Best monologue in a movie?

Dave!

hey folks,

I was just watchin Donnie Brasco today and there's a deadly monologue in it where he's explaining the phrase "forget about it" to the FBI dudes...

"Forget about it" is like if you agree with someone, you know, like "Raquel Welsh is one great piece of ass forget about it." But then, if you disagree, like "A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it!" you know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like Mingrio's Peppers, "forget about it." But it's also like saying "Go to hell!" too. Like, you know, like "Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker?" and Paulie says "Forget about it!" Sometimes it just means forget about it.

Pretty cool

There's also a few brilliant monologues in good Will Hunting (Matt Damon), such as...

Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at the N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people that I never met and that I never had no problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a ****. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. They're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and ****in' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's walking to the ****in' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the schrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorroids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure, **** it, while I'm at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

So what's your favourite monologue, and try and find it online so you can copy and paste it?

Might find it here
http://www.whysanity.net/monos/

Necronomicon

Good link!

This is up there in my favourites, from Mr. Sam Jackson:

Well there's this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." I been sayin' that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never gave much thought what it meant. I just thought it was some cold-blooded **** to say to a mother****er before I popped a cap in his ass. I saw some **** this mornin' made me think twice. See now I'm thinkin', maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9 Milimeter here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. Now I'd like that. But that **** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.

Creamy Goodness

Dicks
written by Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Pam Brady

Gary: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks! And the Film Actors' Guild!.. are pussies. And Kim Jong Il!.. is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks!.. because pussies get ****ed by dicks. But dicks also **** assholes. Assholes who just want to **** on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can **** an asshole... is a dick... with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they **** too much, or **** when it isn't apporoporate, and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of **** that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us **** this asshole, we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies... all covered in ****.

Basq

Ah yes.. Jule's monologue in 'Pulp Fiction' truly is amazing!

Love the Monty Brogan (as played by Ed Norton) F*ck Everybody monologue in '25th Hour'

F*ck me? F*ck you! F*ck you and this whole city and everyone in it. F*ck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. F*ck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a f*cking job! F*ck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in f*cking training. SLOW THE F*CK DOWN! F*ck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. F*ck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? F*ck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you F*cking came from! F*ck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! F*ck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe mother F*ckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for F*ckING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that sh*t? Give me a F*cking break! Tyco! Worldcom! F*ck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst F*ckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. F*ck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. F*ck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! F*ck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the F*ck on! F*ck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! F*ck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. F*ck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, F*ck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in F*ckin' Otisville, J! F*ck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass! F*ck Jacob Elinsky, whining malcontent. F*ck Francis Xavier Slaughtery my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass. F*ck Naturelle Riviera, I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river, f*cking bitch. F*ck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar sipping on club sodas, selling whisky to firemen, cheering the Bronx bombers. F*ck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row-houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to f*cking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place.

fade2black

Winner

Bulworth

Obscenity? The rich is getting richer and richer and richer while the middle class is getting more poor/ Making billions and billions and billions of bucks/ well my friend if you weren't already rich at the start well that situation just sucks/cause the riches mother ****er in five of us is getting ninety ****in eight percent of it/ and every other mother****er in the world is left to wonder where the **** we went with it/ Obscenity?/ I'm a Senator/ I gotta raise $10,000 a day every day I'm in Washington/ I ain't getting it in South Central/ I'm gettin it in Beverly Hills/ So I'm votin from them in the Senate the way they want me too/ and-and-and I'm sending them my bills/ But we got babies in South Central dying as young as they do in Peru/ We got public schools that are nightmares/ We got a Congress that ain't got a clue/We got kids with submachine guns/ We got militias throwing bombs/ We got Bill just gettin all weepy/ We got Newt blaming teenage moms/We got factories closing down/ Where the hell did all the good jobs go? Well, I'll tell you where they went/My contributors make more profits makin, makin, makin, Hirin' kids in Mexico/ Oh a brother can work in fast food/ If he can't invent computer games/ But what we used to call America/ That's going down the drains/How's a young man gonna meet his financial responsibilities workin and mother****in Burger King? He ain't! And please don't even start with that school ****/ There aint no education going on up in that mother****er/ Obscenity? We got a million brothers in prison/ I mean, the walls are really rockin/But you can bet your ass they'd all be out/If they could pay for Johnny Cochran/ The constitution is supposed to give them an equal chance/ Well, that ain't gonna happen for sure/ Ain't it time to take a little from the rich mother****er and give a little to the poor? I mean, those boys over there on the monitor/ they want a government smaller and weak/ but the be speakin for the riches 20 percent when they pretend they're defendin the meek/ Now, ****, ****, cocksuker, that's the real obscenity/ Black folks livin with every day/ Trying to believe a mothe****in word Democrats and Republicans say/ Obscenity? I'm Jay Billington Bulworth And I've come to say/ The Democratic party's got some **** to pay/ It's gonna pay it in the ghetto/ It's gonna pay it in the-

madrab

One of my favourites

Rutger Hauer in Bladerunner
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxgu9T1YkqQ

