Grown-ups who cry when they get "in trouble"

Dave!

Hey folks,

just wondering what your thoughts are on these people. I'll give you an example.

There's a girl in work, and she was away for 2 weeks, but rather than ask for the time off she gave away her shifts. Fair enough. But she couldn't get rid of one (the night before she came home anyway), so she tried to ring in sick, but they kinda guilted her out of it, and she ended up telling the truth about being away, etc...
Anyway, the job were telling her that she has to do the shift, they can't let her off it, and all that, and so she... started balling her eyes out while on the phone to them. Now that right there smacks of "fuckineejitry" to me, but then she called her mother, who then rang the job to moan at them. She ended up getting the night off I believe.

In the thread about Eastern Europeans, someone mentioned they know someone who had to pay a fine for the bus, but started crying, so ended up getting off it, and getting some free tickets.

Now, what do ye think of these people? Are they just chancers? Scumbags? Immature? Is it a normal reaction when you're getting "in trouble"? People used to do it often enough in school, but in "the real world", it's a bit much is it not?



normal reaction? immature?

Kiera

I hate people like this. It could be because no matter how much trouble I’m in I cant even force one tear out. I have a friend like this and my boyfriends mother also does this. She’s 46. This really gets on my wick!
Normal reaction: No
Immature: Yes (very)

Miguel_Sanchez

I don't see how you could class someone who cries easily as a 'scumbag'.

Anyways - if someone just cries at the slightest bit of trouble then they would seem to be a bit high strung to me.

However some people know exactly what they are doing and turn on the tears to get away with things. Depends on the person really.

How old is this girl you work with?

Dave!

Jeff_Lebowski wrote:

I don't see how you could class someone who cries easily as a 'scumbag'.

I was just puttin the option out there

Jeff_Lebowski wrote:

How old is this girl you work with?

She's 18, which isn't too bad, but still... she's not in school... How many more years before she stops doing this?

Anyways the story was just to demonstrate the point, I hear and see this crap all the time

Sleipnir

Yeah my mate is a manager in a bank and he pulled one of his staff up on her work who promptly cried, went to bathroom with her friends who consoled her. Then she went home "upset" and didn't come back for a week! A fcuking week!

Then he had the same situation with another girl only this was because she was consistently late. He said something like "Are you having trouble getting in in the morning because you're often late for work?"
BURSTS into tears and goes to HR because he's "picking on her" Another couple of days off to recover from the nightmare.

I had to apologise to a girl once because I shouted at her to drop the live computer power supply she was holding which had no cover on it.
I shouted because she could very easily have electrocuted herself but no, I was "mean" to her. She was off for two days.

It's always women.

It's always women.

Dave!

Sleipnir wrote:

It's always women.

It's always women.

Uh-oh, someone said it

BTW, is anybody here one of the cryers? Do ye wanna tell us why you do it? Give us some insight!

Ragazza

I cry at every strong emotion be it frustration, anger, fear, nervousness, happyness, if I laugh I cry at the same time. I have cried my way through two job interviews, most doctors visits, you get the picture... I just carry on and ask that the other people ignore the tears.

I can't help it! But I never go home 'upset', or use it to get my way. (I frequently get my way anyway because men are afraid of a crying woman)
My boss gives out all the time cause I am late, but strangly I never cry when he is giving out! (Could be I don't care enough)

Seraphina

thats just pathetic. its always women, and i blame the overly pc society that lets them get away with it. daddy's little girl can't be treated that way, everything is harrassment now, and they know it.

Ragazza

Seraphina wrote:

thats just pathetic. its always women, and i blame the overly pc society that lets them get away with it. daddy's little girl can't be treated that way, everything is harrassment now, and they know it.

eh... little harsh, I am not 'Daddys little girl' trying to get my way, I am just making the point, there are some folks that just cant control the waterworks!







*runs off sobbing*

Miguel_Sanchez

If someone who worked for me tried to go home 'upset' because they'd been given out to I think they'd have to start looking for another job pretty damn quick.



Of course nobody works for me.


But if they did!

Zombrex

Suppose it depends on if they are faking it, turning on the water works, so the speak.

Some people (dare I say it, some girls) are quite unprepared emotionally to deal with things not going right in life, and the natural emotional response to this is to get upset and cry. You can't really blame them, I have known girls how have been very embrassed that they started crying when very upset or frustrated.

