it sounds given that the disposal fee for getting right of it was probably more than the value of the damn thing but, oh, the satisfaction of killing the nasty internet thingy....

p.s. - let Hector back in wouldya, sounds like he's playing in some serious games in Vegas and we deserve details!

Lafortezza

El Stuntman wrote:

Hi Laf,
plus i always hated that monitor so now I get to buy a new one!! it wasn't quite as extravagant as it sounds given that the disposal fee for getting right of it was probably more than the value of the damn thing but, oh, the satisfaction of killing the nasty internet thingy....

p.s. - let Hector back in wouldya, sounds like he's playing in some serious games in Vegas and we deserve details!

Hi El S, might I suggest this, HJ will have access this evening.

El Stuntman

lafortezza wrote:

Hi El S, might I suggest this, HJ will have access this evening.

woweee, that is a feckin' beast of a monitor!!!

might have to win a tournie to pay for it though

Bandana boy

El Stuntman wrote:

woweee, that is a feckin' beast of a monitor!!!

might have to win a tournie to pay for it though

but just think how gracefull that will look sallying through your window after the next bad beat :eek:
I mean it looks like it is aerodynamic enough to really go far

El Stuntman

Bandana boy wrote:

but just think how gracefull that will look sallying through your window after the next bad beat :eek:
I mean it looks like it is aerodynamic enough to really go far

for that price I'd expect it to do two laps of the garden and fly back into my hand!!

5starpool

El Stuntman wrote:

for that price I'd expect it to do two laps of the garden and fly back into my hand!!

Have a look on the Australian Dell site for one of those.

Samba

Get a punching bag and hang it near your computer.

These past three weeks i've experienced with online poker have left a foul taste in my mouth.

AA being cracked twice in a row is a stroll in the park in comparison to what i've seen....

Try flopped nuts turned and rivered by straight flushes, trips v my set turning into quads, AK v K3 all in PF, he hits trips, AA v 22 all in PF he rivers a 2 i could go on and on like a broken record player but lifes too short

There is only so much a man can take and so i bid adieu to online poker.... here comes the SE and the Fitz, where i shall no doubt be deemed as a rock due to my internet experiences.....

El Stuntman

Samba wrote:

There is only so much a man can take and so i bid adieu to online poker.... here comes the SE and the Fitz, where i shall no doubt be deemed as a rock due to my internet experiences.....

I'll see you there Samba but we are still struggling to come up with the optimal live tilt reduction strategy...any insights?

maybe I'll just take some of Amarillo's disco biscuits

Samba

Ahhh that's easy!

You simply wait until the mug exits the premises, you then bring him aside and sit him down for a good chat.

Hero: How could you think 33 could be good? The flop was AKQ high!?

Villain: Umm, ehh, are you going to hurt me?

Hero: That really depends on your answer, now think carefully before you speak

El Stuntman

Samba wrote:

Ahhh that's easy!

You simply wait until the mug exits the premises, you then bring him aside and sit him down for a good chat.

Hero: How could you think 33 could be good? The flop was AKQ high!?

Villain: Umm, ehh, are you going to hurt me?

Hero: That really depends on your answer, now think carefully before you speak

and then club him viciously with a rusty baseball bat?

Samba

what weapon we use will depend on the answer.

Scenarios:

"I had a pair"

Solution: Rusty Baseball Bat

"Im new to the game"

Solution: Back of the hand

"I thought i had good odds to hit a 3"

Spiked rusty baseball bat with gyrating spikes and nails

El Stuntman

I don't want to leave my seat though

we need something a bit more eh 'subtle'

poisoned darts from a blowpipe perhaps?

5starpool

El Stuntman wrote:

I don't want to leave my seat though

we need something a bit more eh 'subtle'

poisoned darts from a blowpipe perhaps?

golf shoes, and a rake on the shin.

El Stuntman

5starpool wrote:

golf shoes, and a rake on the shin.

I hate f**king golfers

pringle-wearing muppets who can't even play a real sport

(halts OT rant before getting started)

luckylucky

How about when u go on tilt - drop down to some piddly little no limit game - and play like a total maniac - and try to put bad beats on the guys there who actually care about losing $5 - if ur 72o beats there aces u can have a right laugh if not it's not exactly as if u r going to give a crap.

El Stuntman

luckylucky wrote:

How about when u go on tilt - drop down to some piddly little no limit game - and play like a total maniac - and try to put bad beats on the guys there who actually care about losing $5 - if ur 72o beats there aces u can have a right laugh if not it's not exactly as if u r going to give a crap.

hmmm, not really possible in a casino (unless you're in Vegas and you can do mad stuff on the cheapo slots for 10 minutes to clear your head!)

come on people we can do better!!

tricky D

El Stuntman wrote:

Mrs Stuntman somewhat startled and Stuntdog even more so given that it landed about 6 inches from her nose, however primary objective was achieved and mental equilibrium now fully restored

Hmm. I would have thought that a proper Stuntmonitor would have been fixed up and ready for the next take after a minute or two.

califano

tricky D wrote:

Hmm. I would have thought that a proper Stuntmonitor would have been fixed up and ready for the next take after a minute or two.

Just so you can say "Monitor on the way"!

tricky D

touché

Rnger

get someone to kick you in the nads

I've never tried this method of anti-tilt, but I imagine you wont be concerned with the cracked aces anymore (NO INNUENDOS!!)

BigDragon

Rnger wrote:

get someone to kick you in the nads

I've never tried this method of anti-tilt, but I imagine you wont be concerned with the cracked aces anymore (NO INNUENDOS!!)

That'll be the 'Pre-Flop Nuts' cracked then?

DubTony

BigDragon wrote:

That'll be the 'Pre-Flop Nuts' cracked then?

I read that line two hours ago.

I went out.

I met a friend.

I came home.

I had dinner....

and I'm still laughing.

Nice One BD