Cyber Bullying on Boards.ie

connundrum

"Cyberbullying involves the use of information and communication technologies such as e-mail, cell phone and pager text messages, instant messaging, defamatory personal Web sites, and defamatory online personal polling Web sites, to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behaviour by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others." -Bill Belsey


According to the following threads, most of us boardsie’s would like to consider ourselves ANTI-bullying!

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=51589740

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054917887

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=162614

We brand the bully’s cowards, amongst other things, we deem their behaviour despicable and totally unacceptable, and the general consensus would seem to be that bullying should not be tolerated, in any means, shape or form.

However… to use CSG as an example, whenever she posts on this site, regardless of the nature of her posts, some of the boards.ie users seem to think that it is acceptable to insult her opinion, her appearance, her morals, her upbringing and her intelligence.

No, I am not talking about one or two bullying boards members, I am talking about a great number of long term users, who I would consider, based upon their posts, to be intelligent, educated human beings.

So why do they think it is acceptable to insult someone in this way?

In my opinion, threads such as the following should not be allowed.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054857869

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054897925

These threads where started with the sole intention of creating a space in which hundreds of people can join together to insult and offend a single person.

Why is this ok?

Do you, as members of the Boards community, really think that this is appropriate behaviour?

Now, don’t get me wrong, you probably all think I am typing this out from my wireless laptop from the heights of my incredibly high horse….
I am not.

I know that a lot of you will think that I have been incredibly self righteous throughout this post, I don’t mean to be, but I have seen the effects of such bullying on someone I know, and all I can say is, it has not been pretty.

I am all in for a bit of slagging, and I can see the humour in some of the witty banter that fly’s back and forth across this site.

I just feel that when it appears to be the case that we have a group of people 'ganging up' on, insulting and offending just one person, that this is when we cross the line between harmless, humorous, slagging, to full on bullying.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyber_bullying

*The Thunderdrome - Two men enter, probably neither will leave.. it doesn't say anything about one girl being shoved in..

Yook

lol, n00b....am I right guys?

Binomate

Get with the program.

zuutroy

This has to be flame bait?

Terry

alright. if no-one else is willing, i'll do it.

be right back.

Rb

Binomate wrote:

Get with the program.

Agreed.

Oh and another thing you may have noticed is that the people who do get "bullied"(though I wouldn't call it actual bullying) or whatever generally have brought it on themselves.

Kimbot

Have to Agree with some of the OP comments there!!

Femelade

Yook wrote:

lol, n00b....am I right guys?

what?

you can see when he joined, a few months after you. not a n00b.

edit/ have to agree with OP on those threads he linked.

projectmayhem

Femmy wrote:

what?

you can see when he joined, a few months after you. not a n00b.

didn't quite get the joke there, did you?

anyway, if you don't like cyber bullying, stay well away from css. i just got off a server where 3 guys were calling some kid (you could tell he was a kid by the voice) "gh3y" and "n00bzilla" and so on.

frankly it was hilarious.

connundrum

rb_ie wrote:

Oh and another thing you may have noticed is that the people who do get "bullied"(though I wouldn't call it actual bullying) or whatever generally have brought it on themselves.

There was a guy in my class who was skinny and wore glasses, he got bullied. Did he bring it on himself?

Break it down, some people who 'bring it on themselves' may not know any different.. and therefore are seen to be easy targets. That's all that this 'I wouldn't call it actual bullying' is - its picking on easy targets.

Terry

connundrum wrote:

However… to use CSG as an example, whenever she posts on this site, regardless of the nature of her posts, some of the boards.ie users seem to think that it is acceptable to insult her opinion, her appearance, her morals, her upbringing and her intelligence.

No, I am not talking about one or two bullying boards members, I am talking about a great number of long term users, who I would consider, based upon their posts, to be intelligent, educated human beings.

click me

TheAlmightyArse

projectmayhem wrote:

i just got off a server where 3 guys were calling some kid (you could tell he was a kid by the voice) "gh3y" and "n00bzilla" and so on.

frankly it was hilarious.

So you see, sacrasm isn't the lowest form of humour. How is that any different to following some poor kid around town slagging him?

Black Swan

Yes, you have to have a tough skin on boards sometimes, just like on the playground of life. The best defense is humour, and not to take yourself or others so seriously.:D

Chinafoot

connundrum wrote:

There was a guy in my class who was skinny and wore glasses, he got bullied. Did he bring it on himself?

Difference here is that all people have to go on is what the poster themself puts forward.

ball ox

I agree with the OP to a certain extent but can't say I'm that bothered as I do think some people just set themselves up. What I do find interesting though is that alot of the time when someone posts something stupid alot of people, myself included, will just cringe and move on whereas certain people jump at the given oppeotunity to make themselves look witty. Why bother?