Of course that doesn't mean you give in. TBH I would have more of a problem with the people who cave at the first sign of a woman crying. How mature or sensible is that? The idea that you wouldn't let a woman (or man) off a bus ticket or parking fine 30 seconds before they start crying but you would 30 seconds afterwards is ridiculous.

I also have no time for fake criers, those who know that crying makes people be more sympathetic to them. You can normally tell though when someone is doing that, especially if you know them. Look as Aisleayn on Big Brother, didn't cry for weeks and now she things the public hate her she never stops crying.

Tar.Aldarion

Girls cry a lot? Well I never!
They shouldn't get away with it, but they do and will.
I must admit, if there is one thing I can't stand it's a girl crying, I have to do something to help her. It's not just the girls at blame. Oh, and fake criers are damn easy to spot.

galah

good thing is: it usually does not wash with other women (like, myself...zero tolerance for this kinda stuff, any "other" woman would not get away with it if I was in charge!). But to have the mother ring back is even worse! Holy cow!

I think it's pathetic if grown-up women start crying, especially when they have only themselves to blame for their stupidity!

But as long as people fall for it, they'll get away with it!

Dave!

Jeff_Lebowski wrote:

If someone who worked for me tried to go home 'upset' because they'd been given out to I think they'd have to start looking for another job pretty damn quick.



Of course nobody works for me.


But if they did!

I'm sure then you'd end up in court over unfair dismissal or somethin like that..... grrg

Crying seems to be a good way of getting what you want/out of trouble. If I wasn't so dead inside I'd do it too.

Archeron

In fairness, it does depend on the person and whether they just use the tears to manipulate. I used to work with a girl who had some sort of emotional issue, and used to burst into tears at the sound of a poorly aimed fart, but she didnt use it to get her own way. She just spent a lot of time in the toilet and a lot of money on mascara, and people just got used to her. (and they avoided her as a result, but hey, so did I!!)

Zombrex

Jeff_Lebowski wrote:

If someone who worked for me tried to go home 'upset' because they'd been given out to I think they'd have to start looking for another job pretty damn quick.
....
Of course nobody works for me.

That could be why

Lust4Life

I hate to let other eople see me cry. And would never turn on the tears just to get my way.
But I do cry at weddings, funerals and really good movies. I hate that I do. I just can't help it.

But, I know a male who cries at just about anything emotional. He's heterosexual and I just want to smack him every time I see him well up with tears. Get a grip, Man! Where's your self respect? His wife thinks it is sooo touching! I think it's downright creepy!

L4L

smash

kinda pathetic I think, be grown up and cop on!!!

Ragazza

'Some people (dare I say it, some girls) are quite unprepared emotionally to deal with things not going right in life, and the natural emotional response to this is to get upset and cry.'

Eh no. It has nothing to do with not being prepared emotionally.

Ruu_Old

Archeron wrote:

In fairness, it does depend on the person and whether they just use the tears to manipulate. I used to work with a girl who had some sort of emotional issue, and used to burst into tears at the sound of a poorly aimed fart, but she didnt use it to get her own way. She just spent a lot of time in the toilet and a lot of money on mascara, and people just got used to her. (and they avoided her as a result, but hey, so did I!!)

Yep, saw this one before and she got away with it for so long.

ThrownAway

I only cry if I'm drunk and something terrible has happened

otherwise I can't cry :eek:

stevenmu

Wait, back up a second .... You can get a week off for crying in work ?



*runs off to buy some onions*






(actually, I used to work as a chef and had to chop up a huge bucket of charlottes, those small little oniony things, and I was still a little embarrassed to cry)

mysterious

DaveMcG wrote:

Uh-oh, someone said it

BTW, is anybody here one of the cryers? Do ye wanna tell us why you do it? Give us some insight!

The simple answer to why they do it.

It worked wonders when there were 6 olds...

- baby cries baby, gets attention

- 27 year old cries, 27 year old gets attention.

how to deal with people like this, is another story for someone else to answer!:D

Amazotheamazing

I can't respect anyone who starts crying becuase they are being criticised or things aren't working out. Generally I wait until they are finished before resuming the conversation.

BaZmO*

stevenmu wrote:

(actually, I used to work as a chef and had to chop up a huge bucket of charlottes

Did the poor girls cry when you were chopping them up?

Sleepy

If you're not professional enough to hold back the tears in work, you're not professional to hold down the job tbh.

Sleipnir, I think your friend's an idiot for letting those girls away with such behaviour. If they can't take negative feedback they're not grown up enough to have a job.

