Whats a guy to do......?

ron.dolan

Howdy people! Have a bit of question to put out there to see if I am completely stupid or an over optimistic fool!

OK, heres how it goes. Me (boy) knows girl long time. Possibly something to do with the fact that I used to go out with her sister (eek I hear you cry.....but wait!). Always got on great with this girl but never really thought of her as anything other than good friend. Anyway, she called me out of the blue the other day and called over to my place to say hi! Which was cool as I really like her company anyway. So we were sitting chatting and she remarked that her sister was gone away for a few months and so like she was wondering about the two of us going out to get mashed together and I said 'cool', why not? So, went out had a ball no probs there and no strings/kissin' or nothin', kay?

Anyway, long and short, she has been around with me (live in apt on own) every night the last two weeks, til at least midnight and I have started to change how I view her. I am 32 and she is 21 and one problem is that I know her since she's like 12 so I do feel a bit strange in that respect. However, 3 years of college and a bit of maturity has made her quite a smart, funny attractive woman that I have a lot of respect for (maybe too much, but wait for it....) aaaaaannnnnd she is hot.hot.hot. too boot!

So anyway, we went out again on saturday night and it was simply one of the best nights ever. She remarked during the night that she really missed regular sex (dont we all) and hated one night stands, had to really know someone well etc. etc. Said her sister was a dick for letting me go etc. etc. She can be quite touchy feely with me whereas I am overly cautious in being physical with her as I am not sure whats going on with her at all? To be honest, it has been like we are a couple the last 2 weeks and I love her company at this stage. She has started to make we/us references about things and all we need is a good kiss to seal the deal I reckon.....and that is were my cry for sensible, honest and dispassionate (or passionate) advice comes in.

Basically, we love each others company, she admits to being an 'old fashioned girl' in that she believes men should take the lead when it comes to 'getting it on' etc. We have even started to go out on day trips and stuff. However, she was telling me that she told her mother she was going out with friends the other night, told her friends she was going out with family as she is terrified her sister will find out as even though we have done nowt, it does look bad.

I do think I am falling in love with her as we love all the same things, have started to finish each others sentences and there have been a couple of moments where we were staring into each others eyes a little too intently before one or the other broke off with an uncomfortable start.

I wondered if she finds me physically attractive as I am a bit of an ape in that I am big and burly (muscles not fat before you ask) whereas she is small and petite. I am told I look aggressive and confrontational even though I am a total pacifist and hate violence etc. We are doing everything that a couple would do, but I am starting to wonder whether my b***s have shrivelled as I would have kissed her by now if she was anyone else so her sister is big in the equation and there would be hell to pay (for her, not me) if this came out now.

In a nutshell, heres a summary:

Girl calls out of the blue to go out on mad night.

Girl hangs out with me from like 7-12 EVERY night last 12 days or so except two Saturdays when we went out on da p**s.

Girl keeps referring to sex and need to be with someone she likes/knows/respects as opposed to ‘johnny niteclub’.

Girl keeps touching me when there is no reason.

Girl displayed jealousy whilst out when I remarked how attractive other girl was (OK did this a test to see what reaction would be, low but I needs ta know...)

Girl keeps banging on soppy songs and talking about how most men are morons.

NEVER mentions her sister (except drunkenly putting her down once) even though they do get on really well?

Does all that 'body language' stuff around me such as fiddling with hair, rubbing lips etc (checked out a couple of websites which apparently tell you what body language means green light with women - dont normally put much store in this stuff but she seems to be doing all the things that indicate that 'thunderbirds are go'......)

And finally - sunbathed topless on my balcony without batting an eyelid when I came out with her drink, nearly dropped the f*****g drink, such an amazing body.......

So basically, I am, for the first time in my life when it comes to women, completely confused. I know how different men and women are (d'uh) and how they see things, but for the love of God, someone tell me straight here, do I make the move? Half the reason I havent is a mixture of age (not great but still significant) and the fact I was shacked up with her sister for almost a decade.....very soap opera you'll agree......So does she think of me as that most dreaded of males bequethments THE FRIEND.......da da da…..

Its a strange one and no doubts, but she is worth a lot of hassle as I havent felt this way about a woman since.......and I hate to say it.....her sister.....must be something in the DNA or summit...I am doing my nut here as I have all the classic signs around her, butterflys in the stomach, heart racing, when I hear her voice I get all giddy etc. I am 32 yet she makes me feel like a sixteen yo again.

