Girls / Guys, would you still be with your other half if there was no sex involved?

Zascar

I had an interesting conversation with some friends the other day. Everyone know that guys and girls have a very different attitude to sex and relationships. Women are in it for the security, companionship, closeness and also intimacy, but really guys are in it above all else, for the sex. I asked a load of the lads that are in serious relationships, if for some crazy reason there was going to be no sex or physical intimacy in it for you at all, would you still maintain the relationship and still do all the things that guys so for their girlfriends. The unanimous decision was No.

The one obvious thing that separates friends from partners is sex. Personally I have a lot of very close female friends who I love dearly and I am very good to them, but really there is a cut off point of the amount of sh1t I will put up with, or things I will do, because I am their friend and not their boyfriend. If they were my girlfriend and I was getting sex it would be different. Most guys have to put a lot of effort in, put up with a lot of sh1t, spend a LOT of money and do things they do not want to do, to keep their relationship going. How to girls do this? Well they also have to do some things they don’t want to, but they can use sex to control men. Men cannot do this in the same way.

The way I look at it is: Men want sex, but they cannot have sex without women. Women have the sex – they ultimately decide when men have sex, and so they use it to manipulate men. So to get the sex men have to play by the women’s rules, make changes to their life, do all the coupley things and most of the time spend a lot of money, to keep their girlfriend happy so that they get all the sex they want. There are very few guys who can get all the sex they want when not in a relationship. So if guys do all this to maintain the relationship which really the main thing he wants to get out of it is sex, its brings us to the question: Are all women, in essence, prostitutes?

Ok this is a very bold statement but you see can where I am coming from. We then brought this question up to a number of women, I expected to get slapped in the face or screamed at for such a ridiculous statement, but most of them agreed with my point. Of course the answer was that men do it because they Love us – but really would the men love you in the same way if there was no sex involved?

Silverfish

Zascar wrote:

but really would the men love you in the same way if there was no sex involved?

Yes, because I am ****ing awesome.

junkyard

Your going to end up paying one way or another.;)

Chakar

Zascar wrote:

I had an interesting conversation with some friends the other day. Everyone know that guys and girls have a very different attitude to sex and relationships. Women are in it for the security, companionship, closeness and also intimacy, but really guys are in it above all else, for the sex. I asked a load of the lads that are in serious relationships, if for some crazy reason there was going to be no sex or physical intimacy in it for you at all, would you still maintain the relationship and still do all the things that guys so for their girlfriends. The unanimous decision was No.

The one obvious thing that separates friends from partners is sex. Personally I have a lot of very close female friends who I love dearly and I am very good to them, but really there is a cut off point of the amount of sh1t I will put up with, or things I will do, because I am their friend and not their boyfriend. If they were my girlfriend and I was getting sex it would be different. Most guys have to put a lot of effort in, put up with a lot of sh1t, spend a LOT of money and do things they do not want to do, to keep their relationship going. How to girls do this? Well they also have to do some things they don’t want to, but they can use sex to control men. Men cannot do this in the same way.

The way I look at it is: Men want sex, but they cannot have sex without women. Women have the sex – they ultimately decide when men have sex, and so they use it to manipulate men. So to get the sex men have to play by the women’s rules, make changes to their life, do all the coupley things and most of the time spend a lot of money, to keep their girlfriend happy so that they get all the sex they want. There are very few guys who can get all the sex they want when not in a relationship. So if guys do all this to maintain the relationship which really the main thing he wants to get out of it is sex, its brings us to the question: Are all women, in essence, prostitutes?

Ok this is a very bold statement but you see can where I am coming from. We then brought this question up to a number of women, I expected to get slapped in the face or screamed at for such a ridiculous statement, but most of them agreed with my point. Of course the answer was that men do it because they Love us – but really would the men love you in the same way if there was no sex involved?

Thats sounds pretty much right.