Orson Wells (or possably Leonard Nimoy) in transformers the movie
I.....AM UNICRON
wow, there is power in his voice

Sauron

For one of the funniest monologues, I'd turn to Dr.Evil:

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with a low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would drink, he would womanize. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I suggest you try it.

Classic

Robbo

fade2black wrote:

Winner

Exactly what I was going to suggest when I saw the thread title. Still, at least my second place prize is a set of steakknives...

quazzy

"Out of order, I show you out of order. You don't know what out of order is, Mr. Trask. I'd show you, but I'm too old, I'm too tired, I'm too fcukin' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a FLAMETHROWER to this place! Out of order? Who the hell do you think you're talkin' to? I've been around, you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen. Boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, but I say you are... executin' his soul! And why? Because he's not a Bairdman. Bairdmen. You hurt this boy, you're gonna be Baird bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are out there, FCUK YOU TOO!"

Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade (Al Pacino) - Scent of a Woman


Great

Joeface

def agree with madrab.... Bladerunner one is excllent ......best adlib ever, fits perfect with the movie

Dave!

Ahh, how could I forget the following...

Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls need to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and curse the Marines; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.
You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

Morlar

madrab wrote:

Rutger Hauer in Bladerunner
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxgu9T1YkqQ

Ruther Hauer's 'All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain' one is the best ever imo.

The orson welles one about 'what have the swiss ever done for us' (mega-paraphrase there), from the third man where he talks about warring nations and the progress of mankind - then mentions the swiss who never have wars and in a thousand years have contributed the cuckoo clock to mankind - something along those lines. That one was cool too.

Team america one ruled too.

Rhyme

madrab wrote:

Orson Wells (or possably Leonard Nimoy) in transformers the movie
I.....AM UNICRON
wow, there is power in his voice

Orson Welles did Unicron (Leonard Nimoy was Galvatron and Eric Idle as Wreck-Gar)

Ive always loved that bit after the car crash in Fight Club, so many people overlook it and it really grew on me...

Tyler Durden - In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.

stevejazzx

some great selctions - kudos


Narrator: You are not your job. You are not how much you have in the bank. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your khakis. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. What happens first is you can't sleep. What happens then is there's a gun in your mouth. And what happens next is you meet Tyler Durden. Let me tell you about Tyler. He had a plan. In Tyler we trusted. Tyler says the things you own, end up owning you. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Fight Club represents that kind of freedom. First rule of Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight Club. Second rule of Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight Club. Tyler says self-improvement is masturbation. Tyler says self-destruction might be the answer. Third rule of Fight Club: You join Fight Club, you gotta fight.

&

Red: I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't wanna know. Some things are best left unsaid. I like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man at Shawshank felt free.

faceman

Sorry guys but the best movie monologue has to be Alec Baldwin's in Glengary Glenross. Cant post it here cos its full of profanities and i couldnt be bothered to blank them out but heres a few samples:

'Put that coffee down, coffee is for closers only'

'Whats my name? F%$k you thats my name. You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name.'

'You see this watch, That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a ****. Good father? **** you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you c%$ksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave.'

'Your name is "you're wanting", and you can't play the man's game, you can't close them, and then tell your wife your troubles. 'Cause only one thing counts in this world: get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you f&%kin' faggots?'

Classic, and the highlight of baldwins career

Morlar

Swimming with sharks had some great dialogue too - heres a snippet :


Buddy: What I am concerned with is detail. I asked you go get me a packet of Sweet-N-Low. You bring me back Equal. That isn't what I asked for. That isn't what I wanted. That isn't what I needed and that **** isn't going to work around here.

Guy: I, I just thought...