DO I KISS HER………?

cance

"I havent felt this way about a woman since.......and I hate to say it.....her sister....."

well....

that sir, should really answer your question.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Jesus christ man, yes!

layke

Go for it.

It's clear to me (and you) what's going on.

Da Bounca

Go For It

Ph3n0m

Ok ask yourself - whats the worse thing that could happen?

If its no worse then her sister could find out or it might not work out....

Then I say go for it - a missed opportunity, is just that

cance

hmmm

having mulled it over a nice glass of water.

if A you think you can get away with it, and B its worth messing with your ex girlfriends sister then go for it chap.

the heart wants what the heart wants and if shes keen too, why not?

plus its your chance to grab a 21 yo again

just expect the customary "working your way through the family" jokes.

ron.dolan

Ph3n0m wrote:

Ok ask yourself - whats the worse thing that could happen?

If its no worse then her sister could find out or it might not work out....

Then I say go for it - a missed opportunity, is just that

Probably afraid that I will fall for her and it would never work out?

Really like her and she is so cool and funny and smart and gorgeous and sexy......

cance wrote:

"I havent felt this way about a woman since.......and I hate to say it.....her sister....."

well....

that sir, should really answer your question.

I know what it sounds like, but she and her sister are about as opposite as sisters get, she is bubbly and her sister is serious, she adventurous and her sister is conservative, she is short and dark and her sister is tall and red haired (she takes after mother, her sister after after father), she is very energetic and her sister is quite relaxed. I have puzzled this over in my mind several times and I think half the reason I split up with her sister is the things that differentiate the two of them, I like someone who is buzzing with life, can laugh at themselves etc. Maybe I am a complete asshole, but this seems real to me and I dont want to make a fool of myself and I definitely dont want to get her into any hassles with her family and I like her that much I would try to shield her from harm.....Jesus she really brings out my chivalrous side cos I can be a real asshole at times with women.

My heart keeps saying 'FFS what are you waiting for.......? Idiot' but my head keeps saying:

cant work.
too young.
exes sister.
cant work.
etc.

Have barely seens the lads the last fortnight as its all a bit cloak and dagger so far but would love to go for it and as the saying goes 'ce sera sera.....'

Going out on friday night and I reckon this will be it, either make a move or give it up as a bad job. I hate falling in love.....not, but it does make it very hard to have rational thoughts?

Beetlebum

It's obvious she has feelings for you and sees you as more than just a friend. My best friend is a bloke and I'd never sunbathe topless in front of him. I wouldn't spend every night with him either or be jealous if he pointed out a hot chick, in fact I point out women to him all the time. She clearly sees you in a sexual way. How did things end with her sister? Are you still friendly with her? How much trouble would it cause between them if you guys got it on?
If my sister got with my ex I wouldn't like it at all even though I no longer have any feelings for him. It'd make me feel really uncomfortable especially if it was my younger sister. This is a tricky situation but if you think she's worth the potential hassle than go ahead. She definetly won't reject you but her siter may kill you...tread carefully.....blood is thicker than water an all of that.....

Kimbot

GO for it dude, she is sunbathing topless around you so if she didn't want you to see it she wouldn't do it!!!

Remember... You only live once!!

blorg

Erm, yes, I think she likes you.

How 'peculiar' it is going to get might depend somewhat on how long / how long ago you went out with the sister, and how serious that was.

Ph3n0m

ron.dolan wrote:

Probably afraid that I will fall for her and it would never work out?

Oh come on now - you cant keep second guessing what may or may not happen

This girl likes you, you like her - give it a goddamn go and take it a day at a time.

Stop thinking about the "if" "what ifs" "maybes", etc - maybe it works out, maybe it doesnt.

You keep thinking like that you are only going to end up spinning in circles

cornbb

Go for it and let us know how you get on

Fanny Cradock

contrary to all other advice, i think you shouldn't do anything about it and, instead, regret your lack of action for the rest of your life.

stevie33

I have to agree with everyone else, GO FOR IT!!!

You can't help who you fall in love with. The past is the past, you can't let it hold you back with what you do in the future.

If the older sister broke it off with you then you have no moral obligation to her. And I wouldnt worry about the age thing either, at the end of the day its just a date written on her birth certificate. If you can talk with her and you feel she is as mature as you then there is no reason why that should affect you.