TomCo

DaveMcG wrote:

In the thread about Eastern Europeans, someone mentioned they know someone who had to pay a fine for the bus, but started crying, so ended up getting off it, and getting some free tickets.

That was me. She's not a whinger, it was really just a once off because she honestly couldn’t afford the fine plus it was more of a sob story coupled with some tears rather than the balling crying everyone else is alluding too.

I congratulated her on it actually because I fcuking hate Dublin Bus.

Never the less I agree that in most cases such behaviour is reprehensible, especially when it is used to get the one up on someone.

super_furry

I used to live with a girl like that. She was forever taking the piss in the house, having people over getting ****-faced and rowdy on weeknights, never doing a tap of work and nicking everyone else's stuff. However whenever anyone brought up an issue with her she'd turn hysterical, ball the ****ing house down and ask why she was being bullied. At first she was able to make people confronting her look like the bad guys but after it happened five or six times that was it. Strangely enough she didn't cry at all when we all told we wanted her out of the house.

InFront

I dont think remember the last time I cried (me strrong, like horse!) but crying absolutely freaks the sh1t out of me. I never know what to do with a cryer.. do you touch them? rub their hair? pick at your fingernails until they stop? Thers just no rhyme or reason to it... why does a perfectly grown up adult want to break down in tears?


Something Ive always wanted to do was to start crying when I got in trouble by a teacher or one of my friends or lecturers. Imagine the look on their face if you just sat there with waterworks going off in every direction, bubbling away. That would probably freak them out.

LadyJ

I think,for some people anyway,it's the embarrassment of being "given out to" by another adult that does it.

Pigman II

Wasn't there footage once of a Japanese CEO crying during a press conference after his company went down the tubes?

But yes in my experience it's rare enough but always women who do it (purely because they're the only ones who could get away with - unfairly so imho - they should get a bollocking for it!). I think if a guy did it he'd be told to cop-on or ostracised or just taken outside and given a bit of the old Patton treatment .... and rightly so.

Dyr

Sleipnir wrote:

Yeah my mate is a manager in a bank and he pulled one of his staff up on her work who promptly cried, went to bathroom with her friends who consoled her. Then she went home "upset" and didn't come back for a week! A fcuking week!

Then he had the same situation with another girl only this was because she was consistently late. He said something like "Are you having trouble getting

In all fairness, when you the story of the manager who "only" did something minor like that I tend to fill in the blank's....ie that said manager is a walking p**** who "only" makes their staff's live's a misery.

Just saying, like

constitutionus

i have to ask cause i dont think anyone else has yet. has anyone ever seen a guy do this? and if so did he get his mammy to ring the boss afterwards?

we get alot of bollocks about equality from women. but ive personally seen alot of this ****e and its pure emotional manipulation. there also does tend to be a coralation between the crying type and the better looking girls. dont think ive ever seen a minger try this.

in my entire working life ive only seen one girl who had a genuine reason for breaking down on the job and she was a manager in a store who had a guy spit on her and threaten to slash her face up with a razor. word to the wise girls, thats an excuse, not "someone shouted at me!":rolleyes:

EOA_Mushy

OP this is a pritty stup!d question you have asked....

Its is an option to these people / to any one. I.E. It might work / get the person out of the situation.

Not the type of person, just a tactic.

If it happens to you, fire the person for emotional imbalance and this type of thing should stop.

ferdi

pure emotional blackmail. really pisses me off. have no time for girls like that.

_blank_

constitutionus wrote:

dont think ive ever seen a minger try this.

I have.

ferdi

seansouth wrote:

I have.

yeah me too. it didnt work out for her...cant think why

_blank_

It worked out for my particular minger - still is afaik.

I hate this trait in people, and yes, to a large extent it is females. I've never seen a bloke do it.

spurious

From the few times I've seen someone do it - the crying has never really been about the immediate issue, but about a perceived slight or a 'home' situation.

The being given out to is just the trigger.

DaBreno

Christiano Ronaldo bawls at the drop of a hat. I could forgive World Cup final penalty heart break, but every season? give it a rest child!

ferdi

he was probably bought by a club at the age of 6 and had no proper emotional up bringing

jellie

I can be really emotional, & things like "the embarrassment of being given out to by another adult" as LadyJ put it, would probably upset me (luckily ive never had a major incident involving this).