Tar.Aldarion

If I love her(and I have only loved one person) then yes, I would stay, without a doubt.

[Jackass]

Women are annoying people who, for the most part, are idiots, but, unfortunatly, hold all the sex.

If there was no sex in the world (and people were just "born") then I don't think many guys would waist there time with girls and just have the craic with the lads. (craic...no pun intended?)

But we all like sex, so we have to put up with it.

ThrownAway

Zascar wrote:

Everyone know that guys and girls have a very different attitude to sex and relationships. Women are in it for the security, companionship, closeness and also intimacy, but really guys are in it above all else, for the sex.

No everyone doesn't ''know''. I for one couldn't be in a relationship if, for whatever reason, my boyfriend didn't want sex in it. That's a very generalized statement to make and it all sounds like a lack of relationship experience. Either that or you've been with pretty strange girls in the past.

Zascar wrote:

Most guys have to put a lot of effort in, put up with a lot of sh1t, spend a LOT of money and do things they do not want to do, to keep their relationship going.

So do women being in a relationship requires the same amount of effort for both partners. Not all guys are in a relationship for sex alone. Sometimes they could be in that thing called love.

Zascar wrote:

Well they also have to do some things they don’t want to, but they can use sex to control men. Men cannot do this in the same way.

That's VERY true.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's not always like that. I know and have known plenty of guys with low sex drives and it ended up in reverse. It can easily happen.

I don't think the question should be ''are all women prostitutes'' but ''are people with low sex drives prostitutes'' instead...get me?

Zascar

I'm being very very general, of course there are many exceptions. I'm not saying that women aren't interested in sex, of course they are, but generally its less of a significant importance that it is for men.

cue

DubGuy wrote:

If there was no sex in the world (and people were just "born") then I don't think many guys would waist there time with girls and just have the craic with the lads. .

Nah, craic with the lads gets a bit stale after a while. I like having pointless discussions with the GF just for the sake of it. Lads don't really care one way or the other most of the time but the GF has to put her stamp on everything. I like to just look at her too, just to admire her how she fits together, not always in a sexual way, but kinda like watching a good football match

tj-music.com

No WAY

humbert

simple if I was in love yes, if not, no, same goes for everyone whether they know it or not.

azezil

Zascar wrote:

The way I look at it is: Men want sex, but they cannot have sex without women.

I manage to have sex without women all of the time...

Women have the sex – they ultimately decide when men have sex, and so they use it to manipulate men.

So have sex with men, problem solved!

On a more serious note, a sexless relationship, yeah I could do it but only if there was a real connection and affection shown in other ways.

youthacademy

DubGuy wrote:

Women are annoying people who, for the most part, are idiots, but, unfortunatly, hold all the sex.

If there was no sex in the world (and people were just "born") then I don't think many guys would waist there time with girls and just have the craic with the lads. (craic...no pun intended?)

But we all like sex, so we have to put up with it.

well i agree, but would you really have that much craic with the lads if you had no sex to talk about, theres only so much match tactics you could talk about!
reletionship without sex? dno if i could do it....

nitrogen

Zascar wrote:

Everyone know that guys and girls have a very different attitude to sex and relationships. Women are in it for the security, companionship, closeness and also intimacy, but really guys are in it above all else, for the sex.

Different guys and different girls have different attitudes to relationships. Guys don't do everything to make a relationship work just because of sex. You seem to be living forty years in the past.

Kiera

nitrogen wrote:

Different guys and different girls have different attitudes to relationships. Guys don't do everything to make a relationship work just because of sex. You seem to be living forty years in the past.

Exactly what I was going to say!

Where are you getting your information from? Where does it say “Women are in it for the security, companionship, closeness and also intimacy”. You need to wake up and talk to real women before generalizing like that!

po0k

Many adults expect to have an adult relationship.
Sex is an important part of that, leather flails and symbians are optional.