Just one more tip, I think you should kiss her defintely but when your SOBER or she may doubt whether or not its what you want and could make things even more awkward. The next time shes round just close your eyes and go for it! It will be weird the first time you kiss but don't let that put you off. Just get the first kiss over and done with so you can move on and perhaps have a long happy relationship with her. Good Luck!

Please pm me and let me know how it goes.

ron.dolan

Beetlebum wrote:

It's obvious she has feelings for you and sees you as more than just a friend. My best friend is a bloke and I'd never sunbathe topless in front of him. I wouldn't spend every night with him either or be jealous if he pointed out a hot chick, in fact I point out women to him all the time. She clearly sees you in a sexual way. How did things end with her sister? Are you still friendly with her? How much trouble would it cause between them if you guys got it on?
If my sister got with my ex I wouldn't like it at all even though I no longer have any feelings for him. It'd make me feel really uncomfortable especially if it was my younger sister. This is a tricky situation but if you think she's worth the potential hassle than go ahead. She definetly won't reject you but her siter may kill you...tread carefully.....blood is thicker than water an all of that.....

It ended OK with her sister in that it was all very cordial and nice.....well it seemed that way but I was the one who ended it so I am not sure how she took it? We just drifted apart, had too many differences creeping into our lives and as we got older we just came to the conclusion that it had died on its feet. Seen her a few times since and had a good laugh but thats well gone now?

This was like a bolt from the blue and talk about a wake up call? The biggest problem I suppose is that I am afraid to get with someone who seems to be made for me and vice versa when there is no future - its like a really bad chick flick without the happy ending and I would drop it right now if I knew she was going to get hassled as she has 2 sisters (including my ex) and 2 brothers and is the youngest and I believe they will blame me for the whole thing which I would accept. I am not worried about what happens to me, because besides some dirty looks/smart comment etc. What can they do? I doubt her brothers would get violent or anything like that (hopefully anyway) but my ex, whilst slow to anger can go a little OTT when pushed. It all depends on what is on offer to the two of us as I can see this going the distance? She does value her family highly and getting it in the ear would probably greatly upset her so is it worth hurting her for nothing?

So everyone is agreed that she likes me 'that way' which I admit that I was pretty sure she did? Now its more to do with finding out what is going on as if its just a casual fling I can do that I suppose but I find myself smiling when I see her name flash up on the mobile and every text that refers to us as 'us' or 'we' makes the knees go a little funny. I think I am falling in love and I never expected it!

Wing Walker

Well now...



For the love of Allah, God, Buddah, YES!!!

Do it and enjoy.

Let us know how you get on.

Kimbot

ron.dolan wrote:

I think I am falling in love and I never expected it!

Noone ever does

mepink

It seems obvious from what you write that she is extremely immature and that you (inspite of your elder years) are likewise.

You need to find someone your own age and grow up.

Joeyjoejoe43

Pros: She's hot. Ye both fancy each other. You'll regret it if you dont at least kiss her.

Cons: You could cause a rift in someone's family, just to satisfy you and your lady friend. Personally, I think family rifts are awful and can last years, so id have a good hard think before you do anything.

Would just staying friends be that bad? Plus at 21 I dont know if she is where she will be in say 5 years time..

MojoMaker

Sad to say it, but that's about the long & short of it. This is a classic case of infatuation.

By all means enjoy the titillation a budding affair with a relative child brings to the table and perhaps even dip your pen in the offered ink but bear in mind the well is unlikely to last the novel.

Static M.e.

First off that was the most well written post Ive ever read here! Made for nice easy reading Good work!

I think you should go for it. All the signs point towards her liking you.

Sure you have the whole sister thing.. but so what, you can deal with that if does work out between you. Thats more of an issue for down the road.

The age factor. its not so bad she is 21 so I would consider her a young adult and more than capable of making up her own mind as to whats right and wrong. Isn't the rule half your age plus seven!? Your in the clear.

Go for it and enjoy!

Post back and let us know what happens GL

Tar.Aldarion

How close are you with her sister now?
If you are good friends with her I would do nothing about it without at least talking to her first.
Don't want to lose a friend now...

JayRoc

It's the near future...
You're lying under a double-decker bus on the Stillorgan Dual Carriageway, breathing your dying breaths...

Your final utterance : "I wish I hadn't gone for it with that girl who I could've had a future with....at least I can look her sister in the eye...."