Yook

Femmy wrote:

what?

you can see when he joined, a few months after you. not a n00b.

edit/ have to agree with OP on those threads he linked.

And the OP wonders why people get a hard time around here.

connundrum

ball ox wrote:

What I do find interesting though is that alot of the time when someone posts something stupid alot of people, myself included, will just cringe and move on whereas certain people jump at the given oppeotunity to make themselves look witty. Why bother?

Yes, this self importance crap is consistant and annoying.. but I guess there's no stopping it..

Yook wrote:

And the OP wonders why people get a hard time around here.

Dancing to your own tune there ted

Chinafoot

You have an ignore function. I suggest you use it.

Also the two threads you linked to are in the Thunderdome. It's well known that it's more "relaxed" in terms of abuse. Also CSG and Kiera didn't seem to care very much about that thread or what was said about them. They seemed to quite enjoy it.

If you have a problem with the particular forum then perhaps you should take it to feedback. In fact there is already a thread regarding the thunderdome there.

connundrum wrote:

Yes, this self importance crap is consistant and annoying..

One could say the same for the continuous references by CSG to all her sexual conquests or her breats etc etc. Nobody cares and nobody wants to hear about it and all it does is paint her in a bad light. There is a fantastic post by MAJD in the "positive attitude" thread that pretty much sums her up.

I tend to mostly ignore her inane drivel as it's only the internet... You should do the same for those that you don't like.

Yook

connundrum wrote:

Dancing to your own tune there ted

Of course, I wanna see this thread actually go somewhere.

Kiera

Why not just leave boards. This is obviously getting to you, so just quit. Stop this crusade of trying to change people’s behaviour.

Ruu_Old

If you can't stand the heat then get out of the cistin, or don't go in at all.

RoundyMooney

Interesting...

Why are you flogging this particular dead nag, Connundrum?

projectmayhem

TheAlmightyArse wrote:

So you see, sacrasm isn't the lowest form of humour. How is that any different to following some poor kid around town slagging him?

to walk around town there isn't an 18+ age guide.

a lot of cyber bullying victims are of the age group where they send texts to newsround on CBBC... i.e. around 13, or under

you'll find most forums, IM clients etc. say you must be over 13, and if you're under 18 you should have parental guidance.

TheAlmightyArse

Ah. So it's the little boy's fault he was bullied by a group of grown men. You were right, that is pretty funny.

dar83

TheAlmightyArse wrote:

Ah. So it's the little boy's fault he was bullied by a group of grown geeks. You were right, that is pretty funny.

Might explain it a little better.

Fact of the matter is, they were probably there to escape their own bullying problems, he was like fresh meat they can use to make themselves feel somewhat empowered for once. Quite standard bullying deflection.

skywalker

Kiera wrote:

Stop this crusade of trying to change people’s behaviour.

Werent you accused of the exact same thing towards CSG?

projectmayhem

TheAlmightyArse wrote:

Ah. So it's the little boy's fault he was bullied by a group of grown men. You were right, that is pretty funny.

yes it was hilarious.

but seriously, if a kid is online chatting/gaming etc., a parent should be around because there will always be abuse.

i've received abuse in games a lot. it gets heated... that's part of what comes with games. it's also why they have little 18+ stickers on them.

dar83 wrote:

Fact of the matter is, they were probably there to escape their own bullying problems, he was like fresh meat they can use to make themselves feel somewhat empowered for once. Quite standard bullying deflection.

as a young kid i was bullied quite bad on different occasions. i know what bullying is. online taunting is not it. bullying in the playground is usually unprovoked attacks from idiots lining their ego with fat. online bullying is usually because someone said/did something stupid, after which is transpires there's a kid at the other end... usually a kid who shouldn't be there.

connundrum

Yook wrote:

Of course, I wanna see this thread actually go somewhere.

Its an open forum, if it plummets then so be it. Thanks for your opinion so far though

Kiera wrote:

Why not just leave boards. This is obviously getting to you, so just quit. Stop this crusade of trying to change people’s behaviour.

*Falls to knees

'Where has this ball of wisdom been all of my life, I really could have used that advice when I stubbed my toe whilst playing football.. I should have quit damn it! Why should I have bothered with anything, ever?!'

Kiera

skywalker wrote:

Werent you accused of the exact same thing towards CSG?

Yup, it didn’t work, so I am now passing on the lesson I learned from it

skywalker

Kiera wrote:

Yup, it didn’t work, so I am now passing on the lesson I learned from it

Ha. Good comeback

Kiera

connundrum wrote:

Its an open forum, if it plummets then so be it. Thanks for your opinion so far though



*Falls to knees

'Where has this ball of wisdom been all of my life, I really could have used that advice when I stubbed my toe whilst playing football.. I should have quit damn it! Why should I have bothered with anything, ever?!'