Dragan

*signs* Folks, at the end of the day the question was for guys....the argument was made for guys etc etc etc, whether dudes or chicks prefer to **** more, who cares, the question is what it is.

Besides, it will take about an hour for the "Girls, would you still be with your boyfriend if there was no sex involved?" shadow post to be put up so we can all have the same conversation there, only in reverse.

No then, to answer the question, yeah, i stayed in sexless relationship that i have only recently come out of. We were going out for about 2 and a half years, the first six months were good, the next six were okay and the last year and half were poor, with no sex at all for the last 9 months or so.

Why did i stay in it? For fear of being along than anything to be honest....but i suppose i did love her.....but then it gets complicated because it would seem she didn't love me anymore....but hey, there you go.

I will say however that i won't do it again, because one thing i can definitely say is that my sacrifice of my own needs ( i like to fu*k ) in favour of her's was, i think, never appreciated.

From now on i have simple rules that will judge my next girlfriend should i meet a lady i like enough.

She must,

a) Not mind having a blunt.
b) Enjoy ye olde horror films.
c) Want to fu*k to Tool.

but now i'm side tracking.

Big Nelly

No sex......OK


Just let her give me a BJ.....I ok with that!

NeverSayDie

Zascar wrote:

Everyone know that guys and girls have a very different attitude to sex and relationships. Women are in it for the security, companionship, closeness and also intimacy, but really guys are in it above all else, for the sex.

Yeah, sure we are.

Zascar wrote:

The one obvious thing that separates friends from partners is sex. Personally I have a lot of very close female friends who I love dearly and I am very good to them, but really there is a cut off point of the amount of sh1t I will put up with, or things I will do, because I am their friend and not their boyfriend. If they were my girlfriend and I was getting sex it would be different. Most guys have to put a lot of effort in, put up with a lot of sh1t, spend a LOT of money and do things they do not want to do, to keep their relationship going. How to girls do this? Well they also have to do some things they don’t want to, but they can use sex to control men. Men cannot do this in the same way.

If you don't mind my asking OP, what age are you?

layke

Dragan, that was me 4 years ago and I have found like most people who have watched a loving relationship crumble around them (over a long long long time) usually come out stronger in the end It sounds like you already have learned from your last relationship.

Could I live in a relationship without sex? I suppose if I was in love yes, but i'm not kidding myself here that relationship would inevitably fall apart. Then again i'm a bit of a weirdo and I LOVE my own personal time away from everyone, including the girlfriend which she cannot understand.

Emmo

I could easily stay with my girlfriend if there was no sex. I love her, she makes everything much better in my life.

In terms of sex, we have a great sex life, she wants sex just as much as I do.

Sounds to me like you have not been in a proper caring and loving relationship yet.

Everyone makes comprimses in relationships, its what you do when 2 people are doing things together instead of 1.

You do things together that you want to do. My girlfriend would never make me do something that I dont want to do and I would never do something I dont want to do either (cept hang out washing, I hate doing that but I do it cause its a necessity).

Perhaps you should revisit your idea of a girlfriend (see partner) and maybe go out with someone you have more of a connection with?

Emmo

Collie D

Kiera wrote:

Exactly what I was going to say!

Where are you getting your information from? Where does it say “Women are in it for the security, companionship, closeness and also intimacy”. You need to wake up and talk to real women before generalizing like that!

Have to agree with that, very general "Men are from Venus..." type statement there. Not with my gf just for sex, if anything it's probably the other way around cos she probably has a higher drive than me

deedee lepoopoo

DubGuy wrote:

Women are annoying people who,

I waist there time with girls .

Some women may be annoying but at least some women have a basic grasp of grammar and spelling.

Back on topic - Women love sex aswell.

my little pony

Most girls love sex as much as guys and sometimes more, they just don't have to talk about it 24/7

po0k

my little pony wrote:

Most girls love sex as much as guys and sometimes more, they just don't have to talk about it 24/7

Bollocks.