Ever hear that for last words?

Black Swan

There will be probs when sis returns, but it might be worth weathering the storm given what you have said?

ron.dolan

mepink wrote:

It seems obvious from what you write that she is extremely immature and that you (inspite of your elder years) are likewise.

You need to find someone your own age and grow up.

How do you figure that one? How does one measure maturity? Is it biding ones time and trying to be sure of a course of action or is it just acting without thinking? Is it looking for anonymous impartial advice or is it acting on a whim without any thought to the consequences of your actions? I have been around long enough to know every actions has its repercussions that exist long after the original event, I know there is no pain like emotional pain, that a broken heart is a terrible thing and that to be happy you have to consider everyones feeling instead of just your own. She has a better insight of life, love and society and her own mind (from what I can make out anyway) than people I know twice her age, she is definitely wiser than her years without being dry and stuffy. She is kind and caring and proactive and pragmatic and.....oh I'll shut up now before I get all soppy!

Unless of course you are confusing the fugue that goes hand in hand with that thumping of the heart with immaturity and that my friend is actually quite sad, because if you cant tell the difference, have you ever had the former? If not, I pity you so?

Joeyjoejoe43 wrote:

Pros: She's hot. Ye both fancy each other. You'll regret it if you dont at least kiss her.

Cons: You could cause a rift in someone's family, just to satisfy you and your lady friend. Personally, I think family rifts are awful and can last years, so id have a good hard think before you do anything.

Would just staying friends be that bad? Plus at 21 I dont know if she is where she will be in say 5 years time..

This is the crux of it? Am I being selfish here? The last thing I want is to cause trouble before I make a leap of faith into the dark here? Funnily enough, if you were to rate her and her sister physically (which is probably a very shallow thing to do, but you do bring up the point I made about her being 'hot' - my bad.....) her sister is more 'model' material than she is, quite tall, great figure, long flowing red hair. I got more than a few 'are ye f*****g mad or what?' when we split, but anyone with an ounce of cop on knows that looks aint the whole hockey team. I as in me the person who exists alone behind my eyes, finds her overwhelmingly attractive on every level.

unnameduser

Is it worth the trouble that it will cause with her sis?

if yes = go for it
if no = dont

Fergob

yeah, you have to go for it...particularly as the longer you leave it, the more chance there is that it evolves into a legitimate friendship in her mind ( because you don't seem interested ) and that'll leave you kickin' yourself even more...

ron.dolan

Fergob wrote:

yeah, you have to go for it...particularly as the longer you leave it, the more chance there is that it evolves into a legitimate friendship in her mind ( because you don't seem interested ) and that'll leave you kickin' yourself even more...

Eh, she just called to see if I was home and my stomach felt like I was on a waltzer, when I seen her name flash up on the phone my heart skipped more than one beat and I have an aching jaw in anticipation of her arrival because I cant stop grinning.

Oh right, I get your point now! Think I might have to step things up a bit as I am usually fairly proactive myself, but I keep seeing a big glowing sign saying 'repercussions' floating at an apparent height of 8 ft up and out from my field of vision.

Its a real leap of faith to be taking but the man who never made a mistake and all that jiggery pokery comes to mind?

Shes gonna be here in a while so watch this space, I am really thinking of having 'the chat' with her.......oooooh stomach is flipping back and forth here.....still, lets you know you are alive, init, bruv?

ron.dolan

JayRoc wrote:

It's the near future...
You're lying under a double-decker bus on the Stillorgan Dual Carriageway, breathing your dying breaths...

Your final utterance : "I wish I hadn't gone for it with that girl who I could've had a future with....at least I can look her sister in the eye...."

Ever hear that for last words?

I likes the leftfield position your playing there Mr Roc, examine all the angles.....however, technically I havent nor shall be doing anything 'wrong' per se, will I? I didnt light this fuse but I sure as hell intend to smoke the stick o' dynamite and if I look like Wile E in the after glow, so be it. What do you call caring for someones feeling above and beyong your own? Answers on the back of 20 silk cut blue box please!

Anyhoo, have to go, got stuff to do, cos if I keep on typing I'll be stuck wiv you.....

King of Kings

ron.dolan wrote:

I am 32

DO I KISS HER………?

oh my god ron dolan...

you are 32!!!


seriously do the deed and either you regret it or not.
better regret it than live with the regret.