Buddy: You thought. Do me a ****ing favor. Shut up, listen, and learn. Look, I know that this is your first day and you don't really know how things work around here, so I will tell you. You have no brain. No judgement calls are necessary. What you think means nothing. What you feel means nothing. You are here for me. You are here to protect my interests and to serve my needs. So, while it may look like a little thing to you, when I ask for a packet of Sweet-N-Low, that's what I want. And it's your responsibility to see that I get what I want.


Another one that had excellent dialogue and narration is Kiss kiss Bang Bang

mike65

Bah beaten to the Blade Runner monologue, Hauer improvised that himself, the script included a rather rambling piece of prose wheich he regarded as too long winded for the moment so he filleted it and added the immortal
"All those moments will be lost in time. Like tears in rain. Time to die" himself.

Mike.

J.R.HARTLEY

faceman wrote:

Sorry guys but the best movie monologue has to be Alec Baldwin's in Glengary Glenross. Cant post it here cos its full of profanities and i couldnt be bothered to blank them out but heres a few samples:

'Put that coffee down, coffee is for closers only'

'Whats my name? F%$k you thats my name. You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name.'

'You see this watch, That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a ****. Good father? **** you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you c%$ksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave.'

'Your name is "you're wanting", and you can't play the man's game, you can't close them, and then tell your wife your troubles. 'Cause only one thing counts in this world: get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you f&%kin' faggots?'

Classic, and the highlight of baldwins career

sorry faceman but you were beaten to the punch way back up the thread.

quickbeam

This is usually counted among the best too:

Captain Koons: Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together over five years. Hopefully...you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your Dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Major Coolidge would be talkin' right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is I'm talkin' to you, Butch. I got somethin' for you.

(The Captain sits down and pulls a gold wrist watch from his pocket)

This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first World War. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee. Made by the first company to ever make wrist watches. Up till then people just carried pocket watches. It was bought by private Doughboy Erine Coolidge on the day he set sail for Paris. It was your great-grandfather's war watch and he wore it everyday he was in that war. When he had done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the watch off, put it an old coffee can, and in that can it stayed 'til your granddad Dane Coolidge was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight the Germans once again. This time they called it World War II. Your great-grandfather gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's. Dane was a Marine and he was killed -- along with the other Marines at the battle of Wake Island. Your granddad was facing death, he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leavin' that island alive. So three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport name of Winocki, a man he had never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he'd never seen in the flesh, his gold watch. Three days later, your granddad was dead. But Winocki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father, his Dad's gold watch. This watch. (holds it up, long pause) This watch was on your Daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew if the gooks ever saw the watch it'd be confiscated, taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, that watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yella hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

Pulp Fiction of course.

Wacker

James Gandolfini monologue about killing to Patricia Arquette in True Romance is pretty slick.

Virgil: Now the first time you kill somebody, that's the hardest. I don't give a sh*t if you're f*ckin' Wyatt Earp or Jack the Ripper. Remember that guy in Texas? The guy up in that f*ckin' tower that killed all them people? I'll bet you green money that first little black dot he took a bead on, that was the b*tch of the bunch. First one is tough, no f*ckin' foolin'. The second one... the second one ain't no f*ckin' Mardis Gras either, but it's better than the first one 'cause you still feel the same thing, y'know... except it's more diluted, y'know it's... it's better. I threw up on the first one, you believe that? Then the third one... the third one is easy, you level right off. It's no problem. Now... ****... now I do it just to watch their f*ckin' expression change.

Setun

Sorry folks, teh Winner tbh:

President Merkin Muffley: [to Kissoff] Hello? ... Ah ... I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? ... Oh-ho, that's much better. ... yeah ... huh ... yes ... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri. ... Clear and plain and coming through fine....I'm coming through fine, too, eh? ... Good, then ... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine. ... Good. ... Well, it's good that you're fine and ... and I'm fine. ... I agree with you, it's great to be fine. ... a-ha-ha-ha-ha ... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb. ...The *Bomb*, Dmitri.... The *hydrogen* bomb! ... Well now, what happened is ... ah ... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of ... well, he went a little funny in the head ... you know ... just a little ... funny. And, ah ... he went and did a silly thing. ... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes ... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri. ... Let me finish, Dmitri. ... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?! ...Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri? ... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? ... *Of course* I like to speak to you! ... *Of course* I like to say hello! ... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call. ... Listen, if it wasn't friendly ... you probably wouldn't have even got it. ... They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour. ... I am ... I am positive, Dmitri. ... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick. ... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes. ... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then ... I'd say that, ah ... well, ah ... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri. ... I know they're our boys. ... All right, well listen now. Who should we call? ...*Who* should we call, Dmitri? The ... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there.... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. ... Where is that, Dmitri? ... In Omsk. ... Right. ... Yes. ...Oh, you'll call them first, will you? ... Uh-hu ... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri? ... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information. ...Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm ... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri. ...I'm very sorry. ... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well. ... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are. ... So we're both sorry, all right?! ... All right.