Dragan

my little pony wrote:

Most girls love sex as much as guys and sometimes more, they just don't have to talk about it 24/7

Sure they don't.

my little pony

SyxPak wrote:

Bollocks.

:rolleyes:

Wanttochange

DubGuy wrote:

Women are annoying people who, for the most part, are idiots, but, unfortunatly, hold all the sex.

If there was no sex in the world (and people were just "born") then I don't think many guys would waist there time with girls and just have the craic with the lads. (craic...no pun intended?)

But we all like sex, so we have to put up with it.[/QUOTE

Very strange way at looking at life, you must have no success with women.

Collie D

May I suggest homosexuality?:D

Dr Pepper

Yes! There are more important things in life than sex.. even if you are a bloke

Edit: I was saying 'yes' to the OP's question, not the previous post

WhiteWashMan

Zascar wrote:

I had an interesting conversation with some friends the other day. Everyone know that guys and girls have a very different attitude to sex and relationships. Women are in it for the security, companionship, closeness and also intimacy, but really guys are in it above all else, for the sex. I asked a load of the lads that are in serious relationships, if for some crazy reason there was going to be no sex or physical intimacy in it for you at all, would you still maintain the relationship and still do all the things that guys so for their girlfriends. The unanimous decision was No.

The one obvious thing that separates friends from partners is sex. Personally I have a lot of very close female friends who I love dearly and I am very good to them, but really there is a cut off point of the amount of sh1t I will put up with, or things I will do, because I am their friend and not their boyfriend. If they were my girlfriend and I was getting sex it would be different. Most guys have to put a lot of effort in, put up with a lot of sh1t, spend a LOT of money and do things they do not want to do, to keep their relationship going. How to girls do this? Well they also have to do some things they don’t want to, but they can use sex to control men. Men cannot do this in the same way.

The way I look at it is: Men want sex, but they cannot have sex without women. Women have the sex – they ultimately decide when men have sex, and so they use it to manipulate men. So to get the sex men have to play by the women’s rules, make changes to their life, do all the coupley things and most of the time spend a lot of money, to keep their girlfriend happy so that they get all the sex they want. There are very few guys who can get all the sex they want when not in a relationship. So if guys do all this to maintain the relationship which really the main thing he wants to get out of it is sex, its brings us to the question: Are all women, in essence, prostitutes?

Ok this is a very bold statement but you see can where I am coming from. We then brought this question up to a number of women, I expected to get slapped in the face or screamed at for such a ridiculous statement, but most of them agreed with my point. Of course the answer was that men do it because they Love us – but really would the men love you in the same way if there was no sex involved?

ah, the view of the world from the under 20 year old.

:rolleyes:

WhiteWashMan

Emmo wrote:

I could easily stay with my girlfriend if there was no sex. I love her, she makes everything much better in my life.

In terms of sex, we have a great sex life, she wants sex just as much as I do.

Sounds to me like you have not been in a proper caring and loving relationship yet.

Everyone makes comprimses in relationships, its what you do when 2 people are doing things together instead of 1.

You do things together that you want to do. My girlfriend would never make me do something that I dont want to do and I would never do something I dont want to do either (cept hang out washing, I hate doing that but I do it cause its a necessity).

Perhaps you should revisit your idea of a girlfriend (see partner) and maybe go out with someone you have more of a connection with?

Emmo

ah, the view of the over 25 year old....

BoozyBabe

Not all women are annoying
Not all women cost a lot of money to keep happy
Not all women use sex for manipulation purposes

A lot of us are a lot more mature than all of that & some of us want sex every bit as much, if not more than our male counterparts.

I for one could NOT be in a relationship with no sex. I.E. If my man had an erection problem or something & wouldn't get it fixed, or just wasn't interested, then good luck, I'd be outta there.