You're a funny guy! Kudos to you, Sir!

Should i re-word this. Dont want you to think i might be a bully for replying to you.

Terry

skywalker wrote:

Werent you accused of the exact same thing towards CSG?

a lot of people tried the same thing with keira.

listen, just come over to the dark side.
follow my sig for instructions.

connundrum

RoundyMooney wrote:

Interesting...

Why are you flogging this particular dead nag, Connundrum?

Meh

(thanks for finding that )

TheAlmightyArse

projectmayhem wrote:

yes it was hilarious.

but seriously, if a kid is online chatting/gaming etc., a parent should be around because there will always be abuse.

i've received abuse in games a lot. it gets heated... that's part of what comes with games. it's also why they have little 18+ stickers on them.

Say a kid is playing TimeSplitters with some adults sitting right there beside him, and the adults decide to gang up on him and rip him to pieces. That's just cruel, man. There's a distinction between smack talk and bullying. The age ratings thing is irrelevent, since everyone concerned obviously knew it was a child.

projectmayhem

TheAlmightyArse wrote:

Say a kid is playing TimeSplitters with some adults sitting right there beside him, and the adults decide to gang up on him and rip him to pieces. That's just cruel, man. There's a distinction between smack talk and bullying. The age ratings thing is irrelevent, since everyone concerned obviously knew it was a child.

that's not cyber bullying then, is it?

and the age thing is relevant. that's why it's there...

RoundyMooney

Okay then. Time for a little Flame Forum 101.

A post in a designated corner of this or any other site is not the same thing as bullying a prepubescent on the street. One is confrontational, demands a response, and can carry with it the threat of physical harm ( if you're 13 and your protagonist are adult). Also, the internet has a proud history of flaming, which is not the same thing as an intentional, premeditated case of bullying.

Any poster referred to in TTD can brush it off, in which case the "attack" such as it is, will die a death and veer off topic faster than a muppet querying a ban thread in feedback.

If these good people have a problem with being the subject of a thread, they have the option of bringing it to the attention of an admin. This has been done to death before, and the view was expressed by an admin that the forum concerned served a valid purpose and that he was unaware of any problem.

Some "contributions" to discussion boards demand a response. Some are flames, some are controversial, some are narrow minded, some are attention seeking, such as, I dunno, multiple IDs, for example...

Some also hint at the risk of (as the Feedback post quoted there by Connundrum and to a lesser degree, the OP itself), or actively threaten host sites with legal action, but, that's another story altogether.

Point is, you will do well to find any discussion site anywhere on the 3W where muppetry is actively condoned. Happily, boardsie is not one of these places, and long may it remain so. If the Thunderdome placed Boards in a perilous situation, legally speaking, you can be quite sure it would not remain part of the site for long.

Hobbes

<

---

See to the left. Report Post. Use that on the threads in question.

There should always be the rule of attack the post and not the poster. Most of the forums follow this rule.

RoundyMooney

connundrum wrote:

Meh

(thanks for finding that )

Querying TTD policy can be fraught with difficulties. Ask Kaiser2000. That poor sod is now tarred (through no fault of his own) with the stigma of being CSGs prospective bathroom buddy.

TheAlmightyArse

projectmayhem wrote:

that's not cyber bullying then, is it?

and the age thing is relevant. that's why it's there...

No, my example took the "cyber" element of the game out, giving you "bullying". Now, if we take another example that's essentially the same, but with the "cyber" element back in, we get "cyber bullying". Do you see?

The simple fact is a bunch of lads ganged up on a kid when they knew he was a kid. I don't see how an age rating gives them a "free pass" to do that. Would you condone buying drink for a child still in a pub after ten o'clock? After all, he's not supposed to be there, but clearly he is, so anything goes, eh?

projectmayhem

TheAlmightyArse wrote:

The simple fact is a bunch of lads ganged up on a kid when they knew he was a kid. I don't see how an age rating gives them a "free pass" to do that. Would you condone buying drink for a child still in a pub after ten o'clock? After all, he's not supposed to be there, but clearly he is, so anything goes, eh?

no, a bunch of lads ganged up on a kid who did something stupid in the game (killing team-mates thinking that was the point). the cyber element means, as i said already, he wasn't meant to be there in the first place, but secondly... he can, and did, turn it off. i don't equate cyber bullying with real life bullying at all.

as for serving drink, i wouldn't buy drink for a kid in a pub before or after 10.

TheAlmightyArse

projectmayhem wrote:

i don't equate cyber bullying with real life bullying at all.