BTW - if she has being hanging about your apartment for 2 weeks.every night...it begs the question...do you (2 of you) have no lives??? really

cance

go for it Ron!

moral dilema my ass, a kiss is a kiss. its clear she wants ya, and you're quite the smitten kitten so i say take that jump.

worst comes to worst you will regret the kiss and you will at least know how to deal with it, but atm you are trying to plan for all eventualities.

family smamily, if the relationship blossoms cross that bridge when you come to it!

let us know

Draupnir

You need to go for it before she changes her mind, imagine the regret!

Whats the harm in it, everyone has a sister or a brother or some complicated issue, its the way of it.

ron.dolan

So like we're sitting there on the balcony last night listening to some seriously cheesy 80's rock music, 'avin a laugh and the illsutrious mr. dolan takes the metaphorical bull firmly (yet gently) by the horns and in one smooth (to his biased take on things you understand) movement does that which has scared him more than a pack of rabid crusaders in a mosque in 12th century Canaan did the Hashamites of old......Yep people, I kissed her.....and she kissed right back and we had one of those moments that you know will feature highly in a 'life flashed before my eyes' presentation many years later!

We did that for a while and one thing led to an.....oh you know where we went and it wasnt tramore beach, thats for sure.....Anyway, talked and talked and talked afterwards and came to a big decision that this was right and real and worth going for.

Her sister isnt due back until the end of november so we are going to play it cool esá. One thing is for sure and that is that we are going to stop doing the whole hideaway thing as we are getting a bit stir crazy up there in my lofty tower. Talked about all the complicating factors such as age, my previous familial connection et al. and we'll sort something out. We wont do anything yet as far as her family are concerned, no sense in raisin' cain until we are sure our mortar is dry and the joists have settled? So anyway, she stayed the night and we had one of those 'hollywood' mornings reminiscent of Steve McQueen & Ali McGraw. The road ahead is unclear but one thing is for sure and that life is a whole lot more 'real' to me now than it was a couple of weeks ago;a life of exisiting has been supplanted with something so much more. I told one of my best friends on the way in this morning and I am sure he nearly crashed in shock (well he should keep up to date with new driving legislation, shouldnt he?). 'WTF are you doing you nut' was the sage (without onion) reply I got, although it was more incredulous than castigating....

I am happier than a barrel of monkeys in a ffyfes warehouse, but like the matryoshka doll, we still have problems within problems with her sister and family? I think by november we will know how serious things are with us and if we dont know in 3 months well, look out for a 'I hate the world and want to die thread' by yours truly!

Anyone any suggestions as to how to go proceed with that toluene laced beverage that will be us telling her family if we get all serious?

Kimbot

Well congrats on things working out they way you wanted.

Telling her family shouldn't be that hard, if you want to tell them just come out and tell them, be sure that you tell them both you guys have discussed things and you both believe its the right thing to do!!

stevie33

ron.dolan wrote:

Anyone any suggestions as to how to go proceed with that toluene laced beverage that will be us telling her family if we get all serious?

You just have to come right out and say it. You need to make sure that they understand that this isn't just some fling your having but a relationship in which you hope will lead on to bigger and better things.

It will be awkward telling her sister I admit, especially after having felt the feelings you did for each other but if enough time has passed and she knows what a great guy you are she will be happy for you and your *new* girlfriend (does that have a nice ring to it for you?)

If your really serious about this relationship then there should be no worrys about telling her family because at the end of the day its the two of you that need to live with the decision and experience the consequences being good or bad!

Its fine telling people that you's are together now (confirm with her first) but leave it a while so you know your not mixing love with infatuation and it dies off, just spend time together..enjoy each others company...and let me be the first to say...CONGRATULATIONS!!

conor-mr2

ron.dolan wrote:

I am happier than a barrel of monkeys in a ffyfes warehouse

Quote of the day man!

Ive read this post with interest. Id have to say fair play to you. Dont you feel much better now. Sure theres things to overcome going forward regarding family etc, but isnt that what lifes about.

If it doesnt work out, well, at least you will have given it a go!