But at the same time there is no way in HELL I would cry in front of this person. That would be so much more mortifying. Do these girls not feel so pathetic & weak? Maybe the week off work is worth the humilation.

Cardinal

I think, in fairness, some people can't help but cry in situations where they're being given out to. This might be due to humiliation or whatever. The important thing, I think is not to treat them any differently because they're crying, if you are the other person involved. This type of woman will only try this if they think it'll get them somewhere.

DaBreno

Cardinal wrote:

I think, in fairness, some people can't help but cry in situations where they're being given out to. This might be due to humiliation or whatever.

Is not anger the response when given out to or is just me? Would you not feel compelled to respond to critisim rather than just take abuse?

Heyes

DaveMcG wrote:

Hey folks,

just wondering what your thoughts are on these people. I'll give you an example.

There's a girl in work, and she was away for 2 weeks, but rather than ask for the time off she gave away her shifts. Fair enough. But she couldn't get rid of one (the night before she came home anyway), so she tried to ring in sick, but they kinda guilted her out of it, and she ended up telling the truth about being away, etc...
Anyway, the job were telling her that she has to do the shift, they can't let her off it, and all that, and so she... started balling her eyes out while on the phone to them. Now that right there smacks of "fuckineejitry" to me, but then she called her mother, who then rang the job to moan at them. She ended up getting the night off I believe.

In the thread about Eastern Europeans, someone mentioned they know someone who had to pay a fine for the bus, but started crying, so ended up getting off it, and getting some free tickets.

Now, what do ye think of these people? Are they just chancers? Scumbags? Immature? Is it a normal reaction when you're getting "in trouble"? People used to do it often enough in school, but in "the real world", it's a bit much is it not?



normal reaction? immature?

Totally imature imo.. I dont understand and i get some what irratated by people who cry to get out of situations. Its silly, a person would never gain any respect for acting in this manner.

Pocari Sweat

I have made both women and men cry by shouting at them, but I was surprised recently, I was just arguing with one bloke about a job technicality and he flipped his lid and went mental, so I said nothing for five minutes and just nodded agreeing with his rants, and then he starts crying.

I don't get the crying thing, but why grown blokes start crying, its a bit strange.

idunno78

The story the OP told is way OTT, its one thing crying but getting your mother to call in is just plain stupid. LIke she is old enough to have the job so like get over it dont make your mum call in!!

I cried once at work, about two hours after gettin givin out to! I had ponemiona (didnt know at the time!) so could barely move as my back was sore! Ended up cryin as a was serving a customer!! Tat was the only time ever! I broke up wth a boyfriend, never cried over that. Sliced my Fingers open twice, never cried. Saw something on corination st/home and away, and shed a tear r two.

Some girls are just overly sensitive and cry at anything, others can take it. And then theres the inbetween ones. I like to think i can take it, except when something sad happens in the soaps... ha ha ha!! (yea i know itsnot real!)

Diogenes

Hmmm I was about 8 years ago just starting out in my profession and got due to company **** up with a 200 hr 2day week. With no overtime. Just awful, It was at the end of a summer of 3month of utter help just brutal 12 day standard regular fifteen hr days, just awful. Towards the end a mate I worked with collasped with exhaustion in a taxi on his way home from work and was hospitalised for three days, oh and the only management reaction was a MD to walk into our workplace and jeer that said employee "couldn't hack the pace." We were working for just about minimum wage, falling about on absurd hours, and my boss complained about a trivial mistake I'd made. And I lost it (same bloke who made the joke about our mate) had apparently just had a vasectumi, so I screamed "**** off you ****ing eunuch" and screamed,in tears to my actual boss I quit, and frankly sleep depravition kicked in, and tears rolling down my cheek I just screamed **** you all I quit.

Honestly though I had days were I'd work till 6am, get up at 12pm crawl into work till 3am,up at 9, and this went on for weeks By the end we (the staff) were not sleeping, period. Our sleep schedule was just ****ed and when we crawled into bed we just couldn't be in a mental state to sleep.

My only regret is not kicking that ****er in the nads. Just to watch him go down with one in the happy sacs with a bunch of burst stitches to content with. Maybe they'd get septic, and he'd need to lop the whole lot off.

With a rusty saw.

Not that I'm bitter.

InFront

<----Gets the hell out of this thread before diogenes starts to feel sleep deprived again

Mossy Monk

InFront wrote:

<----Gets the hell out of this thread before diogenes starts to feel sleep deprived again

say, that sounds like a swell plan. i'm following you