-Dr strangelove

Wacker

Daddio, that one is indeed absolute brilliance.

Huggles

My fav actor in my fav movie:

Scent of a Woman

Mr. Trask: Mr. Sims, you are a cover-up artist and you are a liar. Col. Frank Slade: But not a snitch!
Trask: Excuse me?
Slade: No, I don't think I will. This is such a crock of ****.
Trask: Mr. Slade, you will watch your language. You are at the Baird School now not a barracks. Now Mr. Sims I will give you one final opportunity to speak up.
Slade: Mr. Sims doesn't want it. He doesn't need to labeled, "...still worthy of being a 'Baird Man.'" What the hell is that? What is your motto here? Boys, inform on your classmates, save your hide. Anything short of that we're gonna burn you at the stake? Well, gentlemen. When the going gets tough, some guys run and some guys stay. Here's Charlie--facing the fire, and there's George--hiding in big Daddy's pocket. And what are you gonna do? You're gonna reward George, and destroy Charlie.
Trask: Are you finished, Mr. Slade?
Slade: No. I'm just gettin' warmed up. Now I don't know who went to this place--William Howard Taft, William Jennings Bryan, William Tell--whoever. Their spirit is dead; if they ever had one, it's gone. You're building a rat ship here. A vessel for sea going snitches. And if you think your preparing these minnows for manhood you better think again. Because I say you are killing the very spirit this institution proclaims it instills. What a sham! What kind of show are you guys puttin' on here today. I mean, the only class in this act is sittin' next to me. And I say, this boy's soul is in tact. It is non-negotiable. You know how I know. Because someone here--I'm not gonna say who--offered to buy it. Only Charlie here wasn't selling.
Mr.Trask: Sir, you are out of order!
Slade: Out of order, I'll show you out of order! You don't know what out of order is Mr.Trask! I'd show you but I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm too ****in' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago I'd take a flame-thrower to this place. Out of order, who the hell do you think you're talking to? I've been around you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen, boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit, there is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot-soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs but I say that you are executing his soul. And why? Because he's not a Baird man. Baird men, you hurt this boy, you're going to be Baird Bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are out there, **** you too.
Mr. Trask: Stand down Mr. Slade!
Slade: I'm not finished! Now as I came in here, I heard those words...cradle of leadership. Well, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. And it has fallen here, it has fallen! Makers of men, creators of leaders, be careful what kind of leaders you're producing here. Now, I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong; I'm no judge or jury. But I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out to buy his future! And that my friends is called integrity, that's called courage. Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of. (pause) Now I have come to the crossroads in my days, and I have always known the right path, always, without exception, I knew. But I never took it, you know why? Because it's too damn hard. Now here's Charlie; he's come to the crossroads. And he's chosen a path, it's the right path. It's a path made of principle, that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey. You hold this boy's future in your hands committee! It's a valuable future. Believe me! Don't destroy...protect it...embrace it. It's gonna make you proud some day...I promise.

Hooooo ahhhh

BrenC

From V for Vendetta

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.


Here it is on Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC4ZmSuHm70&search=movie%20monologue

I just love that monologue, its very sharp and the alliteration is brilliant

quazzy

Beat you to it already Gooner- see first age of this thread.
Mine is the abridged version though.


Good choice...

TheGooner wrote:

My fav actor in my fav movie:

Scent of a Woman

Mr. Trask: Mr. Sims, you are a cover-up artist and you are a liar. Col. Frank Slade: But not a snitch!
Trask: Excuse me?
Slade: No, I don't think I will. This is such a crock of ****.
Trask: Mr. Slade, you will watch your language. You are at the Baird School now not a barracks. Now Mr. Sims I will give you one final opportunity to speak up.
Slade: Mr. Sims doesn't want it. He doesn't need to labeled, "...still worthy of being a 'Baird Man.'" What the hell is that? What is your motto here? Boys, inform on your classmates, save your hide. Anything short of that we're gonna burn you at the stake? Well, gentlemen. When the going gets tough, some guys run and some guys stay. Here's Charlie--facing the fire, and there's George--hiding in big Daddy's pocket. And what are you gonna do? You're gonna reward George, and destroy Charlie.
Trask: Are you finished, Mr. Slade?
Slade: No. I'm just gettin' warmed up. Now I don't know who went to this place--William Howard Taft, William Jennings Bryan, William Tell--whoever. Their spirit is dead; if they ever had one, it's gone. You're building a rat ship here. A vessel for sea going snitches. And if you think your preparing these minnows for manhood you better think again. Because I say you are killing the very spirit this institution proclaims it instills. What a sham! What kind of show are you guys puttin' on here today. I mean, the only class in this act is sittin' next to me. And I say, this boy's soul is in tact. It is non-negotiable. You know how I know. Because someone here--I'm not gonna say who--offered to buy it. Only Charlie here wasn't selling.
Mr.Trask: Sir, you are out of order!
Slade: Out of order, I'll show you out of order! You don't know what out of order is Mr.Trask! I'd show you but I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm too ****in' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago I'd take a flame-thrower to this place. Out of order, who the hell do you think you're talking to? I've been around you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen, boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit, there is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot-soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs but I say that you are executing his soul. And why? Because he's not a Baird man. Baird men, you hurt this boy, you're going to be Baird Bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are out there, **** you too.
Mr. Trask: Stand down Mr. Slade!
Slade: I'm not finished! Now as I came in here, I heard those words...cradle of leadership. Well, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. And it has fallen here, it has fallen! Makers of men, creators of leaders, be careful what kind of leaders you're producing here. Now, I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong; I'm no judge or jury. But I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out to buy his future! And that my friends is called integrity, that's called courage. Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of. (pause) Now I have come to the crossroads in my days, and I have always known the right path, always, without exception, I knew. But I never took it, you know why? Because it's too damn hard. Now here's Charlie; he's come to the crossroads. And he's chosen a path, it's the right path. It's a path made of principle, that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey. You hold this boy's future in your hands committee! It's a valuable future. Believe me! Don't destroy...protect it...embrace it. It's gonna make you proud some day...I promise.

Hooooo ahhhh

Metacortex

One of my recent favourites -

O-Ren Ishii: As your leader, I encourage you to -- from time to time and always in a respectful manner -- to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so. But allow me to convince you. And I will promise you, right here and now, no subject will be taboo ... except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or my American heritage as a negative is, I collect your ****ing head. (holds up a decapitated head) Just like this ****er here. Now if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE ****ING TIME!! ... I didn't think so.

Tar.Aldarion

Ones from V for Vendetta and Good Will Hunting are my favourites. Two excllent films.

madrab

Rhyme wrote:

Orson Welles did Unicron (Leonard Nimoy was Galvatron and Eric Idle as Wreck-Gar)[/I]

Supposedly Leonard Nimoy had to finish off Orson Welles lines as unicron, & if you listen to him talking there are 2 different voices throughout the movie, one sounds identical to Nimoys voice

Vokes

Kudos to Hugo Weaving for learning that Vendetta one. Must've taken him an age to learn it.

stevejazzx

some galring omissions

Hannibal Lecter's (Anthony Hopkins) mocking assessment of Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster), after she gives him a questionnaire to answer: ("You're so-o ambitious, aren't you? You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well-scrubbed, hustling rube, with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed - pure West Virginia. What does your father do? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you. All those tedious, sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere, getting all the way to the F...B...I"); and then after Clarice retorts, he adds his famous line of dialogue: ("A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chi-an-ti. You fly back to school now, little Starling. Fly, fly, fly. Fly, fly, fly.")

one my all time favs as the acting and tension and humour between walken and hopper is amazing:
Walken: ("...In fact, I don't know if you know this or not, Sicilians were spawned by ****... It's a fact. Sicilians have ****** blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me, look it up. You see, hundreds and hundreds of years ago, the Moors conquered Sicily. And Moors are ****. Way back then, Sicilians were like the wops in northern Italy. Blond hair, blue eyes. But, once the Moors moved in there, they changed the whole country. They did so much f--kin' with the Sicilian women, they changed the blood-line forever, from blonde hair and blue eyes to black hair and dark skin. I find it absolutely amazing to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, Sicilians still carry that ****** gene. I'm just quotin' history. It's a fact. It's written. Your ancestors were ****. Your great, great, great, great, great-grandmother was f--ked by a ******, and had a half-****** kid. That is a fact. Now tell me, am I lyin'?")