If on the other hand, my life long partner, whom I'd shared a sexually active relationship for a number of years got it chopped off in an accident or something, then of course I'd stay with him, I'd love him too much, but after the initial shock / healing period he'd just have to wear a strap on to keep me satisfied!!!

brown*eyed*girl

It all depends where the individual is at in their life. I've had flings where I've only been there for the physical side and suppose the company. One guy in particular scared the ****e out of me and proposed when I thought we were just having a casual fling. I've been very in love, I've been infatuated, I've fallen out of love and back in again . It all depends. I guess for the younger men its more to do with sex for them as a lot of the time their little heads do the thinking for them and this is my experience and opinion only but younger girls are very emotional. Again though we could generalise this until forever as its not that black and white and there is lots of grey in between. I think the OP has a point but it would very much more apt for the younger generation.

Collie D

Dr Pepper wrote:

Yes! There are more important things in life than sex.. even if you are a bloke

Edit: I was saying 'yes' to the OP's question, not the previous post

Haha, sure you were

Zascar

Sorry it had to be done, No point in women trying to defend themselves in the other thread if its strictly aimed at guys!
IMO If my boyfriend stopped giving me sex and the reason wasnt medical! I would dump him end of story!! Women have needs same as men In some cases moreso I'd do the same if I married a guy too!
A low sex drive can be tolerated to a certain extent but none at all:eek:
This happened to a friend of my mam's
The guy happily went off sex after their children were born! She's now 60-something and has a younger lover(50-something)

Zascar wrote:

I had an interesting conversation with some friends the other day. Everyone know that guys and girls have a very different attitude to sex and relationships. Women are in it for the security, companionship, closeness and also intimacy, but really guys are in it above all else, for the sex. I asked a load of the lads that are in serious relationships, if for some crazy reason there was going to be no sex or physical intimacy in it for you at all, would you still maintain the relationship and still do all the things that guys so for their girlfriends. The unanimous decision was No.

The one obvious thing that separates friends from partners is sex. Personally I have a lot of very close female friends who I love dearly and I am very good to them, but really there is a cut off point of the amount of sh1t I will put up with, or things I will do, because I am their friend and not their boyfriend. If they were my girlfriend and I was getting sex it would be different. Most guys have to put a lot of effort in, put up with a lot of sh1t, spend a LOT of money and do things they do not want to do, to keep their relationship going. How to girls do this? Well they also have to do some things they don’t want to, but they can use sex to control men. Men cannot do this in the same way.

The way I look at it is: Men want sex, but they cannot have sex without women. Women have the sex – they ultimately decide when men have sex, and so they use it to manipulate men. So to get the sex men have to play by the women’s rules, make changes to their life, do all the coupley things and most of the time spend a lot of money, to keep their girlfriend happy so that they get all the sex they want. There are very few guys who can get all the sex they want when not in a relationship. So if guys do all this to maintain the relationship which really the main thing he wants to get out of it is sex, its brings us to the question: Are all women, in essence, prostitutes?

Ok this is a very bold statement but you see can where I am coming from. We then brought this question up to a number of women, I expected to get slapped in the face or screamed at for such a ridiculous statement, but most of them agreed with my point. Of course the answer was that men do it because they Love us – but really would the men love you in the same way if there was no sex involved?

Beruthiel

Zascar wrote:

Women are in it for the security

Security eh?
I'm self sufficient thanks and (shock horror) managed that all by my own self

companionship, closeness and also intimacy, but really guys are in it above all else, for the sex.

If you are a teenager, this may come as a surprise to you but grown men can actually require all of the above too

I asked a load of the lads that are in serious relationships, if for some crazy reason there was going to be no sex or physical intimacy in it for you at all, would you still maintain the relationship and still do all the things that guys so for their girlfriends

Ya, because women would be quite happy to stay in a relationship even if they never had sex again :rolleyes:

If they were my girlfriend and I was getting sex it would be different.

more fool you then

Most guys have to put a lot of effort in, put up with a lot of sh1t

Then they are idiots.

spend a LOT of money

See above

and do things they do not want to do

above...

but they can use sex to control men.