Why not?

connundrum

projectmayhem wrote:

i don't equate cyber bullying with real life bullying at all.

Some people do

stovelid

I agree with some of the points that the OP made.

I found this one:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054860893

to be particularly tasteless and creepy. Some posters doubtless annoy me and I like an argument as much as anybody else but some people go much too far in my opinion.

RandomOne

RoundyMooney wrote:

Any poster referred to in TTD can brush it off, in which case the "attack" such as it is, will die a death and veer off topic faster than a muppet querying a ban thread in feedback.

True too.

RoundyMooney

stovelid wrote:

I found this one:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054860893

to be particularly tasteless and creepy.

Ho hum.

Connundrum, that link needs registration. While I do take your point that cyber-bullying is a real phenomenon, I don't think that the analogy, or degree of severity is a consideration in the case of boards, which is what we are discussing, no?

http://www.mindspring.com/~mfpatton/sketch.htm

projectmayhem

TheAlmightyArse wrote:

Why not?

because for the most part, cyber bullying is done by faceless people, who unlike in real life, you can avoid by banning, blocking or simply turning off the PC.

real life bullying hasn't got an "off" button or a /ignore command

Black Swan

What does it mean when a Englishman says to an Irishman, "That's Bully?"*:p







*Would it make any difference if he said it before or after 1922?

rb_ie

rb_ie wrote:

Oh and another thing you may have noticed is that the people who do get "bullied"(though I wouldn't call it actual bullying) or whatever generally have brought it on themselves.

That's what my parents started saying to me when they ran out of options to stop me being bullied. Although now that I've had some tests and research done its looking like autism. Did I bring that on myself?

I totally agree with projectmayhem. I had no way out.

connundrum

RoundyMooney wrote:

Connundrum, that link needs registration.

My apologies, my work pc automatically has access to the indo.

Cyber-bullying . . . how cruel words can break hearts

Wednesday January 11th 2006


CYBER-BULLYING may be more devastating for the victim than other more usual forms of bullying, according to an expert writes Kathy Donaghy. Professor Mona O'Moore, who heads up the Anti-Bullying Centre in Trinity College Dublin, warned that this form of online bullying was a very insidious and sneaky form of psychological bullying which could be very damaging to the victim. Prof O'Moore said cyber-bullying fitted in with the overall pattern of psychological bullying and could often be more devastating for the victim because they often did not know who the perpetrator was.

And she said even though the perpetrator was cowardly and sneaky, their words had the power to break the heart of the victim.

"The myth is that sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

"But it is words that break hearts and this is a big problem.

"It is one of the most damaging forms of bullying," Prof O'Moore said.

She pointed out that more traditional forms of bullying such as taunting someone may be less damaging than targeting someone online because the cyber-bullying attack could "eat away at someone".

Hateboard.com states it is about allowing users to confess what they really hate.

However, the UK-based charity Bullying Online has also posted a message to the website warning that it had had complaints about abuse being posted about young people on the site. A spokeswoman for the organisation said unfortunately this wasn't just a bit of fun and it did have consequences.

The organisation also warned that people did not realise the effect this "public humiliation" had on people on the receiving end.

"In the past, young people have told us they have wanted to kill themselves after receiving threats and abuse. "Others have told us they have lost all their friends after bogus messages were posted in their name," the organisation warned.

According to Prof O'Moore, there was no way of knowing how big a phenomenon cyber bulling was in this country.

However, she said that the results of a major nationwide bullying survey published in 1996 showed that 26pc of post primary school children were involved in bullying.

"With a website how do we check them out?" she asked.

The best way to deal with these type of websites according to Prof O'Moore is to mentally press the delete button.

However, she said it was very hard to tell children not to dwell on the remarks because they would keep telling themselves 'there are people out there who think this way about me'.

"It's the unknown factor and there's more insecurity about it all.

"There has to be so much more awareness around this.

"Children should be taught not to take this to heart, that the problem lies with the perpetrator," Prof O'Moore said.

© Irish Independent
http://www.unison.ie/irish_independent/ & http://www.unison.ie/

L31mr0d

Some people are just a Bliss Ninny or a Target tbh. Nobody is forcing them to make stupid remarks and the fact that the majority thinks so should be a sign to the poster. If I went up to a load of Rockers and started talking about Huey Lewis and Cat Stevens i'm sure i'd get the ear eaten off me. I wouldn't consider that bullying though as I brought it upon myself.

Chinafoot

Post crap and you'll get slated for it. It's the nature of the boards

What most normal people would do is realise "hmmm everytime I post on <topic x> on <forum y> I get abuse. Maybe I shouldn't discuss that topic on that forum anymore..."

Simple.