Beetlebum

Fair play to ya OP, hope it all works out. Cross the family bridge when you come to it and enjoy yourself in the meantime. It's not as if you jumped into this without any thought or consideration for anyone else. Sure, you even saw her sunbathing topless and managed to behave yourself!! Isn't it nice knowing your allowed to touch those boobies now...tee hee ...

dr.bollocko

I dont want to be cruel but no. Dont go for it.
Its the age thing again. (You arent the age thing by the way, 31 is far from old).
First, you slept with her (considerably older) sister.
Ok there, reason one not to go for it. Its not like you are in a ridiculous whirlwind movie love story, you arent, you are a horny 31 year old hoping for a great lay for a while from a 21 year old girl. 31 year old guys and 21 year old girls dont tend to have the healthiest of relationships, being that most relationships involving 21 year old girls and 31 year old guys are based on drug dealing, rock music, step - fathers or arranged marriages. U know I have seen episodes of Jeremy Kyle similar to this. That is the universal yardstick for dont go there. So take that yardstick and keep it near. Every time u think about banging your ex's too young sister, hit yourself with it. Doctor bollocko's therapy should see results in less than two hospital visits.


(however, please remember if its not cheap, and it is a true, real love, u will have already ignored this and decided what you want to do) so good luck to you!!!

LegacyUser

I think you should stop seeing each other so much...before lust completely ruins ur sense of reality and sends you into la la land.

Nevyn

It is not that unsual for someone to first date one sibling and then end up with a different one, there are several cases of that in both sides of my family.

cance

f*cking delighted for you Ron, delighted.

Ref telling her family, as you said dont raise the demons unless its neccessary wait and see how things progress and judge from there.

if you decide that this is going somewhere, then sit the family down and explain how you feel about each other, if they can see that you are both genuinely happy then i think they will be happy for you.

Gwan ya good thing, thats made my day

#Smokey#

go for it man. nothing risked nothing gained.

ron.dolan

dr.bollocko wrote:

I dont want to be cruel but no. Dont go for it.
Its the age thing again. (You arent the age thing by the way, 31 is far from old).
First, you slept with her (considerably older) sister.
Ok there, reason one not to go for it. Its not like you are in a ridiculous whirlwind movie love story, you arent, you are a horny 31 year old hoping for a great lay for a while from a 21 year old girl. 31 year old guys and 21 year old girls dont tend to have the healthiest of relationships, being that most relationships involving 21 year old girls and 31 year old guys are based on drug dealing, rock music, step - fathers or arranged marriages. U know I have seen episodes of Jeremy Kyle similar to this. That is the universal yardstick for dont go there. So take that yardstick and keep it near. Every time u think about banging your ex's too young sister, hit yourself with it. Doctor bollocko's therapy should see results in less than two hospital visits.


(however, please remember if its not cheap, and it is a true, real love, u will have already ignored this and decided what you want to do) so good luck to you!!!

Thanks Doc, but it feels real and reminds of that film (cant remember which one but I am sure the IMDB.COM regulars will know) where the guy says ''its like being in love, nobody can tell you, you just know......'' Well, if it looks like a horse, walks like a horse and so on?

As to the age thing, we certainly hit it off on all levels, both of us are very current affairs savvy (she professes herself to be a libertarian, whereas I am more of a anarcho-liberal) and we have some great discussions on such stimulating topics as the fourth international, new-liberalism, geo-politics, anthropology and sociology so its not like we sit around watching corrie and vegetating. We have some pretty indepth discussions about how we see the world and its great to be able to talk with someone who I consider to be at the least my equal in many areas and definitely my superior in others. Most people get a blank look when I start on about the pros and cons of techno-panarchism or the coming singularity, she know exactly what I mean and has strong opinions as well.

Is it just lust? Definitely not, wont go into mucky details but trust me, its way deeper than that. It isnt some overdrawn youthful crush on her part, she didnt think a whole lot of me one way or the other when me and her sis were together (just didnt really think of me as anything other than a guy who visited the house now and again). Saw me out with friends a few weeks ago and was going to come over to say hi but I had already left so she waited a while and gave me a call instead. She cant really say what it was that got her thinking when she saw me but she remembers me being a nice guy who was good to her sister and being decent and honest with her when it ended and going out of my way to not hurt her where possible. She also finds me physically attracitive (I wasnt aware people could have ape fetishes but there you go......;) ), I also find her highly attractive too.

Personally I dont think I was that great myself, but she seems to think so?
Take your compliments where you can you never know where the next one is coming from?

So what is love? Most definitions can be picked apart by the cynical, but what do they know beyond cynicism (surprisingly enough)? Who really knows, but if I walk away from someone who I believe I do to avoid causing hurt to them, even if that walking away is on par with sticking vinegar coated rusty pins under ones fingernails, surely thats a score for the forces of cupidity?