ROFL

Men want sex, but they cannot have sex without women. Women have the sex – they ultimately decide when men have sex, and so they use it to manipulate men.

What a dreadfully sad world you live in if this is what you actually believe a real relationship is truly about

So to get the sex men have to play by the women’s rules, make changes to their life, do all the coupley things and most of the time spend a lot of money, to keep their girlfriend happy so that they get all the sex they want.

They do say you get what you deserve.
Your outlook is so shallow, I'm not surprised you attract this kind of woman.

Are all women, in essence, prostitutes?

Get over yourself.

but most of them agreed with my point.

ROFL

Lux23

I don't really know. I am only seeing my current boyfriend a few months and if he wouldn't have sex with me then I would probably end it but if it was my husband it would be a much harder decision to make.

Dragan

Hmmm..... took a little over the hour to get done.

Dragan wrote:

*signs* Folks, at the end of the day the question was for guys....the argument was made for guys etc etc etc, whether dudes or chicks prefer to **** more, who cares, the question is what it is.

Besides, it will take about an hour for the "Girls, would you still be with your boyfriend if there was no sex involved?" shadow post to be put up so we can all have the same conversation there, only in reverse.

youthacademy

i'm a fella, jus read some of that other thread, any fella who thinks women dont love sex is deluding himself,inexperienced i think is the only word for it. as tommy tiernan says " behind every innocent face is a rageing whore!!" no offence girls, i realise that comment is a bit extreme but to a certain extent i feel its true!! :-D

Emmo

WhiteWashMan wrote:

ah, the view of the over 25 year old....

Thanks,



I think

Emmo

Doodee

No,

I don't believe i could.

Ruu_Old

I wouldnt have a problem if there was no sex.

Emmo

To be honest is it great the guys and girls love sex.

Emmo

Sleepy

No sexual activity of any kind or no intercourse?

The former, not a chance, the latter maybe (I'd like to have kids some day though).

Cuddlesworth

Is going elsewhere for the sex, but staying in the relationship a valid option?

Dragan

Just to throw a knew thought in there actually, to all the people saying they could live with out sex etc..... i would have said the same thing, in fact i did say the same thing....but it is not the actual sex itself, or the end result or whatever it is that you personnally get from sex.

Sex between two people in a relationship, is for me anyway, a level of intimacy and a sign of respect that for me means quite a lot. For me it means i am happy with and attracted to her, she is happy with and attracted to me.

This is very important in any relationship, as self confident as i am sure we all are, it is nice to think that the person that we share thoughts and feelings with is also attracted to us on a physical level.

Sure, it's an ego stroke but lets be honest, it's a vital part of a human relationship to know that the attraction is there.

It was a hard thing to come to terms with tbh, so nice to see all you good folk out there getting it on!!!!

JC 2K3

Reading this thread makes me feel very mature for a 17 year old.

Beetlebum

I agree with the OP. I couldn't continue to go out with a guy if there was no sex at all involved. I think it's the glue that bonds couples together, without it you're basically just friends. My bf often used to turn me down when I'd wanna make out cause he was tired!! It drove me crazy and we used to argue about it all the time. It used to make me doubt myself and our relationship. I've done modelling so I know I'm not unattractive but alot of the time he didn't want to make out with me...

Dun laoire

Jaysus, everybody needs a good auld romp.

Tobias Greeshman

As far as relationships go, I don't think that having a non-sexual relationship would last that long, for me anyways.

In a relationship sex, is the ultimate way that two people can be intimate and show their love for one another. Without it where I don't think the closeness and intimacy of the relationship would exist. I expect a certain amount of chemistry in relationships and if it was non-sexual I don't think the intensity of this chemistry would exist, and the relationship might just fizzle out.

A lot of women want to have children at some stage, so I can't imagine them entering a non-sexual relationship, which would impede them from having children.