Cactus Col

The Egg Salad Speech in mystery men is class!


Shoveler: We can't run.
Bowler: Oh, yes. Oh, yes. It's been established that we can run.
Shoveler: *holds up a spoonful of egg salad* This is egg salad. It's loaded with cholesterol. The wife won't even let me touch it. Hardly seems to matter now. 'Cause chances are, we're already dead. Amazing is gone. There's no use waiting for the cavalry, because as of this moment, the cavalry is us.
Invisible Boy: Yeah, but I don't want to get frakulated.
Bowler: Psychofrakulated.
Invisible Boy: Still get frakulated.
Shoveler: *is now making an egg salad sandwich* This is our fight, whether we like it or not. Just we few. We're not your classic superheroes. We're not the favorites. We're the other guys. We're the guys nobody ever bets on. But I tell you what I think. *to Bowler* I think you and that ball of yours have an appointment that you've gotta keep. Invisible Boy, I think it's time you were seen. Sphinx, you have trained us well. And Dr. Heller, you might just have given us the edge we need. And Spleen, I don't wanna stand behind you, but I'll fight beside you with pride. *to Blue Raja* Jeff, you've got a rare and beautiful gift. The city needs you tonight. *to Mr. Furious* And Roy, in all the years I've known you, I've never seen you walk away from a fight. Why, you lifted a city bus once, man. I think you've got what it takes to handle Casanova. We're all in over our heads, and we know it. But if we take on this fight, those of us who survive it will forever after show our scars with pride and say, "That's right! I was there! I fought the good fight!" So, what do you say? Do we all gather together and go kick some Casanova butt, or do I eat this sandwich?!

humanji

Call me soppy, but for me it's got to be Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine in Casablanca talking to Ingrid Bergman's Ilsa:

ILSA: And I said I would never leave you!

RICK: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Not now. Here's looking at you, kid.

Man, I'm the tears are starting to flow already *sniff*

ianmc38

"It's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much; my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life." -Lester Burnham, American Beauty

Also love Christopher Walken and Dennis Hopper and conversation about Sicilians and their background. Great stuff.

Drag00n79

stevejazzx wrote:

one my all time favs as the acting and tension and humour between walken and hopper is amazing:
Walken: ("...In fact, I don't know if you know this or not, Sicilians were spawned by ****... It's a fact. Sicilians have ****** blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me, look it up. You see, hundreds and hundreds of years ago, the Moors conquered Sicily. And Moors are ****. Way back then, Sicilians were like the wops in northern Italy. Blond hair, blue eyes. But, once the Moors moved in there, they changed the whole country. They did so much f--kin' with the Sicilian women, they changed the blood-line forever, from blonde hair and blue eyes to black hair and dark skin. I find it absolutely amazing to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, Sicilians still carry that ****** gene. I'm just quotin' history. It's a fact. It's written. Your ancestors were ****. Your great, great, great, great, great-grandmother was f--ked by a ******, and had a half-****** kid. That is a fact. Now tell me, am I lyin'?")

The above quote is one of my favourites too but its not from Walken, its Hopper. Mind you, Walken has some good lines in this duologue too.

foxyboxer

"Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian Delady, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know, you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. Well, we didn't know. `Cause our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like `ol squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark nearest man and then he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces. Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, bosom's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He'd a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb."

Sleipnir

madrab wrote:

One of my favourites

Rutger Hauer in Bladerunner
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxgu9T1YkqQ

Rutger Hauer wrote that himself a few minutes before shooting the scene.


Tony Curtis at the end of "The Boston Strangler" gets my vote I think.

Sleipnir

foxyboxer wrote:

Baseball player, bosom's mate.

I don't think it would have had quite the same gravitas had he said "bosom's mate" instead of "bosun's mate".

Kazaanova

I don't think anyone here knows what a monologue is.

Karl Hungus

Really should've seen this thread earlier.

I don't wan't to see this board lapsing back into nothing more than a collection of threads that contribute no discussion, only copy&paste repsonses. This thread seems to be the very epitome of that.

The truly annoying thing about these kind of threads is that they seem to breed. Someone posts up a "Best so-and-so" then soon enough we'll have another thread for some other "Best" thread or "Worst" and so forth ad nauseum. It really stifles a forum.