But one thing I am not is a 'horny 31 year old'. Well, OK, I am 31 and horny, but thats just a facet of my multi faceted personality. I am also an irritating p***k, a charcoal artist, a rock climber (seriously, do it up the local sports hall, excellent!) and so on.

cheesedude wrote:

I think you should stop seeing each other so much...before lust completely ruins ur sense of reality and sends you into la la land.

I agree cheesedude, living in each others pockets cant be healthy, but it was more that she was coming up night after night waiting for 'chez muppet' AKA me to cop what her intentions were! She was very impressed though with my aplomb throughout the whole build up (she actually thought I had switched teams when I didnt dive on her whilst she was sunbathing.......I think I had a minor aneurysm with the amount of self control that I had to effect on myself).

ron.dolan

cance wrote:

f*cking delighted for you Ron, delighted.

Ref telling her family, as you said dont raise the demons unless its neccessary wait and see how things progress and judge from there.

if you decide that this is going somewhere, then sit the family down and explain how you feel about each other, if they can see that you are both genuinely happy then i think they will be happy for you.

Gwan ya good thing, thats made my day

And the level of decent, honest and uplifting replies this thread has brought has made one of the best days I have had in, ooh at least donkeys years , that much better! Little did I know when I asked one of the guys I work with where would one go for anonymous, impartial advice, I would get such a good reaction. I definitely credit the advice I got yesterday with helping to do what I intended to sooner (and she said that making a move with a few drinks on me would have been so much less than what happened last night).

Throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may!

(I really should explain things to the guy who recommended this site, I think he thinks I have a veneral disease!)

BoozyBabe

ron.dolan wrote:

she actually thought I had switched teams when I didnt dive on her whilst she was sunbathing

She doesn't have a high opinion of herself at all, does she!!!:rolleyes:

Nah, seriously. Best of Luck, only one life & all that....

Gordon

Good news

Beruthiel

ron.dolan wrote:

I am happier than a barrel of monkeys in a ffyfes warehouse

That's fantastic

Anyone any suggestions as to how to go proceed with that toluene laced beverage that will be us telling her family if we get all serious?

Wait a few months, see how it goes, then come back here and we'll discuss the next step

mepink

ron.dolan wrote:

How do you figure that one? How does one measure maturity? Is it biding ones time and trying to be sure of a course of action or is it just acting without thinking? Is it looking for anonymous impartial advice or is it acting on a whim without any thought to the consequences of your actions? I have been around long enough to know every actions has its repercussions that exist long after the original event, I know there is no pain like emotional pain, that a broken heart is a terrible thing and that to be happy you have to consider everyones feeling instead of just your own. She has a better insight of life, love and society and her own mind (from what I can make out anyway) than people I know twice her age, she is definitely wiser than her years without being dry and stuffy. She is kind and caring and proactive and pragmatic and.....oh I'll shut up now before I get all soppy!

Unless of course you are confusing the fugue that goes hand in hand with that thumping of the heart with immaturity and that my friend is actually quite sad, because if you cant tell the difference, have you ever had the former? If not, I pity you so?


Ehh.. you wrote that she was sunbading topless while you stumbled in.. sounds very mature.. and a normal way to behave. Are you sure you are not caught in a Will and Grace episode you are mistaking for real life?

ron.dolan

Beruthiel wrote:

That's fantastic

Anyone any suggestions as to how to go proceed with that toluene laced beverage that will be us telling her family if we get all serious?

Wait a few months, see how it goes, then come back here and we'll discuss the next step

Appreciate that! I think the route forward involves taking things as they come, getting to know each other in a new way and making sure that if we are going to shock or upset anyone then it will be for the right reasons and will be real.

I am sure me and her will discuss this over a nice cabernet savignon one day. I will argue that this is the essence of chaoticism, whereby she will no doubt hark to her beliefs in a loose form of predestination.

Miss Fluff

ron.dolan wrote:

and the illsutrious mr. dolan takes the metaphorical bull firmly (yet gently) by the horns and in one smooth (to his biased take on things you understand) movement does that which has scared him more than a pack of rabid crusaders in a mosque in 12th century Canaan did the Hashamites of old......Yep people, I kissed her.....

ROFL
That's brilliant news Ronnie, glad you took the bull by the horns, or should that be horn by the..........;)